by Rosanna Leo
Even now in the outdoors, in full view of anyone who cared to watch, she could do it again and again.
“We can’t right now,” she said, taking a bracing breath. “I promised to visit my mom.”
“I know. Luke and I have business as well.”
Luke had called Fleur to say today was a good day to reconnect with Barbi. Her mother had been drug-free for days now and she’d experienced the cathartic pain of remorse. Barbi had expressed her desire to speak with her daughter.
Luke and Jani had decided to take the opportunity to scour the mainland for Breckenridge, a plan which terrified Fleur. Just as the mate bond drove her to physical excess, needing her mate’s touch on an almost-constant basis, it also caused her anxiety. The idea of him getting hurt, or worse, caused her temples to throb.
“Please don’t go,” she spoke into his shirt. Her forlorn wolf echoed her sentiment, nudging Jani’s tiger with its head.
He caressed her cheek. “We have to. Breckenridge needs to be stopped. Look what he’s done to your family and countless others. I won’t let him get away with it. I promise we’ll be safe.”
“I want to go too.”
“No, my flower. You need to speak with your mother. It’s just as important.”
Fleur wrapped her arms around Jani, gripped by sudden terror. Perhaps it was merely the mate bond driving her crazy, but she couldn’t shake the feeling this embrace might be their last. Surely God wouldn’t be so cruel as to take Jani away the minute they’d found each other?
August Crane’s foul spirit chose that moment to manifest. As if you could hold onto that tiger anyway. Please. He’s probably leaving the island because he’s already bored with you. He sniffed. Look at him. He’s been around the block a few times. Do you honestly think you can show him any new tricks? He’s just waiting for the right moment to toss you into the gutter, where you belong.
“No,” she said on a breath. Her imaginary self shoved at Crane’s ghost but couldn’t seem to dislodge him from his pedestal of judgment and ridicule.
Jani, proving himself just as strong as Crane, forced her to look at him. “Don’t listen to that dead wretch. Listen to me. I love you, Fleur, and I’ll never leave you.”
“You heard all of that?” Shame warmed her face. He must think she was nuts.
“You’re not nuts.” His face tightened. “Does he always talk to you that way when you see him?”
She nodded.
“I will find a way to get Crane out of your head, I swear it. Even if it means I have to resurrect that meddling piece of shit just to kill him again. I will help you fight him. Do you hear me?”
“Yeah.” For some reason, the thought of Jani digging up Crane’s corpse and punching its lights out, cartoon-style, made her smile. When had her sense of humor turned so morbid?
He embraced her once more for good measure and they walked up the steps to Luke’s cabin door.
* * * *
When Jani and Luke turned to leave, Barbi’s nerves returned. What if she couldn’t do this? What if Fleur hated her? Barbi already hated herself.
Luke looked over his shoulder, as if gleaning her tension, and walked back to where she sat on the couch. He crouched in front of her. He was so big even when he crouched, he seemed to dwarf her. Grabbing her hand, he said, “It’s going to be okay. But you need to tell Fleur everything that’s in your heart just like we practiced.”
Only when they’d practiced, she’d been pouring her guts out to him and not the daughter she neglected.
Fleur sat on the opposite couch, wedged between two pillows like a princess surrounded by a moat. She was still putting distance between them and Barbi didn’t blame her.
She was the worst mother in the world.
“No, you’re not.” Fleur’s voice was so soft, Barbi began to doubt she’d even heard it.
“You heard me just then?”
Fleur shrugged. “A little. Maybe. I don’t know.”
Luke squeezed Barbi’s shoulder and stood. “You ladies have a nice chat. Jani and I will be back in no time.”
Fleur turned to her mate. “Be careful.”
Jani nodded. Before Barbi could raise an objection to being left alone with Fleur, Luke and Jani were gone.
She and Fleur spent the better part of the next five minutes avoiding each other’s gazes. She wanted to be the first one to say something, anything, but Fleur beat her to it. Even as Fleur posed her question, Barbi felt even more defeated. Who was she kidding here? She didn’t even know how to begin. All of Luke’s hints and encouragement had flown out the window.
