We are on the final stretch of the tour and I’ll admit I’m sad. I don’t want it to end. I’ve never had so much fun, felt more alive or more loved than I have these past few weeks. I’ve grown even closer to each of these amazing people with each passing day, especially Fitz. I wasn’t sure when this whole thing started, with me losing my job and trying something so completely different, how it would go. This has proven to me that every risk has its reward and I will never again question that.
Fitz and I made the tabloids, paper, and countless radio shows when the news got out we were a couple. It blew my mind how invested they were with wanting to know everything about our relationship, but that just proves how popular he his. I can’t go anywhere now without someone looking to take my photo, asking if I’m leaving Fitz or if we are getting married. I just laugh and ignore them. Fitz, of course, has hired a body guard for me that is with me anytime he isn’t. At first I protested, but a few nights ago a groupie tried to jump me and I was never so thankful to have someone between us.
My bank account is dwindling quickly and that is the only thing that has me worried. I need to figure out what the hell I’m going to do. Unfortunately, I used my final paycheck and spent it all on clothes. I know I shouldn’t have, but the clothes I had just don’t exactly reflect who I am anymore. I love who I am now and these clothes show that. Fitz wanted to give me money, but I refused. I love that he wants to do these things for me, but I’m not really good with accepting help. Even if it is from the man I love.
A smile hits my lips the second the thought enters my mind. When he told me he loved me the first time, it was like my entire world changed. I was looking into his blue eyes and I’d never seen something so truthful and honest in all my life. I knew at that very moment, no one had ever loved me, not like Fitz. I didn’t say it back because he said it though, I said it back because it’s real. I love him more than I’ve ever loved another person, more than I’ve ever loved anything. He changed me, made me realize who I was meant to be and that person is who I am now.
“Brooklyn?” Poppy yells, knocking on our door. Thankfully, we’ve spent the last few days in a hotel, because I needed a bed and full sized bathroom.
Snapping out of my thoughts, I unlock the door and she comes in. “What’s up?”
“Did I let you borrow my gold shoes? I can’t fucking find them,” she says, heading into the bedroom.
I follow behind and pull them out of the closet, handing them to her. “Christ, what is wrong with you lately? It’s like you can’t remember your head from your ass.” She looks at me all expression leaving her face and sits down on the bed. I sit next to her, obviously concerned now and wrap my arm around her. “What’s wrong?”
She covers her face and starts to cry. It’s foreign to me, I’ve never seen Poppy cry or even remotely sad before. She’s always been grab life and run with it. I just let her cry it out and when she wipes her eyes, she looks up at me, makeup running down her face. “I think I’m pregnant.” My eyes nearly pop out of my head and my mouth drops open. I’m stunned speechless. She shakes her head and stands up. “Thanks, that’s the exact reaction I was going for,” she whispers and starts to walk away.
“Hey, wait,” I yell and gently grab her by the arm.
She turns her head and gives me a meek smile. “Nate’s going to leave me.”
I pull her into a hug and she once again starts to cry. “Poppy, there is no way Nate is going to leave you if you’re pregnant. The way he looks at you, the way he holds you, he adores you.” I pull back a little so she can see my face. “He loves you Poppy.”
She shakes her head and wipes her eyes. “I know he loves me Brooklyn, that’s not it.” She walks out into the living room and I follow. Sitting down on the couch she blows out a breath. “He doesn’t want kids, ever.”
I give her a confused look and sit next to her. “How do you know that?”
“Christ Brooklyn, we’ve talked about it. He doesn’t want them. He lives the rock star life and kids get in the way of that,” she yells.
“I don’t think he’s said that,” I say, raising my eyebrows.
She closes her eyes and a tear falls. “He had a horrible childhood and he doesn’t want to bring kids into this world. He thinks he’ll turn into his parents and fuck, I’m afraid he might.”
I rest my head on her shoulder and hold her hand. “I’m never the one to say this, but you’re worrying too much.” She looks over at me and we both laugh. “If you are pregnant, I think Nate will be an amazing father.”
