—Proverbs 15:33
February 3, 1995
Dear John Hughes!
Hello. My name is Alex. I’m friend of Joyce. I want some ask you. How are you? How’s your life? I hope you and your family feel good. And I hope all goes well. I want tell you. Thank you so much for help. I’m very glad you like help me. What you can found for me hi school. God can be heard my pray for him. Tell me more about you and your family. Because I know just you. Joyce tell me what you have two children. If you can, give me please your pictures about you and your family. I want tell you God bless you and your family. Have my questions finish about you. Now ask question yours. What you want some know about me. Ok?
Russian people called me Alexander. I was born in 1977 year, 6 December. Now I’m 17 years and 3 months. When I was born my mom ran from me. My pape ran from me when I was born before. He is don’t like children. He is just sleep with my mother and then he is gone. I don’t love my mother and father. You know what? When I was baby I need in mother and father love. But nobody can gave me this wonderful love. Because mother and father love just alone. What like all children who need in love. In a three year old it’s my first time go to children’s house. In this house was not very good.
And I don’t remember nothing. I’m so sorry. And then I move another place. To another children’s house N51. I move to another place when I was 9 years old. I live in this children’s house N51 10 years. It’s a long time. And it’s this school I can live this last year. So start my new problems. Because I ran from my school. I go outside on the street to difficult hard life in St. Petersburg. I have a big problem about Army. I don’t want to go to Army. If I go to Army I need go to Chechna. I think so what you know about war in Chechna. You know all people who go to war in Chechna they not back. All people died on the field. But I don’t want to died. I want live long time. And now every day I go to school. In my school I study many different lessons. My school go not bad. But I don’t like Algebra and Geometry. And so Geometry and Algebra go not bad too. Tell me please what you need and want from me know for hi school in America. I want tell you what I’m ready go to America to hi school. You need just tell me what I need to do. Joyce tell me what hi school go one year and then I need back to Russia. I will. I need pray for God about that. God help me and you in us plan. I hope you can understand my letter. You know just one thing I want tell you how I invited Jesus come to my life and heart. First time when I was with American people from Tennessee. They come to Russia 4 years the go. They talked about God. They sing of song and read the Bible and pray for God. I very like how they do id this. I ask some people who can help me. How God can come to my heart. And give me his holy spirit. This people they pray for me to God and then after that my life change. God gave me his holy spirit. And I’m start read the Bible and go to church. Then I was with first comishion. Then Sam and Pam Rhine and Joyce, Bob, Rita, Rond and Kristi this last 3 teams from America with who I work and greetings. Now I’m study bible every Tuesday in evening. I study Bible with Bob and Rita Lyons. When I meeting with Joyce we just talk and pray for God and about God. Now I pray every minutes. And God help me. Because he love me and everybody on the world. I pray now too much. I pray, pray, pray for God. I’m sorry here my letter finish. God help you! God bless you! God love you!
Your best friend, Alex.
Please write me a letter. Tell me with news you have for me. I hope everything be wonderful. Good-bye! With love from Russia. See you soon. Write me a letter or some days call to Russia.
I am pleased to report my English has gotten a lot better over the last sixteen years! But even with the halting English, that letter paints a good picture of me as I was on the threshold of heading to America for the first time.
Before I left for the United States I went for a week’s visit with my friends Erkki and Salme, the Finnish missionaries with whom I had stayed in touch. They sent me money for my ticket and the morning after my graduation I hopped on a bus for the ten-hour journey to Finland. I had never been outside of Russia before. The border patrol gave me a hard time because I only had a United States visa, but I made it through. Erkki and Salme did not speak Russian, and I barely spoke English, much less Finnish, but we managed to spend a delightful week together.
I was amazed when the bus crossed the border at how clean Finland was. The dark, drab colors of Russia gave way to green, mowed grass, spotless streets, and bright colors.
My next culture shock was when Salme took me to a Western grocery store for the first time. At that time there was nothing like a supermarket in Russia. It was truly amazing to see the dazzling array of food—and the quantity! And there were no lines to get in, you just entered the store when you needed to go. In Russia it was common to stand in any line you saw, even if you didn’t know what it was for, because it might be something you needed.
The entire population of Finland was only as many as St. Petersburg—about five million. The town Erkki and Salme lived in was just fifty thousand people, and it seemed like all of them were tall, blond, and blue-eyed. At five-eight, dark haired, and with brown eyes, I stuck out a bit and we got plenty of second glances from people passing by.
In addition to the other differences I was noticing about life in Finland, I noted how quiet the streets were in the evening. People in Finland are very family oriented and most spend their evenings at home. I couldn’t enjoy television, since it was all in Finnish, and in those days I didn’t enjoy reading very much. Tomi, my hosts’ son, who spoke some English, taught me to play video games, so I spent most evenings on the computer with him.
A week after I arrived they loaded me up with some food and some money and put me back on the bus to St. Petersburg. I will never forget the harsh contrast when I returned to my home country. It seemed even more drab, dark, crowded, and dirty than I remembered.
