by Steph Nuss
Dr. Dionisi cleared her throat and then opened the folder and turned it so I could see for myself. She said it before I even had a chance to look, though. "Elly, your tumor came back benign. You do not have cancer."
"I don't have cancer," I breathed, repeating her words to make sure I’d heard them correctly. She said benign, as in not malignant, not cancerous, not deadly.
"You don't have cancer," she said, smiling at me.
"I don't have cancer," I repeated shakily, smiling over at Carter and trying to make sure I wasn't imagining this conversation.
"I know, babe," he said, smiling, and he cradled my face in his hands. He pulled me in for a soft, tender kiss and then breathed his own sigh of relief. "I know."
Dr. Walsh released my arm, and I turned my attention to her. She was smiling and I thought I saw a hint of emotion glistening in her eyes. She had been in Dr. Dionisi's position once, giving my parents the news. Some doctors got emotionally invested in their patients, treating them like they were their own family members, and I knew Carter and I weren't the only ones relieved.
"Elly, we will still need to do a series of follow-ups," she said.
"Yes," Dr. Dionisi agreed, nodding. "We'll do a pelvic exam and blood testing to check your hormone levels every three months for the next two years, and then every six months for the next three. Your mass was identified as a granulosa-theca cell tumor, and in patients under thirty, tumors of that type often recur within the first three years. So, we'll want to stay on top of everything even though your tumor was benign."
I nodded, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carter's elation deflate.
"I'd also like you to keep up with your annual mammograms," Dr. Walsh said. "Just so we have all of our bases covered."
"Of course," I said, nodding. I reached for Carter's hand under the table, knowing he didn't want to wait five years to have a baby. He wouldn't have put it as his first bucket list item if he wanted to wait, and now that I knew I didn't have cancer, I didn't want to wait either. I linked our fingers together and smiled. "What about pregnancy? When can we start trying? And will it be more difficult for us to conceive now that I only have one ovary?"
Excitement sparkled in Dr. Walsh's eyes as she smiled at Carter and me. "Your chances of conceiving are the same as when you had both ovaries and tubes. Your right ovary and fallopian tube are healthy, so I don't imagine you'll have any difficulties getting pregnant; however, I would like you to wait a couple of months to start trying. I want to make sure your menstrual cycle becomes regular again. Have you had your cycle since surgery?"
"Yes," I said, smiling. "Last week."
"Good. Then I'd like you to wait at least another month, and then if everything is back to normal, you can stop taking your birth control pills and start trying."
"How long will it take—"
"Elly," Dr. Walsh said, interrupting my incessant worrying. "You're both young, healthy individuals."
Dr. Dionisi nodded. "If you haven't conceived by this time next year, we can look into it further, but what I think Dr. Walsh is trying to say is, just don’t worry about infertility. You're obviously in love. Enjoy it."
"Exactly," Dr. Walsh said with a smile.
Carter kissed me on the cheek and then smiled at the doctors. "Thank you for everything, for taking care of us."
"Anytime," Dr. Dionisi said. Her eyes flew to my left hand and she pulled it across the table. "And when did you get this rock? I don't remember seeing this on your finger last time you were in here."
"I just got it today, actually," I said, laughing.
"Well, congratulations!" she said, letting go of my hand. "It's beautiful."
"Yes, congratulations!" Dr. Walsh lifted my hand and studied the diamond closely. "I'd guess three carats. It's absolutely gorgeous on you, dear. Did he pick this out all by himself?"
"Yep," I said, smiling over at my fiancé. His face was lit up, listening to the women praise his ring choice. Dr. Walsh let go of my hand and I stood up from the table. "Now, if you ladies don’t mind excusing us, my fiancé and I have a lot of celebrating to do."
* * *
Carter and I couldn't keep our hands off each other in the cab, and once we got into my apartment building, he pulled me into the elevator and continued making out with me. Why we were in the elevator was a mystery to me. I only lived a couple floors up. The stairs would've been a lot faster. But I didn't care because he had me up against the wall of the elevator, his hips pressed into my mine, owning my mouth with his, and all I wanted was sex. We hadn't had sex in weeks, and my libido was practically pinging off the metal walls like we were in the middle of sexual racquetball.
When the doors opened, he lifted me in his arms, hooked my legs around his waist, and carried me out of the elevator and into the … wait . . . .
My dream home?
We were in the penthouse I had wanted and thought we’d lost out on.
"Carter …" I gasped, admiring the space, confused, shocked, and completely overjoyed all at once. The lights were off, but inside the living room stood a large green Christmas tree decorated to perfection with lights and ornaments and a star placed on top, and a few feet away from the tree, an intimate fire burned in the hearth, providing the ideal amount of light for a night in.
