She wasn’t seventeen anymore. All the dreams and hopes of that younger, more innocent Hailey had been crushed and ground into the dirt. She knew exactly what she could hope for. Life had taught her that she could have no illusions about what her future held.
Damn him for giving her even the tiniest sliver of hope.
Despite all that, she hadn’t been too proud to tell him what she wanted, what she could allow herself to have. She’d expected him to refuse her, but instead he’d managed to shatter her heart one more time.
He’d agreed to her terms. Simultaneously thrilled and dismayed, she’d waited to see what he’d do next. When he’d slipped the key into the ignition and driven them back to town for lunch, she’d been shocked. Truth be told, she’d been looking forward to some fast and furious lovemaking in the cab of his truck.
She’d powered through her lunch, tasting nothing except her own confusion. Her entire body throbbed and ached with unfulfilled desire. While he chowed down, teasing and acting generally unaffected.
After the quick lunch, they headed back to the house where Dolores was just finishing up. Glancing at the clock, Hailey was stunned to notice she had less than an hour left before finishing for the day.
Mac immediately made himself scarce. Smart move. Meanwhile, the time with Dolores had exhausted Gus, and all he wanted to do was sleep. Which left Hailey with little to do besides tidy up.
When two o’clock came, Hailey debated simply getting into her car and heading home without informing Mac. But in good conscience, she knew how he could lose track of time, and she didn’t want to leave Gus alone.
As she opened the door to go look for him, she saw him heading back toward the house from the barn. She stepped outside, car keys in hand, unaccountably nervous.
“Are you taking off?” His broad, friendly smile made her feel better.
“Yes. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She managed to dredge up something close to a smile. “Have a good night.”
“You, too.” He waved, and then disappeared inside the house, leaving her staring after him. She wasn’t sure which was worse—too much emotional insight, or pretending that everything was just hunky-dory.
After picking up the kids from school, she made a quick stop for gas. When she went in to pay, she got each of them a special treat. A candy bar—dark chocolate for Tara, nuts and chocolate for Tom, and peanut butter and chocolate for Eli. Their favorites.
Their squeals of delight as she passed them out lifted her mood. Everything would be all right. It had to be.
When they got home, the house was quiet. June’s bedroom door was closed, which wasn’t unusual. She had the master bedroom, with its own bath. She’d put in an appearance on her own time, which usually was when she got hungry.
Normalcy reigned for the rest of the afternoon, which was just how Hailey liked it. The kids did their homework, then fought over which TV show they were going to watch. Hailey sighed and hoped they’d work it out among themselves. She prepared dinner, one of the kids’ favorites—hamburger tacos—and waited for her mother to stomp into the kitchen and demand to be fed.
Instead, when dinner was done and the table set, Hailey told her siblings to go ahead and start while she fetched their mother. A quick knock on the bedroom door produced no response. Dread coiling in her stomach—she hated finding June passed out drunk—Hailey tried the knob. It turned easily. Taking a deep breath, Hailey stepped inside.
The messy bed looked normal, but empty. Hailey walked around to the other side, just to make sure her mother wasn’t lying on the floor. The door to June’s bathroom was closed, but no sounds of water running came from inside.
“Mom?” Hailey tapped sharply. “Are you in there? Is everything all right?”
No answer.
Trying the door and finding this one locked, Hailey clenched her teeth so tightly her jaw hurt. “Please, open the door. If there’s any way you can. Please.”
Nothing.
Tara peeked around the corner. “What’s going on? Is Mom all right?”
“I don’t know.” Hailey tried to keep her voice calm. “She’s apparently locked herself in the bathroom.”
At those words, Tom and Eli joined Tara. Exchanging apprehensive looks, they tentatively entered the master bedroom.
Hailey reached up and felt along the top of the door frame for the spare key they always kept there. Except it was gone.
Great. Biting back a curse, she turned to face the others. “I guess I’m going to have to try to pick the lock.” Which she had no idea how to do.
“Let me try.” Tom ran off and returned carrying a paper clip. He unbent it and, working with such intense concentration his tongue poked out of his mouth, began using it on the lock.
Criminal in training? Or merely the result of curiosity and experimenting? Hailey made a mental note to ask him later where he’d learned to do that.
A few seconds later, they heard a click.
“Here we go.” Raising his hands in victory, Tom stepped back. Way back, nearly all the way to the bedroom door. So did his brother and sister. Hailey couldn’t blame them. Who knew what they might find inside the bathroom? Hopefully, there wouldn’t be blood, and June would be at least partially dressed.
“You all wait here,” Hailey ordered. Then she turned the doorknob and stepped inside.
Her mother sat in the bathtub, head lolling against the side doors. An empty bottle of vodka and a prescription pill bottle sat on the side of the tub.
Horrible accident or on purpose?
Later, after 911 had been called and their mother taken away to the hospital, Hailey pushed away her fears about money and sat down on the couch with her arms around all three of her badly shaken siblings.
“Was it an accident?” Eli asked, his blue eyes round.
