by Martha Woods
“Damon…” I pushed myself off the couch, walking towards him slowly with my arms out, trying to make myself seem as non-threatening as I could. I wouldn’t think that would be that hard, but I also didn’t think that I would ever have to be worried about terrifying someone that I was hopelessly in love with, it never crossed my mind that I could ever be capable of that, intentionally or not. “Come on, what’s wrong? I know that things might seem scary right now but… we’re both here for you, do you understand? Whatever it is that we did, we just want to fix it.”
“I don’t know how you can possibly fix this, I don’t even know what this is!” Ringing his hands through his hair, he sighed before letting his head fall back. “I just… don’t know what to do, I haven’t known what to do for years now. If you can tell me something, anything, then please do, because I’m all out of ideas. I’m dead in the water.”
“Is it alright if I sit next to you Damon? I can stay here if you want but-”
“Yeah, yeah it’s alright.” He nodded, flicking his head at the spot next to him. “What else can we do right? I mean I’m not even sure what it is that I’m afraid of, how do we even think of a way to fix that?”
“That’s why you’ve been disappearing so often?” Vincent asked, “Why whenever we wake up you’re always gone before we can say goodbye? You’re afraid?”
“That’s right, and honestly… it’s not even helping. I figured that if I was on my own I could have some time to think, maybe being next to the two of you was clouding the way that I thought, if I just cleared my mind then I could think of a solution for all of this. But it didn’t work.”
“Why not?”
“Whenever I’m with the two of you I’m terrified for no reason at all, and when I’m away from you I’m terrified because I think I’m going to lose you, all it did was give me a reason to be afraid that I can actually recognize. That’s kind of an improvement, but not much of one right?”
“So if you know you’re scared of losing us when you leave,” I asked cautiously, “Then what’s different when you’re here? What makes that fear so different that you can actually recognize it, but makes it such a mystery when you’re here?”
“I don’t know,” He sighed, “For all I know it’s the exact same fear, it wouldn’t surprise me. My mind has been so scattered ever since I first met you two, so much shit has happened and we’ve all almost died so many times… fuck, I did die, no kidding I’m a little confused about everything that’s going on. You think there’s a chance that I have brain damage?”
“I think it’s probably likely, but in the same way that boxers probably have it, you’ll have gotten it before all of this.” Vincent smirked at Damon’s look of displeasure. “Don’t make that face, you spend your entire life actively fighting and a little brain damage is pretty much guaranteed. At least now you don’t have to worry about it getting worse.”
“I still have no idea how all of this works, I thought that I knew the ways that vampires functioned but actually being one is completely different. The headaches, the cravings… I still feel hungry, even though I don’t need to eat anymore, what’s up with that?”
“It’s a carryover from when you were still human, it fades after a few years but… even I’ve noticed it starting to come back in me, maybe it only goes away because you start thinking that you’re more of a monster than anything else. What I’ve also been noticing is that all the feelings that we’ve considered ourselves lost from, love, happiness, it’s all started coming back. All we had for the longest time was hate and anger, but I think that was only because we’d torn ourselves away from the human world, we only let ourselves be exposed to the very worst that came after us…” Glancing at our blank expressions, Vincent chuckled to himself and waved his hand, “What I’m trying to say is… this is a very confusing time for a lot of vampires, vampires who spent centuries not feeling any of this are now waking up to find themselves crushed under a wave of things that they had thought lost to them, feelings and expressions and sensations that were the realm of the impossible. You’re not alone in being confused and afraid Damon, you need to know that.”
“I’m definitely confused and afraid Vincent, but now I’m confused for an entirely different reason.” Smiling and shaking his head, Damon brushed his hand against Vincent’s. “Thank for… trying to make me feel better. I still don’t have any idea what it is that I’m doing but… maybe it’s not going to be so bad to figure out. After all, I’ve really got nothing but time, right?”
“Yeah, when you live forever you tend to stop worrying about how long something is going to take, all that matters is that you still want it to happen and eventually it will.” Reaching down, he held his hand out to Damon and gestured for him to take it. “Now come on, get your ass up, and come enjoy the night with us will you? We’ve got one hell of a thing coming up on us soon, this might be the last chance that we have to relax for a while.”
“That sounds…” He grinned. “Yeah, that sounds ok actually, I think I’d like that.”
