Wanted By You

by Steph Nuss

  "Babe," I sighed, worried. In a matter of seconds, my joy had turned to fear, but I knew I had to stay positive because she was already thinking the worst. She was trembling and I knew it wasn't from crying; she was scared. "Why don't we take another pregnancy test, just to double check? There's no sense in getting all worked up if we're pregnant. A baby's a good thing. I know we didn't plan for it, but I definitely don't think it's a mistake."

  "Carter, I'm not pregnant," she reiterated as she started to pull away from me.

  "Look," I said, desperately, cradling her face in my hands. "Please, just take another test for me. We can go buy a couple of tests, take them, and then rule it out completely."

  "Fine," she snapped, whipping her head out of my hands. "But I already called my doctor's office a little bit ago and made an appointment for Monday."

  "Good," I said, leading her out of the bathroom with my hand on her back. "I'll let the university know we have an appointment."

  "I don’t want you to come with me."

  Her words were meant to hurt, to push me away. That's what she did when she was scared. She picked a fight; she said things to piss me off. But I held it together. I tightened my grip on her waist and led her over to the bed.

  "Sit." She sat, and rolled her eyes as I moved between her legs and ran my hands through her hair. When she finally looked me in the eyes, I covered her mouth with mine and began moving soft and slow over her lips, reminding her of the love we shared. I broke away and tried to swallow the baseball-sized lump in my throat. I held her face in my hands and kissed her once more before pouring my heart out to her. "I know you're scared, and it's okay to be scared. I'm scared, too. But please don't try to push me away when we need each other the most. I love you, and I'll do whatever you want me to do because we do things together now. What happens to you happens to me."

  More sobs wracked her body as she placed her hand over her belly. "I love you, too. It's just that, if I'm not pregnant and I'm not having my period, then something's not right. Something is going on, and it scares the shit out of me because that something could be cancer."

  "I know," I said, drying her cheeks with my thumbs. "But let us be scared together." I placed a kiss on her forehead and smiled. "I'm going to get my truck out of the garage and then we can go get a couple of tests and come back, okay?"

  "I'm not taking the tests here," she said firmly. "I'll take them at the store before I take them here and leave the evidence in your parents' trash."

  * * *

  Fifteen minutes later, I was pacing outside the CVS restroom. Elly went in a few minutes ago with the two tests we purchased, demanding that I wait outside so she could pee. She peed in front of me at home all the time, but I wasn't going to press her. If she wanted privacy, I'd give it to her, but I was growing more impatient by the second. I kept sending up prayers asking for the tests to come back positive. She had to be pregnant. I wanted her to be pregnant.

  Elly peeked out and nodded for me to come in. "Okay, I'm done."

  "Well?" I asked, walking in.

  "We have to wait a few minutes for the results to show up," she said, wrapping her arms around my waist.

  I nodded and stared down at the two white sticks lying on the countertop next to the sink. Please, be positive. Please. Elly laid her head on my shoulders and closed her eyes while we waited. I knew she was exhausted because I was exhausted. Today had been a long one. Working a full day, then flying across country, then enduring dinner with my mom, and now worrying about Elly—I was beat, and I knew Elly's exhaustion had to be ten times worse than mine.

  The minutes passed and Elly roused, lifting her head from my shoulder and shooting me a half hopeful smile. She turned around and we both looked down at the tests together, completely silent.

  The moment I saw the two negative signs, every part of me was overwhelmed with emotion. My shoulders slumped in disappointment. Tears formed in my eyes. My breathing hitched as the lump crawled back up into my throat. My chest felt like it had a million knives in the shape of pregnancy tests stabbed into it.

  Elly threw the tests in the trashcan and faced me with tears streaming down her face. I swallowed hard and demanded of myself that I keep it together. This was already hard enough on her. I didn't need to add any pressure by having a breakdown of my own.

  "Let's go," she said, wiping her face dry.

  I nodded and held her hand as we walked back to the truck. Neither of us spoke the entire way back to my parents' house. We kept the radio turned low as Elly stared out the window and I focused on maneuvering through the late night traffic. We were both upset: disappointed we didn't get good news and scared shitless about what might lie ahead.

  When we were back in the guesthouse, I went into our bathroom and started us a bath. Sex was the furthest thing from my mind. All I wanted was to hold Elly in my arms and relax together. I poured in a few drops of lavender bath oil I found into the hot water before returning to the bedroom to get Elly.

  "Hey." I walked over to where she was seated on the edge up the bed, and she gazed up at me through tired, bloodshot eyes and smiled weakly. I nodded toward the bathroom. "Come on, the tub is calling your name."

  "I'm not really in the mood," she said, as she kicked off her shoes and started undressing. "I just wanna lie down."

  I helped her undress, removing her shirt and pulling her jeans off. When she was down to her bra and panties, I scooped her up without protest. I set her down on the edge of the tub and reached around to unclasp her bra. "This isn't me trying to make a move. This is me being here for you. I just want you to lie back and relax."

  I pulled her to her feet and slid her panties down to the tile, then helped her into the tub. "Are you going to join me?" she asked, sinking into the steaming water. A tiny moan escaped her as she closed her eyes and laid her head back against the edge. Just seeing her relax made me relax.