“Of course it was,” Hailey said, shooting the two teenagers a warning look over Eli’s head. “I’m fixing to drive to the hospital, and I want you all to promise me you’ll stay right here.”
“We promise,” they all chorused.
“Good. Tara, I’m putting you in charge. Boys, do what your sister says.”
It was a measure of how shell-shocked they were that no one argued. Their mother needed help. This was the first time she’d done anything like this, but now Hailey worried it wouldn’t be the last. She was lucky to be alive.
She needed treatment. Counseling. Once again, not something she had money for, but maybe there were some state agencies or something that could assist. For now, once they’d pumped her stomach, the hospital would keep her under observation. At least June had Medicaid due to a career-ending back injury she’d had shortly after Brenda died. They wouldn’t have to worry too much about those bills. She’d work out some kind of payment plan if she had to.
Stomach burning, chest tight with worry, Hailey told herself she’d deal with this minute by minute. No problem was too big not to have a solution. Her belief in this mantra had been instrumental in helping her make it through the last ten years.
After kissing each of them on the cheek, Hailey got in her car and headed to the hospital. The Check Engine light had come on a few days ago, but she didn’t have the money to find out what might be wrong. She’d added a quart of oil since that always seemed to help and hoped that would hold the jalopy together for a bit longer. She didn’t know what she would do once the car died. They didn’t have money to buy another, that’s for sure.
On the way, every time she thought of finding her mother in the tub, her heart flip-flopped in her chest. The day had been rather eventful. But this...
She thought back to the past, remembering what life had been like after Brenda’s murder. Mac’s father. She remembered how shocked she’d been when she’d learned he’d been arrested for her sister’s murder. The withered, gaunt shell of a man in the hospital
bed bore no resemblance to the jovial giant she remembered. She’d spent that day—in fact, the next several days—locked in her room. Her mother and stepfather, Aaron, had started fighting, horrible, vicious battles, taking out their shock and grief on each other.
That day, Mac had called numerous times. Unable to talk to anyone, she’d never answered, finally turning the phone off.
She shook her head. Even thinking of those dark days made her feel ill. They’d all done their best to continue with their lives—everyone except June. Hailey realized she’d been fooling herself that her mother would ever get better. What had happened today had shifted everything into a different perspective. And she couldn’t deal with this alone.
Pulling into the hospital lot, Hailey parked. Then she took a deep breath and dialed Mac’s number.
* * *
When Mac saw Hailey’s number come up on the screen of his phone, his heart stuttered in his chest. After he answered, when she began speaking in a shaky rush of words, he had to struggle to understand. One thing he did get was the word hospital.
“Slow down,” he told her. “Take a deep breath.” He listened while she did. “Now tell me what happened.”
Her mother’s bathtub incident—whether actual suicide attempt or horrible accident—stunned him. Hailey was so distraught, he knew he had to go to her. “I’ll meet you at the hospital,” he said and ended the call.
After asking his father if he’d be all right for an hour alone, Mac jumped on his motorcycle and raced off into town.
When he arrived and parked, he hurried into the ER. The triage nurse pursed her lips but buzzed him into the back. “Her daughter’s with her now. Room 17.”
He found the room with no difficulty. The door sat slightly ajar, so he pushed it open and entered. Hailey sat in a chair next to the unconscious woman in the bed, hunched over, her head in her hands. She looked up when he entered. The agonized expression on her face had him crossing the room quickly and pulling her into his arms.
He held her, saying nothing, breathing the fresh, clean scent of her hair and wishing things could have been different. The fact that Hailey had called him gave him hope. Given enough time, he thought there might be a chance to change things.
When she finally broke away, he saw from the tear tracks on her face that she’d been silently crying.
Wiping the back of her hand across her face, she looked at him. “She needs help, Mac.”
He nodded. “Is she going to be all right?”
“The doctor seems to think so. They pumped her stomach.” Angrily, she swiped again at her eyes. “She took a bunch of pills with booze.”
“On purpose?”
Her defeated shrug tore at his heart. “I don’t know.”
“Has she ever done this before?”
“No. But she’s been drinking more and more.” She took a deep breath. “This might be all my fault. I confronted her about the money Rod Bowers has been giving her.”
“This is not your fault.” He kept his voice firm. “None of this is. You are the only thing holding your family together. Stop blaming yourself and start pointing your finger right where it belongs.” He jerked his chin toward the unconscious woman in the bed. “Her.”
“She’s sick, Mac,” Hailey protested. “I’m hoping when she regains consciousness, she’ll agree to go to some sort of treatment. The only problem is I don’t know how we’ll pay for it.”
“What about your stepfather?” he asked. “Is there any way he’d be willing to help?”
Slowly she shook her head. “We haven’t heard from him in years. Not since he took off shortly after Brenda was murdered.”
This surprised him. He’d guessed June and Aaron had divorced. But the three youngest children were his. “He never tries to see the kids?”
Her mouth tightened. “No. I guess since he doesn’t pay child support, he’s too scared to put in an appearance.”