"You have one more bucket list item," Carter said, setting me down. He pulled out an envelope from his pocket and handed it to me.
I quickly tore it open, almost tired of opening envelopes. "Carry you into our home."
"Welcome home, Ellyson," he said, pulling me back in for another deep, gentle kiss.
"Y-you bought it?" I asked. "I thought Connie said they went with the other offer … wait, you were the other offer?!"
"Well, there were actually three offers on the place," he said, smiling. "Ours, another couple's, and mine."
"Why did you—"
"Because," he said, kissing me again. "This is your dream home, our dream home. I had to make sure it was ours, and I knew you wouldn't budge on the amount we offered. The other couple upped their offer when they found out we placed ours, so I put in a higher offer of my own."
"You always get what you want," I laughed, shrugging out of my coat. "How much?"
"I'm not telling," he said, tossing his coat to the floor.
"Carter, just tell me."
"We can talk about finances later," he said, walking me over to the fire. "I'm in the mood to celebrate and get you naked in front of the fire."
I laughed and looked down at the blankets lying on the floor next to two wine glasses. There was another envelope propped up against one of the wine glasses, bigger than any of the envelopes from the bucket list countdown.
"What's in that envelope?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously. "What more could you possibly surprise me with tonight?"
"I don't know," he said, sounding genuinely puzzled. He picked up the glasses and handed the envelope to me, kissing my cheek. "Why don't you find out and I'll go fill our glasses?"
He walked off before I could say another word, leaving me alone in the living room with the tree, the fire, and the envelope. I slipped my boots off and sat down by the fire, wrapping myself in a blanket.
I picked the envelope up and the aged edges immediately caught my eye. I turned it around to read the front, and that's when my heart stopped beating. Everything around me stopped. The fire stopped crackling and the snow outside our windows paused mid-fall. My breathing grew shallow when I read my name on the front, in a script I was all too familiar with. My hands trembled. I ran a finger over my mom's handwriting, tracing each curvature of ink, imagining her writing my name here. Tears started spilling down my face as I turned it around and slid a finger under the seal to open it. After years of her being gone, I wanted to read her words. I wanted to read her sweet, caring tone because I missed her and I'd give anything just to hear her voice one more time.
I pulled the folded letter out and laid the envelope in my lap. I carefully unfolded the paper and s
moothed out its creases before scooting closer to the fire to read it.
My Beautiful Ellyson,
Ohmigawd.
If you're reading this, you've found your Mickey. He's asked for your hand in marriage, you've agreed, and your dad's given this letter to him to give to you. I cannot tell you how happy I am for you, sweetie. Love is a strange thing and it works in mysterious ways, but never stop listening to that heart of yours. It knows you better than you know yourself, trust me. I thank God every day for listening to mine and finding your dad because he gave me you, and for that I will never be able to thank him enough. When we found out I was pregnant with a baby girl, I started dreaming of the day my Mickey would hand you off to yours. I'm sorry I won't be able to be there, but just know I'll be watching over you just like I always am. You're going to be the most beautiful bride. My only request is that you turn my old wedding dress into your own. Cut it up and redesign it to your liking. It's yours now. It can be your something old and you'll have a part of me with you on your special day. Dad should have it stored away somewhere. Save a few dances at your wedding for your dad, okay? And your father-daughter dance should be to Billy Joel's "Lullaby." One of my favorite things as a wife and a mother was watching the love of my life cradle our little girl in his arms and sing that lullaby to her as he rocked her to sleep. Your dad never caught me watching, and he wasn't the greatest singer, but God, you two were the most gorgeous sight. You both are the greatest gifts my heart ever gave me, and I just want you to remember that my love for you will always go on and on … because love never dies, just like lullabies.
Love,
Mom
By the time I finished reading the letter a second time, I was a blubbering mess, tears streaming down my face. At some point while I'd been reading, Carter had sat down behind me and pulled me back against his chest. I brought the paper up to my nose and smelled the light citrus scent of my mom still lingering on the page, and a smile spread across my face, thankful for receiving one more piece of her that I didn't have before.
I folded the letter up and slid it back into the safety of the envelope and out of harm’s way, so I could cherish it forever. Carter removed my knit cap and moved all my hair to one side, and started kissing my neck.
"You all right, babe?" he asked, handing me a glass of wine.
"Yeah, I am," I said, taking a sip. And I truly was, because my mom was right. Love never dies. After years of her being gone, I still loved her just as much as I did when she was alive, if not more so. Her letter proved it didn't matter how much time we had; it mattered what we did with it. Love was one thing time could never take away from us.
I smiled and turned around so I was facing Carter, my back to the fire. He’d poured his heart out to me earlier and, after reading my mom's letter, I wanted to do the same. "I had a moment today where I planned to break up with you if my test results weren't good."