“I’ll be a shitty mom. I mean what could I possibly teach a child? How to drink its weight in alcohol?” she asks and I need to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
“Knock it off. Look how amazing you’ve been with me, that’s how fabulous you’ll be with a baby. Did you take a test yet?” I ask, getting up to grab her some tissues.
“No, I’m late.” She takes the tissues from me blotting each eye.
“Well, I guess we need to clean you up and run to the store.”
“I can’t go to the store, the guys will be back from sound check soon and once they are I need to be around to keep shit going,” she says, going into the bathroom to clean herself up.
I go into the bedroom and change my clothes, grab my purse and walk over to the bathroom. “Fine, I’ll go for you, but you better believe you are taking it as soon as I get back. I don’t give a shit if the guys are here or not.”
She gives me a huge hug and thanks me over and over, before we both walk out of the room. My body guard, Will, is standing in the hallway and I smile at him. “Going somewhere Miss Adler?”
“I need to go to the drug store, I don’t think it’s necessary to tag along,” I say, suddenly realizing that I can’t let anyone see me buying the test. I don’t want to explain Poppy’s situation before she talks to Nate about it.
“It’s necessary, come on,” he says, following me down the hallway.
There is a car waiting out front and I get in the back, Will climbing in the front. I tell the driver to find the closest drug store and he pulls away. My thoughts drift back to Poppy. She’s so scared and that is not like her, but I think until she takes this test she needs to try to relax. Maybe she’s late because of stress or something. I start to wonder what she would do if she really is pregnant. Would she still be able to manage the band? Would she still tour with them or would she stay home with the baby? It definitely is a lot to think about and changes both her and Nate’s world.
The car stopping breaks my thoughts and I see we are here. Will opens my door and I thank him and walk inside. I look around until I see the aisle that would have the pregnancy tests. I grab a bunch of different ones and Will looks at me with wide eyes.
“It’s for a friend,” I say.
“No need to explain anything to me Miss Adler,” he says, folding his arms.
Fuck, he definitely thinks these are for me. I rush to the register and drop them all down, now fearful that someone else will think the same thing. As the cashier is ringing up the tests, I reach into my purse and put my sunglasses on. She tells me the total and I pay with cash, before thanking her and rushing out of there.
The ride back is fast, but I can’t help but worry that now Will thinks I’m the one taking these tests. That’s why Poppy didn’t want to go, she knew someone would see her and ask questions, damn it. We pull up to the hotel and Will opens my door and follows me back up to my room. I have no idea if the guys are back yet and I’m really hoping they aren’t considering I have a bag full of pregnancy tests. Opening the door, I poke my head in looking around. I don’t see any sign of Fitz, so I rush into the bedroom and hide the tests under the bed.
I go back out into the living room, grab my phone and call Poppy. “Hey,” she answers.
“Hey, get over here. I bought you a bunch of tests, which by the way, Will thinks are for me,” I say. She starts laughing and I shake my head. “It’s not funny, bitch.”
“It’s hy
sterical, but I can’t come take them now. The guys will be back here in a few minutes and I don’t want to do it with Nate around. We can do it tomorrow before we leave,” she says.
“Glad I rushed out for you. Fine, but you better bet your ass you’ll be here pissing on these in the morning.” Before she can reply, Fitz walks in the door. “Alright, I’ll see you later.”
Fitz, leans down and presses his lips to mine. He’s sweaty from sound check, but it makes me just want him more. “Hey, baby.”
“Hi. How was sound check?” I ask as he opens a water, guzzling half of it down.
“Good.” He sits next to me and I lay my head on his shoulder. “I can’t believe this is our final show,” he says and looks down at me. “You’re coming back to New York with me right?”
This has been an ongoing conversation and I don’t know what to do. I mean I want to go to New York with him, but I’m paying for a house I’m never in anymore. An idea hit me a while back I just wasn’t a hundred percent sure. However looking into his eyes seeing the reflection of love they show I know I’m doing the right thing. I smile at him, sitting up and twisting to look at him. “You know, California just isn’t doing it for me anymore,” I start and a huge smile takes over his face. “So, what do you think of this. I sell my house and get a place in New York.”
