by Cheree Alsop
“Me either,” I agreed.
She gave a small smile. “Next time, you’re going to the hospital.”
“I’m hoping there’s not a next time.” She gave me a look of disbelief and I laughed. “Okay, next time I’ll go to the hospital.”
I eased off the window seat and slid down to sit on her beige carpet.
“You’ve got to go,” she said. “My dad will kill you if he finds a boy in my room.”
“I’ll go,” I said. I tried to suppress the shakiness in my arms and legs. “I just need a second.”
She nodded and sat down near me with a concerned expression. Her hands rested awkwardly on her lap as if she didn’t know what to do with them. I gathered my courage, then reached out and took one of her hands in mine.
She waited a moment, then pulled her hand free. Rejection rang through my heart.
She dropped her head so her hair hid her expression from view. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what?” I asked. I tried to suppress the bitterness I felt at her refusal. “I’m not asking to do more than hold your hand.”
She nodded, then I heard her sniff. The realization that she was crying struck me hard. “Madelyn?”
She refused to look up. She wiped at her face and her fingers came away damp. I steeled my nerves and tipped her chin up slowly. “Madelyn, talk to me.”
She closed her eyes. Tears trickled down her cheeks. I didn’t know what to say. I had never watched a girl cry with such silent heartache. “Madelyn, please,” I whispered. “You’re not alone.”
She sobbed and pulled up her knees. She wrapped her arms around them and buried her face from view. Her shoulders shook. I scooted around next to her and put an arm behind her back. She leaned against me as she cried. I didn’t speak. I wasn’t sure what to say and I didn’t want to pry, but she needed someone. I would be there for her as much as she would let me into her world.
“Somebody hurts me,” she said in a voice just above a whisper. Her shoulders shook as if it took all of her strength to tell me.
Adrenaline ran through my veins at her words. I wanted to protect her. My hands balled into fists. “I know your dad hits you,” I said gently.
She shook her head. “It’s somebody else,” she said. “I can’t tell you who.”
Concern filled my chest. She was strong. I had seen her black eye, and when she spoke of it, she didn’t show this kind of emotion. It was a different kind of pain. The thought made my stomach clench. “Madelyn, I need you to be honest with me.” She nodded after a moment, but refused to lift her face. I swallowed. “I don’t know how to say this,” I whispered. I took a calming breath. “Does this person touch you without your permission?”
I thought she would laugh. I hoped she would. When she nodded, it sent a knife through my chest. Quiet Madelyn, silent on the bus, no friends at school, and living a life of solitude at home where someone hurt her and she was helpless to avoid it.
“Who is it? Madelyn, I need you to tell me.”
She shook her head. “I can’t,” she said, her voice stronger this time. “It won’t make a difference.”
Anger flooded through me at her words. “Maddy, if someone does something to you without your permission, you have every right to stand up and defend yourself. No one should be able to hurt you.”
She stood up. “You’d better go. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Alarmed, I pulled myself to my feet, using her window box and resting my weight on my good leg. “I didn’t mean to pry,” I said. “I just worry about you.”
She looked at me—really looked at me. The gold that encircled her green irises glowed in the light of the lamp beside her bed. It felt as if in that moment she looked through me to my soul. I was laid bare and vulnerable, a mere child when I wanted to be a man in control of the things that happened around me.
She crossed the two steps between us and then her lips were against mine. Her taste flooded my mouth and her fingers caressed my jaw and tangled in my hair. The kiss was gentle and sweet. It filled me with the need to laugh and shout at the same time.
I let out a slow breath and kissed her back just as gently. The moment flooded with a thousand heartbeats and I reveled in the touch of her hand on the back of my neck. When we parted, her taste lingered on my lips. She touched her own as if aware of the same thing. A smile hinted around the shadows of her mouth.
“You’d better go, Kelson Brady.”
I nodded and limped back to the window. “I’ll be back, Madelyn.”
She smiled her full, warm, glowing smile. “I know you will.”
I eased out the window and worked my way slowly down the tree. I hit my leg on one of the branches and was about to let out a stream of curse words, but I remembered that she watched me and I smothered the pain with the thought of her kiss.
