Word and Breath (Wordless Chronicles)

by Susannah Noel

  “I know,” he acknowledged. “I’m sorry I implied otherwise. I know it’s not just about him. But he wants to take you away from me, and I can’t help resenting him for it.”

  “He wants the best for me.”

  Mikel snarled faintly and looked so adorable in his displeasure that she was tempted to hug him.

  She didn’t. “He does, Mikel. You have different ideas about what the best thing for me is, but I won’t let you imply that Connor’s motivations are anything but good.”

  After shifting his position against the table, Mikel muttered under his breath. She knew it was from his continued discomfort and the frustration of not bouncing back to full health immediately. “So what do you want to do?” he asked.

  “I want to stay. At least for now. I want to see if I can translate that book. I want to find answers about what my grandfather left me to do. I want to know what all of this means. I want to help people. I want—I need—to do good.”

  Mikel took her face in both of his hands, the way he always did before he kissed her. “I can’t be part of the Front.”

  It hurt. So much. Even though she’d known it was coming. Her face twisted as she fought against tears. “Okay. That’s your choice. I’m…I’m really sorry to lose you.”

  He made a rough sound in his throat. “Riana, you’re not losing me.”

  “I’m not?”

  “Of course not. You need to do what you need to do. I’m not going to stand in the way of it. I’d rather you do something else, but I’m not giving up on us. I didn’t find you only to lose you.”

  She swallowed, feeling a surge of encouragement. “So…so you’re not leaving me?”

  He smiled and leaned down to kiss her, opening a connection that left them both breathless. Leaning his head against her forehead, he murmured, “Of course I’m not leaving you. Am I crazy? But it’s going to be hard. Connor is going to want to take advantage of what I can do for the Front, and I won’t want to help him. So we’re always going to be at odds. I’ll be here. And, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do. Except be part of the Front.”

  Her hands fisted in his thick hair. “That’s fine. That’s fine. You don’t have to be part of it. I just want you with me.”

  He pulled her into a one-armed hug, taking care with his injured shoulder. “I’ll be with you. I’m not going anywhere. I was serious last night about marrying you, if that’s what you want.”

  She stiffened slightly but didn’t pull away from the embrace. “I think it’s too soon for that. You know how I feel, but so much has happened in such a short time. I need to figure out who I am first. I need to get more…settled. Then, if it’s still right for both of us…”

  He was disappointed. She could feel it in his body. But he just buried his face in her hair and said, “Okay. I can wait.”

  Then he tilted her head back to kiss her again. She couldn’t seem to pull away. She sensed exactly what he was feeling—his love, his concern about her decision, his deep tenderness, the unbreakable iron in his nature. She could feel it in his touch, in his breath, in the heat from his body. She didn’t need a Breather’s gift to know it for sure.

  “Are you sure you’re all right with this, Mikel?” she asked hoarsely as she pulled away. “I know it’s not what you want. I know it will be hard for you. I don’t want to take advantage of you or—“

  “Shh,” he interrupted, covering her mouth with his fingertips. “Riana, don’t be ridiculous. No, it’s not exactly what I wanted, but it’s so much better than anything I’ve ever had before.”

  “Really?”

  “You have no idea what my life was like before. I’m not a good man, and I can’t be like Connor, always trying to make the world better. But, if you want to help him, if you want to do something good, then I want you to do that. I’m not about to let you go. The only good in my life—the only good I’ve ever known—is you.”

  She was almost crying when he finished talking, choking on emotion so strong she could barely process it. He reached out again, and his touch tingled on her face. They shared the feeling in the connection.

  Then he finally dropped his hand.

  Suddenly, she realized how weak he looked. For a moment, she thought he might faint. “You need to lie down,” she said, wrapping her arm around his waist and urging him into a walk. “I’d never be able to pick you up if you fall down, and then Connor would have to come help you. You’d hate that.”

  He chuckled faintly as he limped to the kitchen door with her. “You could at least try to soothe my ego and pretend I’m as tough as nails. I’ve already embarrassed myself enough for one day.”

  She felt a lot more like herself—her newer, better self—when she replied, “You lie down first, and then I’ll pretend all you want. But I have to warn you. I’m not all that good at soothing egos.”

  ***

  When Captain Largan trudged from the train station to his house that night, he had to fight an overwhelming depression.

  He’d failed—in the most of colossal of ways. Not only had he faced the public, professional humiliation of losing Riana Cole after she’d been brought into his office, but he also had watched his dream die.

  He’d been sure the translation of the book would be his life’s work. Now he’d lost, not only the one means he had of translating it, but also the copy of the book itself.

  A failure, if ever there was one.

  When he entered his house, he greeted the nurse and then made his way into the converted den where his wife was sleeping.

