by Steph Nuss
"I can't wait to lie down in my bed," I sighed.
"Yeah, are you tired?"
"Not really. I just want to lie down in my own bed instead of one that felt like an inflatable raft." He laughed and continued walking me down the hall while I checked him out. He didn't seem as exhausted now as he had in the car. He seemed excited—a little giddy, even. He was probably just happy to have me home.
"What?" he asked, shooting me a sly, sexy look. It was such a shame our sex life had to be put on hold for a little while, but we'd certainly taken advantage of the last four days. Sex helped ease our nerves, but I wasn't quite sure how the next few weeks were going to go. It would be difficult having him in my apartment but completely off limits.
"Nothing," I said, studying his lips. I reached out and grabbed his chin and drew him in for a quick kiss. "We won't be able to have sex for a while."
"You're worried about our sex life?" he mused, raising a brow at me.
"No, I'm not worried about it. Just don't give me your sexy smile or walk around here naked to torture me, okay?"
"Okay," he laughed.
When we finally turned into my room, I stopped dead in my tracks and gasped at the beautiful oasis he turned my room into. There were a bunch of flowers and cards set up in the corner, like my own little get-well shrine. He had turned my bed into an adorable fort with a purple canopy hanging from the ceiling and white lights strung inside. It looked like the perfect place to take a nap or read a good book or watch a movie together. There was a large purple basket sitting on his side of the bed, but I couldn't tell what was all in it. Completely awestruck, I looked to my left and found a bunch of envelopes taped up to the wall in four rows.
His lips brushed my neck and his warm breath sent shivers down my spine. "Let's get you into bed."
"Carter, I can't believe you did all of this," I said, still admiring everything as he led me over to my bed. He hit a button and the canopy curtains pulled back to the headboard. "There's a button for the canopy?" I asked, bubbling with excitement as I leaned back into the sea of pillows.
He smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed holding a remote control. "Yep, the canopy is controlled by this remote. You can either have it pulled back like it is now or release the curtains around the sides of the bed. It'll be easier to get in and out of bed when it's pulled back. There's also a button to turn the lights on and off."
"When did you—"
"I'm not done." He shut me up with another kiss and I grew even more impatient waiting to see what else he had in store for me. He lifted the basket into his lap and I noticed a bunch of my favorite things tucked neatly inside. "This basket is filled with a bunch of goodies I think you'll enjoy over the next few weeks."
It felt like I'd won my own personal lottery. The citrus body lotion I used on a daily basis. The Burt's Bees lip balm my lips couldn't live without during the winter. Bags of popcorn and hot chocolate, granola bars, and little baggies of my favorite candies, like sour worms and the wild berry Life Saver gummies. Bags of beef jerky and pistachios. All my favorite chocolate candies: Hershey's cookies 'n' crème bars, Reese's mini peanut butter cups, and Twix. There wasn't a favorite snack of mine that he had missed. There was even a note inside the basket that said there were pints of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and packages of pizza rolls in the freezer and all of my favorite cereals stocked in the pantry.
I looked up at him, beaming, and pulled him in for a kiss. "I love this. I love my bed turned into a fort and all of my favorite treats in this huge, beautiful basket."
"That's not all," he said, digging around toward the bottom of the basket. He pulled out a black rectangular box and opened it. He handed me the tablet with a smile. "I uploaded a bunch of books onto this that I thought you might enjoy reading over the next four weeks."
"I will have a lot of time to catch up on my reading," I said, admiring the brand new Kindle. I had an iPad that I used mainly for work, so this tablet was a welcome treasure I couldn't wait to play around with.
"There're two more things I want to show you," he said, standing up. He walked over to the TV opposite from my bed and tapped on the DVD player. "This has your top five favorite movies of all time already in it, but all of my DVDs are in the black case on your nightstand."
I watched in surprise as he turned the DVD player on and a five disc changer slid open. "Whoa, that thing holds five DVDs at once?"
