“Mama, you would have never wanted me to become so dependent on a man. You would always tell me to learn from you, from what you had to go through.”
It wasn't that her mother didn't want her to find love, because she did, but she'd wanted a genuine love for her daughter, one where there wasn't compromise on her side only.
“I'll be doing it again if I allow myself to feel anything for Lucas.”
Well, the feeling part had happened already, now it was a case of killing whatever feelings there were. Once burned, twice shy, right?
“Ha, tell that to my foolish heart.”
Ruth did what she said she'd do, surrounding herself with as much work as she could get. There was an upside to being the wife of a gorgeous billionaire, and that was getting many more clients. Finishing Tally's nursery hadn't been as problematic as she'd initially thought; George no longer had the power to hurt her. It had merely been another job, and although she never did see him during that time, Ruth still had the feeling of closing that chapter of her life when she completed the project. In some way, it was all thanks to Lucas. He'd allowed her to get over the man she had loved more than anything by seeing that there was more to life than George Chazelle.
“Like my career.”
And Lucas, a quiet voice in her head whispered.
*****
Three months married. That's the longest I've ever gone without thinking about getting out of a relationship. Lucas had a tendency to get itchy in a relationship at the two-month mark, not able to commit to anyone for longer than that. His shortest relationship had lasted a week and the longest six months. They'd been the longest six months of his life, and the only reason why he'd stuck with her was out of pity. Sherry Carmichael had been an emotional wreck, a woman who couldn't pick her own clothing for fear of making the wrong choice. It had been hell being around her, always trying to reassure her that she was beautiful, valuable, and that he wasn't going to leave her.
“I was essentially blackmailed by her into sticking with the relationship way past its due date.”
The only way he'd finally gotten rid of her was signing her to a model agency, and as far as he knew, she was thriving. Turned out she just needed a significant confidence boost in the form of hundreds and thousands of people ogling her half-naked body. Go figure.
Lucas took out the one photograph he'd snuck out of the wedding album, one that had captured them standing at the altar moments before their first kiss. The intensity in his eyes had been unplanned, so had the powerful kiss they'd shared. Lucas had been disturbed by how unexpected and intense the kiss had been, a complete shock to his system. What had happened? This was supposed to be a cut and dry deal with no physical attachments!
“I'm not looking for any complications, but I just can't get it out of my head.”
Which was why he was avoiding her like the plague. Every time he looked at Ruth, he was reminded of that kiss and wanted to repeat it all over again. Lucas didn't understand what was going on with him. It wasn't like him to obsess over a kiss, and let alone with a woman he had no intention of pursuing. Ruth was more of a dependable friend, a woman he could be himself around. Well, maybe not lately as he was avoiding her, but he still regarded her as a good friend.
“It was that kiss that changed things between us.”
Lucas had been partly ashamed by his reaction to the kiss, hardly paying attention to what Ruth might be thinking.
“I promised to respect her and treat her like my wife, but I've done nothing but ignore her. What kind of man am I?”
One who was scared of what might happen if he did spend too much time with her. There was something about Ruth that made him slightly insecure about his ability to handle his feelings around her.
“She's not exactly my type, but I've been known to step out of my comfort zone and date women who don't fit the mold.”
But that had usually been done to spite his family. They had a way of interfering in his life, especially his love life, and dating a girl who didn't fit their standards had been an amusing hobby of his. He grimaced.
“Maybe it wasn't fair to the girl, I haven't thought about that until now.”
What kind of man did it make him when he only dated a girl to spite his family? Those girls hadn't deserved to be used in such a way, and for the first time in his life Lucas felt ashamed about it. Having Ruth in his life was affecting his thoughts even if he was hardly talking to her. The jury was still out if her influence would bring him good or bad, but he was certainly more aware of his actions than ever before.
“I always assumed that I was a good person, but since meeting Ruth I see quite a few flaws in my character. I can't say that I'm all that pleased about it.”
Lucas prided himself on being the one person in his family who was different, more approachable, less snooty, but he may just be the stereotype Ruth had jokingly spoken of a few months ago. His desk phone rang, startling him out of his thoughts. He answered it, pressing down on a worn button. I should probably get a new phone, but this one has history.
“Yes, Kelsey?”
“Sir, your father is here to see you.”
His father? “Send him in, Kelsey. Thank you.”
Lucas left his desk, buttoning up his suit. What could his father want to see him about? His father, tall and distinguished-looking with graying hair at his temples, walked into the office looking as though he'd just come back from a round of golf at the country club. Lucas embraced his father, leading him to a couch.
“Dad, it's good to see you. Have you been playing golf? Can I get you something to drink?”
“Just water, son, and yes, I've just come back from the golf course.”
Lucas grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, tossing it to his father who easily caught it, taking a quick drink.
“What brings you by, Dad? You should be enjoying your retirement, not coming into the office.”
His father raised an eyebrow. “Is there something wrong with coming to see my son?”
“Of course, not, but you never do things without motive.”
“That's true. I've come to speak to you about something important.”
Lucas didn't like the tone his father used, it sounded as though he was about to get a scolding of some sort."
