“That’s wonderful!” Nathalie clapped her hands together.
“Yeah, but if I go with the mermaids, I’d have to leave him behind. I wouldn’t be able to see you anymore, either. I’d have to go away forever.”
“Oh.” She furrowed her brow. “Well. What happens if you stay? If you don’t go away with the mermaids?”
“I don’t know for sure. But I think…” Gemma took a deep breath. She didn’t want to tell her mother that she’d die because she had no idea how Nathalie would handle that information. “Something bad would happen to me.”
“So…” Nathalie’s face twisted in confusion as she tried to understand, and she chewed on a long strand of her hair. “If you go with the mermaids, you can swim around forever, but you wouldn’t be able to see me anymore, and you might have to do bad things.”
“Right.”
“But if you don’t go with them, something bad happens to you?” Nathalie asked, and Gemma nodded. “If you stay, will you still be able to visit me and see that boy you like?”
“I don’t know.” Gemma shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, then, I think you know what you need to do.”
“I do?”
“Yeah.” Nathalie nodded. “You have to go with them.”
“But I’ll have to hurt people,” Gemma reminded her.
“It doesn’t matter.” Nathalie shrugged. “You won’t get hurt. Either way, you don’t get to see me or your boyfriend anymore. So the choice really breaks down to being a mermaid or getting hurt. And you can’t get hurt.”
“I don’t know.” Gemma looked away from her. “I don’t think I could hurt people.”
“Gemma, listen to me. I’m your mother.” Nathalie took her hand and squeezed it emphatically. “I can’t take care of you anymore. I wish I could, but I know I can’t. So you have to take care of yourself.”
Gemma took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. But I probably won’t be able to come around anymore.”
“Because you’ll be off being a mermaid?” Nathalie asked.
“Yep.” Gemma nodded and blinked back tears. She hugged her mother then, knowing this would probably be the last time she ever saw her. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.” Nathalie hugged her back, but only for a second, because she couldn’t sit still for very long.
When Gemma left, Nathalie told all the staff that her daughter was leaving to become a mermaid.
TWENTY-THREE
Peace
If this was going to be her last night at home, Gemma wanted to make the most of it. She still hadn’t decided exactly what she would do, but she knew she couldn’t stay here anymore.
Even though she didn’t feel it, Gemma did her best to act cheery and happy. She spent the afternoon with her father in the garage, helping him fix her car. They never did manage to get the damn thing running, but that didn’t really matter. She’d just wanted to hang out with her dad.
While her dad got cleaned up, Gemma helped Harper make supper. Since she almost never helped with supper, Harper didn’t trust her at first. But eventually, when she saw that Gemma wasn’t trying to scam time off for good behavior, she warmed to the idea.
Dinner felt like the first family meal they’d had in ages. All three of them talked and laughed. Nobody mentioned Gemma’s recent ill behavior or the serial killer on the loose leaving dead boys in his wake. Those things still hung like dark clouds in the backs of their minds, but for one night, they went ignored.
“Harper, I can get that,” Gemma offered as Harper began loading the dishwasher after supper.
Their dad had retired to the living room, too full of the savory pork chops, and Gemma and Harper stayed behind in the kitchen. Gemma had put the leftover pork chops and red potatoes in a Tupperware container while Harper cleared the table.
“No, I got it. You’re putting supper away.” Harper rinsed off a plate in the sink before putting it in the dishwasher and gave Gemma an odd look. “What is going on with you?”
“What?”
“This.” Harper waved her hand at Gemma, accidentally flicking a few drops of water at her. “You’ve been sulking around the house for the past week, and today you’re suddenly happy and helpful?”
“I’m usually happy, aren’t I?” Gemma asked as she put the leftovers in the fridge. “And I’m sometimes helpful. It’s just lately I’ve been weird. So today I’m back to normal.”
“Okay?” Harper raised an eyebrow, as if she didn’t quite believe her sister. “What changed?”
Gemma shrugged and grabbed a wet rag from the sink. She went over to the kitchen table and started wiping it off.
“Was it something Mom said?” Harper pressed when Gemma didn’t answer her.
“Not really.” Gemma paused, thinking of how she wanted to phrase it. “I guess I realized that I should appreciate what I have.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Harper had finished loading the dishwasher, so she flipped it on, then turned back to face her sister. “What do you have?”
“What do you mean?” Gemma had wiped the table clean, so she moved on to the counters.
“You said you’re appreciating what you have. What exactly do you have?”
“Well, for starters, I have both my parents.” Gemma stopped washing the counter and leaned against it. “They’re both alive and mostly healthy, which is more than a lot of people can say. I know they both love me a lot, and Dad’s even willing to spend his days off futilely working on my piece-of-crap car.”
“Yeah, Dad’s a great guy. What about your sister?” Harper asked with a playful smile.
“My sister is a bossy, know-it-all control freak,” Gemma said, but she smiled at her. “But I know she’s just trying to protect me and watch out for me because she loves me so much. Probably too much.”
“That is true,” Harper admitted, giving Gemma a meaningful look.