"Yep."
"Okay, so what are my five favorite movies of all time?" I asked, quizzing him for fun.
"When Harry Met Sally, The Breakfast Club, Dazed and Confused, Wimbledon, and for some reason that I will never understand, The Silence of the Lambs."
"Very good," I said, clapping my hands. "And The Silence of the Lambs won a bunch of awards, so I know good movies."
"Moving on," he said, walking over to the wall. He leaned against it and crossed his arms over his chest. "I know you said you didn't want to tell any of our friends about this until after your surgery, but since Tessa already knew because she works with you, I told everyone else."
"I was going to tell them," I said, scowling at him. "I didn't need you to tell them for me."
"I didn't tell them for you," he admitted, tapping the wall. "I told them for me. I needed their help with this. I needed their help with all of this. I planned everything, but they're the ones who came over this morning and set it all up for me."
"Okay, so what is that?" I asked, pointing to the wall.
"It's a countdown. There are twenty-eight envelopes up here," he said, looking up at the wall. "Dr. Dionisi said the results could take four to five weeks, so we have another week prepared just in case."
"Okay …"
"Since you won't let me take off from work and stay home with you, I thought of something even better."
"Oh, great," I said, tilting my head up to the canopy. It was so pretty. How could he go from planning something so pretty to planning something so potentially annoying?
"Think of this like a countdown to the test results. Each day, one of our friends will come over and hang out with you for a little bit, whether it's over their lunch break, or after work, or for a couple hours during their workday—or all day, in Tessa's case. But you can't open the envelope for that day until they tell you to." He looked pleased with himself as he walked back over to the bed. He kicked off his shoes and slipped into bed beside me. He linked his fingers with mine and kissed the top of my hand. "I don't think you need a baby-sitter, Elly. That's not what this is about. It's about what's inside those envelopes. Our friends and I have written down bucket list items we want to do with you regardless of whether or not you have cancer.
"When I told them about the mass, they were all worried—Maverick actually punched a hole through your dad's wall—but they wanted to do something to make you feel better. I thought back to the promise we made to live each day to its fullest and I came up with this. When I told them about it, they loved the idea of keeping you company and counting down the days with you in a fun way. We love you and we all agreed that we need to take advantage of the time we have left together, so there are twenty-eight promises up there, and more if needed, for us to fulfill after you're all healed up."
I swallowed down all my frustration toward him and leaned against his shoulder as tears filled my eyes. "I love you. I know I was upset a second ago, and I think maybe it's just my hormones reacting to the loss of an ovary or something, because this is really sweet. It's all really sweet. The get-well flowers and cards. The bed. The basket of treats. The DVD changer. The bucket list countdown. I love all of it. Thank you so much."
He lifted my head off his shoulder and sat me back up with an apprehensive look on his face. "You might not love me so much after my next big surprise."
"What did you do?"
"I shut the internet off in the apartment," he said, in a voice full of apprehension.
"You did what!?" I snapped. What the fuck was he thinking cutting off the internet
? I needed the internet. I had emails to check and information to Google.
"Let me explain."
I exhaled in frustration shaking my head. "Why the hell would you do that? I run a psych clinic, Carter. What if someone needs to contact me via email?"
"Look," he said, leaning back against the headboard. "I think you need this. I think you need to disconnect from everything instead of scouring the internet for all of the ovarian cancer info you can find. I have your laptop hidden. It's not in the apartment, so don't even try looking for it. You have an old phone for the time being that only sends and receives calls and text messages. That's it. Your clinic will be fine. Tessa is monitoring your work email, so if anyone needs to reach you for an emergency, they can. I think this will be good for us."
"You took my phone and my laptop?" I asked incredulously. "How is my Kindle going to work without the internet? How am I supposed to read hot, erotic novels and dream about book boyfriends who don't shut off their girlfriends’ internet if I have no way of downloading the books?! Riddle me that, professor?!"