“So,” began Fleur. “How are you feeling? Luke tells me you’ve had a hard time.”
Okay. I can answer that. It seemed straightforward enough. “Uh, I feel okay.”
“Really?”
“Well I mean, shaky. And the fever was pretty bad when I wasn’t getting chills. I threw up a couple of times and I still can’t keep certain foods down.”
“In other words, you feel like shit.”
“That would be accurate. I’m trying to stay positive, though.”
“You’ve lost weight.”
Barbi crossed her arms. “A bit.” She laughed. She’d meant it to sound light but it came out as a bitter explosion of breath. “It’s hard to maintain my voluptuous figure when I can’t eat. Everything tastes bad right now. Except Luke’s loaf.”
Fleur’s eyes bugged out. “I’m sorry. Did you say Luke’s loaf?”
“Yeah. He’s a good cook and made this chocolate banana loaf. It’s about the only thing I can keep in my gullet, so he’s made a couple of them now. Do you want a slice?”
“No thanks. He sounds like a nice man.”
“He is.”
Once again, their conversation died off, dwindling into uncomfortable silence. Fleur picked at the seam on the pillow next to her. Barbi couldn’t stop tapping her toes. So much to say and she had no idea how to say it. She began with the obvious. “Jani seems nice too.”
“He is.” Her daughter smiled at her lap. “We’re mated.”
“Mated?” The comment should have made Barbi react like a happy mother-of-the-bride on her daughter’s wedding day. However, because of her own history with mates, she couldn’t help but feel nervous. Her anxiety poured forth in a rush of questions. “And you’re sure about him? I mean, I know you called him a friend but what do you really know about him? Does he come from a good family? Does he treat you well?”
Fleur met her gaze. “I promise you he treats me well. I love him, Mom, and he loves me.”
“Does he…he doesn’t hurt you?”
“No. He wouldn’t dream of hurting me.”
“Oh. Good. Well then I’m happy for you.”
Fleur let out a sigh of exasperation. This wasn’t going as well as Barbi had planned. Luke told her she needed to dig deep or she’d lose Fleur, but they might as well have been making small talk. Barbi dredged up every memory of Terry and his fists. She contemplated every instance of intimidation toward her and her daughters, and she confronted her shame in not protecting them better. Now Fleur was mated to Jani, she might very well disappear like Hailey did. Would Fleur travel with him to…where did he come from anyway? She should have known.
“He’s from Hungary, Mom.”
“I see. Wow. Not exactly down the road. Will you live there?”
“I don’t know yet.”
She’d lose her too. She’d already lost her. Christ, a tiny hit of Spider would really help right now…
Luke’s face appeared in her mind’s eye, urging her to be strong. Tell Fleur everything that’s in your heart.
Once again, Fleur spoke, unconsciously coming to her rescue. “It’s nice to see you clean.”
“I know I have a long way to go, but Luke told me a shifter can wean off a drug quicker than a human. The trick is making the decision to stop taking it.” She picked at her jeans. “Although I didn’t really make
that decision, did I? You rescued me, Fleur, even though I’d given up on myself long ago.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes we all need help seeing what’s there in front of us.”
When had Fleur grown up? It seemed she’d always been a frightened girl with a chip on her shoulder. A target for bad people. Now, she held herself high and spoke her mind. Her face, although currently pinched with unease, glowed with an underlying happiness. “You’re a good kid.”
Fleur rolled her eyes. “I might have some good moments now, but I don’t think I’ve been the greatest daughter in the history of daughters.”
“Still, you came around. Maybe I can too.” As remorse took hold, filling her eyes with tears, Barbi did what Luke had suggested and apologized from the heart. “I’m so sorry, baby. I should have protected you from your father so much better, you and your sister. I won’t blame a dead man for his sins, but he made me doubt myself, Fleur. He made me feel so…little. So useless. After a while, I just couldn’t handle the guilt. I needed to disappear. Wilf helped me disappear.”
