Claire let go of Glen, who she'd been hanging on tightly to since he'd helped her up. She followed Mandy to the small windows that lined the walls in a complete circle. The room was small, almost claustrophobic. Claire hoped she could look out the windows without passing out.
Slowly, Claire edged her way to the window next to Mandy. She peered out. Mandy and Jim had been right. It was an amazing view of the island and beyond.
Jim came up behind Claire and looked over her shoulder. "Aren't you happy that you didn't miss this?" he asked.
Claire nodded. She started taking pictures of the island from every view, moving from window to window, with Jim protectively following her. The ocean beyond the island was a beautiful variation of blues and greens that went on forever into the bright blue horizon. Claire snapped picture after picture, enjoying the lovely scenery.
Soon, Janice, Carl, Mandy, and Craig left the room and headed down the stairway. Glen helped Lisa through the opening in the floor, then asked Claire if she'd like him to stay and help her down.
"No, you go ahead. I want to take a few more pictures before we go down," Claire said. She felt confident now since the view wasn't making her queasy. Glen disappeared down the stairs.
After Claire and Jim had taken as many photos as they wanted, it was time to go down. All the giddiness Claire had felt about being able to look out the windows without getting sick disappeared when she looked down the opening to the ladder. Fear began to rise inside her and she felt the color drain from her face.
"Are you okay?" Jim asked.
"I'm not sure. How am I going to get through that hole and grab ahold of the ladder without falling through?" Claire asked, starting to panic.
"I can hold your hand to steady you while you step down," Jim said.
Claire eyes grew wide. "But then who will help me down from below if you are up here and I'm on the ladder? What if I fall? Oh, my God. I should have told Glen to stay. I can't do this with just your help."
Jim grasped both of Claire's arms, making her focus on him. "Okay, steady now. Don't panic. You can do this. I'll go through first, then you can come down after me, okay? I'll grab you if you lose your balance."
Claire looked into Jim's eyes. She had to trust him. She had to believe she could get down from here. There was no alternative. She couldn't stay up here forever.
"Ready?" Jim asked.
Claire slowly nodded.
Jim walked over to the opening, turned around, grabbed the railings, and stepped down onto the first step. "See how I did it?" he asked Claire. "You do it the same way, okay?"
Claire nodded. She watched Jim step down another step, then another, until there was room for her to step down. She walked over to the opening and looked down at Jim. She felt dizzy. Claire closed her eyes tight.
"I can't do this," she told Jim, backing away. "I can't. I'll fall. I'll knock you down. I can't do this."
"Claire, listen to me," Jim said calmly. "You can do this. Just come over here and don't look down. Grab the railing tight, then step down onto the first step. I'm right here. I won't let you fall."
Claire felt like crying. Tears welled up in her eyes. I shouldn't have come up here. I'm never going to be able to get down.
"Claire. It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. You can do this. Come on. You can do this."
Jim's soothing voice kept urging her forward. Claire finally opened her eyes, swiped the tears away, and inched toward the opening. She turned around and grabbed tightly to the railings. Hanging on for dear life, she slowly reached one foot down toward the ladder's step. She hesitated, not sure where it was, then she felt a warm hand on her ankle, guiding her foot to the step. Through her sneaker, she finally felt the step, and placed her weight on it.
"There you go," Jim said. "Now, keep hanging on tight and move your other foot through and onto the next step."
Claire did as she was told. Again, she felt Jim's hand on her ankle to guide her foot to the step. She let out a sigh of relief.
"Now just keep coming down the ladder," Jim told her. "I'm right here. Right behind you."
Slowly, Claire moved her right foot, then her left foot, finding the next ladder step for each one. She felt calmer with each step she went down. Finally, she heard Jim step onto the landing where the actual stairway started, and she stepped one foot down on it, too. She felt Jim's hands circle her waist as she slowly dropped her other foot onto the landing. She opened her eyes to see where she was and accidently looked down the middle of the stairway to the bottom floor where everyone else was waiting for them. Claire wavered, feeling dizzy again.
