“Oh my God, you guys were like cuddling?” she asks, getting a huge smile on her face.
My mouth falls open and I shoot her a glare. “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s not cute Poppy. Everything I’m feeling for Fitz is wrong. I have a boyfriend,” I moan out, sinking down onto the bed, covering my face with my hands. She once again doesn’t say anything, just sits next to me and after a few minutes I pull my hands away from my face. I turn my head to look at her and she looks down at me with sadness. “Why does it feel so good then?” I ask, the fight long gone.
“Oh Brooklyn,” she says and holds my hand. “Sweetie, maybe it feels so good because it’s what you really want. I know you’re with Hank and that you’ve got the perfect little life going on, but maybe deep down, you want more. Maybe Fitz is more.”
“He wants to take me somewhere and I told him yes. What the hell am I doing?” I ask, because maybe she’s right. Maybe I do want more.
“I think you need to stop beating yourself up. You are on vacation. Enjoy yourself and stop worrying so much. No one is going to think any less of you if you hang out with Fitz. Go out, have fun,” she says, getting up off the bed. “The guys need to get to the studio. Do you want to come along?”
I think about it for a minute before I sit up. “Yes, I’d love to go.” She smiles and starts walking to the door. I jump up and grab her arm, stopping her. “Do you think I’ll have time to stop by here before Fitz takes me out? I don’t exactly want to go looking like this?”
“Brooklyn, I think Fitz would wait all night for you.”
I nod my head and take a deep breath as I follow her back out. I need to stop looking like a damn fool in front of Fitz. Even though I know nothing will happen with him, I’ve made up my mind that I am going to enjoy this time in New York with him. While I’m here, I’m Brooklyn. I have the rest of my life to be Brooke.
I won’t lie, when Brooklyn pulled away from me like that, I was pissed. I have no idea where her head is, but fuck mine is consumed with her. Since last night, I’ve thought of nothing but her and I’m not used to having someone act this way around me. Even before Renegade, I never had to try very hard to get a girl’s attention. With Brooklyn, it’s like I have it one minute and lose it the next. It’s confusing and frustrating, but when she came back out of the bedroom and apologized, I simply accepted. Maybe I’m the fool here. Maybe I’m setting myself up for defeat, but when I look at her, I don’t give a shit.
We just got to the studio and as Poppy and Nate walk in, I hang back and wait for Brooklyn. She smiles at me and says, “You don’t need to wait for me.”
I wink at her and nudge her shoulder with mine. “I know I don’t need to, I want to.”
We walk into the spacious foyer and Brooklyn’s eyes pop. Her head swivels as she tries to take it all in. “Yeah, it’s a little extravagant, but we hang out here a lot. Let me show you around.”
I walk her past the black leather wrap-around sectional which sits surrounding a large eighty inch plasma TV. When we reach the small bar and kitchenette, she laughs.
“What’s so funny?” I ask as I lean an arm along the bar.
“This place is like some Rock-n-Roll hall of fame.”
I grin, nodding my head to the door leading into a hallway as I bring her to the sound booth. Obviously the recording studio is on the other side of the sound booth. We walk into the sound booth and everyone is there.
“Damn, nice of you guys to join us. Can we just listen to this and get the hell out of here? I have plans tonight,” Ethen says, giving me a pointed look.
“Don’t be an asshole,” I growl at him.
“Don’t leave me hanging for forty five minutes,” Ethen growls back, standing up. I’d kick his ass in a heartbeat, so I’m not sure where he’s getting the balls to come at me like this.
“Both of you knock it the fuck off. Just listen to this and we are out of here. We all have shit we want to do,” Poppy says with both hands on her thin hips.
Our sound crew isn’t here, just the band, since we know how to work all the sound boards. Ralph hits a few buttons and our newest single fills the room. Once it starts, we all shut up and listen. Nothing else is as important as our band and no matter what is going on, this is what comes first. It’s our lives, our livelihood, our passion. The song starts with just me singing acapella and then the band jumps in and the beat picks up. It sounds pretty fucking good and I smile listening to it. It’s a great song about a couple who finds out they were never meant to be. The love and loss they endure in the relationship. Pretty kickass.