  She looked so much older than she had a few years ago. Her hair was thinning and had turned completely gray. Her skin looked too loose for her thin face, and her body was heartbreakingly fragile.

  During the first year, he’d pursued every possible avenue of finding a cure for her. But by now they’d both accepted the inevitable.

  It was nearly impossible to find a cure when no doctor in the Union knew what disease she had.

  Largan sat and watched her slow breathing. Tried not to think of having to go back into work the next day. He’d have to face the backlash from the capital for the mess he’d made of the Riana Cole situation. He’d have to keep preparing for the President’s visit—a nightmare he’d gotten behind on during the crises of the last week.

  He’d have to go back to his tedious duties, accepting the fact that he’d lost the book he’d thought might change everything.

  His wife shifted uncomfortably in the bed. Then she opened her eyes and smiled at him. “Hi, baby,” she said hoarsely.

  She still called him that. He was used to it, but tonight it made him feel like he might choke. “Hi. How was your day?”

  Shrugging his question away, her sharp eyes scrutinized his face. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

  “Nothing,” he lied. When he recognized that she’d never let him get away with that answer, he let out a long, broken exhalation. “I just... You know how things are for me at work. But I had a project going there. Something that really mattered. I don’t know—I did some things I don’t really like to make it happen. And it fell apart today anyway.”

  “Oh no. I’m so sorry.” The love and sympathy on her face was almost more than Largan could stand, and he had to look away. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not now.” He cleared his throat at the sound of his voice. “Maybe later. It’s just something I thought I could do that would really...that would really matter.”

  They both were silent for a long time.

  Then, finally, she asked, “How long have you been taking care of me?”

  It was a rhetorical question so he didn’t respond, but he knew the answer. He knew the exact number of days, stretching out endlessly, painfully over the last few years. The hardest thing he’d ever done in his life.

  But he didn’t care. He loved her. And he wanted just as many days more to take care of her.

  “You don’t have to keep looking for it, baby.” She covered the hand he’d reste
d on the bed with her own. “You’re doing the thing that matters right here.”

  Eighteen

  Connor parked Jenson’s car at the end of a long gravel driveway. It was his car now, he supposed, but he would always think about it as his cousin’s.

  He looked around at the sprawling mountain estate, breathing in the crisp air and wishing he could live somewhere like this all the time.

  His work was in the city, so he had to spend most of his time there. But he loved the mountains, the cool, clean breeze, and the Georgian mansion surrounded by trees.

  After he tried the front door, he went around to the back. When he walked by the stables, he saw Riana in the adjacent yard.

  She’d been learning how to ride a horse during the two weeks she’d spent here. At the moment, she was trotting on a brown mare around the practice field, and Connor stopped to watch her instead of approaching.

  She was wearing her braids again, and they bounced around her shoulders as she moved with the horse. She had a pretty good seat, for just having ridden two weeks, and she was grinning in a way that made him smile.

  The sun glinted off her brown hair, and he could hear her laughter drifting over to him with the breeze.

  Connor had spent a good portion of the last two weeks covering all their bases in Newtown and tying up loose ends. The Union police had backed down on their search for Riana. That first day had been the most dangerous, but they’d been able to get her out of the city without being caught. Largan was still officially searching for Riana, but Connor could tell his heart wasn’t really in it.

  Connor had also done a lot of work in investigating the actions of the Zealots—who were so intent on killing Riana. There appeared to be a well-organized group of them in Newtown, a group he hadn’t known about before. They must have members scattered throughout the Union offices, and they were far too well-informed on events and agendas.

  Their presence was a real problem. In some ways, they were more of a threat to the Front and its members than the Union itself. Zealots held rigidly to views and beliefs that were counter the Front’s, and they weren’t afraid of actively, violently pursuing their goals.

  Now that they had become organized, the Front would have to start opposing them more intentionally.

  Connor had kept Riana’s location a secret from even his most trusted of advisors. The fewer people who knew where she was the better. He’d experienced an inkling of suspicion over the last two weeks. The Zealots’ presence in that alley when they rescued Jannie really bothered him.

  It was possible that the mole in Largan’s office had tipped them off to Mikel’s having brought Riana in, but it didn’t feel quite right.

  The Front wasn’t immune to traitors itself.

  Connor shook his thoughts away and tried to relax. He always came to this estate to refresh his spirit and get some rest. Now that Riana and her sister were here, it offered him even more than that.

  Riana called out something as she trotted around the fenced yard. Connor’s eyes drifted until he found Jannie lounging on the grass near the stables.

  Over the last few weeks, Connor had done at least part of what he’d needed. They’d helped to keep Riana alive. They’d rescued her sister. They’d gotten a copy of the book—a book he was sure was as important as Largan thought.