WHEN I FINALLY PULLED up to the Ashby house that night, I found Uncle Rick waiting in the kitchen. The sight of his form hunched over the table made me want to sneak in the front door, but I gritted my teeth and limped inside, determined to take what was coming like a man.
He looked up at me with a pointed expression. “Have a good night?”
I nodded.
He watched me quietly for a moment, then returned to the papers beneath his hands. I realized he was working on bills. Maybe he wasn’t waiting up for me after all. “You know, Jaren and Cole have never given me cause to stay up this late. Even Cass knows her curfew.”
I leaned against the cabinet and crossed my arms. “Sorry, Uncle Rick. It won’t happen again.”
He chuckled. “Kel, my mom dropped my curfew when I turned sixteen. She said I’d just be sneakin’ out anyway and it’d be easier not groundin’ me every weekend.”
His logic appealed to me. I waited to see what conclusion he would come to.
He frowned at the papers in front of him. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m not your mom, or your dad either, wherever he’s at.” He balled an envelope in his fist. “I think maybe you need your mother.” My heart clenched as he continued, “I’m sorry for what happened to Zoey, and I understand getting away from it all, but you’re obviously not happy here and I don’t even pretend to know what you’re going through.”
My leg ached. I sat down on the chair across from him and leaned my face in my hands for a few moments. Exhaustion from everything that had happened during the day caught up to me. I let out a weary breath. “I may not be happy here,” I said quietly. “But I don’t think I’d be happy anywhere right now.” I glanced up and met his eyes. “At least here I can do something instead of sitting around in the apartment reminded of the fact that she’s not there.”
He studied me in silence for a few minutes. When he nodded, a weight lifted off my shoulders. “You can stay for a while longer, but Lauren worries about you when you miss dinner and disappear for the entire night. Try to be here once in a while so she knows you’re all right.”
I nodded, more touched than I had words to say. I rose and limped to the hallway door.
“How’s the leg?”
I fought back a smile. “A bit sore, but it’ll get better.”
He nodded and turned his attention back to his bills.
I limped to the living room and found a new pair of plaid pajamas waiting for me. I had never worn pajamas in my life, but Aunt Lauren’s consideration made me smile. I changed into them and settled on the cot. My cell phone showed no messages. I sent Mom a quick “good night” text and closed my eyes.
ORANGE AND RED DANCED up the wood with frightening speed. It ate the fibers as though the fire was a ravenous beast. The wood was old and broken down by years of neglect. The last of the white paint had peeled away long ago. Everywhere I looked, fire raged out of control, maddening in its haste and merciless in what it devoured.
“Kelson!”
I jerked awake. Sweat soaked the plaid pajamas and my blankets were twisted and lying on the floor. Cassidy looked at me with shock and surprise. I realized I was
holding her arm. I let it go and sat up.
“You were having a nightmare,” Cassidy said.
I nodded and rubbed my face with my hands.
Cassidy sat down beside me. “Mom told me to wake you up. You slept in.” Her voice softened. “Are you all right?”
Zoey’s voice rang in my head over and over again. I pushed up from the cot and limped toward the bathroom. “I’m fine. Tell Uncle Rick I’ll be out right away.”
Cassidy sat there until I closed the bathroom door. I leaned against it and let out a heavy breath. Why did the nightmare have to feel so real? The nightmare was real, the voice in the back of my mind reminded me.
I pushed the thought away and showered quickly, careful to wrap my leg in a plastic bag like the emergency room doctor had instructed. I dried it off as soon as I got out and rewrapped it. The skin was tender where Madelyn had sewn the new sutures. I would have to take out my own stitches because her green thread would be too obvious. I pulled on a fresh pair of pants, a dark-blue shirt, and ran a hand through my hair.
It was then that I noticed my knuckles. A closer inspection showed them to be swollen from the fight in the convenience store. I shook my head. How did I get myself into these things?
I limped back into the kitchen.