“What is it?”
“It's come to my attention that you spend the bulk of your days here.”
Lucas frowned. That was hardly something for him to be concerned about. Hadn't he been a workaholic as well?
"Yes, that's right. There's lots of work to do and I don't want to slack off in any way. This company is what I wanted, what I've been working towards. Now that I am the head, it's up to me to carry on the legacy your father started. A food empire like hours requires many hours of work and attention to detail."
His father shook his head. "Do not make excuses, son. There are many competent people here who can help you run the company, you don't need to do it yourself. The question is, why are you avoiding your wife?"
Lucas paused. How did his father know this? Had Ruth been talking to him? No, that's not possible, Ruth wouldn't do that. She wasn't one to involve other people in personal situations.
“What do you mean? I'm not avoiding my wife.”
“Son, you've only been married for three months and already you've abandoned her. Ruth is a good influence on you, I've seen it for myself, Lucas. Why are you doing this to her?”
“Dad, I'm not doing anything, alright? Ruth understands that I have a responsibility to this company, she supports me.”
"Listen to me, son, I've been there before, I've made all the excuses that you're making right now and it affected my marriage terribly. Do not make the same mistake I made."
Lucas was surprised by his father's admission of his past wrongs, but the fact remained that his situation was nothing like his. But I cannot tell him that this marriage between Ruth and I is nothing but a business deal or I'll lose the company.
“I assure you, Dad,
that my situation is different. Ruth is an understanding woman, she knows what I'm doing. It is not like I'm cheating on her!”
“But you are, son. You're cheating her out of your time and attention, your love and affection. A marriage cannot grow strong if you don't nurture it. But I can see that you won't listen, therefore I've come up with a solution that you cannot deny.”
What was his father talking about? “What solution, Dad?”
“I'm planning a family vacation to St. Johns.”
St. Johns? That's where he'd taken Ruth for their fake honeymoon, he didn't want to go back there.
"No, Dad, I'm swamped and I—"
"It's non-negotiable, Lucas, you and Ruth must be there. I want my whole family to attend this vacation, it's only for one week, I'm sure that you can make arrangements to leave. I'm going to go now, make sure that you inform Ruth about the vacation to give her time to plan, alright?"
Lucas watched his father leave, his thoughts spinning around in his head. A whole week with Ruth in front of his family? This was going to be challenging.
Chapter 8
If someone had told Ruth five months ago that she would be back in St Johns for a family vacation, she would have laughed in the person's face. Almost five months to the day and she was back on the island where she'd spent a lonely honeymoon with her new husband, the very same man that she now had to share a bedroom with. Lucas wheeled in their suitcases behind her, bringing them to stand in the corner.
“Listen, Ruth, we don't have to share a bed or anything, okay? There's a couch that I'll sleep on, you can take the bed.”
Ruth eyed the couch. “Are you sure? It doesn't look comfortable to me.”
"I'm sure it'll be fine, it's similar to the one that I have in the office."
Oh, so that's where he spends his nights when he doesn't come home. Lucas seemed to realize what he'd just said because he colored, mumbling about needing the restroom. It would have been so much better if I had my own room, but that would be suspicious and would raise questions that neither Lucas nor I am prepared to answer. They were surrounded by family, with Maureen and Hermanus on the top floor, them on the second floor, and her parents-in-law on the ground floor. Sure, there were extra rooms, but any one of them could walk by and notice that she and Lucas weren't in the same room.
They'd been the last to arrive at the house due to a last minute meeting. This time the meeting wasn't Lucas' fault but her own, as a client wished to see her at the last moment. Ruth had tried to convince Lucas to leave without her, but he'd insisted that he would wait for her. In all honesty, she would have preferred to travel alone just to give herself some time to mentally prepare for what was to come. She may have had just over a month to get herself in order, but the reality of the situation only truly set in when the day to depart arrived. Luckily, they'd arrived late so everyone was already in their rooms, either sleeping or relaxing.
“I don't need to face anyone just yet, but tomorrow morning will be another day.”
For now, she just had to deal with having Lucas in the same room as her, an unsettling thought for her. I've hardly seen him for months and now I have to spend almost every waking hour with him pretending to be in love just to avoid blowing our cover. Would she be able to do it? I've only just gotten over my confusing feelings for him, what if this time spent together will bring everything back up again? Ruth groaned, sinking down to the bed. There was nowhere to run or hide, their every move would likely be under scrutiny by the family, especially Lucas' parents. To keep herself busy, Ruth took out her clothing, hanging them up in the walk-in closet. She thought about doing the same for Lucas but she wasn't sure how he would react to her touching his belongings.
“I may be his wife, but he definitely doesn't see me as one.”
Clothes packed away, she sorted out her pajamas, glad that she thought to pick her most modest-looking sets. Ruth glanced at the bathroom door. He's still in there? When's he coming out? He didn't go with anything to shower and change. Is he using the toilet? For so long? She didn't want to have to wait any longer to use the bathroom, so she knocked on the door.
“Lucas? Are you done yet? I'd like to shower, please.”