  "Do you want me to join you?"

  She opened her eyes and nodded. "Yeah, today hasn't been all roses for you, either."

  I quickly undressed and dimmed the lights for a more intimate setting, then I slid into the tub behind her. She relaxed against me with a sigh, her head on my shoulder, and I already felt better with her naked body lying against mine.

  "This is really nice. It feels so good," she said, linking our fingers together.

  "I know." The dark, sensual space we’d created made me want to have a bathroom like this in our home someday so we could soak away rough days like this whenever we wanted. I brought her hands up to my lips and kissed the tops of them. "I want us to try and have a good time the rest of the weekend. I know that's easier said than done, but maybe just for tomorrow we could put our worries aside and have a little fun."

  "I'd like that," she said with a small smile, wrapping my arms around her.

  "I want you to have fun in the dress Harper made for you," I said, kissing her temple. "I know how much you love that dress."

  She nodded. "It's a gorgeous dress."

  "For a gorgeous woman."

  "There's just one thing I want you to do before we put our worries on hold," she said, turning around to face me, straddling my waist.

  I pushed a damp strand of hair out of her face and slid my hands down to her hips. "What's that?"

  "I want you to check my breasts," she said sincerely. "I checked them after I left the dinner table, and I didn't feel any lumps. I looked over all my moles and didn't see any color changes. I checked everything I know to check and found nothing. I just want to see if you feel anything abnormal, anything you don't normally feel when you're touching them."

  "Okay." I lifted my hands up out of the water, but before I touched her breasts, I pulled back and stared at her chest in apprehension. You touch her tits all the time, man. Just touch them. "I'm not really sure I know the right technique to use."

  "Seriously, Carter?" she laughed and shoved my hands onto her boobs. "You give them more attention than I do."

  "I know," I said, s
miling back at her. "I just remember reading something about self-examination when we studied the female body during high school health."

  She rolled her eyes smiling. "Of course, you would remember something you read over ten years ago."

  "Hey, I'm a guy, and we're very fond of the female body, so yeah, I'm gonna remember reading about it."

  "Okay, well don't worry about technique. I want you to pretend we're in the middle of foreplay," she said, arching into my palms as I started massaging. "Do everything you normally do, but instead of focusing on arousal, focus on what you're feeling. Are there any lumps that aren't normally there? Is there any thicker tissue or hard knots that weren't there the last time you felt me up?"

  She raised her arms up over her head and I continued kneading, teasing her beautiful breasts with my fingertips. I felt nothing out of the ordinary. They felt just like they always did, soft and smooth, like a couple of ripe peaches in my palms.

  "I don't feel anything different," I said, lowering my hands to her waist.

  "Good," she said, wrapping her arms around my neck with a smile. "Having no symptoms is a good sign. So, no more talk about this until Monday." She kissed my lips with urgency and then turned back around so her body was stretched over mine.

  Our hands and feet roamed over each other, just relishing the feel of one another as we relaxed. She brought a hand up to my neck and pulled me in for another soft, deep kiss. I never wanted to leave this tub. Everything in our world seemed perfect in this moment, even though I knew it wasn't. Something was going on inside the woman I loved and the thought of that absolutely terrified me.

  She broke away and searched my face with timid eyes. "Talk to me, Mickey. Sitting here all quiet is only making us dwell on it even more. Talk to me about anything."

  "Um, the lease on my apartment is up at the end of December," I said, twining my fingers with hers. "I got a letter in the mail the other day about renewing it."

  "Are you going to?" she asked curiously.

  I laughed lightly and kissed her cheek. "I don’t want to, but if you're not ready for us to move in together, I understand."

  "No, I want you to move in." She moved so we were face-to-face and pressed together, her legs locked around my waist and my hands cupping her beautiful ass. "Most of your stuff is already at my place, anyway. You rarely stay at your apartment. It just makes sense. Maybe we could even look into getting a place of our own. You know, something bigger."

  "I'd like that."

  When she rested her arms around my neck and started rattling off details about house hunting, I knew we were no longer dwelling on her health. "I'd really like to stay in my building. It's close to both of our jobs. The neighborhood is nice. I'll have to call Connie and ask her about the penthouses. I don't know how much they go for, but they're huge. I walked through one after they finished remodeling, and it was beautiful. What do you think?"

  Amusement coursed through me when she asked for my input. She already knew I liked her building. She knew money wasn't an issue. She knew I'd be happy wherever, as long as she was happy. I smiled back at her and brushed my lips against hers. "I think we should call her when we get back."

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ellyson

  The following day, I spent most of the morning and afternoon with Harper and Bayler. Carter went golfing with his dad, and I wasn't exactly sure where his mom went. I didn't mind hanging out with the girls, though. They kept me distracted from thoughts of cancer, and all the other scary crap I read about on WebMD while Carter and I ate breakfast. When I read that based on my symptoms I could be going through virilization, or the development of male sex characteristics, I closed my phone's web browser and hid it in my purse.

  WebMD shouldn't even exist.