"So, you planned to kill me?" he asked smiling, completely amused. "Because that's the only way you're getting rid of me. But even then I'll still love you."
"Just listen," I said, smiling. I set my glass down in front of the fireplace and slid my arms around his neck and sighed. "I watched my dad watch the love of his life die, and I promised myself back then that I'd never go through that or put someone through that kind of pain. That's why I never really dated in high school or college. I never wanted to fall in love.
"And then you happened and everything changed. I fell in love with you the minute you told me your name. And when I walked into that classroom tonight, I flashed back to a time when a confident young man asked a bashful girl her name, and I knew there was no way I could ever give you up. Just being in that room again reminded me of how strong our love is and how much I need you, and I know that no matter what life brings us, our love will never die. You're the love of my life, Carter, and I can't wait to spend forever with you."
"Me either," he said, smiling. He pulled me in for a hot, eager kiss. "Forever's all I've ever wanted with you."
The End
Acknowledgements
It was April 2013, when I finally decided to sit down at my computer and start writing. As an avid reader, I'd always dreamed of becoming a writer, but one does not become a writer without the help and support of others. Here are my others:
Jennifer Probst: Thank you for your friendship, for sharing your love of writing with me, and for encouraging me to write. When I told you about my ideas for the Love in the City series, you were beyond excited for me and told me to go for it, to keep on writing! Your support truly means the world to me. Thank you for pushing me to make my dreams come true.
Cassia Leo: Thank you for being so supportive. Your passion for writing helped drive mine. You're such a talented writer, and I'm so happy to have you as a friend.
Jillian Dodd, Beth Suit, and Kenzie Dodd: Our conference call regarding the storyline and the characters really changed me as a writer. You all made me a better writer during that one phone call. All of your suggestions and ideas pushed me to be better. Thank you for your time and dedication in helping me bring out the best in my characters and my story. You three just understand me as a person and as a writer, and I love that. You truly are the best!
Bandit Publishing: Thank you for believing in me and for making my dreams come true. I couldn't imagine working with a better group of people. Thank you for welcoming me into your group with open arms and a whole lot of support. I look forward to working on future projects with all of you.
Rebecca Peters-Golden: Thank you for the time and work you put into copy-editing my story. You truly know your way around a sentence, and for that, I'm grateful.
Michelle Preast at Indie Book Covers: You are a graphic-designing angel. Thank you for designing such a beautiful book cover. I contacted you early on about designing a book cover for me, and between you and Jillian, you ladies knew exactly what I wanted and made it come to life.
Aimee, Holli, Krista, Melissa, Nicole T., Mandy, Leslie, Mandie, Nicole L.: Thank you for beta reading for me. Thank you for reading my book early on in the editing process and giving me your honest thoughts and opinions. You helped mold my story into greatness, and I appreciate each of you taking the time to do so. I'd like to dedicate Wilson to you girls.
Heather, Lauren, and Josh: Thank you for your never-ending support. You believed in me and my book from the very beginning, and you always reminded me to have faith in myself. Thank you for being the greatest friends in the world, and for always being a text message away whenever I need you.
Book Bloggers: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the hard work you to do. Your love for reading and the endless amount of support and encouragement you give to us authors is truly amazing, and I cannot thank you enough for everything you do.
My family: Thank you for your continuous love and support for my writing. To my dad who never doubted my dreams for a second. To my mom who instilled in me my love for reading and writing from a very young age. To my brothers who gave me the thick skin it takes to pursue a career in writing. To my sister-in-law who's my shoulder to lean on. I wouldn't have been able to chase after this dream if it weren't for you guys. I love you all.
Gunner: Thank you for always keeping me company, and for understanding when I was too busy writing to take you on a walk. I know you'll never read this, but I swear I'll make it up to you because you're my dog and I love you.
To you, the reader: Thank you for sharing a passion for reading and for taking the time to read my book. I truly appreciate all the support and feedback I receive from each and every one of you. I'm just like all of you: I love reading. I love connecting with other readings and talking about my favorite characters and what I loved about the story. So, I hope you loved what you read, and I hope you share your thoughts and feelings with me. I'm grateful for every one of you, and I want you all to know that your dreams can come true as long as you never give up.
About the Author
Steph Nuss was born and ra
ised in rural Kansas, where she currently resides with her black Labrador son named Gunner. She grew up with a passion for reading and writing. When she’s not immersed into the land of fiction, she enjoys listening to music that came before her time, watching movies and reruns of her favorite shows, and hanging out with her family and friends. She also has a bachelor’s degree in psychology that she’ll never use…unless she’s profiling her characters of course.
Steph Nuss’ Website