  Riana laughed again at something Jannie had said to her. The sound gave Connor as much satisfaction as his recognition of what they’d managed to accomplish.

  Riana was happy. That was so important to him.

  Then she saw him and waved enthusiastically, so Connor walked over to join her.

  “Reed!” she called, pulling the horse to a halt and scrabbling off of it. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming out?”

  She ran over toward him and, at her obvious pleasure in seeing him, Connor considered himself fully satisfied.

  If his heart skipped a few beats when she hugged him, and if he breathed in the fresh, sunshiny scent of her a little too long, those were details he just couldn’t help.

  She pulled away, her sharp gaze missing no detail of his appearance. “And you’re wearing jeans,” she gloated.

  Connor chuckled self-consciously. “I do, occasionally, you know.”

  “Have you been stressed? You look kind of tired.”

  He had been stressed and rather tired, but he felt just fine at the moment. “I’m doing well. Been busy, but I think most of the details are covered now.”

  “And everything is okay?” Her gray eyes scanned his face.

  “I think so.” He took her arm companionably and started to walk toward Jannie, who was loudly complaining about being left out. “How’s Jannie?”

  “She’s been great.” Riana’s smile was real. “She doesn’t seem to have suffered too much damage from the kidnapping. I think Largan took pretty good care of her, considering. And she’s loved it here. I think maybe she even seems a little stronger. She’s only had one or two bad days.”

  Her smile faltered a little. “I wish someone could figure out what’s wrong with her.”

  “That’s still possible,” Connor murmured, wondering what it had been like for Riana to watch her sister’s health go slowly downhill for so many years. “Don’t give up hope.”

  They’d reached Jannie, so they let the subject drop.

  “Hi, Connor,” Jannie called out, grinning up at him from her blanket. “You’re looking like quite the stud in that leather jacket.”

  Connor groaned as he sank to the grass beside Jannie, and he groaned even more when Riana laughed at his self-consciousness as she sat cross-legged beside him.

  “You’re embarrassing him,” she said in a teasing stage-whisper to her sister. “He doesn’t consider himself a stud.”

  “Can we find a more appropriate word, please?” he asked, fighting against responding amusement. “Even I know that one’s outdated.”

  When the girls laughed appreciatively, he cleared his throat. “And I’ll have you know I don’t always wear old-fashioned clothes.”

  Jannie howled with hilarity at his peeved tone, and Riana patted his arm reassuringly. “I happen to like you in old-fashioned clothes.”

  For some reason, her fond expression made him more self-conscious than their teasing had done. He cleared his throat again and distracted himself by taking off the brown leather jacket that had earned Jannie’s admiration.

  It was late October, but it was warm in the sun.

  “So how are things, really?” Riana asked, sobering a little. “Does everything seem to be under control? I keep worrying that rescuing Jannie might have messed things up for the Front.”

  “No, everything is fine. As far as we can tell, nobody is suspected any more now than they were before. Tava has moved, just to be safe, but I think things are falling back into the status-quo. How are you both doing? Getting bored here yet?”

  “Bored?” Jannie said, “How could we get bored here? It’s like paradise.”

  He could tell she meant it. Her blue eyes were wide and sincere.

  “Thanks for arranging for us to come here,” Riana said, although she’d thanked him every time she’d seen him for the last two weeks. “I think it’s been really good for us.”

  “I’m glad.” Connor studied her face, wondering how she was really doing. Whether she missed Mikel too much.

  Mikel had been gone these last two weeks. Since he was planning to stay in Newtown with Riana, he had to establish an entirely new identity. That wasn’t easy in a society under Union control. Connor suspected he’d probably gone to a free island to lay the foundations for a convincing identity, so he could return with a new name and background.

  Riana had told Connor that Mikel didn’t want to be part of the Front, so Connor wasn’t allowed to try to use the Soul-Breather to help their causes. It was a loss to the Front, but Connor would never have bullied someone into helping them anyway. What made him angry was that Mikel wanted to have the best of both worlds.

  He wante
d Riana—the sweetest gift a man could be offered—without trying to live up to what she deserved.

  “Riana misses him a lot,” Jannie put in, as if she’d read Connor’s mind.

  With an outraged huff, Riana glared at her sister. “Jannie!”

  “Well, you do! I know you’re pretending to be perfectly happy, but I’m not stupid, you know.” Jannie’s chin was protruding obstinately. “How long will he be gone, do you think?”

  “I don’t know,” Riana replied, sobering. “He thought at least a month. I hope he’s all right.”

  Then she smiled. “Of course, I miss him. And I worry about him. But I’m excited about what I can do here. If someone would ever get around to giving me some work to do…” Riana’s tone was teasing, but she gave Connor a significant look.