Word and Breath (Wordless Chronicles)

by Susannah Noel

  “But why?”

  It was Riana, and her weak question was helpless and utterly bewildered.

  Mikel didn’t know what to say. He’d hardly thought everything through himself. How could he possibly explain it to her?

  Finally, he muttered, “I’ve never met anyone like you before. And, for the first time, I feel like I don’t want to just look out for myself.”

  He cringed inwardly at how stupid he’d sounded. But, when he looked up, Riana was peering at Tava with an anxious expression, as if she were desperate to get confirmation of his words.

  Tava nodded her head. “He’s telling the truth. No question.”

  Riana sat back, and Mikel could tell she’d had her questions answered.

  It hadn’t been as bad as he’d feared—just a few uncomfortable moments but nothing that had pulled him apart the way it might have.

  He wasn’t a fool. He knew it had been as painless as it was because both Tava and Riana were generous and weren’t out to rip him to shreds.

  Without realizing what he was doing, he sent out his gratitude to Tava through their connection.

  Her face reflected surprise, then understanding. “You have no idea who you’re dealing with here,” she murmured, to him alone. “Don’t judge everyone by who you’ve known before.”

  “What?” Riana asked, looking from one to the other. “What do you mean?”

  “Later,” Tava said—not unkindly.

  Mikel realized then that her hold on the connection was weakening. He’d been surprised by her skill, but she wasn’t as strong or experienced a Breather as he was.

  So he exerted more of himself into the connection, relieving some of the strain on her.

  They couldn’t keep this open indefinitely though. They’d have to finish it up quickly.

  “Thank you,” Tava whispered to him. Then she turned to Riana. “Do you have any more questions?”

  Riana shook her head, looking dazed and exhausted.

  Tava had obviously been prepped beforehand. Whoever was in charge of the movement had given her certain questions to ask.

  The Librarian. The leader of the Front. Mikel had heard stories about him and remembered sneering at the name. But the man couldn’t be a fool—not if he’d organized a movement as large and successful as the Front. It might be his strategy at work here in the room, his questions voiced now by Tava.

  “Are you willing to help the Front?”

  Mikel blinked. “If that’s the best way to help Riana.”

  “That’s not good enough. In order to help Riana find her sister, you’re going to have to work with us. Will you be loyal to the Front with what you learn in the process?”

  Swallowing, Mikel made the decision. He was too far gone now to make any other. “Yes. As long as it’s understood that I’m not part of the movement. I’m helping Riana. Unless she tells me otherwise, I’ll keep any secrets I learn.”

  “Do you have any other allegiances—besides yourself and Riana—that would interfere with your loyalty to the Front?”

  “No. None. I’ve never been an idealist.”

  “When you discover certain people who are involved in the movement, will you protect their identity?”

  “Yes. When I said I’d keep your secrets, I meant all of them.”

  Tava’s face changed, and the intensity he could sense in the connection eased up a bit. Apparently, he’d passed the main tests.

  Maybe they were almost finished with this.

  “Does Captain Largan trust you?”

  This one surprised him. He had to think about it before he answered. “Yes. I think so.”

  “Explain your hesitance.”

  “I have no reason to believe he doesn’t trust me. He doesn’t like me, and I think I make him uncomfortable. But I’m certain he doesn’t question my loyalty. He knows I’m mercenary, and he pays me a lot.”

  “Can you really open a connection light enough that the target doesn’t realize what you’re doing?”

  Mikel smiled as he realized that this wasn’t one of the pre-prepared questions. Tava genuinely just wanted to know.

  “Yes,” he told her. “I’ll help you learn how to do it, if you want.”

  He’d never offered to do anything like that before. He was proud of his own abilities, and he’d mostly just hoarded them for himself.

  He respected Tava, however, and he appreciated her consideration in this connection.

  He couldn’t think of any reason not to help her develop her abilities.

  “Okay,” Tava said, relaxing visibly. “That’s all I have.” She looked at Riana questioning. “Shall we end it?”

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  Mikel wasn’t sure if Riana was thanking just Tava or both of them.

  He pulled his hand away at the same time Tava did hers, and the connection severed cleanly, despite Tava’s mental fatigue.

  “All right then,” Tava said, turning to Riana immediately, “You heard the truth from him. You can trust him as much as you can anyone. What do you want to do now?”

  “I want to get my sister back.”

  “We’re all ready to help you do that. How do you want to start?”

  This must have been part of the prepared strategy too. The wisdom in placing the responsibility, the choices, on Riana alone at this particular moment didn’t feel as much like Tava as it did the person who’d prepped her for this encounter.

  Mikel really wanted to meet that person.