"It's okay, Claire," Jim said softly into here ear. "I've got you. I'm not going to let you go."
Claire closed her eyes and stood there a moment until she felt steadier on her feet. Feeling Jim's hands on her waist made her feel safer. Much safer.
"Ready to go the rest of the way?" Jim asked.
Claire nodded. They walked to the staircase with Jim's arm around her waist, steadying her. Slowly, step by step, they walked down the staircase together with Claire hanging onto the handrail with one hand, and the other hand grasping Jim's waist. Jim held her tightly against him, never letting go.
The others were already outside when Jim and Claire made it to the bottom step. Claire still clung to Jim, even after they were on the main floor.
"Are you okay?" he whispered to her.
"Yeah. I just need to get my bearings," she said, standing there. "Sorry I was so much trouble, but you already knew I was afraid of heights."
"No trouble at all," he said softly, looking directly at Claire. Jim leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "Happy to do it." He slowly pulled away and walked out into the bright daylight.
Claire stood there a moment, thinking about what had just happened. She reached her hand up to her cheek and touched it where Jim had just kissed her. Regaining her balance and her composure, she followed him outside into the sunlight.
That night the entire wedding group ate dinner at The Red Snapper Inn on the other side of the island. They'd all dressed up and driven their golf carts there. Janice and Carl had ridden with Mandy and Craig, and Claire had ridden with Jim. It was another beautiful evening with a clear sky and warm air.
The Red Snapper Inn was one of the three resorts on the island and also boasted an upscale restaurant. They sat at a long table on the enclosed patio that had large windows all around. Like every place on the island, there was a spectacular view of the ocean.
The food was delicious. Everyone had ordered some type of seafood, except for the Fishers who had stuck with chicken again. Claire had tried the local lobster that came with delicious roasted red potatoes and asparagus tips. Jim had tried the fish of the day, steamed grouper, and shared a bite with Claire.
"Is the food better tasting here on the island?" Claire asked everyone at the table. "Or does it just seem better tasting, because there is always such a great view?"
Everyone in the group laughed, but agreed that everything they'd eaten since coming to the island had been delicious.
Night fell as they finished dinner. Claire and Jim had shared a slice of cheesecake with strawberries on it, and Claire felt like she was going to burst from eating so much food. Mandy and Craig suggested taking a walk on the beach before driving back to the resort, and everyone agreed that would be nice. Janice and Carl stayed behind, though, and waited for them in the bar.
Mandy grabbed her mother's arm and they walked ahead of the group. "You and Dad seem to be doing okay today," she said.
Claire nodded. "Yeah. He's been behaving himself since last night."
Mandy rolled her eyes. "Last night was awful. But he apologized to us this morning. What set off his bad mood?"
"Diane," Claire said. "She was mad at him about a picture you'd posted on Facebook. We were in it, and he was rubbing suntan lotion on my back. She blew a gasket over it."
Mandy turned toward her mother, her hand raised to her mouth. "Oh, no.
I didn't mean to start anything by posting pictures. I posted pictures of the scenery. I didn't even notice you and Dad in the picture. Should I take it down?"
A small smile appeared on Claire's face. She wasn't usually a mean spirited person, but she did enjoy making Diane angry. "Ah, just leave it up. It's your Facebook page. You can have whatever you want on it."
Mandy shot her mother a sideways glance. "You just want to piss off Diane, don't you?"
Claire looked at her daughter with a fake shocked expression. "Who, me? Never."
Both women laughed.
"Can you imagine what she'd do if she knew you and Daddy were sharing a room?" Mandy asked.
"Hmmm. Maybe you should post that to Facebook, too," Claire said, waggling her eyebrows.
"You can be really evil, you know that?" Mandy said, giggling. "I don't want to upset Dad's wife that much. After all, he has to live with her."
Claire agreed. After how nice Jim had been to her today at the lighthouse, she really didn't want to do anything to upset his wife, or life, either.