As it ends, we all look around at each other and smile. We know without even saying anything that it’s perfect. Nothing needs to be done to this song. “Holy shit.” I hear Brooklyn whisper behind me and I turn to look at her. She blushes and looks around at everyone and then locks her eyes on me. “That was amazing.”
“I agree with Brooklyn, that sound is fucking great,” Ralph says.
Everyone starts to talk about what they loved in the song, but I keep my focus on Brooklyn. We have millions of fans, all over the world. Yet, for some reason I will never understand, knowing that Brooklyn likes this song, makes me proud. It may even make me more proud than when we step off stage. “You really like it?” I ask her.
She wraps her arms around herself and nods her head. “I love it. I didn’t realize that rock songs could hold as much meaning as a country song.”
Everyone gasps as we eye each other. Ethen shakes his head, while Ralph runs his hand through his thick hair and Nate looks at Poppy with wide eyes. Then we all stare directly at her as she blushes. “You listen to country music?” I ask, totally blown away. I mean I know she is shy and that she is the total opposite of anyone I’ve ever met, but country music? Christ, she might as well have kicked me in the nuts and ripped my heart out with her bare hands.
She looks around with wide eyes and backs up a little, bumping into the wall. “Umm, yes.”
“Fuck,” Nate says.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” Ralph moans.
“You might as well kill me,” Ethen says.
I simply grab my chest and shake my head.
“Guys, shut the fuck up. Just because she has the worst taste in music, doesn’t make her a bad person,” Poppy says, walking over and wrapping her arm around Brooklyn’s shoulders.
“No, it doesn’t make her a bad person,” I say. “Just deaf.”
We all laugh and she blushes shaking her head. I’m not trying to embarrass her, I’m just shocked I guess. I mean she’s standing in the sound booth of a rock band for fuck sake.
She straightens her back and puts her hands on her hips. “You know why I listen to country music? I listen to it because I can understand all the words, the songs have meaning and a lot of them are songs about love. It just makes me happy.”
“Brooklyn, have you ever listened to our music. Aside from what you heard last night and just now?” I ask.
“I’ve heard a song or two before on the radio,” she replies.
I’m not sure if I like the idea that I can introduce her to our music or upset that she thinks country music is better. I decide to go with my first thought and grin at her. “Well, I guess I need to show you the light. Sex, drugs and rock and roll, baby.”
Everyone yells with approval and I turn around to the band and smile. “We are all good with the way this song sounds right?” They all agree it’s perfect and I nod my head turning back to Brooklyn. “Well, you ready to get out of here?”
“Actually, can you pick me up at Poppy’s in like an hour? I need to change,” she says and looks at Poppy who nods.
I move closer to her and lean my hand against the wall. I bend down so that she is the only one who can hear me. “Don’t ditch me because I made fun of your music. I’m only half kidding.”
She smiles and shakes her head. “It’s not that. I knew before your condescending comment that I wanted to go back and change.”
“Oh shit, you
can give attitude,” I say, laughing. She giggles and smiles proud of herself. This time I press my lips almost right to her ear. “I like that.” I back up and she searches my face. “Go, I’ll pick you up in an hour.” She leaves with Poppy and of course Ethen is all but running out right behind them. Nate, Ralph and I go back out to wait in the hangout. I grab each of us a beer and we sit down.
“Fitz, can I ask you something without you getting all pissed off and flying off the handle?” Nate asks.
“Shoot,” I say and kick my feet up on the coffee table.
“What are you doing?” he asks and I raise my eyebrows. “You know damn well what I mean.”
I know exactly what he means. What am I doing with Brooklyn? Thing is I don’t know how to answer it. Mainly because I don’t know what I’m doing. I know I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before. I’m attracted to her, she makes me want to get to know her and for her to know me. Everything about her intrigues me from her smile to her coconut scent. It’s so different of how I usually am around women. Normally, I don’t even want to know their name and here I am planning a romantic night with a woman who’s got a boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of her in my bed and screaming my name has me walking around with a hard on. It’s just I know she deserves more.