“I know, Mom. I was there and I know what Dad did.”
“People say they remember where they were the day Kennedy was shot. I remember where I was the first time your father hit me, and the second time and the third time. I remember them all, and each time he made me feel it was my fault, that I’d somehow asked for it. There were days I used to wish he’d just finish the damn job and kill me.” She dropped her face into her hands, wishing she could fall off the side of the earth even now.
Two hands pried hers off her face. Fleur kneeled in front of her. “Crane treated me the same way. As much as he hurt me, he helped me disappear too. He made me feel worthless and special at the same time. I was excited to be part of his group. He told us he’d chosen us because we were superior, and yet he never gave himself fully to me. I realized pretty early on he didn’t think I was good enough to be his mate, but I stayed with him in the hopes I’d change his mind. As much as I felt like a chosen one, he still made me feel worthless for being myself. Does that make sense?”
“It makes so much sense. I should have found a way to stop you from going to that man.”
“You wouldn’t have. Crane had a hold on me. In some ways, he always will.” Her former alpha’s chuckle sounded over her shoulder, a silent taunt only she could hear. “It was an ugly journey, and I’m paying for my mistakes, but it was a journey I needed to take. It brought me to Jani and it brought me back to you.”
“How did you become such a smart woman with me for a mother?” Barbi passed her sleeve over her wet cheeks. “Maybe this is my journey, huh?”
Fleur smiled. “Yeah, maybe it is.”
“Can you ever forgive me?”
“Yes. Can you forgive me for deserting you?”
“Of course. New beginnings, right?”
Fleur hugged her. “I’d like that.”
It was the first time they’d hugged in years. Barbi soaked it up for a good, long time, amazed at how much better it made her feel than Spider.
* * * *
“I wish we’d brought you the first time we went looking for Breckenridge,” Jani said as he and Luke walked toward the drug dealer’s apartment building in town. “How did you know this was his home?”
“I’ve been looking for him for weeks.” Luke’s lip curled. “Let’s just say I have my spies in the shifter community. One of the leads finally panned out.”
“Remind me not to get on your bad side.” Jani marveled at Luke’s skillset. “I could use a man like you back in Hungary.”
“Thanks, but I’m happy here.”
They still had to get past security. Jani knew he and Luke could break down most doors, but he also understood when it was best not to call attention to oneself. Barreling into Breckenridge’s condo, dressed as their snarling spirit animals, might not be the best tactic. They had to finagle a way inside.
On Luke’s instruction, they watched from outside the building door for a time, keeping their eyes on the security guards. A male and female guard, both human, stood at the desk. As soon as the male went on rounds, Luke led the way toward the desk.
“Let me do the talking.”
“Sure,” agreed Jani. “Who am I to interfere?”
When the female guard saw Luke coming, her heartbeat sped up in clear lust. Luke’s mouth spread into a take-no-prisoners smile as he ate her up with his gaze. He fashioned his voice into a caress.
“Excuse me. You must be new here. I haven’t seen you before.”
“It’s my first week.” The woman moved to flip her hair, remembered it was pulled back in a tight bun, and immediately lowered her hand.
Luke read her nametag, letting his gaze linger a touch too long on her bosom. “Dani, is it?”
“Yes.” She cleared her throat. “How can I help you?”
Somehow, Luke summoned a blush, which only made him appear more charming. Jani refrained from shaking his head, in awe of the bear shifter’s not-so-subtle powers of seduction.
“It’s so embarrassing, Dani.” Luke leaned on the desk, bringing him closer to the woman. “Our friend Wilf Breckenridge lives in the penthouse here and has asked us to help him move some furniture today. Would you believe I left the passcode he gave me at home?” He rolled his eyes at his feigned idiocy and smiled.
Dani smiled right along with him, as if he’d cracked the wittiest joke ever told. “It happens. I’ll buzz Mr. Breckenridge for you.”
“Thing is, Dani,” Luke said, “Wilf has already headed to the furniture store. He was hoping we could get his living room suite shifted before he returns. He’ll need our help bringing the new stuff in, you see.”