"I already downloaded them for you," he said, a cocky grin tugging at his perfect lips. "And yes, I did download some popular erotic novels I thought you might enjoy, since, you know, we can't have sex for a little while."
Damn him.
He didn't miss a thing.
And, just like that, I let all of my anger toward him go, because he was right. I needed to disconnect from the internet. It would help lower my anxiety level. I couldn't look up information or stats or horror stories when I didn't have Google right at my fingertips.
I smiled at him and lifted our linked hands to my lips for a kiss. He quickly jumped out of bed and turned off all the lights in my room, then crawled back into bed and moved my basket of goodies onto his nightstand. I grabbed the remote for the canopy and slowly eased myself down as the soft purple curtains enclosed the bed.
With the lights twinkling all around us, Carter turned sideways and leaned his head against his hand, and I sighed. "I'm really sorry I snapped at you. You did all of this for me, and I've been nothing but a rollercoaster ride of emotions since we got home. You're right. I need to disconnect. It will keep me from worrying about the test results."
He caressed my cheek with his hand and then covered my lips with his for a tender kiss that made goose bumps peak over my skin. "I love you, Ellyson," he said, caressing my other cheek. "When I'm here at home with you, I'll be just as disconnected as you are. I'll be lying here in bed with you or refilling your treat basket or doing whatever it is you need me to do. I'm here for you."
"I know, and I love you for it," I said, kissing his wrist. I lay there for a few minutes, just gazing at him and admiring the canopy our friends put up. No one had ever done something so special for me before. "I feel like we're in our own little paradise in here. How did you come up with all of this?"
He wiggled his brows as if he wasn't going to tell me, then rested his head on the pillow next to mine. "I have a good memory," he said with a small shrug.
"Oh, come on, tell me the memory."
"Okay. It was close to winter break and you were over at my place for a movie night, and you built a fort for us to the watch movies in out of the blankets Cash and I had, and I remember you telling me it would look better with some Christmas lights hung up the inside. Hence, Christmas lights lining the inside of your fort."
"I remember that," I said with a faint laugh that made my stomach hurt. I winced at the pain and slowly exhaled.
"You should be resting," Carter said, kissing my forehead. "Do you want another pain pill?"
"No, I've got everything I want right here inside my fort." I shut my eyes and said a silent prayer that my worried thoughts would stay at bay, at least until I got my results back. Carter and our friends had done everything in their power to create the perfect, relaxing recovery space for me, and I really was eager to read their bucket list items, and even more excited to read the novels Carter picked out for me. The least I could do was make an effort to stay optimistic for their sake. They'd only worry if I worried, so I needed to enjoy my time with them because who knew how much time any of us had left.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Four Weeks Later
Ellyson
Four weeks flew by in the blink of an eye. Every day of the week, one of my friends or Carter kept me company, just like he said they would, and now I only had one more envelope taped up on the wall and I couldn't summon any more optimism for anybody. I was sitting up in bed, with my phone in my lap, waiting for the call that could change my life forever. I wanted my test results to be in today. I wasn't opening that envelope until my phone rang. I'd spent the last four weeks waiting for today to come, but as the workday ticked closer and closer to the weekend, all I could do was wait, stay somewhat hopeful that the phone would ring, and think back on the past four weeks.
* * *
"Okay, you can open it," Carter said, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. It was the day after my surgery, and I'd been bugging him all morning about letting me open the first envelope from the bucket list countdown.
He finally gave in sometime in the afternoon. I was actually surprised he lasted that long.
I ripped open the envelope and read the paper aloud. "Start trying for a baby. With only one tube, my men might have to work a little harder, you know. Love you."
"Now, I didn't write that as a bucket list item to pressure you into it," he said, taking my hand in his. "I just want you to know that I'm ready to start trying whenever you are, whether that's a couple of seconds after you're all healed up or a couple of years, or whenever."
