Paper Wife

Home > Historical > Paper Wife > Page 18
Paper Wife Page 18

by Laila Ibrahim


  They came to a magnificent house at 672 Eleventh Street—the nicest home she had ever seen in the United States, three stories high with ornate gold trim. This was the residence of a very wealthy, very prestigious family. Relieved and somewhat intimidated, she followed Kai Li around the side of the building and up the porch stairs. There were two doors. He looked at them, shrugged, and chose the one on the left.

  “Please say nothing,” Kai Li instructed.

  She bristled at his direction, but he was right. Her charged demeanor wouldn’t serve them in this situation. She needed to act like a meek Rabbit and let his Ox plow the way forward.

  Her heart pounded hard as he knocked gently on the door. When it swung open, he held out their offering, six bright and round oranges.

  A middle-aged White woman with bright-blue eyes and dark hair stood in the doorway. Mei Ling’s heart sank. How would they communicate?

  But then, surprising her, Kai Li spoke: “---- -------.”

  She had forgotten he spoke English so well. He had a whole life separate from her, communicating with his employers and customers every day.

  The woman replied, “---- -------. --- I ---- ---?”

  He offered the oranges, with a bow. The woman looked confused, then amused. She took them.

  “-- ---- ----- -------- ----- --- ------ ------,” he said. “-- ----- --- --- ---- ---. Siew?”

  “Yes, -- ---- - Siew ---- ----- ----.”

  “--- -- ---- --- ----- -- ------- ---- ---?”

  Yes. Siew. She was in there!

  The woman looked him up and down. Then she looked at Mei Ling, who smiled, trying to win the woman over.

  “Siew?” Bo’s voice called out.

  Mei Ling started to shush him, but the woman smiled at the boy.

  “-- ------,” she said. Then she half closed the door.

  “Well?” Mei Ling demanded.

  “She said ‘Of course,’ which usually means yes. I believe she is getting Siew.”

  “Siew?” Bo said again.

  Did he really remember her, or was he just remembering Mei Ling’s stories about the boat and the island? Mei Ling quivered in anticipation. She stared through the gap into the house, yearning to get a glance of Siew, but all she saw through the slit was a small slice of shelving on a storage porch.

  The door swung open to reveal Siew, standing directly in front of the White woman. Mei Ling’s heart leaped in joy. She looked just as Mei Ling remembered, only a little taller. She wore a plaid Western dress and her dark, shiny hair was brushed flat. She looked healthier than she had on the boat, but Mei Ling detected a bit of sadness in her eyes. Siew stared at them, looking between Mei Ling and Bo. Mei Ling’s heart sank.

  Siew didn’t seem to remember them or care to see them. The child loomed large in Mei Ling’s spirit, but they hadn’t known each other for very long. In the intervening year Siew might have forgotten about them or made new attachments.

  Suddenly the girl’s face split wide in a grin. “Bo!” Siew squealed. “It really is you!” The girl rushed to Bo, giving him an enormous hug, lifting him off the ground though he was nearly her same height.

  Siew then wrapped her arms around Mei Ling’s legs. Staring up at her, sheer delight on her face, she exclaimed, “You found me! Like you said you would!”

  Mei Ling smiled at the girl, relief and joy bursting through her cells. They’d done it. Found Siew!

  Siew said, “I wanted to find you, but I lost the paper. I’m sorry.”

  The girl looked so earnest and pained that Mei Ling regretted placing that burden on her.

  “It’s not your fault. We both did the best we could to see one another again. And now we are!” Mei Ling said, reassuring herself as much as the child.

  Mei Ling knelt down and pulled Siew into a full embrace. The girl stiffened at first and then melted against Mei Ling, wrapping her arms tight around her in a giant hug.

  The White woman spoke up, “--- ---’- --- ---- - ----- -- --- ------. ---- ---- ----.”

  The unintelligible English words frightened Mei Ling. Was the woman sending them away so soon? She looked at Kai Li, wanting to know what had been said.

  He gestured with his head. “She says we can have a visit in the garden.”

  Mei Ling rose and bowed her gratitude to the woman, her eyes wet with emotion. The woman smiled, her eyes also moist, and nodded back at her. Siew grabbed Bo’s hand and ran ahead.

