“Dad.” She sighed and leaned back in her seat.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through, honey,” Brian said gently. “But I do know that you are going through something. And it’s okay to admit it. It’s okay to be hurt and scared sometimes.”
“I know. But I’m okay.”
“I know you don’t always want to talk to me, but I hope you’re talking to somebody.” He took a sip from his coffee. “Are you going over to Alex’s today?”
“No, Gemma’s over there.”
“So? He’s your friend, too. You can be around him when Gemma is.”
“I know, but…” She shrugged.
“You can still be his friend even though he has a girlfriend.” Brian paused. “Is Gemma his girlfriend?”
“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “Kinda, I think.”
“Hmm.” He furrowed his brow. “I guess there could be worse boys than Alex.”
“Yes, there could,” she agreed.
“What about you?”
“What about me what?”
“Are you seeing anybody?”
“Dad,” Harper groaned and got up from the table.
“Harper,” Brian groaned back.
“Why is everybody so interested in my love life all of a sudden?” She went over to the fridge and grabbed the orange juice. “Not that I have one. Because I don’t.” Pouring herself a glass of juice, she muttered, “I don’t like anybody.”
“Everybody’s interested in your love life?” Brian asked. “Who’s everybody?”
“I don’t know. You. Alex.” She squirmed and gulped down the juice so she wouldn’t have to say more. “I know it’s Saturday, but I don’t think I’m going to see Mom today.”
“Okay.”
“Gemma’s pretty tied up today, but maybe tomorrow she’ll want to see Mom.” Harper glanced back over toward Alex’s house. “I don’t know. Or maybe she won’t. I’ll probably still go tomorrow, even if she doesn’t want to.”
“Okay.” Brian nodded. “Good. It’s good for you see your mother.”
“You know, it would probably be good for you to see her, too,” Harper said carefully, and he visibly stiffened at her suggestion.
The doorbell rang, saving them both from another awkward conversation about Nathalie. Neither of them really liked talking about her at all, least of all to each other, but once her name came up, they’d both feel compelled to get into a discussion about her.
“I’ll get it,” Harper said, even though she was still in her pajamas and Brian was dressed.
She thought it might be the police. They said they would stop by if they had more questions, but she and Alex hadn’t really been able to tell them much. They didn’t actually know anything, except where the bodies had been found.
Instead of the police she found Daniel standing on her doorstep. He smiled at her, and at first she did nothing but stand there with the door open, gaping at him in surprise.
“Sorry. Did I wake you?” Daniel asked. “If I’m bothering you, I can just go—”
“No, um, it’s fine.” Harper shook her head, but she suddenly became aware of the fact that she was wearing only a tank top and short girl boxers. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I was awake.”
“Good.” He scratched at his arm and stared at her. “Can I come in?”
“Oh, right, yeah. Yes. Of course.” She stepped back so he could get by, so now they could stare at each other awkwardly in the entryway instead of on the doorstep. Finally she just blurted out, “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, um, I heard about what happened to your friend.” Sympathy filled his hazel eyes. “The one that was missing, and I wanted to offer my condolences.”
“Oh. Thank you.” She smiled thinly at him.
“I stopped by the library to see if you were at work,” Daniel explained. “I wanted to check and make sure you were holding up okay, because you seemed pretty distressed when you found out he was missing.”
“I have Saturdays off,” Harper said, instead of addressing how she was holding up.
“That’s what the girl working there told me. It was a surly girl with straight bangs.” He held his hand up in front of his forehead to show where her bangs hit just above her eyebrows.
“That’s Marcy.”
“The coworker you can’t leave unattended?” Daniel asked.
“Yeah.” She laughed a little, surprised that Daniel had been paying attention and remembered that. “That’s her.”
“She told me where you lived, and I hope it’s not too weird that I’m stopping by. I can go if you want.” He motioned to the door beside him.
“No, no. It’s good. And I know where you live, so it’s only fair, right?”
“I guess.” He smiled, looking relieved. “How are you doing?”
“Fine.” She shrugged.
“Harper?” Brian asked and came in from the kitchen. “Who’s this?”
“Dad, this is, um, Daniel.” Harper gestured toward him. “Daniel, this is my dad, Brian.”
“Hello, sir.” Daniel extended his hand, and Brian eyed him uncertainly as they shook hands.
“You look familiar,” Brian said. “Do I know you from somewhere?”
“You’ve probably seen me at my boat.” Daniel put his hands in his back pockets. “The Dirty Gull. It’s parked down at the docks.”
“Oh.” Brian stared at him, trying to figure out how he knew him. “Was your grandfather Darryl Morgan?”
Daniel nodded. “That would be my grandpa.”
“He was my foreman down at the docks,” Brian said. “We lost a good guy when he passed away.”
“That we did,” Daniel agreed.
“You used to come down to the docks with him, didn’t you? But you were just…” Brian held his hand up near his hip, but now Daniel was actually a good inch taller than Brian. “And now you’re all grown up.” He looked over at Harper. “And you’re visiting my daughter.”
“Dad,” Harper said quietly and gave him a look.