My orphanage friends Ed, Sveta, and Maria, along with Melana, all came to the airport a few days later to see me off to America. It was hard to say goodbye, especially to Melana, but I knew that I would be back in a year’s time. My departure was made easier by knowing that my friends were all in good hands. Before Melana’s husband died, they lived in a communal flat. She had worked hard the past year to ensure that Edik received his own room in a communal flat upon graduation. She then exchanged her own room for one in the same building as Ed’s, so they now lived in the same apartment building and she was there to feed and care for Ed (we always knew he was her favorite!). Sveta inherited a three-room apartment from her uncle who had passed away. By Russian standards she was now “wealthy.” Maria received a room in a communal flat in another region of the city, but she had become friends with Nina, one of the night shift caretakers at the orphanage, and I knew that Nina was watching out for her. Nina would often have Maria over to her apartment for meals. With my friends in good hands, I was ready to see America!
I was traveling with Joyce Bourcier, who had initiated my American trip in the first place and whom Melana had signed off on as my temporary guardian, and Bob and Rita Lyon. We had to spend the night in London. I had never flown on an airplane, nor had I been to London. It was all very exciting. The Lyons were taking a different flight to America than Joyce and I, so we bid them goodbye and departed for Chicago.
We had just enough time to get through immigration services at O’Hare before we had to board another plane, this one to Tucson. In total, Joyce and I were in the air for twenty-six hours. By the time we landed in Arizona, my fascination with flying had definitely worn off.
At the airport the Hughes family were all waiting to greet us: John, his wife Thompson, and their two sons, Justin and Cole. They were holding balloons and a teddy bear for me and had a sign that read,
“WELCOME TO AMERICA, ALEX!”
After John had read the letter that I had written him he thought he would need to hire a translator for me, at least for a time. On the trip home in the car from the airport I talked non-stop. John decided they didn’t need a translator after all.
Thomp
son and John Hughes
Eighty-five degrees is about the hottest it ever gets in St. Petersburg. My initial impression of Arizona was how hot it was—Tucson welcomed me with one hundred five degree temperatures. That first day, everything was new. I had never seen the desert, lizards, or cactus—and some of these cacti were ten-feet tall with six-inch needles. We were riding in a Chevy Suburban, by far the largest vehicle I had ever been in.
John and Thompson’s house was the largest house I had ever seen. I woke up in the middle of the night that first night, freezing cold. “Where the heck is this cold air coming from?” I wondered. That, too, was a first: in my seventeen years I had never experienced air conditioning.
Even though we all knew this was a temporary arrangement for only one year, the Hugheses treated me like part of the family. It was certainly a new experience for me when John Hughes called me “son.” Even more significant was the fact that Thompson Hughes gave me a kiss each night before I headed off to bed. While most American boys would be mortified to have their mother kiss them, this seventeen-year-old Russian orphan cherished the gesture, along with my new teddy bear that I slept with each night.
I found out later why they had thought to give me the teddy bear. Joyce, it seems, had written Mrs. Hughes before we left, in order to give her an idea of what she could expect having me live with her family.
Dear Thompson,
I’m sitting in a café in the most beautiful park in the world (at least that I’ve ever seen), Catherine’s Summer Palace and gardens in Pushkin. I came just to walk around the park to just “be” with the Lord, a skill I’m trying to learn. I’m a far better “doer.” Ever since I saw your family photo, I’ve been thinking about you and even more as the time of our meeting gets closer.
As a mother, I have tried to put myself in your place. It’s one thing to take an infant into your home and quite another to bring in a teenager. I have really had you on my heart all week thinking about how you must feel.
The other day I wasn’t feeling well and it was a holiday. Alex came over in the afternoon and watched a movie with me. He picked up my roommate’s teddy bear and sat down on the sofa. He’s told me how much he really likes “toys.” I think he means stuffed animals. He’s not compelled to carry them around, but really likes them. It would be special if you were to shop around and find a really great teddy bear for him. This would be very special.
I’ve thought of how I would describe Alex to you. I’ve been with him quite a bit. I’ve seen him happy, hurt and upset. I’ve spoken at length to a teacher who has known him since he was a young boy. Alex is a self-conscious, sensitive young man. He has never asked me for money and has never deceived me. Now, I’m not naive and know that going to America is a high priority to him, but he’s not been dishonest. I’ve entrusted him with money and sent him on errands. His teacher (Melana) also believes him to be responsible. He is tidy and concerned about his appearance. He is self-conscious about his teeth, but with John’s skills I’m sure that will improve. Although he is 17, emotionally he is much younger.
He will need your love and understanding more than anything. I believe that God has given you those qualities. After I saw your picture, your family with my life verses on the card, I am more assured that God has chosen you to give him the nurturing he needs and you too will be blessed. He is naive in many ways but he may not show it. An example was when I took him to buy shoes. I didn’t realize that he had never gone shopping for shoes. I’m sure you will be surprised by much and yet find this to be a very rewarding experience. You, John and the boys (all of them) are in my prayers. Keep your trust in the Lord and nothing will overcome you.
