Yes! I’m… coming! Sapphire cried into Sin’s head through their link, her body propelling her forward to sink her teeth into the taut muscles of his shoulder. Sin was right with her, thrusting faster, higher, his teeth buried deep in her shoulder.
Blood exploded in her mouth, fragrant and addicting. Sapphire swallowed once, twice, before she drew back and licked over the wound. She felt Sin’s tongue lick over her wound at the exact same moment, his hands holding her down as he ground his hips into her, casting her over the edge and into another orgasm.
Chapter 3
“Looks like I’m getting a new table.” Sin whispered against her ear behind her.
Sapphire smiled smugly. “Maybe your new one should be less ostentatious?”
Sin pinched her arm lightly in retaliation and Sapphire laughed. Turning her head, she looked at Sin over her shoulder. Sometimes it hurt her to look at him. In a very short time he’d become her entire world… To hurt him would destroy her like nothing else could.
Sin leaned down and pressed his lips to her, let them cling, a tangible link. Sapphire didn’t make a move to deepen the kiss or control it. it was simple and utterly perfect, no one in control, no one subdued.
“Sapphire.” Sin wished the word against her lips as he pulled slowly back. “Are you ready to tell me what happened?”
The sweet moment was gone, allowing her chaotic emotions to come back once more. But she understood one thing at least, sex always being able to give her a clear mind. Sapphire didn’t want Sin to know about her almost pregnancy yet. She needed more time to process it herself.
“I’m trying to work through it myself, Sin. Can you give me a little time before I tell you?” Sapphire asked quietly. She wouldn’t beg him, and she wouldn’t close off her mind to him. If he was desperate to know, he could just pluck the thought from her mind. She was asking more to see if he would trust her enough to allow her to tell him when she was ready.
Strong arms banded around her waist and pulled her back into a hard chest. Sapphire took a deep breath filling her lungs with spiced chocolate and the musk of their combined sex. It was an intoxicating scent.
“I trust that you that you’ll tell me when you’re ready, Sapphire.” Sin said quietly, rubbing his chin against her hair. Sapphire could feel the stubble of Sin's five o’clock shadow, but the roughness was nice.
Sapphire said as she laid her hands on the arms wrapped around her waist. “Thank you, Mate.”
***
“Jasmine! Wait a sec!” Sapphire called out as she closed the door to her bedroom.
As much as she would have lounged against Sin all day amongst the debris that was his desk, they’d both had a lot to do. They were both still alphas, and they had a schedule to keep.
Jasmine stopped and slowly turned to face Sapphire, looking a little pissed off. What‘s bugging her? Sapphire thought as she tugged down the sweater she’d haphazardly thrown on and smoothed her hands over her skirt. Maybe Sin will be more gentle with my skirt. Sapphire smirked internally.
“Yes, Madam Alpha? How can I help you?” Jasmine’s tone was clipped and her eyes were narrowed.
Sapphire blinked back in surprise, before her usual short temper flared to life. “Knock the bullshit off, Jasmine.”
Tears sprung up to Jasmine’s eyes as the woman took an instinctive step back. Ah, fuck me. Sapphire thought, feeling like the biggest bitch in the world. “Jasmine, I’m--”
“Did you have to butt in?” Jasmine asked vehemently.
Sapphire closed her mouth and waited for Jasmine to get whatever it was, off her chest.
“I was handling it. You didn’t have to go and say anything to Christopher. But you just couldn’t help it, could you?” Jasmine bit off, glaring at Sapphire "You-- who's always going off on your own little adventure, and doing whatever you want, and listening to absolutely no one-- want to command Christopher to work it out with me?
“It’s not your place, Madam Alpha. My personal life, my love life, does not fall under your jurisdiction. And why should it? All you’ve done since you got here is bitch and run away. That’s it. All you do is think about yourself with no regard for other people’s emotions. You didn't even realize that you’ve hurt Alpha Blackwater!
Sapphire didn't feel herself move when she slapped Jasmine hard enough across the face. Sapphire hadn’t even thought she’d ever slap another person.
Slowly lowering her red and throbbing palm, Sapphire looked at a stunned Jasmine. The woman had tears coursing down her cheeks and a large welt was forming on her cheek. But it was the look in her eyes that really got to Sapphire. It was belligerent and untrusting. A look that she often found in her own reflection before she met Sin.
It hurt Sapphire to see Jasmine looking at her like that, but at the same time Jasmine’s words had hurt her worse. It was as if jasmine had dug through her mind to find all her insecurities and lay them out in the worst possible manner. All her worst fear had been let out.
“I’m trying my best.” Sapphire said thickly and swallowed past the lump in her throat.
And she was. Despite everything Jasmine had said, and parts of Sapphire still believed, deep down she knew she’d changed. Even this conversation was a change for her. Where before she would have stopped Jasmine long before, she also would have done a lot more than just hit the woman.
Old Sapphire would have done what she always did: run away.