  Questions swirled in Mei Ling’s head. She wanted to learn about Siew’s year. Had she been treated well? How long had she lived here? Had she lived anywhere else?

  But she didn’t interrupt the reunion between Bo and Siew. The adults observed from a white-washed wooden bench while the children ran around on the grass, returning to Mei Ling to include Joy in their game. Siew looked good, clean, with enough meat on her bones.

  “She is very sweet, like you said,” Kai Li observed as they watched the children play. “Bo is so happy to see her.”

  Mei Ling nodded.

  “You are still worried, wife?” he asked.

  Mei Ling’s chest constricted. She didn’t want to appear ungrateful. Her heart was much at ease, but something was wrong.

  She shrugged.

  She managed a hoarse whisper, “She doesn’t belong here.”

  “It’s better than many children have,” Kai Li stated matter-of-factly.

  Before she could reply, Siew ran back to the bench and collapsed on it, out of breath. Bo followed right behind.

  “It’s Siew, Mah-ma.” Bo grinned as he patted the girl’s back.

  “Yes, Siew.” Mei Ling beamed back at him. “You remember her, don’t you?”

  His little head nodded up and down vigorously.

  “You live here, Siew?” Mei Ling asked.

  “Yes,” the girl answered.

  “For how long?”

  The girl shrugged.

  “Who takes care of you?”

  Siew’s shoulders dropped. “I take care of myself.”

  Mei Ling’s heart twisted. “What do you do here?”

  “Whatever the cook says,” Siew answered. “Some days I polish. That’s my favorite ’cause I get to sit for a long time and pretend.”

  “What other work do you do?” Kai Li asked.

  “You’re Bo’s daddy! We met once on the ship,” Siew declared.

  Kai Li nodded.

  “Joy is very cute!” Siew announced.

  Kai Li smiled. “I agree.”

  “Now I have a sister and a brother!” Siew said with a smile, but there was a challenge in her voice. An edge of anger too.

  Bo roared in Siew’s face. She laughed. He ran. She followed.

  Mei Ling’s heart and mind swirled in confusion. She was glad to see Siew so healthy. But a servant? In this fancy house with White people? Was that all the fates had in store for the girl?

  All too soon the door swung open again. The White woman stood on the porch staring at them, signaling their visit was over.

  Mei Ling’s soul protested, but her mouth kept silent. This woman stood between her and Siew. If she wanted to visit the girl again, this housekeeper would have to agree. Mei Ling wasn’t going to act argumentative or unappreciative.

  Mei Ling looked at the children. Siew was tickling Bo on the grass while he giggled and wiggled in pleasure. Siew stopped suddenly when she saw the housekeeper.

  “Bye, Bo. Be good,” Siew said, and she hugged him tight. She stood up, walked up to Kai Li, and bowed.

  “Thank you for bringing Bo to visit with me,” she said politely.

  She walked to Mei Ling, wrapped her arms around her waist, and squeezed. Mei Ling patted her silky brown hair. Without letting go, Siew whispered up to Mei Ling, “I like being with you and Bo better.” She squeezed again and then let go.

  Tears pushed at the back of Mei Ling’s eyeballs. She longed to assure the child that they would be back, and that they could visit often, but she wasn’t going to make up a tale. Siew was a servant i
n a fine home. The White family wasn’t going to allow her to have visits very often—especially with people who weren’t even her real family. Her heart beat hard, and her throat swelled up.

  She wanted to yell, I love you. I won’t forget you, but she buried the words. Bo slipped his hand into hers.

  “Bye, Siew,” his sad, high voice yelled across the distance.

  They shuffled home in a bittersweet silence. Mei Ling chanted a loving kindness meditation for Siew: May she be safe from all harm. May she be free from all suffering. May she know joy.

  CHAPTER 20

  Oakland

  July 1924

  Mei Ling’s extreme agitation was calmed by the visit with Siew, but her heart wasn’t at peace. While she wasn’t being actively harmed—she was warm and well fed—the little girl had to be lonely. Mei Ling needed to find a way to have regular visits with Siew in order to quiet her chattering mind.