  Carter suggested that I stay off the internet for the rest of the day.

  I agreed.

  So, I spent my time with his sisters, observing their behavior and comparing them to my friends. They reminded me a lot of Paige and Tessa. Harper was like Paige, something of a perfectionist, and Bayler blurted things out the same way Tessa did. But Harper was like Tessa, in that they were almost annoyingly romantic. Currently, Harper was overseeing the decorating crew in the ballroom and aw-ing over every bit of it the same way I knew Tessa would. And Bayler was rolling her eyes like Paige would be doing.

  It was almost comical, but picking out their similarities and differences was a way to keep my worries at bay. I wanted to have fun today. I deserved to have fun.

  "Oh my God, let's go," Bayler complained, dragging me into the kitchen just off of the ballroom. "I need a drink."

  "It's not even noon yet," I laughed, watching her open a wine cooler.

  "I don't care," Bayler said with a shrug. "If I have to listen to her talk about centerpieces and balloons and shit, I need one. What about you?"

  I nodded.

  "Good." She grabbed two cups and poured the wine. "Trust me. These parties are a lot more fun when you start drinking now."

  "Yeah, Carter mentioned that," I said, looking around the large, stainless steel kitchen. "Did you do the cake for tonight or did someone else make it?"

  "Mom actually asked me to do it. Can you believe that? Do you wanna see it?"

  "Sure," I said, following her back to a walk-in cooler.

  "It's a replica of their cake from thirty years ago," she said, smiling. "Mom wanted everything to look the same way it did on their wedding night, so their cake looks just as plain as it did back then."

  I smiled and admired the round, white, six-tier cake. It was simple and classic, with swag piping and a large cascade of red roses, but I agreed with Bayler, it was kind of plain compared to most wedding cakes nowadays. I expected something more extravagant from Mrs. Jennings.

  "Are all six tiers white cake, too?" I asked, teasing.

  "Hell no," Bayler said, shaking her head. "They had white and chocolate thirty years ago, but I told Mom if I was doing the cake, we were going to add some different flavors. White and chocolate are just so generic. What's your favorite flavor?"

  "Red velvet."

  "Aw, just like Carter. Then you'll want a piece of the top tier," she said, smiling.

  We left the cooler and walked back into the kitchen, where a catering crew was already setting up, and then back out to the ballroom where Harper was overseeing all the finishing touches.

  "Everything looks perfect!" Harper cheered, with a clipboard in her hand.

  "Yay," Bayler said sarcastically. "Is it time for our massages yet?"

  Harper looked at her phone, then back at the clipboard. "I guess we could head on over to the guesthouse and see if everything's set up so we can start getting ready."

  "The party isn't until seven, right?" I asked. It wasn't even noon and they already wanted to start getting ready? That was not how Ellyson Evans operated. I was an hour-before kind of a gal. What the hell were we going to do for six hours?

  "You're so cute," Bayler said, throwing her arm over my shoulders. "Yes, the party is at seven, but you will learn that an all-day session of pampering is needed before attending one of our parents' parties. Kinda like the alcohol."

  "You guys are already drinking?" Harper grumbled. "Where's mine?"

  "You were too busy blabbering about centerpieces," Bayler said, leading us out to the backyard. She looked back at Harper and smiled. "And get rid of that stupid clipboard. You look like Mom."

  "Hey, this clipboard is keeping us on task," Harper said, catching up to us.

  "Yeah, and there's probably an app for that. Download it," Bayler teased.

  When we arrived at the guesthouse, I went up to our room and checked my phone. I'd left a message for Connie, my dad's realtor, earlier this morning, about looking into the penthouses in my building, hoping and praying one was up for sale. After talking to Carter about moving in together, I was excited about us finding a bigger place, but mostly looking forward to buying new furniture and decorating.

  But nothing. Not
one missed call or any messages.

  "Elly," Harper said, standing in the doorway. "We have three hot masseurs ready to get their hands on us. Come on!"

  I smiled at her enthusiasm and threw my phone back in my purse. I wanted to call Connie one more time, but I left the room and followed Harper into another, where three beds were lined up and two hot, shirtless men stood waiting for us while another was already working on a naked Bayler.

  "You weren't kidding, huh?" I laughed.

  "Bayler doesn't joke around when it comes to her massages," Harper said, smiling, "Or men in general. She set this up."

  Bayler lifted her head and smiled at us as she ran one of her hands over the six-pack abs of her masseur. "What can I say? I like my massages to include a nice pair of strong hands and some eye candy."

  Harper and I laughed and then moved into the bathroom to change out of our clothes. I slipped into the robe hanging on the back of the door for me and immediately fell in love. This robe was so comfy and full of fluff that it felt like a thousand clouds hugging my body. I wanted to take it home with me. I didn't need a massage. I could just hang out in this robe all afternoon until it was time for me to put on my dress.

  But I disrobed and lay face-down on the bed between Harper and Bayler. One of the hotties started rubbing oil all over my body and then went to work. He loosened every tension-filled knot in my body, sending me into a blissful state of paradise. The thought of asking him if anything felt abnormal crossed my mind a couple of times but I quickly let it go. Too awkward.