With Vincent holding onto one hand and me holding onto the other, it wasn’t so hard for Damon to walk back to the couch, and not long after that it wasn’t hard for us to guide him back to the bed. For the first time in days it felt like he was actually truly relaxed, that he was finally starting to trust us properly after so long not being able to for reasons unknown to even him. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, what we were going to have to do tomorrow or even what I was going to be thinking when I woke up, but what I did know was this: As long as I have the two of them by my side, there’s nothing that I won’t be able to do, and it’s the same for them.
Chapter 7
When I opened my eyes again I was almost certain that I was going to be staring at the wall again, the bed still barely warm but tragically unoccupied on one side, my arm resting on empty space where there had only hours before been a loved one. But that’s not what happened, not tonight, tonight when my vision cleared and I looked to my side I was greeted by the still sleeping form of Damon, his chest still rising and falling from what I could only guess was habit, eyes flicking back and forth between their lids from whatever dream it was that he was in the middle of.
It had been so long since I’d seen him sleep so peacefully, it had been rare even before he had died and come back but since then… well, you could hardly blame him for being on edge could you? I could only imagine the kinds of things that came to his mind when he let his guard down, with the life he had led I’m sure they weren’t lacking for opportunity. I don’t even know if I would ever go to sleep again in his position, the mere fact that he was trusting us enough to let himself be this vulnerable almost melted my heart.
“You sleep,” I whispered to myself, placing a kiss against his forehead, “I have a few things that I need to sort out on my own right now.”
Slipping out of bed, I almost jumped at the feeling of cold wood under my feet, but soon enough I was standing and ready to go do what I had to do. There had been a few things about that meeting with Anthony that had weirded me out, some details that felt shifty or… not quite right. And the way that he’d looked at us sometimes… I don’t know for sure, maybe I’m just being paranoid, but it looked like he knew something that we didn’t. Maybe it’s something, maybe it’s nothing, but I don’t want to take the chance and have it be something that could really bite us in the ass when we least expect it. What we need right now is a distinct lack of ass biting, and to ensure that I need to have all the answers that I can.
“And just where are you going?” I froze at the voice, though thankfully it wasn’t Damon’s. He needed all the rest that he could get and I didn’t want to interrupt that. “I thought that you wanted the three of us to spend some time together.”
I turned, matching Vincent’s gaze and sighing gently, “There’s something that I need to check out, alone. I don’t want you two to be worrying about me or anything like that, just let him rest and watch over him for me
, would you?” Seeing that he was suitably and understandably unimpressed, I shook my head. “I’m sorry, but this is just really important and I can’t let it wait. Can you please just stay here and make sure that he’s alright? I’m not asking because I want you two out of the way, I just want you two to be ok, do you understand?”
Groaning, he let his body fall back into the mattress with a nod. “Yes, I understand. But if something comes up and you’re in danger I need you to call both of us right away, no excuses, no hesitation, you pick up the phone and you tell us exactly where you are. We’ll be there to help you out with an ‘I told you so’ at the ready.”
“I will, I will,” I said, smiling as I walked over to him, “Thank you.”
I pressed my lips against his, taking a moment to enjoy the warmth before pulling back and stepping out of the room, this really couldn’t wait any longer and I had to make sure that everything was in order. Far more things than just me were counting on it.
“Be careful,” He called after me softly, “After everything that we talked about, don’t throw yourself into meaningless danger.”
I couldn’t really say that’s what I was doing, but I couldn’t deny it either. All I could do was grab my coat and start making my way towards the bar.
Answers were definitely waiting for me there.
* * *
The bell on the door dinged in the silence, to this day I still don’t know why they have a bell on the door but given the relative silence that some paranormals could move with I suppose I couldn’t blame them.
Looking around the bar I tried to make out the slumped over form of Anthony, that was how I had met him previously so it only stood to reason that’s how I would find him tonight. Imagine my surprise when I saw him upright in the corner, half a glass of whiskey still in front of him but his face alight with clarity, our eyes meeting from across the bar and his had coming up to wave me over. “Come and sit down,” He called, “No sense in shouting across the bar all night!”
“Shut the fuck up Anthony,” The bartender barked, flicking their thumb at me and saying, “Just hurry up and get over there, he’s a pain in the ass until he gets what he wants.”
