by CN Thornton
Before I could ask him what we were doing in here, he quickly pushed me up against the wall, pinning my hands above me with one of his. Then his lips were on mine, hungrily.
"You have no idea how much I have wanted to do this," he rushed out between kisses.
Then his lips were on my neck. A gasp slipped through my lips as he groped my butt with his free hand and pressed me to himself. I could feel him hardening through his trousers.
Suddenly he dropped my hands and took a step back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. The look he had in his eyes was full of wanton. I could still see his erection through his trousers, and I was shocked his massiveness hadn't burst through the fabric yet.
I could feel my nether regions moistening as a lustful ache grew deep inside my core. I knew what would curb the ever-growing ache, and soon I would get it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
As my ladies began undressing me, I could feel my body trembling. I didn't even try to hide it. I was terrified, and getting through this night—this officiating ceremony—was all I cared about.
"Don't worry about it, Emmaline. The lights are normally dimmed and the privacy curtains for the four-poster bed will be pulled," Lady Moana said as I stepped down into the bath.
My ladies began scrubbing my body with something Moana explained had an aphrodisiac affect. After I was rinsed off and dried, they dressed me in a nightgown.
"Don't be tense. If you are tense it will hurt," Moana said as she steered me to my vanity and sat me down to French-braid my hair.
"I'm minutes away from having sex with my husband while a bunch of people watch me—tense is going to happen, Moana."
"I can give you a tonic to help you relax. It is a remedy that has been given to all the ladies of court during their officiating."
I looked at her like she was crazy. "You mean I should basically drug myself?"
Moana's eyes widened as she hastily shook her head. "No, Emmaline, that is not what I implied. I simply mean to suggest a tonic to take the edge off, to make you less nervous."
A large part of me wanted the tonic more than anything, and I wouldn't have hesitated if I didn't love Theodore like I did. But I did love him, and I wanted our first time making love together to be... I wanted to be one-hundred-percent myself, so I declined her offer.
By a quarter till nine, I was being escorted by Moana—who would undress me one last time for the night—next door to Theodore's—my husband's—apartment. After I entered, I nearly stumbled over my own feet when I saw how many people were present. From one quick sweep of the room, I counted at least twelve heads—one of them my mother.
Then Theodore was at my side. He took my hand in his and squeezed it gently before leading me into his bedchamber. The many footsteps behind us told me that the crowd followed.
Moana unbuttoned my nightgown and then I was standing before everyone bare skinned. I could feel the eyes of the people I knew and didn't know staring at my body. My cheeks flushed, and my heart began to palpitate uncomfortably. The room began to spin and for a moment I felt I might faint, but then Theodore took my hand and led me over to the bed.
Once we lay side by side, the sheer black curtains were drawn around us and the lights dimmed. And as I looked at the crowd in the room, I could barely see them. They were merely silhouettes.
Then Theodore's hand was on my chin, turning me to him, and he pressed his lips to mine.
"They don't exist right now. It's just you and I," he said and then pressed our lips together again.
Less than a second was all it took for him to ignite a burning desire deep in my loins, and then I was kissing him back hungrily. Heatedly.
Our breath began to come out in short gasps, and I could feel every inch of my body tingling as if a live wire ran through my veins.
Then Theodore rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him in a straddle. The tips of his fingers began exploring my body, grazing gently from my neck down across my chest before coming to a halt on either side of my hips. While his fingers rested, his eyes began to roam my body.
"You are beautiful," he said in a husky voice, then pulled me against his body and pressed his lips to mine once more.
In one swift movement, he flipped me on my back and moved to hover between my legs. My heart began racing as I knew what was coming next. I wanted him, every single inch of him, but he had other plans.
His lips found the space just behind my ear and kissed it before slowly making a path down my neck. Every kiss sent a chill through my body and when he kissed my collarbone, I felt my nipples harden.
As if they had called him, he brought his lips down to one and began to suck tenderly, tugging slightly here and there. A moan slipped between my lips that I quickly clenched my jaw against out of embarrassment. Then his lips moved to the other side and did the same.
When his lips were on mine again, I could feel his massive erection pressed against my inner thigh, and in response my nether region dampened.
"Theodore," I breathed, pressing my hips up in a plea.
He positioned his member against my folds and in one thrust, he entered me. My back arched off the bed and I let out a gasp as his entire length stretched me.
He paused, his eyes on me, and pressed his lips to my forehead. "Are you hurt?" he asked.
Was I hurt? No. Was I uncomfortable and sensitive from being stretched for the first time? Yes. But I shook my head, not wanting to ruin this between us.
And then his lips were back on mine after he had promised to be gentle, and he began to slowly move inside me, his large member stroking every inch it could find.
The intensity of the sex was overwhelming—good, but overwhelming—and it was hard to fully relax, even after my husband had repeatedly told me he would be gentle—and he was.
I did my best to center myself, to try and relax a little more. I focused on the sounds of Theodore's grunts as he continuously moved inside me. It was a pleasing sound that caused my insides to flutter happily.