The door opened, revealing a shirtless Lucas. Ruth had never seen him without a shirt on, his lean abs on display. Oh. My. Goodness. She struggled to make eye contact with him as her eyes kept straying to his bare chest.
“Bathroom's all yours.”
What did he say? “Huh?”
He smiled. “The bathroom, you can use it. I'll shower after you.”
As if the half-naked man in front of me wasn't enough, now I have to deal with that devastating smile. Life is just not fair, not in the slightest. There's all this manly goodness in front of me that a piece of paper claims I have a right to, but the reality is that I have no connection whatsoever to this man beyond a stupid business deal. Ruth was beginning to grow tired of their agreement.
“Uh, y-yes, okay. Thanks!”
She maneuvered around him, wondering why he didn't move out of the way and make it easier for her to get to the bathroom. Ruth shivered a bit when her shoulder grazed his chest, fighting against the urge to put her hand where her shoulder had been. Get a grip, Ruth, he's not yours, he's off-limits. Mentally sighing, she closed the bathroom door, locking it for good measure. Not that she actually believed that he would try to come in while she was still showering, but there was always some small, crazy, chance that it could happen.
Ruth took her time in the bathroom, enjoying the hot water hitting against her tense shoulders. How on earth am I going to deal with this man if the sight of his chest gives me heart palpitations? Not even George had brought about this kind of reaction in her, and she'd believed herself thoroughly attracted to him. This is on another level and I have absolutely no experience in dealing with such a thing. But if it's just a physical reaction it will eventually pass, I just have to keep my mind off of him until the week is up and I'm free again. But what if it turned out to be something more than just a physical reaction?
“Don't even go there, I'm not going through that saga again.”
Fatigue soon set in, so she stepped out of the shower, dressing hurriedly so that she could climb into bed and try to forget that Lucas was sharing the same room with her. She snorted.
“Yeah, like that's about to happen.”
Maybe he'd fallen asleep and she wouldn't have to worry about any awkward moments? Ruth peeked around the bathroom door, inwardly groaning when she saw Lucas chilling on the couch while reading a business magazine. He still hadn't put on a shirt and Ruth felt a bit of the wobblies just looking at him. He looks about as bothered as a fish in water, that's hardly fair. She sighed. Might as well make herself known and let him use the bathroom. Ruth pushed the door further open, stepping out.
“Uh, Lucas, the bathroom is clear—you can use it.”
He looked up, nodding. “Thanks, I'll just grab my clothes.”
Lucas tossed the magazine on the low coffee table, heading to his suitcase. When he only grabbed pajama bottoms Ruth wanted to shout at him. Put on a shirt, for goodness sake and stop torturing me! Instead, she pretended not to notice, busying herself with taking off the mountains of pillows on the bed.
“Who sleeps with so many pillows on the bed?” she muttered.
Lucas chuckled. “You're not supposed to sleep with them, they'e only for show.”
Shouldn't he be in the bathroom by now? Ruth turned her neck, looking at him sideways.
“I know that, I was just saying.”
Lucas continued to smile as he entered the bathroom, irritating her. Who does he think he is? I'm an interior designer, for heaven's sake! Of course I know that you don't need to sleep with them, I just think that it's overkill to have more than four pillows and three scatter cushions. She had to have counted six pillows, and eight scatter cushions on the bed, a ridiculous amount by any means.
“At least I can settle into bed without having him looking
at me.”
Ruth heard the shower turned on full blast, wincing at the wastage. You don't need that much water to clean yourself, but what can you expect of a man who can afford nearly everything available to mankind? Never mind the fact that the world was heading in the direction of a global water shortage.
"Icebergs are melting, animals are going extinct, aquatic animals are dying from consuming plastics thrown in the ocean, and people have gone crazy. On top of all of that, but certainly not the least, I've got to deal with this man who is completely oblivious to my reactions."
Ruth got into bed, punching her pillow into the correct shape before lying down. I should probably switch off the lights, that will make it clear to Lucas that I'm sleeping. Not that he really cares, but still. She reached for the lamp, turning it off before snuggling under the covers. The night air was surprisingly chilly for the summer season, especially on a tropical island like St. John. Ruth could feel herself dozing off, a blessing that she needed. Hopefully I'll be sound asleep by the time he returns.
Why was there so much shuffling in her room? Ruth opened one eye, then the other, feeling a bit disoriented. Where on earth was she? A memory of coming to the small island came to mind, easing her worry. But then who was shuffling and disturbing her sleep? She sat up in bed, gasping when she noticed a male figure on the couch. It took a second or two for her to realize that it was Lucas and that they were sharing a room together.
“What on earth is the time?”
Ruth stretched for her phone on the side table, checking the time. Two am? That early? She felt like taking a cushion and aiming it at Lucas' head because he was the one to wake her up. He shifted on the couch again, groaning a bit when he felt the resistance of the armrest and couldn't straighten his legs like he wanted to. Ruth began to feel bad about hogging the bed for herself, but there was no way she was sleeping on the couch.
“This is a king-sized bed, surely I can let him sleep here? I'll just put a bunch of cushion in between us.”
Ruth and Lucas Page 8