“Fitz?” Ralph says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“I’m just hanging out with her. I know she’s got a man back home. She mentioned last night she wants to see the city and since Nate and Poppy have plans, I’m stepping in.” It’s a lie, a complete and utter lie. Nate had no plans with Poppy until I suggested he take her to a romantic dinner. I wanted to have Brooklyn to myself and I knew Poppy would get in my way.
“You’re full of shit. Don’t do anything that either of you will regret. You have a name to protect and she’s got a boyfriend. A lot of people could get hurt here,” Nate says, knowing full well I planned his night.
“You think I don’t know that? I’m not going to do anything, no one is going to get hurt. Chill the fuck out,” I say, defensively.
“Well, I sure hope you know what you’re doing,” Nate says before getting up and answering his phone.
I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but I’ll never tell anyone that. As far as they know, I’ve got it all under control. They’ve always thought of me as the leader, even back when we were in high school. If I told them it was a good idea, they believed it. Now as the lead singer of Renegade, it’s still the same. If I tell them the opening act is worth giving a chance or a song needs changing or that the groupies aren’t worth it, they believe me. I’ve never once taken advantage of that, it’s always been my honest opinion. Although, I will give myself a pat on the back, because I’m usually right.
“Fitz, remember on the way home when I told you on the bus about finding someone? Is that what you’re thinking is going to happen with Brooklyn?” Ralph asks.
“Honestly Ralph, I’m not looking for happily ever after. I’m just looking for happily right now. I’m not going to do anything she or I regret. You all just need to relax. Go out and get laid,” I say and finish off my beer.
“Hey Fitz, you ready?” Nate asks as he hangs up the phone. “Poppy said they are ready and I’m not going to keep my girl waiting.”
I hop in Nate’s jeep with him, and on the ride over I call my car service and tell them to meet us over at Poppy’s. He shakes his head the whole time I’m on the phone, but I just pretend I don’t see it. I mean for Christ sake, he’s sleeping with our manager. Shit goes wrong with them and who knows what will happen with our band. I’m only trying to get to know Brooklyn better. He has no place to say shit to me.
We pull up at Poppy’s and she waits in the parking garage. “Brooklyn will be right down,” she says and kisses Nate through his open window. “Oh and Fitz.” I turn to look at her and she winks at me. “She looks fucking amazing.”
I chuckle and give her a half grin as she climbs into the passenger seat. Watching them pull away, I hear the elevator and turn to see if it’s Brooklyn. It is and holy shit, my jaw damn near hits the pavement of the parking garage. My heart thumps with each step she takes toward me. My mouth waters with the need to feel her lips pressed against mine. “Fuck, you’re breath taking.”
“If it’s too much I have another outfit upstairs.” She fidgets with the straps of her dark-green silky dress and runs her hands down her side. My eyes drop to the slit rising up her thigh showing off her tanned, long legs.
“It’s not too much,” I choke out. What is wrong with me? My hands shake as I pull her against me, unsure which is softer, her skin or the silk. I take a deep breath as my stubbled jaw rubs along the curly strands of her hair, which is up, giving me a clear view of her sexy shoulders. Her makeup is dark and deep, and I can’t stop fucking staring at her.
Pulling apart she looks over her shoulder. “Holy shit a limo?” She gasps and looks at me.
“It’s easier this way. Peering eyes can’t see through the darkened windows,” I say as I tap my pointer finger along her nose. She scrunches her face and smiles as I help her into the limo.
I go to the driver and tell him all my plans. He takes notes and tells me he’s got it under control, but not before telling me what a huge fan he is. Thankfully, he doesn’t ask for a picture or autograph, which is why I always use this service. I’ve had some where the drivers were more excited to be with me than the people I was with. After telling him my thanks will reflect in his tip, I get in with Brooklyn.
“Fitz, this is all so much, too much,” she says, looking around.