Mac thought of the money he’d put aside. There was more than enough to get him through this rough patch with his dad, even if it lasted for a couple of months. Though Gus’s doctors hadn’t been that optimistic, he knew his father was a fighter. If anyone could prolong his life, Gus could.
Objectively, he knew he had enough funds to take care of things with his dad. And, with Hailey helping look after his father, he would be able to take on the occasional job if he wanted to, making more money.
Just like that, he reached a decision.
“Let me help,” he said. “I have some money set aside.”
Before he’d even finished speaking, she shook her head. “I can’t take charity. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“You can pay me back. A little at a time, if you need to.” Though he had no intention of ever asking her for a dime. He considered this a gift—to Hailey, to her family. To himself.
The faint spark of hope in her beautiful blue eyes broke his heart. “She has Medicaid. Maybe they’ll help pay for treatment.”
“You check into that. While you’re doing that, I’ll find a facility with openings.”
“It has to be close by,” she said.
“I understand.” He took a deep breath, hating to be the one to tell her, but knowing he had to. “There’s one more thing, Hailey. Your mother has to agree to treatment. No place will admit her without her consent since it’s not court-ordered.”
Hailey frowned. “Are you sure?”
When he nodded, she sighed. “Okay. I’ll talk to her when she wakes up.”
He checked his watch. “Do you need anything before I go? I’ve got to get back to my dad.”
“I don’t think so.” Her tremulous smile stopped him in his tracks. “But thank you for coming up here. You’ll never know how much I appreciate it.”
He let himself out, aware how difficult—and expensive—it could be to get into an inpatient alcohol treatment facility. He might have to pull a few strings to make it happen, but it would happen.
* * *
After Mac left, Hailey sat with her mother, not sure what to do now. When the nurse came in, she gave Hailey a sympathetic look. “Why don’t you go home, hon? Now that her stomach has been pumped, she’ll be out for a while.”
“What will happen next?”
The woman eyed her. “Once she’s healthy enough to leave, she can go home.”
Stomach clenching, Hailey nodded. “I’m hoping to convince her to check into rehab. My friend is working on finding a place where she can go.”
“Good.” Coming closer, the nurse squeezed Hailey’s shoulder. “For both your sakes, I hope she agrees.”
Exhausted, Hailey nodded. “I’ll be back in the morning. Do you think she’ll be awake by then?”
“Hopefully.”
Once Hailey got home, all the kids met her at the door. Wide-eyed, Tara asked how June was doing. Hailey noticed she called their mother by her first name rather than Mom.
“She’s asleep, right now.” Hailey led them all into the kitchen and asked them to take a seat. Once they had, she had a frank discussion with them about alcoholism, one she probably should have had long before.
Except she’d totally underestimated her siblings. “We already know about all that,” Tom said, his arms crossed. “What we really need to know is if she’s going to get help.”
He sounded so much older than fourteen it made Hailey’s throat ache. “I hope so,” she answered quietly. “Mac is going to see if he can locate a nearby facility that has a vacancy. I’m going to talk to her in the morning.”
“I wouldn’t,” little Eli put in, his expression solemn. “Just take her there and let them fix her. I wouldn’t give her a choice.”
Now all three of them nodded. “We agree.” Tara’s fierce voice matched her frown.
“Unfortunately, it’s not that ea
sy.” Hailey hated to break the news to them, but she had to. “Mom’s got to agree she needs help. Otherwise, they won’t admit her without a court order. We don’t have one of those.”
“Then get one,” Tara began. The other two had similar sentiments, and they all began speaking at once. Hailey let them, eyeing them one at a time, her heart both heavy and full.
“I love you guys,” she finally said, once a pause crept into the conversation. Her eyes filled. “I hope you all understand how much.”
Eli squinted up at her. “You’re crying?” Expression anguished, he jumped up and threw himself at her. “Oh, please, don’t cry.”
Of course this only made the waterworks start in earnest. The heck with blinking back the tears. Hailey let them fall, holding out her other arm to invite Tom and Tara to join in.
Only once all four of them stood united, arms around each other, was Hailey able to smile. “We’re in this together. As long as we have each other, everything will turn out fine.” Even if their mother refused to get help.
“We know,” Tom and Tara said in unison.
“I know,” Eli got in. “We did the dishes and cleaned up while you were gone. We even made you a plate.”
Which reminded her that she hadn’t eaten.
Suddenly starving, she thanked them. Tom made her take a seat while Tara nuked the hamburger meat. Tara actually assembled three tacos on a plate, with lettuce and tomato and cheese, before carrying the meal over to Hailey.
Eli brought her a glass of ice water. All three took seats at the table and watched while Hailey ate. When she’d finished, the twins cleaned up, insisting she go sit on the couch and relax.
Her cell phone rang while they were watching some silly talent show. Mac. Hailey jumped up and went into the kitchen to answer.
“I think I’ve found a place,” Mac told her, his voice low and exhausted.
She glanced at the clock. Seven thirty. “How?” she asked. “It was after hours when we found my mother. I’m surprised you could even get someone to answer the phone.”
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