I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Good to know."
* * *
"I'm gonna kill June! I'm waiting to hear back from a client via email and I can't even check my email here. I don't understand how the hell you've been living like this," Paige said, pacing around my room, tapping around on her phone.
"Yeah, and I'm waiting to open your bucket list item. The world of waiting sucks," I said, scooping up a spoonful of ice cream. "But you have to admit, it's kinda nice not hearing your phone go off every ten minutes."
"Yeah, that's true." She laughed and then peeled her envelope off the wall. She threw her phone into her purse and sat down on the bed, smiling as she handed it over. I quickly ripped it open and read it out loud. "Take the girls on a vacation to another country."
I looked up at her smiling, my eyes wide in complete shock. Paige Abram didn't take vacations.
Ever.
During our first year of college, she actually stayed in the dorms instead of going home for breaks.
"Everyone's always telling me I need a vacation. My parents. You guys. Hell, even the people at work think I work too much. So, I've decided that I'm taking a vacation and you and Tessa are coming with me. My treat."
"Holy shit, stop the presses! Paige Abram is taking a vacation!" I laughed, giving her a hug. "No, really, you deserve it, and thanks for wanting to take me with you. I can't wait!" I handed the pint of ice cream over to her and she dipped her spoon into the carton. "So, how was the marathon? I'm sorry I wasn't there to be your running partner like we planned."
She waved me off with the spoon and sighed. "Don't worry about it. You didn't miss anything except the cold weather and the moment where I rolled my ankle and had to stop. Be glad you weren't there."
* * *
"Elly, everything in here is junk food," Maverick complained, rummaging through my treat basket on my nightstand.
"Yeah, because nobody wants to eat healthy stuff when they're trying to relax," I said, breaking off a piece of my Hershey's bar.
"Does this shit work?" he asked, popping the cap off my lip balm and swiping it across his lips. "My lips are so fuckin' chapped." He put the cap back on and then offered it to me.
"Keep it," I said. "I have more in the basket if I need some."
"Cool. What movie are we watching?"
"Tommy Boy."
His smile turned mischievous and he walked into my closet and came back out carrying my coat. I immediately started shaking my head and laughing because I knew what was coming. "Elly … big guy in a little coat," he crooned, trying to suppress his laughter, sliding his big arms into my pea coat, "Big guy in a little coat." He swayed from side to side and then spun around, imitating Chris Farley's character, singing, "Big guy in a little coat! Big guy in a little coat!"
"If you rip my coat, you're buying me a new one!" I laughed, trying to catch my breath. I felt a bolt of pain in my lower belly from laughing so hard, but it was totally worth it to watch Maverick reenact the hilarious scene.
He shrugged out of the coat, laughing, and hung it back up in the closet. He walked back into my room smiling. "I couldn't help it. That scene always makes you laugh," he said, peeling his envelope off the wall. He sat down on the bed next to me. "Open it."
I tore it open and read, "Get tattoos together."
"I thought we could get something in memory of your mom. She was like my second mom," he said, smiling at me sincerely.
"I'd really like that," I said, leaning my head against his arm. He may be a big, burly personal trainer, but his heart definitely trumped the size of his muscles. "Thanks, Mav."
"Anything for you, Goose."
* * *
"Okay, Elly," Cash announced, immediately pulling his envelope off the wall as he strolled into my bedroom. "I'm giving this to you right away for a reason."
He’d made his second visit over the weekend while Carter was at home with me. He tossed the envelope into my lap and then moved to help Carter hook something up to the TV. When he turned back around, I still hadn't opened it yet, a little leery of what he might want to do with me. It better not be anything sexual.
"Open it, already," he said, nudging my arm.
I sliced the envelope open and pulled out a thick piece of paper. I unfolded it and found the lyrics to one of my favorite songs and smiled. "Duet karaoke to Meatloaf’s ‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light,’"