“And sometimes it drives me nuts, but deep down I’ve always known that I was lucky to have someone who cared about me that much.” Gemma lowered her eyes. “I’ve been crazy lucky to have so many people who care about me and to have been blessed with so much … just so much of everything.”
Gemma shook her head and smiled sadly at her. “I just wanted you to know that I know that you’re awesome.”
For a moment they only looked at each other. Harper’s eyes were moist, and for a horrible second Gemma was certain she would cry. And if Harper cried, then Gemma would cry, and it would turn into a big blubbery mess, and she didn’t want that.
“Anyway.” Gemma picked up the rag and started wiping down the counter again.
“Why are you being so weird?” Harper asked, composing herself.
“I’m not trying to be weird.” Gemma had actually scrubbed the counter until it was spotless, or at least as clean as old, cracked laminate could be. But she kept doing it because then she could avoid looking at Harper.
“Is this because of what happened to Luke?” Harper asked, and Gemma stiffened.
“I don’t want to talk about that. Not tonight.” Swallowing hard, she turned back to face her sister and tossed the rag in the sink.
“Okay.” Harper leaned back against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Dad told me that Daniel came over for breakfast yesterday.”
Harper blushed and looked down, trying to get her dark hair to fall in her face and cover it up. But she only succeeded in making Gemma laugh.
“He just stopped by, and we happened to eat breakfast,” Harper said. “It was nothing.”
“Nothing?” Gemma arched a skeptical eyebrow. “Since when has Daniel just stopped by? I didn’t think you even liked him.”
“I don’t,” Harper insisted, but she wouldn’t even look at Gemma. “Why would I like him? I don’t even really know him. And he lives on a boat and doesn’t have a real job. And I barely know him. We’ve barely spoken.”
“Oh, my gosh, Harper.” G
emma rolled her eyes. “You like him, and from the way I’ve seen him put up with your crap, I’m guessing he likes you, too. What’s the big deal?”
“It isn’t a big deal. There’s no deal at all.” Harper squirmed under her sister’s accusation. “He’s nice, I guess, but I’m going away for college—”
“That’s over two months away,” Gemma said, cutting her off before Harper could launch into her going-away-for-college routine. “Nobody’s suggesting you marry the guy. Just have some fun. Summer romance. Live a little.”
“I’m not not living.” Harper tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry if I don’t see the point in fooling around with some guy for a few weeks. If I weren’t leaving in the fall, it would be different.”
“No, it wouldn’t,” Gemma corrected her. “Before this, you couldn’t date because you had to take care of me or keep your grades up for school. Now it’s because you’ll be leaving for college, and once you’re at college you won’t have time for a relationship until after you graduate, and then you won’t have time because you’re looking for a job, and then it’ll be something else.”
“Well…” Harper twisted her ring on her finger. “All those things are true.”
“Not really. Lots of other people somehow manage to go to school and have a life,” Gemma said. “Everything I listed there, those are just excuses.”
“Concentrating on school is a valid life decision,” Harper argued. “We didn’t have money for college, and if I hadn’t worked my butt off to get that scholarship, I wouldn’t have been able to go.”
“No, I know.” Gemma sighed. “But you’ve been using both me and school as a shield to keep you from getting close to people. I’m not always gonna be around to act as a buffer. Someday you need to have real relationships with other people or you’ll risk ending up alone.”
“Wow.” Harper laughed darkly. “You make me sound like an old maid.”
“No, you’re not. I don’t think that, even. I just … all I’m saying is that maybe spending some time with Daniel this summer wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”
It wasn’t until she’d said it that Gemma realized what she was doing. She was trying to take care of Harper. If Gemma left tonight, she needed to know that her sister wouldn’t be alone, that she’d have someone to lean on. Harper didn’t think she needed anyone, but she did, and apparently Daniel had seen through her act and knew it, too.
Without thinking, Gemma went over and hugged her sister. Startled and confused, Harper just stood there for a second, then wrapped her arms around Gemma and hugged her back.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you,” Harper said. “But I think I like it.”
After they finished cleaning up the kitchen, Harper went upstairs to read a book, the way she usually did after supper. Gemma stayed down in the living room, watching TV with her dad for a little while. When he got up to go to bed, Gemma hugged him and told him she loved him.
Harper usually stayed up pretty late reading. Gemma had to wait until after she fell asleep to leave, but she pretended to go to bed. Not that she could sleep. The watersong always seemed to get worse at night, and it had kept her awake almost the whole night before.
She kept her bedroom door open, staring at the crack of light coming out from under Harper’s door. When it finally clicked off, signifying that Harper was going to bed, Gemma waited another half hour just to be safe.
Without turning on her own light, she crept around her room. Her backpack hung on her closet door, and she started filling it with her personal belongings. It was hard to know what to bring, though.
She wasn’t even certain that she would go off with the sirens. She just knew she couldn’t stay here. If she chose to die, she didn’t want her family to see that. It would be better if they just thought she’d run away. Then they could imagine she was alive out there somewhere.
The only thing she could really do for her family was leave them with some hope.
In the end, she decided on a few clothes and the picture of herself, Harper, and her mom from next to her bed. She carefully pulled the photo from the frame and tucked it into a plastic bag. Everything else she left behind in her room.