But this Sapphire, in the present, wasn’t running away. Even the slap she’d given Jasmine was tame compared to what she would have done. Everything about the moment demonstrated how far she’d come.
“I am trying my best, Jasmine.” Sapphire repeated, more to herself than anything. “I know I haven’t been the best alpha or the best mate, but right now, I’m trying. And I’m sorry that whatever's going on with you is making you project your fears and insecurities on me, but understand that I know who I am. I know the mistakes I’ve made in the past.”
Sapphire bit her lip, wanting to say so much more but feeling exhausted. it was all just too exhausting.
Shaking her head, Sapphire moved around Jasmine towards the staircase. “I’m going to take a walk. I have my cellphone if anybody needs me.” And with that, Sapphire walked down the stairs and out the front door.
Chapter 4
Sapphire kicked at a rock as she walked through the forest. “Jasmine’s right.” Sapphire admitted out loud, needing to taste the words on her tongue.
No, she’s not. Her rebellious inner voice chimed in.
Sapphire smiled grimly feeling the need to fight with herself. “All I do is bitch and run away. I don’t care who I hurt and I never learn my lesson.”
If you didn’t learn your lesson, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.
“Crap!” Sapphire snapped as the rock flew off and she lost it. With no other distraction, it was just her and her inner monologue.
Popping down on a tree root, Sapphire tucked her legs in, ready to do some self actualizing. Goodness knows she needed it.
“I--” She paused, wondering if she was ready to hear the words out loud. But she knew that if she didn’t get them out know, she’d just internalize them and hurt herself more. “I wanted the baby.”
Of course you did.
A lone tear slid down her cheek and was followed by many more. “I love Sin, and I don’t want to hurt him.”
The truth tore into her mind, making her chest ache. How she’d come to love Sin so much, she didn’t know. Before she hadn’t even been able to say the words, and admit the emotion to herself. She didn’t want to admit her feelings for him, because that gave them power.
Sapphire might have freaked out and run away when her brother Mark, had been kidnapped, but if anything was to happen to Sin… You wouldn’t be able to take it.
Sapphire lowered her head to her knees and silently sobbed. something she hadn’t done since her first week at the compound. Those first days, when she’d smelled spiced chocolate and known that
Sin was her mate, that she would be connected to another person for the rest of her life, had freaked her out.
What was worse if that even as time had gone, and she’d realized that the feelings she had for Sin weren’t going to go away, she still ran from them. Her brother’s kidnapping had been an excuse, because Sapphire knew that if she’d trusted Sin like he loved her, then they’d have found a solution to the problem together. But even then, she’d decided to fuck and run, rather than face her problems.
“Fuck all this self realization shit.” Sapphire groaned into her skirt, her tears soaking through the material.
Maybe she’d been wrong about where her clarity came from. Maybe it wasn’t the emotions she let out in sex that gave her clarity, but the emotions she imbibed. Maybe in those moments when the only thing on her mind is her love for Sin, the only thing filing her heart are her emotions, can she be honest with herself and find the problem.
Maybe sex didn’t really bring her clarity, but it brought the real emotions and thoughts she’d been trying to hide.
Chapter 5
“Hmm” Sapphire nestled deeper into the warm surrounding her, feeling like she was floating.
Sapphire. A soft, husky voice whispered to her. She recognized the voice as if she’d heard it all her life. It was her mate. Sin.
Burrowing deeper into the warmth, smooth cotton fabric rubbed up against her cheek. That’s strange. Sapphire thought with a frown. Trees don’t feel like warm cotton.
“Sapphire.” Sin’s voice whispered to her again, only this time it was out loud and very close to her ear.
Shaking off the last remaining traces of sleep, Sapphire opened her eyes to look up at Sin. it was only then that she realized she wasn’t sitting against a tree any more but was being carried through the forest in Sin’s arms.
“Let me down, Sin. I can walk.” Sapphire said as she began to squirm in his arms.
Sin chuckled, continuing to stride through the forest. “I like carrying you, Mate. I know you can’t run from me if you’re in my arms.”
Sapphire’s brows furrowed, and her eyes became hot again. Even though Sin had said the words jokingly, Sapphire knew he was right. How sad was it to think that the only way for her mate to feel like she wouldn’t run away from him was to hold her.
“What’s wrong, Sapphire?” Sin asked softly, clutching her closer to his body. “You’re really starting to worry me.”
Turning into him, Sapphire buried her head in his chest, feeling the tears stinging her eyes as the fell. God, I hate crying!
Sapphire felt Sin stop walking though he didn’t say anything. He didn’t complain about her weight nor did he didn’t pester her for her problems. Sin simply stood still with Sapphire clutched in his arms.
“I’m not pregnant.” Sapphire mumbled into his shirt.
“I couldn’t hear you?’ Sin said softly, forcing Sapphire to pull away from his chest and look into his eyes.
“I’m not pregnant.” She whispered.