“Oh.” Dani looked at the papers in front of her as if the solution were scrawled there. “I’m really not supposed to let anyone in unless they have their code. I’ll page my partner. He’ll know what to do.”
“Are those gold flecks in your eyes?” Luke narrowed his own eyes in frank appreciation. “Such an unusual color. You must get compliments all the time.”
“My mom has the same color of eyes.” She blushed. “But I don’t get too many compliments.”
And there, thought Jani, is the rope with which to hang her.
Luke went in for the kill. “Well I think your eyes are beautiful. Of course, I won’t know for sure unless I get to see them again. Maybe at a candlelight dinner?”
“I, uh…that would be lovely. Sorry, what was your name?”
“Luke Miller. Dr. Luke Miller.”
Jani averted his gaze. He knew for a fact Luke was no doctor.
The poor woman giggled, sealing her fate. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Miller.”
“Please call me Luke.”
“Okay, Luke. I’ve always liked that name.”
Luke pulled out his cell phone. “Dani, I’m not usually this forward with women. I’m a shy sort of man, but I have a good feeling about you. If I ask for your number, do you promise not to break my foolish heart?”
She snorted out a laugh. “I promise.”
“Great.” Luke glanced at the phone. “Shoot. Wilf’s on his way already. Dani, would you mind buzzing us in just this once? As soon as we’re done, I’ll come back for that phone number.” He showed her his cell screen. “See? I’ve already got your name keyed in.”
She’d considered, nibbling her bottom lip. “Well you are a doctor and you’ve given me your name. Okay, just this once.” With a nervous smile, she depressed the buzzer in front of her.
Jani grabbed the door and held it open. If he didn’t know any better, he’d pout for feeling so ignored. Of course, Luke was much prettier than he was, and he’d be sure to tell him so.
Luke waved at the woman as he walked through. “Just one more thing. Do you like Italian food?”
Dani nodded.
“Awesome.” He grinned. “I know just the place to take you. See you in about half an hour, darlin’.”
As she waved t
hem off, Jani elbowed Luke. “You are a sick man. You’ll devastate that poor, little dear when we don’t return.”
“Don’t feel too badly for Dani,” he replied, his jaw set. “Did you happen to notice how she removed one of her rings as we approached the desk? That poor, little dear is married, and she just made a date to cheat on her husband with a total stranger.”
“I bow to you, my friend.” Jani bent at the waist, adding a flourish with his arm. “I still think you’re sick.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes the end does justify the means.”
Jani couldn’t help noticing the tension in his companion’s posture as they rode up the elevator toward the penthouse. “You really want to get Breckenridge, don’t you?”
“Yep. Even more now.”
“Am I right in assuming Barbi…means something to you?”
“You’re right,” Luke said simply. “She’s my mate, and I’m going to destroy Breckenridge for what he did to her.” The elevator door opened and he walked out.
“Wait.” Jani followed him off the elevator, slowing his pace as they approached the penthouse door. “Did you and Barbi…?”
“Of course not,” Luke said in a hiss. “That would be an abuse of my position. She needs my help and I won’t breathe a word about my feelings before she’s ready. But make no mistake, Jani. I’ve had many years to figure out what I want. I want Barbi, and I know she wants me.”
“All right. Looks as if we have a common goal.”
Once at Breckenridge’s door, they both inhaled to assess the situation, their enhanced senses homing in on the wolf shifter’s scent. Mingled with it, Jani smelled blood and household cleaners. With a glance at Luke, Jani put his shoulder to the door and forced it open. They entered, taking a good look around the place.
It was clean, too clean, and empty.
They quickly passed through each room. The closets were devoid of clothing. The fridge had been emptied. There were no personal effects anywhere. Jani breathed in deeply, allowing his tiger to show him where the blood was. His spirit animal led him to the kitchen. One glance at the floor told him Breckenridge had killed recently. A human might not notice the odd speck of blood in the floor tile grout but Jani saw it. However, the entire surface had been scrubbed with bleach.