  Apparently, he and Riana were like-minded in more than one way. “I want to meet the Librarian.”

  The words out of context sounded ridiculous—but, knowing the context and the rumors surrounding the unknown force behind the Front, the words instead seemed inevitable.

  But clearly Tava hadn’t expected that. “What?”

  “The Librarian. The leader. I want to meet him. I want answers about a lot of things, and I want to get them from him. I’m tired of having things happen to me without knowing why. I’m not going to let that happen anymore.”

  Riana looked tired and determined and impossibly stubborn. She wasn’t going to back down.

  Tava saw it too. “All right. I’ll have to talk to him first. He has his own reasons for staying in the shadows. Do you want to stay here for now?” She glanced over at Mikel with obvious intent. “You’re welcome to stay at my place if you’d rather.”

  Riana looked at Mikel too. She moistened her lips and said, “I’ll stay here.”

  Mikel wanted to sigh in relief, but he managed not to convey his feelings.

  After a few more minutes of concluding conversation, Tava and the unnamed, armed men left.

  Mikel immediately turned to Riana, putting his hand on her arm, “Riana, please say you believe me now.”

  She pulled her arm away. The move was gentle but it still stung. “I believe you. I don’t really have a choice.” Her face twisted. “My mind trusts you. But I don’t think my...my...I don’t feel like I trust you again. Yet. Does that made sense?”

  With a silent exhale of resignation, Mikel admitted to himself that it made perfect sense. She’d been betrayed. And it wouldn’t matter to her—at least not right away—that Mikel regretted it and wished he could take it back.

  “I understand,” he murmured. “I can wait. You’ll let me help you, though?”

  For just a moment, Riana’s eyes were absolutely aching. “Yes. I’m desperate. I’ll take all the help I can get.”

  ***

  “No!”

  “Connor, you’re being ridiculous,” Tava insisted, looking like she wouldn’t mind walloping him upside the head. “You can hardly blame her for not wanting to be led around in the dark anymore. There’s no reason for you not to meet with her.”

  Experiencing a slow, lowering sense of impending doom—like he was fighting a losing battle—Connor still didn’t back down. “We’ve already discussed this. I’m not going to keep having the same argument.”

  “Then stop acting like a chi
ld and accept the fact that you can’t hide from her anymore.”

  Connor flinched. “I’m not trying to hide. There are considerations—”

  “Your considerations are worthless,” Tava snapped, clearly at the end of her rope. “You know it as well as I do. Unless you don’t trust her...”

  He knew she was baiting him, but he reacted defensively just the same. “Of course, I trust her.”

  Tava’s dark eyes softened, and she put a comforting hand on his arm. “You don’t, you know. That’s what the problem is.”

  “What does that mean?” He wished she would just leave this be. Wished everyone wouldn’t keep pushing him into something he’d given up years ago.

  “You don’t really trust her. Not in the way it counts.” Before he could object, she explained, “You don’t trust her not to unknowingly stomp all over your poor heart.”

  It was so inappropriate. And so insulting. And so absolutely true. Connor just stared straight in front of him, unable to say anything at all.

  Finally, he rubbed his face with both his palms and groaned. “Does everyone know?” There was no sense in holding onto defensiveness when he was so obviously without a leg to stand on.

  Tava chuckled and patted his shoulder. “Of course not. Jenson knew, of course. And me. And Kelvin, I’m sure, since he’s around you all the time. And probably anyone who saw you yesterday—you were a little...upset. And—”

  “Stop,” he begged, putting up a hand in defense. “I’ll meet with her. Bring her by my office tomorrow morning.”

  “I assume you don’t want Mikel there too.”

  Connor gave her a look that needed no further answer.

  He had been extremely disturbed to learn that the Soul-Breather in question was Mikel. Mikel was notorious for his advanced and nuanced abilities—as well as his irresistibility to women.

  “He’ll be hard to put off,” Tava said, her expression thoughtful. “He was quite clear about his loyalties, and he’s not going to want Riana to go into an unknown situation by herself.”

  Connor surprised himself by making a sound like a growl. “He’ll have to deal with it. She’s not going into an unknown situation. She has deeper ties to us than she has to him.” Taking off his glasses, he cleaned the lenses and prayed Tava wasn’t going to disagree with his last statement.

  “He’s not going to understand or believe that.”

  “I don’t care what he understands or believes. I don’t care how honest he was this afternoon. I don’t trust him. And he’s not to know who I am.”

  Tava nodded, agreeing with his assessment. “I’ll do my best. But Riana is really calling the shots here. I think she’ll understand why she has to meet with you alone, though.”