“Okay. Well, it was good to see you again,” Brian said. “But I think I’m going to head out to the garage to work on Gemma’s car.” He walked around them and went to the front door, but paused when he opened it. “But I’ll just be right outside if you need me. With heavy tools.”
“Dad!” Harper snapped.
“Have fun, kids,” Brian said as he disappeared out the front door.
“Sorry about that,” Harper said after her father had gone.
“It’s okay.” Daniel smirked. “I’m guessing you don’t have a lot of male suitors.”
“Are you implying that you are a male suitor?” Harper raised an eyebrow and looked up at him.
“I’m not implying anything,” he said, but he smiled at her in a way that made her look away.
“Do you want something to drink?” she asked, walking toward the kitchen. “I just made some coffee a little bit ago.”
“Coffee would be great.”
Daniel followed her into the kitchen. Harper grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and filled them both with coffee. When she gave Daniel his, he sat down at the kitchen table, but she stayed standing, preferring to lean against the counter and drink her coffee.
“This is really good coffee,” Daniel said after taking a sip.
“Thank you. It’s Folgers.”
“So.” He set his mug down on the table. “You never did tell me how you were doing.”
“Yeah, I did. I said I was fine.”
“Yeah, but that was a lie.” He tilted his head, watching her. “How are you really doing?”
Harper scoffed and looked away from him, smiling nervously. “How do you know that’s a lie? And why would I lie?” She shook her head. “Why would I not be okay? I mean, I only knew one of them, and I didn’t even really know the guy.”
“You are a horrible liar. Honestly. You’re one of the worst I’ve ever seen. Every time you say something that’s not true, you ramble and avoid
eye contact.”
“I…” She started to protest, then sighed.
“Why don’t you want to admit how you really feel?” Daniel asked.
“It’s not that I don’t want to.” She stared down at the coffee in her hands. “It’s that … I don’t feel like I have a right to feel bad.”
“How do you not have a right to feel bad? You’re entitled to feel however you feel.”
“No, I’m not.” She suddenly wanted to cry. “Luke was … I barely knew him. His parents lost a son. Alex lost a friend. They loved him. They lost something. They get to feel terrible about it.”
She shook her head, as if that wasn’t what she wanted to say at all. “We exchanged a few really awkward, sloppy kisses last fall, and then I kinda blew him off.” She chewed her lip, trying not to cry. “I mean, he was a nice guy. I just didn’t feel that way about him.”
“Because you dated, and it ended, you don’t get to feel bad?” Daniel asked.
“Maybe.” She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Okay, let’s try this. Let’s forget how you should feel or shouldn’t feel. Why don’t you just tell me exactly what you’re feeling and thinking right now?”
“It’s not…” Harper swallowed hard, planning to dismiss Daniel’s question, but then she changed her mind. “I can’t stop thinking about his face when we found him. He had a maggot crawling on his lip.” Unconsciously, she ran a finger over her own lips. “Those were lips that I’d kissed.
“And I can’t get the way the bodies smelled out of my nose. No matter how much I shower or how much perfume I spray, I can’t stop smelling it.” Her voice got thick, and her eyes welled with tears.
“It’s his lips and face I keep picturing, but his body was all torn up.” She gestured to her own torso. “He’d been ripped open and … I just keep thinking how scared he had to be.” Tears slid down her cheeks. “He had to be terrified when that happened. They all did.”
Daniel got up from the table and walked over to her. He stood in front of her and put his hands on her arms, but she wouldn’t look at him. She stared off at a point on the floor, crying.
“We saw him that day,” Harper went on. “The day he disappeared, at the picnic. And I just keep thinking, if I’d invited him to hang out with us, he’d still be alive. When I saw him, I was upset because everything was so awkward between us now. And he was a nice guy! If I’d just…”
She started sobbing then, her words getting drowned out by her tears. Daniel took the coffee mug from her hands and set it on the counter behind her. Then he reached out, and, almost tentatively, pulled her into his arms, hugging her.
“It’s not your fault,” Daniel told her as she cried into his shoulder. “You can’t save everybody, Harper.”
“Why not?” she asked, her words muffled.
“It’s just the way the world works.”
Harper allowed herself to cry for a little bit longer, feeling both grateful and ashamed at having Daniel’s arms around her. When she’d calmed down enough, she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. He retracted his arms, but he stayed right in front of her, in case she needed him.
“Sorry,” she said, pressing her palms to her cheeks to dry the tears.
“Don’t be. I’m not.”
“Well, you have no reason to be sorry. You’re not being a total freak.”
“Neither are you.” He brushed a lock back from her forehead, and she let him, but she wouldn’t look up at him.
“And I know you’re right. I mean, that it’s not my fault.” She sniffled. “But I just can’t stop thinking about that day at the picnic. I mean, we saw him that afternoon, and he went missing that night. If I’d just said, Hey, why don’t you hang out with us? instead of letting him go off with that girl…”
“You can’t beat yourself up like that. There’s no way you could’ve known.”
“Yes, I should’ve.” Her eyes widened as she realized something, and she looked up at him. “The last time I saw Luke alive, he was going off with Lexi.”
“Who’s Lexi?” Daniel asked.