Sin frowned slightly. “Did you think you were?”
Sapphire sniffed and nodded. “Yeah, I did.”
“Is that what this has been all about? The weird crying is because you thought you were pregnant?” Sin asked, confused.
Sapphire rolled her eyes and swung her leg out to be let down. immediately Sin lowered her so she was standing. “Yes. I mean partly. It’s just, I thought I was pregnant, but I wasn’t ready. Then I went to the doctor and he told me I wasn’t, and I felt…" She looked for the appropriate word and found nothing so she resorted to the simplest. "I felt sad and guilty, like maybe because I wished it, and that’s why I didn’t get pregnant.
“And I know you wanted children, Sin. I just feel like this is another way I’m failing you. It’s just another reason I’m not a good--”
Sin’s hands gripped Sapphire’s shoulders and shook her a little. His eyes were narrowed, his mouth set in a grim line. “What are you talking about, Sapphire?
“You have never failed me. I don’t even know how you could think that. I mean, yeah, you piss me off a lot, but never once have you failed me. And so what if you’re not pregnant? We have time.”
Sin’s voice was confused and angry. And it was only then that Sapphire realized she’d been worrying for nothing.
The entire day, she’d been freaking out about not being pregnant. Worried about what Sin would think, how he would look at her. Jasmine had only made the whole thing worse with her outburst.
But looking into Sin’s confused and worried eyes, Sapphire realized that she could have avoided feeling like shit all day if she’d just talked to Sin. Like an idiot she’d handled everything herself, carrying the entire burden.
You’re not an idiot. Her inner self defended. Sin couldn’t have helped you work out all the internal conflicted you had. Only you could do that.
It was true. Not being pregnant might have been the catalyst but everything else had been clawing to come out anyway. As much as it pained her to admit it, not even Sin would have been able to help her. She couldn’t have relied on him for the issue, because it was hers to work through.
Smiling, Sapphire shook her head. “You’re absolutely right.” Sapphire laughed softly. “We have time. I guess i was just worrying about too many things at once.”
Sin looked down at her, completely bewildered before he put his arms around her and pulled her close. “Even though I've been in your mind, I don’t think I’ll ever understand you, Mate.”
Sin’s arms were warm around her, his breath blowing gently against her hair. This is nice. Sapphire thought as she closed her eyes and relaxed into him. It was nice to just be with her mate without the pack breathing down their necks, without her fight or flight reflexes kicking in, without his dominating alpha attitude overpowering her. It was nice just to be themselves, just Sapphire and Sin.
“Are you up for a chase?” Sin asked suddenly, surprising Sapphire.
Pulling back she looked at him and smiled slowly. Ducking quickly, she stepped back from him, out of his arms. “What did you have in mind?”
Sin smiled at her, a few feet between them. “You run and I chase you.”
Sapphire batted her eyes and pouted. “What? No prize.”
Sin’s smiled wickedly and licked across his bottom lip. “What do you want?”
You, was her immediate response, but Sapphire paused. Sin didn’t think she’d actually ask for anything of consequence, but that’s where he was wrong. If her self-realization session has taught her anything it was that thinking things through carefully and sharing your thoughts with another person was the right way to go.
What do I want then? She pondered.
“If I win, I want to be included in all pack affairs, both within the pack and outside. I don’t want there to be a distinction between our positions.” Sapphire said calmly, waiting for Sin’s reaction.
Instantly his face softened, and his body language relaxed from predator to companion. “You already have that, Sapphire. I'm sorry if I made it seem like you didn’t.”
Sapphire sent a wealth of love through their link, practically showering Sin in her emotions. “No prizes then.” She said softly, not needing anything else from him.
Sin smirked at her and walked over to Sapphire, circling her with every word. “Oh no, I want a prize. If I win, Sapphire… I want you to marry me.”
Taking a deep breath in, Sapphire followed him with her eyes. He was just circling her front when she whispered softly-- “Deal.”-- and took off running.
Leaping over a fall tree, she easily shifted into her wolf form, all sleek muscle and fur. She hadn’t really been out in the forest since the last time they’d shifted into wolves and Sin had tracked her down and taken her against the forest floor. It had been a turning point for their relationship: the moment Sapphire had accepted Sin as her mate.
But the forest didn’t matter, because that wasn’t where she wanted to go. Instead she sniffed the air as she ran, following the smell o
f roasted meat and baked sweets that constantly wafted from her kitchen. Emerging from the tree-line, Sapphire skirted the back of the house, wondering how far or how close Sin was.
She reached the front steps of their home and shifted into a human to push the doors wide. The foyer was deserted, and she was happy for that because she’d lost her clothes when she’d shifted, and while she wasn’t overly concerned about her nudity, she wasn’t one to strut around naked.
Moving further into the foyer, Sapphire was struck by yet another memory: Their first time.
Submitting to the Alpha (Paranormal Werewolf Shifter Romance) Page 2