  Connor wished he weren’t so out of the loop—having to rely on Tava’s experience and judgment to understand what was so important to him. “Are you sure we can trust him? It seems like an unnecessary risk.”

  “I think it might be necessary,” Tava said slowly, gently. “Not just for Riana, but for us. You still don’t understand the kind of resource we suddenly have with Mikel. It’s not just his position and contacts. I’m talking about his strength.” Her eyes were almost glowing as she remembered. “You should have felt him. I’d never experienced anyone else with that kind of depth and power. And he was kind—truly. Generous. I hadn’t expected that. It was...”

  Connor looked away so she wouldn’t see his sneer at her awed expression. “Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for him too.”

  Tava gave him an odd look, holding it until he closed his eyes with a pang of guilt.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m treating you horribly today.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I know what you’re dealing with. And, like I said this morning, you have got to get some sleep.” She paused, as if she weren’t sure she wanted to say the rest of it. “I’m not sure she’s really fallen for him.”

  Connor shot her a searching gaze.

  “I don’t know for sure,” Tava explained slowly. “I mean, there’s obviously an attachment there, and he’s already halfway in love with her.”

  Connor’s fist tightened in his lap. “He said that?”

  “No. I don’t think he really knows it himself yet. But it wasn’t that hard to sense in him.”

  “He’s just known her for a matter of days. People don’t fall in love so quickly.” It had taken Connor years to realize he was in love with Riana. She’d been so young when he’d first met her, even though fourteen was considered adult by all Union standards. It had been three years before his feelings for her had fully transformed, and then another year before he’d admitted it to himself.

  “Soul-Breathers do. You don’t understand how quickly and surely we know people when we open a connection with them.” She glanced away, her face growing pained as she whispered, “I fell in love with Jenson in less than a week.”

  The sudden jolt of pain was so sharp that Connor momentarily lost his breath. For just a minute, he’d almost forgotten that his cousin was dead.

  “But anyway,” she went on, her voice cracking just a little, “Her feelings don’t seem to have progressed that far—and with the betrayal she suffered she’s pulled back in defense. Don’t assume it’s a lost cause. You aren’t that bad a catch yourself, you know.”

  Connor snorted. “I’m meeting with her because I have to—to help her find her sister—not to pursue a love affair.”

  Tava smiled, in both tenderness and amusement. “There’s no reason why you shouldn’t do both.”

  ***

  Riana was almost relieved that she’d had to leave Mikel behind when the man named Kelvin came to pick her up and bring her to meet the Librarian.

  Mikel had been lurking constantly, watching her, silent and protective.

  It made her nervous. And uncomfortable. And she was glad for the break from it—even if she’d had to tell Mikel point blank, when he argued about her going alone, that he wasn’t allowed to come with her.

  It was uncomfortable enough to hear what she’d heard the day before about his feelings for her and why he was helping her. The confusion and lingering betrayal she felt made it even worse.

  She had no idea what she was supposed to think or feel about the whole thing. She still had that instinctive attachment to him, but nothing else about her feelings was simple.

  So she needed to let it rest for a while. To not dwell on it or force herself to figure it out. There was too much else to worry about, and a possible romance was the last thing on the priority list.

  If Mikel could help and could be trusted, then she wanted him to. But that was as much as she knew for now.

  Kelvin drove her over to the east side and stopped in front of a walk-in clinic. Surprised, Riana got out of the car when he did and was even more surprised when he ignored the clinic and took her into an alley.

  They walked a few blocks before they got to an old warehouse. Kelvin opened a back entrance and ushered her in.

  “This is where the Librarian is?” she asked, looking at the dingy hall. She had expected something a little more covert and mysterious. And cleaner. “Where is this?”

  “Headquarters.” Kelvin wasn’t much of a talker, and he urged her forward into the warehouse.

  Riana gazed around the large space. There were crates stacked against the far wall and other boxes scattered around the middle of the floor. “What’s all this stuff?”

  “The warehouse is used to store freight from a local discount store.”

  “For real?”

  “It wouldn’t be a convincing ruse if it weren’t a working warehouse.”

  That made sense. And it was the longest sentence she’d heard from him yet. So she nodded and followed him up the back stairway.

  She was led into an office, and Kelvin told her to take a seat.

  She lowered herself onto the sofa and looked around. The desk was large and cluttered, and the rest of the furniture was worn and faded. It felt pleasant thoug
h—lived in and tasteful, despite the stark, disagreeable warehouse beneath them.

  It wasn’t anything like the dark, high-tech den she’d imagined for the leader of the Front.

  “Is this his office?” she asked Kelvin, who’d moved to the doorway.