Both Alex and I are ready for some warmer climate. Arizona is really looking good. Today is May 16th but it is only in the 50’s. Alex really loved your letter. We are both looking forward to meeting soon.
Richest Blessings and Love, Joyce
Proverbs 3:5–7
As Joyce’s letter implied, I ended up in the home of an endodontist. Talk about God’s perfect planning! Joyce was right: I was self-conscious about my teeth. John Hughes was shocked by the condition of my mouth, and began, almost immediately, the long process of restoration. He performed five root canals on me and then referred me to a general dentist friend of his. Prior to that, I had never even been taught how to brush or floss my teeth (in fact, I had never even heard of dental floss).
About two weeks after arriving in Arizona, John, his sons Justin and Cole, and I all flew to Seattle for a Promise Keepers men’s conference. I was fascinated by the beautiful hotel we stayed in, as well as by the mass of men—some sixty thousand of them—gathered in a stadium to praise and worship the Lord. I had never been in a crowd like that.
We went to an upscale Italian restaurant for dinner on the first night and I was amazed at the menu with its pages and pages of choices. I had been to a few restaurants in Russia with my Navigator friends, but in the Russian restaurants the menus were single pages with just two or three choices.
My American hosts’ sense of humor, and especially their sarcasm, was new to me. Justin and Cole told me that it was the custom to pay for your meal by offering to wash dishes. Taking them at their word, I rolled up my sleeves and told the waiter that I was ready to hit the sinks. I was so mad when I found out the boys were kidding me that I didn’t speak to them for the rest of the night and refused to sleep in the same room with them. My “brothers” still ended up having the last laugh, as getting any actual sleep in their father’s room proved impossible. I had never heard a grown man’s snoring before, and it kept me up all night!
Tucson and Seattle were not the only places I visited that summer. I had tried my best to keep up with the dozens of missionaries I had met over the past few years in St. Petersburg. (I should point out that many of the people I call “missionaries” were not full-time missionaries but lay people who had volunteered to do short-term missions projects in Russia.) Two of them, Scott and Carol Perry, lived in Connecticut and they invited me to visit them there. Scott commuted to New York City every day and he took me into the city for a wonderful day of sightseeing. But the most unusual experience on that trip was back in Connecticut.
One day I went with Carol to a Bible study and met a woman named Patti. At church that Sunday I saw Patti again and met her two daughters. Patti invited me over for lunch. Beyond the gated drive was Patti’s home, a mansion, unlike anything I had ever seen. We had a nice visit and while I was there I met Patti’s husband, an unusual looking man named Keith.
When Carol came to pick me up after lunch, she asked, “Do you have any idea who you just had lunch with?”
“Yes,” I said. “Keith and Patti Richards.” That’s when Carol explained to me that Patti had been a super model and Keith was the Keith Richards, of Rolling Stones fame.
Later that summer I had the opportunity to go for a week to the Navigators’ summer camp for high school kids in Colorado Springs at Eagle Lake. I am sorry to say that I was not at my best on that trip. We hiked about fifteen miles a day and I became known as the whiner and complainer. I complained about the heat, the heavy pack, my sore feet, and the (in my mind) purposelessness of the endless walking. I was a city boy, and this walking around with forty pounds on your back was crazy to me. It’s pretty funny, as I look back on it, considering all I had been through—including walking much further distances in much worse weather—that I would be the one to complain.
At the end of our time on the trail we did something called a “solo.” Each of us kids had to take our own pack into the woods by ourselves and camp overnight, spending twelve hours alone with the Lord. I was not at all excited about this. I didn’t like the idea of being out in the bear-laden woods alone for the night. I was comforted that I was only about two hundred yards from the camp, and I could see the campfire in the distance.
Not very interested in the exercise, I promptly set up my little camp and went to bed. Because I had turned in so early, I awoke before the
sun arose the next morning. I watched it rise over the Rocky Mountains and was moved by the splendor. For two hours I prayed, read Scripture, and sang. It turned out to be a wonderful experience, one that my know-it-all attitude almost spoiled. By the end of the camp, despite all of my grumbling and complaining, I had to admit to the group that the trip had been great. In retrospect I hope my whiny attitude did not hurt the other kids’ enjoyment of it.
Thanks to Americans I had met in Russia, my summer tour of their amazing country continued. I was able to visit friends in California, where for the first time I had the opportunity to share my life story with a gathering held for that purpose. I sensed right away that there was something very different in their reaction than in that of Russians. Russians, especially during the Soviet time, all had their own struggles, and as a result, most of them had little time or sympathy for someone else’s struggle. There was a sort of life-is-tough-get-over-it attitude from most. I was very moved by this experience of telling my life story to a room full of compassionate American Christians.
America was fascinating to me, from the profound (the response to my story) to the mundane (twenty-four hour forecasting on the Weather Channel—I could watch it for days!). Seeing the ocean for the first time and the power and miracle of creation in the crashing waves before me was another profound experience. Long, hot showers and shopping malls were other American habits I quickly became used to.
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