by Montana Ash
“I think Max is right.” He began. “I wanted to keep her here because I was worried about how different she was. I thought we should figure her out before informing the IDC of her presence in case there was something sinister going on. The last time something out of the ordinary happened that we couldn’t explain, the Great Massacre was the result. But I don’t think we’re the right paladins for the job. We’re not equipped to deal with a long lost adult warden. She needs other wardens. She needs experts armed with knowledge and experience.”
“You want to get rid of her.” Lark sounded accusatory.
“I made no secret that I didn’t want a warden hanging around. You all know why, just as I know why all of you aren’t bound to a warden of your own. Why all of you are without an Order.” He looked around the table. “Have your circumstances changed? Are any of you wanting to join another Order?” Each and every one of the knights at the table had their own story to tell and their own reasons for why they were trainers rather than active paladins. Although he had gotten used to them all being around and offering his home as a kind of boarding house for misplaced soldiers had given him a sense of purpose, he would never begrudge any of them moving on. Paladins were born to serve, born to provide vitality, born to protect. He would rejoice if they decided to move on and fulfil their calling.
He didn’t know whether to be relieved or saddened when he saw the resolute and resigned faces at the table. Everyone’s demons were just too strong. It was a shame, he thought. If anyone could have convinced this scarred, traumatised bunch of warriors to step back into the light, it would probably have been Max.
“So you’re going to call the Council? Which one?” Cali asked, looking him straight in the eye. She was the only one in the room not studying the table, or the floor, or the walls. It just proved his point about how strong women were.
“I’ve already called … and I contacted both. I spoke to Garrett, the Life Ambassador on the IDC. He was shocked to say the least. He actually took some convincing before he believed me. He recommended that we take Max to the Lodge and introduce her to some wardens and other paladins in the short term. Lake from the Local Warden Council said the next local meeting is in three weeks and they will formally introduce her into society then and assign a mentor to her. In the meantime, we are to help her find a paladin or two willing to share their vitality regularly to help stabilise her powers and her health. Ideally, the LWC and the IDC want to have input into the paladins she binds to.”
Darius’s dark eyebrows lowered ominously, “They wish to dictate her Order?”
Beyden looked concerned, “But they can’t do that. We all know what happens when the connection isn’t based on a natural bond.”
“They’re not going to force her to bind with anyone. They can’t. I think they’re just hoping she will form an Order with suitably respectable paladins.” At least Ryker assumed that’s what they wanted. Max was the find of a lifetime and although Garrett was genuinely happy to learn of her existence for the sake of the world, he was also a politician. He couldn’t help but be drawn into the intrigue and possibilities her presence in society would bring.
“She’s a female Warden of Life. They’re probably hoping she’ll breed with a suitably appropriate warden and produce dozens of Life Warden babies!” Cali alleged, disgust lacing her tone heavily.
Ryker refused to let his mouth form the immediate denial Cali’s words brought. Although a paladin and a warden could produce warden offspring, they also had equal chances of producing a paladin. Only two wardens together were guaranteed to produce a warden heir.
“Her fate is not our responsibility, it never was.” Ryker stated assuredly. Now, he only had to believe it himself.
****
Breakfast was a relatively quiet affair with everyone apparently focused intently on their food. Max wondered what everyone was thinking about. She had gotten to know the six paladins fairly well and she now respected the hell out of them all – even Ryker. And she didn’t care what he said, she knew these people meant more to him than some twisted sense of responsibility. The home he had created here was far more than some kind of pound for strays – it was a refuge to those in need.
Max took a deep breath and glanced around the table. She was in need of a refuge and found herself desperately wanting to stay, regardless of the unrequited lust she had for Scarface. She wasn’t stupid, she knew her time here was running short. But surely there had to be some kind of fate in the works to bring her here? Six paladins – seven if you included the missing one – one from each domain, all congregated in the one place with no warden of their own. And here she was, a warden with no paladins. That had to mean something. She had spent the night flipping through books in the library, walking along the beach and working out in the gym, trying to instil herself with the courage needed to ask them if she could stay. As Lark stood and began to clear the dishes, Max dimly heard Ryker rounding up the troops for something. It was time for Max to gut up.
“Hey guys?” Everyone immediately ceased all movement and gave her their full attention. She loved that about them but right now it also freaked her the fuck out! “I was just wondering, maybe we don’t need to find me other paladins. I mean, you guys aren’t bonded to a warden. Maybe you could …” Max trailed off noticing the uncomfortable tension that swept through the room like a storm. There was a lot of foot shuffling and avoidance of eye contact going on and Max felt her heart sink. She didn’t need to finish her question to know what their answer would be.
They didn’t want her.
“Just forget I said anything.” Max muttered quickly, praying no one would see the tears gathering rapidly in her eyes. Why did she hurt this much?