Mandy fell back to walk with Craig and soon all the couples paired off and walked down the beach. That left Claire and Jim together again. Claire didn't mind tonight. At least they were getting along well, and it was such a beautiful evening, it was nice sharing it with someone.
"You know what this reminds me of?" Jim asked Claire as they walked side-by-side at the water's edge.
"What?"
"When we were in college and a group of us would go to the lake for the day and hang out on the beach. Remember? We'd usually stay late into the evening and start a bonfire. Those were the days, huh? When we had nothing more to worry about except getting to class on time and having fun."
Claire looked up at him, surprised he'd brought up the old days. They'd met in her first year of college in an economics class. Jim had been one year ahead of her. Both had majored in Business Management, so they often had the same classes together. They started dating seriously in her sophomore year. Then, in her junior year, Claire discovered she was pregnant with Mandy and she and Jim were married that summer. Luckily, he'd already graduated college. Claire never finished her last year. Now, it seemed like such a long time ago. Almost like another lifetime.
"Yeah. Those were the days," Claire agreed. "But real life is always more complicated than college life. Ours grew complicated before we even finished college."
Jim glanced up to where Mandy walked with Craig, then back at Claire. "Maybe," he said. "But I wouldn't have traded having Mandy for anything else in the world."
Claire's heart swelled. It was nice hearing that he'd at least been happy they'd married and had Mandy, even though their marriage hadn't lasted in the end.
The air grew chilly and the group turned back toward the inn to collect Janice and Carl and drove the golf carts to the lodge. Everyone said goodnight and headed to their rooms. Before leaving, Mandy told her parents that she and Craig were going down to the top of the dune by the beach to lay down and look up at the night sky. "You should try it," she told Jim and Claire. "It's so peaceful and beautiful."
"Maybe another night," Claire said. She hugged her daughter goodnight.
"Nothing like being young and in love," Jim said wistfully as he watched Mandy and Craig walk away hand in hand.
Claire nodded. "Yeah. Hopefully it will last for them."
Jim turned to Claire and looked at her tenderly. "Our marriage wasn't so bad, was it? I mean, until I screwed everything up."
Claire didn't know how to answer him. She had thought they had a good marriage, but then he'd left her and she still didn't understand why.
"Something must have been wrong," she said sadly. "Otherwise, we'd still be together."
Jim sighed. "I guess that was a stupid question, huh? But I believe our marriage was a good one, even with the way things turned out."
Claire turned away from Jim, afraid that if she stayed close to him, her emotions would bubble up to the surface. This was no time for tears. She silently agreed, their marriage had been good. That was why his leaving had been such a shock.
"Okay. No more stupid questions," Jim said, the lightness now back in his voice. "It's late. Let's go up to bed."
Claire and Jim walked up the three flights of stairs to their room. For one fleeting moment, Claire wished things had been different and they were still together. But now there were other people involved, and that wish could no longer come true.
***
Jim lay awake in his uncomfortable cot long after they'd turned out the lights and Claire had fallen asleep. The moonlight filtered through an opening in the curtains over the patio door, and Jim heard the sound of the ocean waves in the distance. Claire had left the patio door open a crack again tonight so they'd be lulled to sleep by the sound of the ocean. Unfortunately, it hadn't helped him fall asleep so easily.
Jim thought back through their day together, and it made him smile. He'd been such a jerk the night before because of Diane's phone call, but Claire had been kind enough to understand and forgive him. That was the Claire he remembered. The kind, caring woman who had always stood by him, encouraged him, and most of all, trusted him. The fact that she'd still be so nice to him after he'd broken that trust four years ago made him feel even more remorseful now. And he'd felt terrible, no downright dreadful, when he'd left her.
Jim thought back to the day he'd left, and, for the life of him, he couldn't think of one good reason why he'd done it. Claire had never been a nagger. She'd never asked more of him than she'd given of herself. She'd been the perfect mother, and had never once made Jim feel as if he came second in their marriage. Yet, he'd still cheated and he'd still left her. Why?