Then I relaxed. I let out a deep breath and wrapped my arms tightly around him, bringing him even closer to me—as if that was even possible. He must have sensed my want because his strokes began to speed up, growing deeper and stronger with each passing moment.
A feeling of gratification blossomed heavily deep inside me and I let out a moan, as if it would bring me relief, when the gratification threatened to overtake me, but it did nothing more than cause a chain reaction as another slipped from between my lips, and another. Soon the room was filled with nothing but the sounds of love.
"I'm about to cum," Theodore said breathlessly into my ear between grunts.
My eyes snapped open as I looked at him. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't allow him to cum inside me. That led to pregnancy, and I wasn't ready to be a mother.
"Theodore," I said in a shaky voice. "Please, not yet. I'm not ready to be a mother," I rushed out as I tried to push him away.
His eyes opened and looked deeply into my own as he continued moving inside me. "It's going to be okay," was all he said before he closed his eyes and continued.
I bit my lip, fighting back the tears as I let my body fall limp. I couldn't do this—not yet! When he'd said we were to have sex to officiate the marriage, I hadn't thought he meant we were going to be trying for a baby.
His grunting and moaning continued, and then I felt him tense up before his body shuddered. He let out a long groan and then stilled inside me. Sighing, he pulled out of me and flopped onto his back, breathing quickly.
The room came alive as the people on the other side of the privacy curtain began talking and their footsteps faded from the chambers. The second the door closed behind the last one, I brought my hands to my face and let the tears fall.
"I don't want to be a mother," I whispered as tears coated my words.
I felt Theodore's arm around me as he attempted to pull me against him. I pushed him away, slid out of the bed and retrieved my gown.
"Em
maline, relax," Theodore began as he came over to my side while I buttoned up my nightgown.
"RELAX!" I shouted at him, tears streaming down my face. "I told you I wasn't ready to be a mother!"
"And you honestly think I'm ready to be a father?" His voice was clipped and severe.
"Then why did you do it?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of myself. "Why did you risk it?"
Theodore ran his hand along his face, his expression hardening. "I'm the next king of Linacre. I have many responsibilities, and one of them is procuring an heir as soon as possible," he replied in his hardened tone. "And you, being my wife, the next queen of Linacre, must be ready to produce them."
I bit my lip, forcing back everything I wanted to say. I didn't want to be a damn queen. I didn't want to be forced to produce heirs. I didn't want this life.
I just wished Theodore and I were two normal people in a normal relationship in some other country... But that was too much to ask.
Without saying a word, I curtsied to him, turned and left. When I entered my room, I went straight to my bed and crawled up in the center, pulling my blankets around me.
I wanted to go home... No, my home wasn't even a home to begin with—it was Bash's presence that had made it home. Sebastian! I scrambled out of bed and started for my door. Bash was here—I could go to Bash.
When I entered his apartment, I was blown back by loud music. I quickly closed the door behind me and followed the sound into his sitting room, where Bash was sitting upside down with his nose deep in a Linacrean study book. I let out a sigh of relief at the sight of him. My best friend, my family, my home was here in Linacre with me.
"Em!" he exclaimed, closing the book and gathering himself to his feet. "How are you? How was the..." His voice trailed off as he gave me a suggestive look.
I rolled my eyes and pulled him into a hug. "I'm glad to be able to do this again." I sighed. "You have no idea how many times I wanted nothing more than to have you here with me. You are my safety."
Bash's arms secured around me and the homey feeling washed over me, cleansing out the stress of the evening that had previously occupied my mind.
Bash held me at arm's length and searched my face, and a worried expression quickly appeared. "Are you okay? You know you can tell me anything," he said.
I bit my lip. "I'm just stressing out, that's all."
"Why?" he asked as we moved to sit down.
I ran my fingers over my hair as I stared at my feet. "The responsibilities, Bash, of being Queen... and what is expected of me now before anything has happened." I glanced up at him from under my lashes.
"What responsibilities?"
"Having children. Tonight... he, er..."
Bash nodded his head knowingly. He understood without me having to finish my sentence.
"I cannot be a mother," I said matter-of-factly.
"Why?"
I scoffed. "Do you know the woman I was raised by? Terrible example of what a mother is supposed to be. So how can I be a good mother when all I had to learn from was her?" I said in a panicked frenzy.
"I can understand you being scared, but you really have no reason to worry." He took my hands into his and cradled them. "You may have had a mother who was a terrible example of what a mother should be, but that right there is one of the best lessons. Now you know how not to be and what mistakes not to make."
"What do you mean?"
"Learn from other people's mistakes." He brushed his thumb over my knuckles and smiled. "No one wants to be forced into motherhood, but I have no doubt you will be nothing short of amazing."
I bit my lip. Can I do this? Can I be a mother?
I closed my eyes and a picture swam through my mind. I was chasing after a little boy with beautiful brown hair and the biggest, most beautiful chocolate-brown eyes. His smile was so infectious, his laughter music to my ears.