“Good morning, sunshine,” Aunt Lauren said. She was a morning person through and through. Plates of scrambled eggs and pancakes sat in the middle of the table; it was obvious by the pile in the sink that the others had already eaten. Apparently Saturdays meant straight to work instead of the necessary intermission of school. I loaded eggs between two pancakes and took a bite.
“Delicious,” I said with my mouth full.
Aunt Lauren smiled. “Guess you have to eat and run. I’m glad you got some rest.”
I remembered Uncle Rick’s words and swallowed my food. “I’m sorry I didn’t come home for dinner. I promise I’ll be home tonight.”
She shook her head. “Nobody will be home for dinner tonight.” At my look, she smiled again. “It’s the Homecoming football game. Everyone will be there.”
“You mean Uncle Rick actually takes time away from farming to watch football?” I asked incredulously.
She laughed. “Even Rick. It’s the highlight of the month for Sparrow, and the Bulldogs are looking good this year. Trust me—you won’t want to miss it.”
I chose not to go into my dislike of team sports with her. Instead, I loaded another set of pancakes with eggs, then paused by the door. “Should I go to the junkyard, or does Uncle Rick need help on the farm?”
She thought about it for a moment. “I really don’t think Jagger works on weekends. He’d probably die of shock if you showed up. But I know Rick could use help with the cows. It’s time to move the herd to the southern fields.”
Her suggestion made me uneasy. I wanted to prove that I wasn’t a lazy city kid, but I wasn’t sure herding cows would do it. My last few experiences with the animals hadn’t been that promising. I gave what I hoped was a natural smile. “Thanks, Aunt Lauren. Breakfast was delicious.” She waved at me and I went into the mud room to pull on my sneakers.
I found Cassidy waiting when I reached the yard. “Here,” she said. She tossed me a straw cowboy hat similar to her own.
“This is dangerous,” I replied, catching it.
“How so?” she asked curiously.
I put the hat on my head. It fit well and kept the sun out of my eyes. “You’re tryin’ to make this city kid look like he fits in with you farm folk,” I answered in an imitation of her drawl. “Not sure it’ll work.”
“Well, Kelson Brady, you might have to look in a mirror. You look like you belong out here,” Cassidy replied her best city accent.
We both laughed. I followed her to the truck. “Your turn,” she said, sliding across to the passenger seat.
I stared at her. “There’s no way I’m wrecking Uncle Rick’s truck. I’ve got enough against me as it is.”
“Good,” Cassidy replied. “Then we’ll be fine.” She waited for me to climb in.
“I’m not going to be able to shift with my leg,” I protested, trying to find any way out of it.
“This is an automatic. No shifting required.” She grinned. “Just drive, city boy.”
I rolled my eyes and turned the key. The engine rumbled. I was about to go when Cassidy said, “Wait for Jake. He’s been wandering around all morning. If we leave him when we herd cows, he’ll never forgive us.”
I laughed. “You talk about that dog like he’s got hopes and dreams of his own.”
“Why wouldn’t he?” Cassidy replied. She leaned over and honked the horn. The dog darted around the corner of the house and jumped into the back of the truck. He wagged his tail as though to say “I’m all set,”, and his tongue lolled out of his mouth.
“If a dog’s born to herd, he dreams about herding. The best way to keep an animal happy is to let it live to the measure of its creation.”
I glanced at her.
“What?” Cassidy asked, sounding self-conscious.
“You sound like you’re twenty years older all of a sudden,” I replied.
She laughed and pushed my shoulder. “Just drive. Leave the philosophizing to me.”
“Will do,” I agreed.
We pulled alongside Uncle Rick’s truck a few minutes later. The boys were already on horses rounding up the straggling cows at the far end of the pasture. Uncle Rick waved us over. I ducked under the barbed-wire fence alongside Cassidy. We dodged several cow pies, then I missed my footing and stepped squarely in one. It squished over my shoe.
“You need cowboy boots,” Cassidy said with a laugh. She scraped the bottom of her flat sole on a clump of grass. “Easier to clean.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I replied with a roll of my eyes. She grinned.