“One of those really pretty, creepy girls.”
“So he left the picnic with this Lexi girl, and then disappeared?” Daniel asked. “Did you tell the cops that?”
“No, I mean, yes.” She shook her head. “I told them what I knew, but that didn’t seem very important. He went home after the picnic and had supper with his parents. It’s after that that he left, then went missing. But he did go off with Lexi, for a little while.”
“You think that Lexi and Penn and that other girl are somehow involved with the murders? That’s what you’re suggesting?”
“I don’t know,” Harper said, then changed her mind. “Yes. I do. I think they’re connected.”
“At the risk of being accused of being a sexist pig, I’m going to say something—they’re just girls.” He took a small step back from Harper, as if he expected her to hit him, but she didn’t. “I get that it’s the new millennium and equal rights and girls can be serial killers just as well as boys. But those three girls don’t really look like they have the upper body strength to, you know, eviscerate somebody.”
“I know, but…” She furrowed her brow. “They’re evil, and they had something to do with it. I may not understand how yet, but I know it.”
Daniel watched her for a minute, thinking, then he nodded. “No. I believe you. Now what?”
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “But I’m not letting Gemma go anywhere near them again. I’ll tie her to the bed if I have to.”
“That sounds reasonable.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures.”
“Where is Gemma?” Daniel asked.
“She’s over at Alex’s.” Harper gestured to his house next door. “She’s comforting him.”
“So we know she’s safe and taken care of?” Daniel asked, and she nodded. “Good. Then why don’t we do something that you want to do?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. What do you like to do?”
“Um…” Her stomach rumbled, since crying always made her hungry. “I like eating breakfast.”
“That’s so weird.” Daniel grinned. “Because I like making French toast.”
“That works out, doesn’t it?”
Together, Harper and Daniel made breakfast. Her dad came in when he smelled it cooking, and the three of them ate together. It could’ve been a little awkward, but it wasn’t. Daniel was respectful and funny, and Brian seemed to like him.
She knew that when Daniel left, her dad would be full of inquiries about the nature of their relationship that she wasn’t prepared to answer. But it was still worth it.
TWENTY-ONE
The Island
Being on the island brought back memories. It had been far too long since either Harper or her father had been out to visit Bernie McAllister, so when Brian invited her to tag along with him that afternoon, she happily accepted.
With Gemma still over at Alex’s, it was just the two of them, and that was a bit of a shame, since Gemma had always liked Bernie, too. Although, to be fair, Harper had never been that sure if it was the old man or if she really just loved the island.
Brian had borrowed a boat from a friend to get there, and he pulled up to Bernie’s dock, which was almost hidden among the bald cypress trees that grew out into the water. There was a narrow path to the boathouse, but otherwise the island was almost overgrown with cypress trees and loblolly pines. The trees towering above them were nearly taller than the island was wide.
“Oy!” Bernie shouted.
Harper shielded her eyes from the bright sunlight that managed to break through the foliage, but she couldn’t see Bernie anywhere.
“Bernie?” Brian asked. He climbed off the boat first, onto the dock, then helped his daughter do the same.
“I thought that was you coming ’round there,” Bernie said, and Harper finally spotted him trotting down the path and waving hi
s hand. “I wasn’t expecting company today, but it’s a nice surprise.”
“I tried calling,” Brian said, “but the number didn’t work. Do you still have a phone out here?”
Bernie waved it off. “The storms were always taking it out, so I just got rid of it.”
“We aren’t intruding, are we?” Harper asked as she and her father walked down the dock to meet Bernie. “We don’t want to bother you.”
“Bother? Ha,” Bernie teased in his cockney English accent, “it’s never a bother getting a visit from a pretty girl such as yourself.” He winked at her then, making Harper laugh. “And your old man ain’t so bad, either.”
“So how have things been, Bernie?” Brian asked.
“Can’t complain, though I still do.” Bernie turned around to start leading them from the dock and gestured widely to the trees around them. “Come on. I’ll show you what I’ve done with the place. Things have changed since you’ve been here last.”
Nothing looked all that different to Harper as she followed Bernie up the worn path toward his house. Everything still smelled of pine and creeping Charlie, just the way she remembered it. As Bernie and her father talked about all the things they’d been up to over the last year or so, Harper wandered more slowly behind them, admiring the place from her childhood.
Since she’d been about twelve or so—the age at which her father started feeling safer about leaving her home alone in charge of Gemma—they’d come out to stay with Bernie less and less, but before that, it had been a home away from home.
Harper was certain that if she looked, she’d find the fort she and Gemma had built out of branches and old wood in the back, behind Bernie’s cabin. They’d secured it with nails and wood, and Bernie had promised to leave it for them always.
When they reached his cabin, she noted that it looked more worn than she remembered it, but it held up remarkably well for its age. Vines covered one side, with Bernie trimming them only around the windows.
As Bernie led them around to the back of the cabin, Harper finally discovered what the “big changes” were—he’d started a vegetable garden. A giant rosebush, covered in large violet blossoms, grew in the center. It was something his wife had planted just before she’d died, and until the vegetable garden, it was the only plant he really took care of.
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