"Something must have been wrong, otherwise, we'd still be together," Claire had said to him tonight. He hadn't known how to respond when she'd said it because, if he were honest with himself, he knew that there had been nothing wrong with their relationship. There had only been something wrong with him.
Jim turned in the cot to try to get more comfortable and was rewarded with a loud creaking noise. He lay still for a moment, listening, until he decided that he hadn't awoken Claire. The cot was a torture device, and maybe the fact that he was stuck on it was well-deserved. It was just one of the universe's ways of exacting revenge on him for hurting Claire. Another form of revenge had been living with Diane. If the universe hadn't been laughing at him for being stuck with her after having had Claire, he'd be surprised. Karma was a bitch, and so was Diane.
Jim pushed away all thoughts of the horrible cot and of his soon-to-be ex-wife and thought about the lovely day he and Claire had shared. It had felt so good to enjoy an easy-going day exploring the gift shops and walking the beach. Helping Claire with her fear of heights at the lighthouse had been unexpected, but actually nice. Even though she'd been afraid, he'd been able to help her see the view from above, and he knew she'd be pleased with the photos she'd taken. It had also felt good being needed by her. He'd come to her aid when she'd needed him, and he'd followed through. At least this time he hadn't abandoned her when she'd needed him most.
Jim had also noticed that Claire hadn't been as nervous today as she'd been the first few days of the trip. She hadn't spun her charm bracelet around her wrist or twirled her necklace endlessly. That meant she'd been relaxed and enjoyed her day, too. Or, at least he hoped it meant that.
Jim hoped that the rest of the vacation went as nicely as today had. For a fleeting instant, he wondered if he should tell Claire that he and Diane were through. Would that make a difference to her? Would it help her decide if she really wanted to marry that stuck up Steven, or not? He didn't know for sure how she'd react to the news. Would it help to bring him and Claire closer? Or would it matter at all to Claire. A little part of him wished it would matter.
When Jim finally fell asleep, it was to the lulling sound of the waves, but also to the light, steady breathing of the first love of his life, and perhaps, the only love of his life, sleeping only a
few feet away from him.
Chapter Ten
Claire awoke the next morning to the sun peeking through the partially closed curtains. She reached over, pulled one curtain aside, and hooked it open, then lay back and sighed. The view outside the window was glorious. It was another sunny day with blue skies and puffy white clouds overhead.
Claire picked up her phone and unlocked it to see what time it was. Nine-thirty a.m. Wow, she hadn't realized she'd slept so late, but it had felt good. She couldn't remember when she'd slept in this late in a long time.
Claire felt something move beside her, and she turned to see Jim smiling back at her. She jumped, startled by his nearness. "What on earth are you doing in my bed?" she exclaimed, pulling the blankets tighter around her. "You scared the bejeezus out of me."
"Sorry," Jim said sheepishly. "I didn't mean to scare you. And technically, I'm not in your bed, I'm on your bed. See? I'm on top of the comforter and you're safely tucked under the blankets. No one is touching anyone."
Claire rolled her eyes and fell back on her pillows. "That's not the point. You're on my bed, uninvited. How long have you been there?"
"I'm sorry," Jim repeated. "But that cot is killing me. Plus, it was making so much noise, I was afraid I'd wake you."
Claire stared hard at Jim. "How long?"
"Only an hour or so."
Claire sighed, then lifted her arms in surrender. "I feel like I've lost control of everything. First my room, now my bed. Is there anything else in my life you'd like to take?"
Jim grinned and leaned over closer to her. "Well, if you're offering…" he started to say, but Claire cut him off.
"No, I'm not," she said pointedly. "I'm going to shower and then head over to that delightful coffeehouse and have one of their delicious muffins and a coffee. What are you doing this morning?"
Jim continued smiling that rakish grin of his as he watched Claire pull clean clothes out of her suitcase and walk toward the bathroom. "I'll go anywhere you're going," he said.
Destination Wedding ~ A Novel Page 9