When we reached Uncle Rick, he motioned to two horses tied by a rusty gray trailer. “Take Ansel and Chewbacca to the wash. I saw a few cows out that way earlier. Make sure their calves come along, if they’ve got any.”
Cassidy swung up on the black horse, Ansel, as easily as if she were climbing on a bike. I cautiously eyed the shaggy brown horse she had left for me.
“Come on,” she urged. “Dad’ll want to get going soon.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admitted sheepishly.
She climbed down from Ansel and took me around to the left side of the horse. “Put your left foot in the stirrup, hold on to the pommel, and swing on. Don’t worry; I won’t untie him until you’re set. Chewie’s an old softie. He’ll be easy on ya.”
I did as she instructed. Swinging onto the back of a horse felt like the dumbest thing I had ever done. Considering my recent history, that was saying a lot. The animal stomped a hoof and I grabbed the pommel for balance. When I finally had my feet in the stirrups, Cassidy tossed me two strips of leather and climbed back on Ansel.
“Now guide him with the reins,” she commanded. She showed me how her horse turned left when she pulled the leather that way, then did the same in the other direction. “You stop by pulling them both back at the same time, and you can back up if you keep the pressure steady.”
I tried to do the same thing, but Chewbacca just sat there.
“He’s lazy,” Cassidy said. “Give him a kick.”
“Like this?” I asked. I tapped the heel of my good leg against the horse’s side. He started to follow Ansel.
“Perfect!” Cassidy exclaimed. She urged her horse faster, and Chewbacca trotted along behind her.
I bounced around in the saddle, fully aware that I wouldn’t be able to walk by the time we were done if she kept trotting the horses. “Hey, Cass,” I called out. “Slow it down. I’m paying for it in places you don’t have to worry about!”
She turned Ansel back and laughed at the way I was jostled with every step. “Look,” she said. “Stand on the balls of your feet in the stirrups. Your knees will cushion the steps and save your dignity.”
I grinned and
did as she showed. While it hurt my leg a great deal, it also eased the bouncing. “Thanks.” I glanced back to find Uncle Rick watching us. I couldn’t tell if his expression was one of exasperation or humor. I gritted my teeth. “Let’s go get those cows.”
Without warning, Cassidy kicked Ansel into a gallop and my horse followed. I clung to Chewbacca’s pommel and reins until I realized that it was much easier to ride at a gallop than a trot. I used my stirrups as she showed me and felt somewhat comfortable in the saddle by the time we eased to a walk and rode down the wash.
Sure enough, two brown-and-white cows with two little calves rested in the shade of a thorny tree.
“Hup, cattle,” Cassidy shouted.
The cows looked at her with docile brown eyes and chewed their cud as if they couldn’t care less that two riders had come for them. Cassidy urged Ansel closer and slapped one of the cows lightly on the flank with her reins. “Move it!”
The cow gave a moo of protest, but ambled up the wash with one of the calves close behind. The other cow followed without any urging. Cassidy directed Ansel up the bank after them and Chewbacca was about to follow, but I heard something and pulled his reins back tight to keep him there.
Another little moo sounded. I looked around the thorny tree and saw a small calf tangled in wire on the other side. “Cassidy!” I yelled. She turned her horse as I slid off Chewbacca. I looped his reins around the tree, then ducked underneath.
“Maaaa,” the little cow bawled.
“It’s okay, little fella,” I said gently. “I’ll get you out of here.” I tried to pull at the wire around its hooves, but it was wrapped tight. “No wonder your mama didn’t want to leave,” I continued in a soft tone to keep it from moving. “She was watching over her little one.”
“Kelson, what are you doing? If Dad—” Cassidy stepped around the tree and her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, my goodness!”
“I can’t get the wires off. They’re wrapped too tight.”
“I have cutters in my saddlebag. Hold on a minute.”
The little calf looked so forlorn. I petted the soft, curly hair on top of its head and marveled at its big ears. It turned its head and licked my hand with a long, wet tongue. “Ew!” I exclaimed, wiping the drool on my shirt. “Thanks for that.”