“You got it,” I chuckled, walking across the not quite sticky floor towards the corner booth, surprised and with my guard up now that I knew that Anthony was very much sober. It was such a change from how I’d seen him the first time that I was wondering if the entire thing was an act, though the more likely solution was that he just hadn’t gotten fully started yet. Still, I had a scar across my stomach and an undead boyfriend that were proof that you shouldn’t ever let your guard down, not really.
“You’re looking good,” He said, his eyes falling down my legs for the briefest of moments before he snapped them back up, shaking his head and chastising himself, “Sorry, it’s pretty obvious that you’re taken, I won’t do that again.”
“It’s not a crime to look,” I said, “Just make sure that you keep your hands to yourself and we’ll be just fine. Were you expecting me?”
“I had a feeling that you were going to come back here sometime, you look like the type who’s always looking for answers no matter what, with something as big as all of this there’s no way that you wouldn’t want to make sure that everything is on the level.” Taking a sip of his drink, he smiled. “So go ahead, ask your questions. I’ll answer all of them honestly, I promise.”
“Alright…” I glanced down at his glass, seeing that it wasn’t the only one on the table. “Were you actually drunk last time, or was that just an act to get us to let our guards down?”
“A little of both. Spend enough time sitting here tonight and I’ll be just as drunk, plus it’s always a good way to get people to treat you less seriously. They’re much more open that way, I learned that as a teenager.”
“Are these shifters really as bad as you say? What did your group do that made them come so adamantly after you? There were so many other groups involved in pushing them out, what did you do that was so bad that you’re their main target?”
“Hmm…” He tapped his chin in thought, clearly considering his answers. “I know that you don’t really have any real reason to trust me, but I can tell you to a certainty that they really are that bad. The things that they did when they had free reign of the place, it would chill your blood just hearing about it, let alone seeing it. As for what we did… I honestly have no idea, and that is the truth. We did just as much to them as anyone else did, fought just as hard and lost just as many people, whatever it is that happened to make them hate us so much, I have no clue.”
“This isn’t making it any easier to trust you.”
“I know it’s not, but that’s the problem isn’t it? I’m not going to be able to get you to trust me unless I tell you something earth shattering, something that would just blow everything out of the water and make everything else just pale in comparison. If I just keep telling you the truth then it’s going to seem like I’m lying, because most of the time the truth is boring.”
“Alright… what were you doing in the city then? There are so many other places that you could go, you could have just left the country by now, why come all the way down here? Not just that, why stay here months before any of your people even think about moving? This wasn’t some spur of the moment thing, you were clearly down here for some other reason, weren’t you?”
Pausing with his glass at his lips, he grinned slowly. “Now we’re getting somewhere, aren’t we? Glad that you noticed that, I’ve honestly been pretty annoyed that no one else picked up on it.”
“So I am right, you are here for another reason…” Under the table, my hand clenched around the hilt of my knife. If things went bad I could be faster than anyone expected, but it would still be close, I didn’t have any idea how formidable of an opponent he would be, but judging by the ease he was carrying himself with while he told me these things he wasn’t lacking for confidence in his abilities. “Why are you here Anthony? What’s in this city that has your attention?”
“There’s a lot of things, it was part of why I left the clan behind a while ago to go travelling. The sights, the sounds, things that the big city offers that you just can’t get out in the boondocks, I’d been thirsting for it for a while and decided to strike out on my own. I was about halfway across the country when I heard some chattering, and after that I made my way here about… six months ago I’d say.”
“Six months? Damon said you’d only been here one, maybe two tops.”
“I’m a pretty good spy Amy, I don’t make myself known unless I want to be known, which is why you can rest assured that I’m on the level here. If I meant any of you harm, if I meant Damon any harm, I would have done it and you wouldn’t have ever known that I existed.”
“Then why? What’s so important that you’d make your way into our city and just stay in the shadows all this time?”
“You’re not asking the right question Amy. I’ll give you a hint…” Anthony leaned in, the leather of his jacket squeezing tightly around his arms and his eyes piercing into my soul. “Maybe it’s not what is important to me, maybe it’s who…”
“Who…” My eyes widened, he’d first made himself known to Damon, he’d mentioned him before… what other options were there?
He settled back in his seat, draining the rest of his glass and raising his hand for another. “What do you really know about where he came from?”