Before going, she paused at her bedroom door and thought of writing a note. But what would she possibly say? What could she tell them?
Gemma stepped outside, closing the back door behind her as quietly as she could. She glanced next door at Alex’s house, where his bedroom light glowed. The window was open, and she could hear the faint sounds of whatever music he was listening to.
All day long Gemma had been working on getting her life in order, but she’d purposely avoided seeing Alex. It was hard enough leaving her sister and her dad. She didn’t think she could handle talking to Alex.
So she put her head down and walked across the lawn. She cut through his backyard, because it was the quickest way to the bay. The watersong got even louder when she was outside, begging her to swim.
“Gemma!” Alex said from behind her, and she heard his screen door slam. Gemma just kept walking, though, so he chased after her. “Gemma!”
“Shh!” She whirled around. If she didn’t talk to him, he’d make enough noise to wake up her sister. “What are you doing out here?”
“I saw you from the window.” He’d stopped a few feet from her. “What are you doing out here?”
“I’m sorry. I have to leave.”
“You shouldn’t be out here alone, not with the killer on the loose.” He took a step back toward his house. “I’ll go get my shoes and I’ll come with you.”
“No, Alex.” She shook her head. “I’m leaving for good.”
“What?” Even in the dim moonlight, she could see the hurt and confusion on his face. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know, but you can’t come with me.”
“What?” He stepped toward her, and when he did, she stepped back.
“Alex, I can’t do this.”
“What?” Alex asked. “What can’t you do?”
“Say good-bye to you.” She swallowed back tears and tried to ignore the pain in her heart.
“Then don’t,” he said simply. “Stay here, with me.”
“No, I can’t.” She started to step back, and he followed her, saying her name. “No, Alex. You can’t come with. I don’t want you to.”
“Gemma, if something’s wrong I can help.”
“No.” She shook her head and realized that the only way she’d stop him was if she hurt him. “You don’t get it, Alex. I don’t want you. I don’t even like you. You’re boring and lame. I was just using you because you had a car, but … I don’t want you anymore.”
His whole face fell. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” she insisted. “So leave me alone. I don’t want to see you ever again.”
She turned and bolted away from him. With her broken heart pounding in her chest, Gemma pushed herself as fast as she could.
Tears blurred her vision, but it didn’t matter. She didn’t need to see where she was going anyway. The sea called to her, telling her exactly where she needed to go.
TWENTY-FOUR
Monsters
When Gemma hit the water, the song finally stopped. Her legs turned to a tail, and she breathed in deeply.
Transforming into her mermaid form had silenced the watersong, and she closed her eyes, listening for the sirens. She couldn’t hear them, not exactly, but she could feel them. The sirens drew her to them, the same way the ocean did.
If they hadn’t had that connection, Gemma probably never would’ve found the sirens. Instead of going to the cove like she’d thought she would, Gemma found herself pulled out to sea, to Bernie’s Island a few miles off Anthemusa Bay.
Before Gemma had even surfaced, she heard the loud music blasting. It was Ke$ha, and that didn’t seem like something Bernie would listen to.
Gemma pulled herself up onto the dock, which was more difficult than it sounded since
she couldn’t use her fish tail to help her. From that vantage point, she could see Bernie’s cabin through the trees, all lit up like a lighthouse.
Once her tail had returned to her usual leggy form, Gemma rummaged through her backpack and pulled on clothes. They were soaking wet, but it was better than being naked.
She walked along the dock to the trail that wound up to Bernie’s cabin. The windows were wide open, so the music came blaring out at full volume. Gemma snuck up to them, wanting to see what they were doing before she went in.
Lexi was jumping up and down on the couch, doing some kind of weird dance move. Her mouth moved along with the lyrics, but no words came out.
Rummaging through a cupboard nearby was Thea. The whole cabin looked ransacked, and by the way Thea went through stuff and tossed it around, it was obvious why. Gemma couldn’t tell if Thea was looking for anything in particular or not.
Neither Penn nor Bernie was anywhere to be seen, so Gemma crept around the cabin to another window, hoping she could see more from there.
“I’m glad you decided to join us,” Penn said, and Gemma jumped back. Penn had somehow come up right beside her, and Gemma hadn’t heard her.
Penn smiled at her, and Gemma hurried to compose herself. The last thing in the world she wanted was for Penn to know how much she’d scared her.
“I haven’t decided anything yet,” Gemma replied coolly, and Penn only smiled wider.
“Oh!” Lexi exclaimed inside the cabin. “Is Gemma here?” The music stopped short, so the only sounds came from the ocean around them and the wind through the trees.
“Come inside.” Penn took a step backward, then turned around and went into the cabin. Swallowing hard, Gemma followed her.
Lexi had gotten down off the couch, but Thea continued her searching. She crouched in front of the sink, pulling out containers of Comet and drain cleaner.
“Thea, I think it’s safe to assume there’s nothing valuable under the sink,” Penn said as she carefully stepped over all the things Thea’d tossed on the kitchen floor.
Wake (Watersong Novels) Page 20