  Ruminating on her dilemma in the middle of the night as her family slept around her, church popped into her head. The Americans took great pleasure when Chinese became Christian; perhaps the housekeeper would allow Siew to spend Sundays with them. And a gift of an embroidered runner might facilitate her agreement.

  In the morning she told Kai Li her idea. He heard the longing in her voice and agreed to ask Miss Haw, the housekeeper. Mei Ling quickly finished a runner, stitching into the final blue-and-purple butterfly a prayer: Quan Yin, offer your compassion and mercy to Siew. Persuade Miss Haw to let her fly to us. She wrapped it carefully and sent it with Kai Li. After work he would present her gift and make their plea.

  Through the day Mei Ling fluctuated between anxiety and excitement. She distracted herself by gardening and working on the wedding gown for Mr. Young . . . and imagining Siew walking into church with them on Sunday.

  Kai Li returned late, after dinner was cold, but his sharp nod and sweet smile told her that he was successful. They would see Siew again on Sunday. Mei Ling breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Thank you, husband,” she said.

  “You’re welcome,” he replied. “Miss Haw was very agreeable. I can tell that she feels affection for Siew. I hope that knowledge eases your heart.”

  Mei Ling nodded, for once her Dragon purring at the knowledge they would see Siew once a week.

  “Ah!” June leaped up and screamed when she saw their family walk into church, drawing the attention of the people in the nearby pews. Mei Ling beamed as June fussed over Siew.

  “You remember Auntie June, right? I helped your Mah-ma to find you! She worry, worry so much. But I say to her, Quan Yin wants you to be a family. And I am right!”

  Mah-ma. The word cut through Mei Ling. She didn’t share June’s certainty about her relationship to Siew. Good mothers didn’t allow their children to live in as servants—not when they were as young as Siew.

  “Dorothy and Timothy, come here,” June called to her children. “This is your new friend, Siew. I told you about her before. From the boat.”

  “Hi,” Dorothy said.

  “She doesn’t speak English,” June chastised.

  “Hello,” Siew replied to June’s daughter. “I -- ----- -------.”

  “----’- --- ------. ------- -------!” June said.

  Mei Ling watched the conversation, conflicting emotions surging through her. She was proud that Siew could already speak the language of this land, and yet felt left out because she didn’t understand most of what they were saying to one another. Siew and Bo filled in the seats by June’s children. The three older children chatted in English. Soon enough Bo and then Joy would share this language with Kai Li and June.

  “I must learn more English,” Mei Ling declared to June.

  “Yes. Yes. You must if you want to be a real American. It took me a long, long time. But now I understand most of what I hear, and I am not too afraid to speak. I learn right here at church. You can too.”

  Mei Ling nodded. She wasn’t going to let herself be left entirely behind.

  Weeks later, the five of them once again sat in the pews at the Presbyterian Church in Oakland. Sundays had become the day when Mei Ling felt the most peace. Spending the day in the company of Kai Li and Siew was a treat that made her heart sing.

  Partway through the service the minister introduced two guests with familiar names: Donaldina Cameron and Tien Wu. The women led the Presbyterian home where Mei Ling had planned to escape had Kai Li rejected Joy for the failure of being born female. Her anxiety from last winter seemed foolish now because nothing brought Kai Li more delight than his daughter, but that wouldn’t have been true for all men.

  As Miss Cameron spoke in English, Mei Ling’s mind drifted.

  Then she listened to Tien Wu’s translation: “Our program for Chinese girls is expanding to the East Bay. We have purchased land near Mills College and need your assistance to create a sanctuary where young ladies rescued from a wretched life can be safe. Please listen to this testimonial to know the truth of what we are saying.”

  A young woman stood up and spoke in a slow, quiet voice, forcing Mei Ling to lean in to hear her words.

  “I was very young when I came on the boat with an auntie I had never met. My parents sold me to her because they had no money for food for a fourth daughter. She promised them I would work in a nice home, and then she would arrange a good marriage when I became a woman.

  “I was a servant for many years, but when the time came for marriage, a husband was not found for me. I was dressed like a bride, but I was not to be for one man.”