“Wait, Max, please. It isn’t you. We’re all here and working at the training centre for a reason.” Cali hurried over to her and placed a slender hand on her shoulder.
“We’re damaged goods, Max.” She heard Axel state bluntly from behind her.
Max risked turning around and facing the knights. She looked everyone in the eye pausing for the longest time on Ryker, “Not to me.”
Nothing but silence. It was like they were all waiting for someone else to say something – anything – first. Talk about awkward. Ryker was the first to break the brittle stillness.
“I can’t speak for anyone else in the room but I can speak for myself. I will never be bound to another warden again. I will never be bound in another Order again. I will never accept you as my liege. I’m … sorry.”
Max felt bile rise in her throat and it was all she could do to stop herself from barfing all over the hardwood floor. Ryker’s words made her feel physically sick because she believed every single one of them. To his credit he actually did look truly sorry … but he also looked resolved. She knew there would be no changing his mind. Whatever had happened in his past had well and truly ruined him. She knew she didn’t need to hear the words from the other paladins. Ryker was their leader and Captain even though he didn’t want to accept it. He had their loyalties and trust and they would never betray their saviour by placing that loyalty with another, even though she believed they had grown to genuinely care for her. Perhaps she was a masochist but she wanted to hear them all say it anyway.
“Darius?”
“I’m sorry Max. I can’t.” The air paladin replied, jaw clenched tight.
“Lark?”
The auburn haired soldier shook his head. “I know this sounds lame but it isn’t you … It’s me. I can’t be bound to a warden.”
“Bey?”
“Jeez, Max. I really wish you hadn’t asked. I don’t want to hurt you.” His amber eyes also had the suspicious sheen of tears. “No.”
“Cali?”
“Max. You have no idea just how important you are. We’ve kept you secluded here these past weeks and we’ve tried to express just what a miracle you are but you don’t really get it. Not yet. But the second we introduce you to society, you will realise how high in the totem pole yo
u are … and how low we are. You won’t want to be associated with us. We’re doing you a favour by turning you down. You will thank us for it one day.” The blonde Scandinavian princess was so earnest but Max knew she was wrong. She wasn’t about to argue though.
“Axel?” Max had saved him for last because he had oddly become one of her favourite people in the world over the weeks. There was just something about the irreverent bastard that Max really clicked with. He walked over and placed his hands on her cheeks and Max felt a tiny spark of hope … until she saw the look in those crystal clear blue eyes of his. She imagined it was the look of benevolent pity he bestowed upon leagues of women after a hot night between the sheets when he crushed their dreams of a fairytale romance the morning after.
“Babe, if I was going to jump back on the wagon for anyone, it would be you. But that part of my life is over. I’m sorry.”
Under the crushing weight of injury and disappointment Max knew they were wrong. Each and every one of them. She felt the connection, the rightness between them. But there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. So it looked like it was time for her to suck it up.
“Okay. Let’s go find me a paladin then. It’s probably ‘bout that time, don’t you think?”
Cue awkward silence. Ah, Max thought, they already have. Instead of throwing a tantrum and crying like an adult-size human baby, she only nodded. She had told herself to gut up after all, but damn if it didn’t hurt like a bitch.
EIGHTEEN
They had split into two cars, Max sitting shotgun with Ryker driving and Cali and Axel in the back seat. Darius, Lark and Beyden had taken the other Dodge and followed behind. The drive had been uncomfortable to say the least, each person caught in their own thoughts she supposed. All of the tension and uneasiness was forgotten however the second Max placed her sneaker-clad feet on the ground at their destination. The land had been damaged here and the resulting scars were still visible in the burnt and broken trees and the cracked, dry ground. Why hadn’t the earth been healed? She thought this was supposed to be where the wardens met.
“This is the training base for the paladins? What you call the Lodge?” She asked.
“Yep. This is it.” Axel replied, already striding forward. But Max didn’t move.
“And where there are paladins, there are wardens, correct?”
“Yes. Of course. Not only is this where paladins receive their training but it is also where the wardens hold their council meetings. We explained this. Why?” Darius asked.
“Then how is it possible for the earth to be so scarred here? How can the wardens stand it?” She turned to them, “How can you all stand it?”
“A massive bush fire swept through this area a little under a year ago. The facility was completely burned to the ground. There were only a handful of paladins on site at the time and no wardens. They were able to use their connections with their domains enough to stop the fire spreading to the nearby towns, but not enough to save the base.”
“That’s not what I’m asking. Can’t you feel it? Can’t you hear it? The ground, the shrubs, the trees – they’re still hurting. Why haven’t the other wardens healed them? Especially the ones responsible for earth.”
“It’s not that simple, Max. Wardens and paladins are one of the best kept secrets in history. Most of the human race doesn’t know we exist or what our purpose is. We have managed to live side by side with them since the dawn of time with few mishaps. If this land was suddenly, miraculously repaired what do you think people would do? It could expose the wardens.”