I opened my eyes and the picture faded, and I was back in the sitting room with Bash by my side.
"You worry too much, you know that?" He smirked.
I did worry, a lot. I also happened to overthink things, which brought me the majority of my stress, plus constantly questioning people's motives—all because of my mother.
I let out a sigh and rose to my feet. It was time for me to go to bed. I gave Bash another hug and then left him to go back to my room. The second I climbed up into my bed, my mind felt heavy with sleep. I didn't fight it, just succumbed to my land of dreams.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
It was around noon the next day when I decided to go and apologize to Theodore about how I reacted last night. I couldn't blame him for doing his job. Especially when I knew what the consequences could be.
I shivered at the memory of us getting flogged by the king. I had never looked at my back in the mirror, but I knew from the pain that I had scars there that would never go away.
And yet my heart warmed dramatically as I remembered Theodore stepping in to take half of my lashings. That was the moment I knew that he truly did love me.
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. I couldn't believe it had taken me so long to realize it.
Theodore wasn't in his room, which was the first place I looked, so I decided to go check the office on the main floor. This was where he had been spending a lot of his time before the wedding.
The reasons were unknown to me though, because Theodore never talked to me about his work. He wasn't allowed to confide in me about much of anything until after I was crowned Queen of Linacre alongside him—but he had mentioned there’d been unrest in the country due to my inevitably becoming Queen.
As I came down the corridor where the office was, I heard voices... Theodore's voice—and the other was light, so I couldn't place its owner.
"There have been reports of several more riots breaking out across the country. Two of them ended with fires that have burned down entire villages. The people are very unsettled about Emmaline being the future queen of Linacre."
I peered through the crack in the door and saw Theodore sitting in a chair hunched over the large desk, his back to me. A woman stood behind him with her hands on his shoulders—his mother.
I saw her hands give his shoulders a gentle squeeze. "The people were unsettled when your father and I were about to ascend the throne. It's normal. People fear change, especially when they are content."
Theodore reached up to his shoulder and grasped his mother’s hand. "This is different, Mother. They fear her not because she is change, but because of her upbringing. They don't see her as a proper Linacrean princess. She is an American in their eyes."
The queen's shoulders rose and fell as she took a deep breath and swiftly dispelled it.
"What do you plan to do?" she asked him.
He let out a sigh and allowed his head to fall back as he rubbed his eyes. "Everything I can to protect my wife."
"Yes?" she pressed, apparently wanting to hear more.
"We don't have many guards here at the castle, so I want to pull at least one hundred back from the war in Tubal, Slobakia and post them here in the courts."
"Have you spoken to your father about this?"
Theodore shook his head. "Of course not. You and I both know he wouldn't even consider it. He feels the same way you do about all of this. He thinks they are just unsettled about the changes and will ease after a while."
"What is your contingency plan?"
Theodore spun the chair around so I could see him. Stretching back into the chair, he rubbed his eyes again—which were red-rimmed, as if he hadn't slept at all—and ran his hand down his face. "I want to have the safe rooms operational and safety drills practiced three times a week."
The queen nodded her head. "That much can be done." She began scribbling something down on a piece of parchment paper. "I will personally see to it that Emmaline knows exactly where all the entrances to the safe rooms are located, and I will begin her drills today."
I stood up straight just as the Queen kissed her son and strode off
down the hall towards the women's room—it was the closest room to the office that I was currently allowed to access and I didn't want them to know I had eavesdropped on their entire conversation. Especially since I was not yet authorized to know about this kind of stuff.
I sat down in the corner and began aimlessly plucking keys on the piano. I knew how to play a bit, but I had too much on my mind.
Theodore thinks I am in danger and he wants to do everything he can to protect me. My main worry was that this danger wouldn't end, and I would spend the rest of my life always looking over my shoulder in fear that somehow the unruly people outside the courts would find their way in and attack me.
And what about our future children... Part of being a parent was protecting your kids from harm, right? The thought of raising them in this mess was troublesome. If the people didn't approve of me, there was no way they would approve of any child Theodore and I might have, right?
I let out a heavy sigh and slammed my hands on the keys, causing a ruckus. Then I lowered my head to rest on my arms, allowing my body to slouch despite the increased pain of the corset.
"Princesses do not slouch," I heard the queen speak.
I quickly snapped up, my back rod straight. Gathering myself to my feet, I quickly sank into a respectful curtsy. "Your Majesty."
"Walk with me," she said as she beckoned me to her side.
I took a breath and she led me to the far corner of the women's room, stopping at a blank stretch of wall flanked by two hanging candelabras. A potted plant was the only thing sitting in that corner.
"Why are we here?" I asked appropriately. I had easily figured that this was one of the safe-room entrances, but I couldn't let her know I knew that.
"Whenever rebels get riled up, we like the court to practice safety drills, on the off chance the rebels find their way into the courts." She reached up and turned the first candelabra until it was upside down, then turned the other so it hung horizontally. Instantaneously, the blank stretch of wall sank back and then slid aside to reveal a passageway.