  The girl’s voice dropped even lower. Her face flushed red with shame. Mei Ling’s throat closed tight. She looked at Siew, who was staring intently at the young woman, paying close attention to the story too similar to her own.

  “I will not say in a church what happened to me, but I am ashamed, and very grateful that Tien Wu and Lo Mo, Deaconess Cameron, rescued me from that life. Many girls need to be saved from that fate. Thank you.”

  Deaconess Cameron spoke up again in English. Mei Ling shook with impatience to know what she was saying. Finally Tien Wu translated, “We need your help to build a lovely home for these girls in east Oakland: the Ming Quong Home for Chinese Girls. There they will be free to learn and grow in Christ’s love.”

  By the time they had finished speaking, Mei Ling’s Dragon was roaring in panic. Siew was going to share that fate if they did nothing. She looked at Kai Li, her wide eyes signaling her outrage. He nodded with a sigh; he shared her concern.

  Mei Ling leaned over and whispered to him in the pew. “We must speak to her. Ask her to rescue Siew!”

  “Of course, wife.”

  When worship ended they stayed until the room cleared out. Before they approached Miss Cameron, Mei Ling told Siew to play with Bo in the corner so she wouldn’t hear their conversation. After introductions, Kai Li explained their situation in English. Mei Ling watched, feeling ineffectual and angry, as the two of them conversed.

  Miss Cameron pointed to Tien Wu and said something else in English.

  Together Mei Ling and Kai Li spoke with the Chinese woman, giving her details about Siew.

  Mei Ling pointed to the girl and implored, “She is a very good girl. Respectful, helpful, obedient. Nothing bad should ever happen to her.”

  “I can see that she is lovely,” Tien Wu replied. “From what you say she is in no current danger. We have many, many that we must get out of immediate harm. But I will keep her name and learn what we can do to be of assistance.”

  Mei Ling left the conversation dissatisfied and frustrated. She couldn’t tell if they were going to help Siew. Did she and Kai Li need to pay a bribe? Kai Li confirmed that Miss Cameron had asked for a donation.

  The following week she brought one of her precious gold coins to church. As she offered it to the minister she thought, May this keep Siew from all harm. The minister took it. He expressed his gratitude that it would add substantially to their congregation’s contribution.

  “We are hoping Miss
Cameron and Tien Wu can help our . . .” Mei Ling stopped speaking in the middle of her sentence, uncertain what Siew was to her. She wanted him to take their request seriously, so she said, “Foster daughter.”

  “I’m sorry you know someone directly affected by this horrible practice,” the pastor said. “What is her name?”

  Her voice full of emotion, Mei Ling said, “Siew.”

  “I will pray for her. What is her last name?”

  Mei Ling’s heart constricted. It felt like a betrayal that she didn’t know Siew’s real family name. Siew felt like family, but Mei Ling knew so little about her. She shook her head.

  Kai Li said earnestly, “We plan to be of support however we can.”

  Mei Ling looked at her husband, so grateful for him and his kind heart.

  Concern for Siew overshadowed all the good in Mei Ling’s life. The girl was constantly on her mind. The girl’s desperate voice intruded upon her day: Save me, please. There’s no one else. Unless Mei Ling was speaking or listening to another person, those words filled her ears. All too often an image from her dreams would pop unbidden into her mind’s eye in the middle of the day. The woman from Bartlett Alley, but with Siew’s face, staring through the mesh screen.

  A desperate ghost was haunting Mei Ling, but Siew was alive. Perhaps Siew’s mother had found them across the Pacific Ocean to badger Mei Ling into keeping her daughter safe. Mei Ling was certain the ghost was distraught, not angry.

  Mei Ling took her children to the backyard. She told Bo to find a smooth rock. They poked around the bushes until they found the perfect one. Mei Ling noted one last cheerful peony bloom on her mother’s stalk. Yellow blossoms were getting ready to burst out on the chrysanthemum stalks. The plants had made it.

  Taking the rock upstairs, she wrote the character for “protection” on it. She readied the children for an outing, cut the last pink peony bloom in the yard, and then walked to the mansion where Siew lived. No one paid any attention to her as they traveled through the downtown. She felt almost invisible, a welcome contrast to the hostility in San Francisco, though still strange.

 

‹ Prev