Max did listen to Darius and although she could see his point, she still felt a deep unease at the thought of nature’s so-called guardians trampling over the pain-filled land here, ignoring its cries, all for the sake of public image. Because earth was Lark’s element she turned to him with silent accusing eyes.
He held up his hands almost in surrender. “I know Max. Believe me, I know. I feel it every time I come here but we have rules to follow.”
“Sounds like a shitty excuse to me.” Max preached.
Lark frowned, as if he didn’t like being on the receiving end of her disapproval. “It’s not an excuse. It’s just the way it is.”
“Whatever.” Max wasn’t exactly in the mood to be forgiving.
“See! This is exactly what we’ve been trying to tell you these past few days. You are completely ignorant. Not only do you have no idea how to control your own powers, you know nothing of our society. We are a society based on laws and regulations just like any other. It’s a miracle you’ve managed to survive on your own all this time without exposing us all.” Ryker ranted.
“My apologies for being an orphan!” Max’s voice was heavy with sarcasm.
Ryker ran rough hands over his face and through his shaggy black locks. He looked to be grasping for patience. Well, that was fine with Max, she was too. He continued, “Let’s just go inside. You can meet some other paladins and see about finding a willing paladin or two to help stabilise you in the short term. Maybe meet a few wardens if there are any around. Then when the next council meeting is on and we introduce you formally, the other wardens will help educate and mentor you.”
Max gritted her teeth and forced herself not to retort. She spun on her heel and began to march up the paved walkway to the front of the building. It was large and rectangular in shape, made up entirely of corrugated iron if Max wasn’t mistaken. Although the materials were by no means organic, the low sloping roofs and wrap around verandas ensured it didn’t look out of place in its bush setting. The army-green colouring camouflaged perfectly with the surrounding landscape and made the whole thing seem like your average fishing or hunting shack – only three times the size. There were a series of smaller buildings dotted behind the main facility that looked to be old shipping containers. Those must be the training quarters, Max thought.
Walking up the few short steps to the main door, Max began to feel a little nervous. Inside were people just like her. Although she was relieved and happy to finally have some answers, she was also terrified of the changes it would bring. No more running. No more hiding. She could finally stay in the one place for more than a few months, maybe even make some friends. These were all good things – fantastic things actually. So why was she currently on the verge of hyperventilating on the doorstep to her future? Because it meant she now had so much more to lose. She now had people she could let down. What if she wasn’t good enough? What if they didn’t want her, just like the paladins behind her? Shit, Max thought, I can’t do this.
Some of what she was thinking must have shown on her face for Beyden wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders and gave her a hearty squeeze. “Hey, what’s wrong? You look a little pale.”
“I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to do this anymore.” She said in a rush.
Beyden frowned, “What do you mean you’ve changed your mind? Max, this is a good thing. The people in there can help you.”
Max was already shaking her head, “I think you’ve all helped me enough already. I have enough information to get by on my own now. There’s no point in dragging a whole society into the mix.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Ryker demanded in his usual blunt fashion. “Get your arse inside. I haven’t wasted the last two weeks of my life on you just so you can puss out now.”
Before she even knew what she was doing, Max found herself out of Beyden’s grip and in front of Ryker. The man was staring down at her in complete disdain again like she was nothing but shit beneath his shoe! Bastard! She thought, her fear completely forgotten in her rage. The big toe of her right foot connected solidly with the shin bone on Ryker’s left leg. The curse he let out would have made even the most seasoned sailors blush and the pang in her toes told her the five little piggies would be sore for a while. But it was well worth it to see the big bad ancient knight hopping up and down on one leg and whining like a pansy.
“Who’s the pussy now, huh?” She goaded.
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“Why you little …” The big brute made a grab for her but Darius was already holding him back.
“Easy now. Let’s all just calm down. Ryker, you can’t touch her you know that. And I’m sure Max is sorry. This whole situation is very overwhelming for her.”
Max laughed loudly and insultingly, “Sorry? Me? Fuck no, I’m not sorry. Let him loose Darius. There’s plenty more where that came from.”
Darius exhaled roughly, “Really Max? Couldn’t you just pretend to work with me here?”
Feeling a little bit sorry for him, after all, he was just trying to keep the peace, Max relented. “Fine. But he deserved it. You are such an insensitive jerk!” She snarled the latter toward Ryker.
Axel slapped her on the back, “He did deserve it. Good job mini ninja.” He was red in the face and still chuckling. Taking a look around, she realised the others were all in similar states of amusement and she began to see the humour in the situation as well. She had responded like any child would in the playground when confronted with the school bully. She really shouldn’t let her emotions get the better of her but Ryker just … well, he pissed her off quicker than any other person she had ever met. And for some reason, his words had the power to hurt her more than any other person she had ever met too. Which was just insane, Max lectured herself.