I move to sit next to her and rest my arm on the seat behind her. “It’s not too much, I often travel like this. I should let you know that I do it for a reason though.” She looks at me with big eyes and I laugh. “No, not for sex. Although if that’s what you want…” I raise my eyebrows and she nervously drops her head and shakes it. I lift her chin and lie with a smile on my face. “I’m kidding.” She’s so damn shy and I don’t know why, but I find it so fucking sexy. If this was any other girl, I’d have the limo taking her back already. “I do it because this way fans don’t know it’s me. I can at least get to where I’m going without a crowd or the paparazzi all over me.”
She chews on that goddamn red bottom lip and fuck I want to lean over and suck it into my mouth. She doesn’t even realize something she does all the time is turning me on. She releases her lip and looks at me. “So there will be crowds and paparazzi when we get out of the limo?”
“Well, no, not right away. It will take someone to notice me, but I can’t lie, it may happen,” I say, resting my hand on her bare shoulder.
“What if people think we are together? Or what if they take a photo of us together?” she questions, full of nerves.
“Don’t worry so much. I have a big night planned and the last thing I want is for you to be nervous. There’s nothing to worry about. Most of the time we’ll be in the limo and when we aren’t, I’ve got that covered too.” I take a chance and rest my hand on her knee, feeling her tense momentarily. I tighten my grip when she eases and I smile. “Can you trust me and just relax?”
She takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly and nods her head. “I’ll try,” she says, glancing out the window. “Where are we going?”
“Well Brooklyn, I figured since your man won’t call you by the beautiful name you have, that I’d show you the difference,” I say and give her a wink.
“Show me the difference?” she asks, generally confused.
“Between Brooklyn the beautiful, sexy woman and Brooklyn the borough.”
She looks at me with wide eyes and I smile.
“This bridge we are coming up to, is the Brooklyn Bridge. Now if you ask me, there is no competition between you and this bridge.” I pull her a bit closer, keeping my arm around her.
“This is very sweet Fitz. I have always wondered what it would look like,” she says, keeping her focus outside.
After driving through Brooklyn and rece
iving more smiles than I’ve seen from her yet, I feel like this idea of mine might not suck. I’m going to take her by a few of the famous spots, Central Park, Times Square, Rockefeller Center, and lastly the Empire State Building. Now that is where this night will begin.
She has long pulled away from me and even in her sexy dress she jumps from seat to seat taking in everything I point out along the way. She’s amazed by pretty much everything, from the homeless to the traffic jams. I find it endearing that these little things, things most of us find annoying, are so intriguing to her. I want to get out and walk around, let her feel the energy and the excitement, but I know if we do the rest of my plan will turn to shit. The fans will follow and the peaceful night I’m hoping for will be shot to hell.
Brooklyn doesn’t seemed bothered by the fact we are looking at the city through tinted windows, in fact when it gets dark and all the lights come the excitement on her face is priceless. “Fitz, this city is just alluring at night. Thank you for this, it is more than I could ever have imagined.”
If only she had my imagination. “Cheapest date I’ve ever had,” I chuckle.
She folds her arms and an expression I’ve never seen her make crosses her face. I don’t know if she is hurt or pissed. “Geez, thanks.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. Shit, I just meant that I hardly spent any money and you are more excited than most of the dates I go on,” I say, trying to explain myself.
“Fitz, this isn’t a date,” she says and turns her back to me.
What the hell is wrong with me? Everything I say or do seems to be the wrong thing. It’s like I’m off my game or maybe it’s not that at all. Maybe she’s just so far out of my league that my game would only disgust her. I roll my eyes at myself. I don’t even know what the fuck I’m thinking anymore.
“Brooklyn, I know this isn’t a date. I was just saying my dates, not meaning this is a date. Christ,” I say tugging my own hair. I close my eyes for a second to try to collect my thoughts and when I open them, she is staring at me. “I wasn’t implying this was a date. I just meant usually when I go out, with anyone, I spend a hell of a lot of money and they aren’t nearly as appreciative as you.” We pull up to the Empire State Building and the driver parks as close as possible. “I’d like to finish this evening with one last surprise, if you’d allow me.”
Renegade Page 6