He climbs on top of me, forcing me to lay down. Grinning down at me he presses a sweet kiss to my lips. “I like the idea of you selling your house, but I don’t like the idea of you getting your own place. Move in with me.”
“Oh Fitz, it’s such an enticing offer, but I don’t know. We’ve only officially been together for almost two months,” I say, reaching my hand up and tracing his lips.
He sucks my finger into his mouth and when I let out a sigh, he nips it. I pull it out of his mouth and he shakes his head. “Brooklyn, we may only have put a label on us two months ago, but I’ve been yours since the second I saw you. I’m not going anywhere that is a promise I will always keep.”
My heart beat speeds up with just the possibility of living together. I’m not sure it’s a good idea, but nothing I’ve done in the last few months has been and look where I’m at now. I shrug my shoulders and smile. “I guess I need to contact a realtor.”
“Don’t fuck with me, Brooklyn. My heart can’t take it.” He brushes his lips against mine and I close my eyes. “You’ll move in with me?”
I slowly open my eyes and I respond with my heart. “Yes.”
He grabs ahold of me and stands up, holding me close. My legs wrap around his waist and he squeezes my ass and crashes his mouth to mine. I run my hands into his hair and he swallows down my moans. Breaking the kiss he rests his forehead on mine. “God, I fucking love you. I promise you, you will never regret this.”
I believe him.
**
The final concert is over, the last party has been had and I am sitting in the living room waiting for Poppy to come these this tests before the guys wake up. It’s early as hell and I’m exhausted from drinking, dancing and some hot hotel sex last night. Fitz made me come over and over telling me that it was just the beginning of what it will be like when I move in with him.
A light tap on the door has me jumping up. I open it and Poppy sneaks in, wearing one of Nate’s t-shirts. “We need to hurry. Nate is a light sleeper,” she says, rushing to the bathroom.
I pull out the bag from under the couch, bringing it into the bathroom and dump all the tests out. Hoping we get this done before Fitz notices I’ve left the bed. “I hope you have a full bladder because you need to pee on all of these,” I say with a light giggle.
I turn to walk out and she grabs my arm. “Where the fuck are you going?”
“I’m going to wait in the living room until you are done.”
“No, you can’t leave. Please, just lock the door and stay.” I raise my eyebrows and she blows out a breath. “Please Brooklyn. I’m scared.”
I hug her close and run my hand down her hair. “I won’t go anywhere.”
She pees on all the tests and it looks like a damn lab with all of them lined up on the sink. She is pacing and chewing on her nails. “How much longer?”
I look at my phone and up at her. “It’s only been a minute, we have two more.”
“Holy fuck. This is the longest three minutes of my life,” she says, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, chewing her fingernails while her knee bounces up and down.
I sit on the closed toilet lid and hold her hand. “I know, but I’m right here with you.”
Neither of us say another word and she wasn’t kidding three minutes this morning feels like hours. I never realized how long time seems, but when you are waiting to see if your life will forever change, it feels like a lifetime.
I look at my phone and she blows out a breath. “It’s time?” I nod my head and we both stand up, but I don’t let go of her hand. She squeezes it tight as we look down. “Oh my God,” she whispers and looks at me.
I smile and pull her in for a hug. “Congratulations.” Every test reads a positive result. My best friend is going to be a mom.
“I’m so scared, Brooklyn,” she says, just as I feel her tears on my bare shoulder.
“Poppy, it’s going to be amazing. Nate is going to be so excited and just think of all the support you’ll get from Aunt Brooklyn and all her uncles.” I mean it too. I really think Nate is going to be happy about it. It might be a shock, well no it will definitely be a shock, but I think he’ll be excited after the shock wears off. Plus, I know the rest of us will be there for them every step of the way.
She pulls away from me and starts gathering up all the tests, throwing them back in the bag. “I’m not ready. I’m not ready to be a mom, to deal with the responsibilities, to end my lifestyle.”
“Poppy, you just need to take some time to wrap your head around it all. Go back to your room, have a heart to heart with Nate. Once he knows, you’ll be able to start to get your head around it,” I say, taking the bag from her.
“What? No. No way. I’m not ready to tell Nate. I can’t, I won’t. Not yet. These tests aren’t always right, there are plenty of defective ones. You hear it all the time,” she says, shaking her head the entire time, her blonde hair falling out of her ponytail.
My heart breaks for her. She doesn’t sound or look like the Poppy I know. She looks scared, dejected and overwhelmed. “Poppy, I promise it’s going to all work out. Just think of it, you and Nate are going to have a baby. The best parts of both of you will come together and you’ll have the most perfect child. One that will be surrounded by so much love. It’s a blessing Poppy.”
She wipes her eyes and gives me a forced smile. “I hope so Brooklyn, because you make it sound so good.”
She takes the bag from me and tells me she will throw it away in the hallway trash, but she needs to get back to her room. I hug her again and tell her to talk to Nate. She doesn’t say she will, but I’m hopeful once she gets back she will tell him. I climb back into bed, my mind racing with thoughts.
I must have fallen asleep because I am woken up by Fitz’s hot mouth on my pussy. “Mmm,” I moan, pressing against his tongue.
He holds down my thighs and lets his talented tongue lash out against my sensitive skin. Arching my back, I grab ahold of the comforter, loving the feeling he is inflicting on me. He’s relentless, never breaking his connection bringing me closer and closer to orgasm. The overwhelming need to watch him takes over and I prop myself up on my elbows and the sight before me is so erotic I let out a loud moan.
Fitz lifts his head slightly and I nearly combust when I see my arousal glistening on his mouth. The heat in his eyes reflects my own. “Fuck baby, you want to watch?” I bite my lip and nod. He sits up and wipes his mouth with his hand. “Sit up and rest your back against the head board,” he demands and I can’t do it fast enough. “Good, now take off that nighty because I want you naked.” As I pull it off, he climbs off the bed. I drop it onto the floor and watch as he gra
bs his cell phone. He hands it to me and gets back onto the bed. “Video tape it.”
The thought of recording him eating my pussy is so fucking hot. The wetness runs down to my ass with just the idea of watching this again and again. He gets back between my legs and I’m so turned on I need him to make me come in order to feel relief. “Fitz, tell me when,” I moan out when he drags a finger between my wet folds.
“Now baby. Just hit record,” he says, locking our eyes as he sucks his finger into his mouth. I hit record and keep the camera trained on him. “I’m going to eat this soft, wet pussy until you scream my name.”
My breathing is heavy and I simply nod my head as he dips his to once again release his talented mouth on me. The second his tongue makes contact I can’t help but moan. “Oh God, yes.”
“Fuck, you taste so good. I can’t get enough. Let me hear you baby, let me hear how good it feels,” he says, glancing up at me.
He immediately gets back to his assault and I’m recording every second of it. His head bobbing, his soft moans and his hands gripping my thighs. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed and what makes it more is knowing I’m recording. I keep the phone trained on him as I drop my head back slightly, but not enough to take my eyes off of what is going on. He sucks on my clit and I nearly explode. “Oh fuck. It feels so good, I’m so close,” I shout.
I feel him moan against me and the vibrations bring me even closer. He licks at my clit, making it difficult to hold still as I moan out over and over. I feel it happening, my orgasm is at the brink of tearing through me. As if he knows this, he sucks my clit into his mouth and I scream his name. He continues to lick at me, drinking down everything I have to give.
When I’m done he kisses a path up my stomach before lifting his head to look at me, phone still recording. “Fuck Brooklyn, I love you.” He grabs the phone from me, stops the recording and tosses it on the bed. He kisses me and I taste myself. “Do you have any idea how fucking hot it was knowing you were recording?”
Renegade Page 20
