“Br… Br… Brahms? You knew Brahms?” Gareth gasped. This time he was genuinely incredulous. “Now you are having me on! He’s one of my heroes!”
“No, no, I can assure you, I knew him quite well.” Theeth sounded rather peeved that doubt should be cast on the veracity of his story. “A great man, cantankerous but with a quirky sense of humour.”
“I’ll say! Anybody else?”
“Not as friends, but I met Bruckner—now he really was a strange fellow—Johann Strauss, Gustav Mahler. I saw Grieg play and Tchaikovsky conduct. When I first came to England I met Arthur Conan Doyle, debated science fiction with HG Wells, went to Thomas Hardy’s funeral. Conan Doyle’s obsession with fairies started after he met me.”
“Ah, Thomas Hardy. Now there’s a great man for you!” Beth sighed in admiration. “So many wonderful novels.”
“I would be interested to know what your favourite one is,” said Theeth.
“Probably Tess of the Durbevilles, although it is very sad. But they’re all good. What about you, Gareth?”
“I’m more of a thriller man myself, Alistair McLean, Daniel Easterman, that sort of thing, not quite Hardy, but great in their own line, I suppose. I do prefer English writers as opposed to American, I have to say.”
What is greatness? The Chambers Compact Dictionary describes the adjective “great” thus: outstandingly talented and much admired and respected. Does that cover it? Outstanding from what? Respected by whom? Much of Schubert’s music wasn’t known in his own lifetime outside his circle of friends, and he died of syphilis—does that mean he wasn’t great? Bizet died a pauper, Van Gogh died in a lunatic asylum, as did John Clare, Schumann threw himself into the Rhine. Genius, or just completely loopy? Can greatness override other defects or do we expect our great men to be perfect as well? They weren’t, and that’s a fact! Churchill, for example, was a drunken racist, Gandhi was very nasty to his own family, Thomas More persecuted and executed Protestants with great enthusiasm. Even good ole Abe Lincoln, the great American hero, was racist. Although he fought for the right of slaves to be freed, he had no intention of giving them the vote! It was only when a division of black soldiers performed with great distinction in the Civil War that he began thinking that there were maybe some blacks who were worthy of being enfranchised.
Can unpleasant characteristics override greatness? Wagner was a thoroughly disagreeable man and virulently anti-Semitic. Stephen Fry, himself of Jewish descent, thinks Wagner’s operas are of such beauty that they are able to transcend baser feelings. I’m not so sure on that one. Eric Gill, whose wonderful Stations of the Cross adorn Westminster Cathedral, included incest and bestiality in his recreational pastimes. Saint or sinner?—you decide.
And of course, the bad guys are not totally bad, in spite of what we might like to think. Some people prefer to imagine Hitler as a monster, which he undoubtedly was, because it makes it easier to comprehend the enormity of his evil but he had his human points too. He loved his dogs—can a dog-lover be all bad?—and eventually married his long-term mistress Eva Braun. Stalin liked to put himself across as the avuncular Uncle Joe, who loved kids. Make of that what you will.
“And I was at one of Hitler’s Nuremberg rallies, a few years after my father died. Nothing we could do about that. Total evil, too strong for us. I hope we are never that weak again.”
“You’ll be telling me you actually met Hitler next!” Gareth was really interested now, although was there still a hint of mockery underneath?
“I did shake hands with him, but no more, I am thankful to say.”
Gareth sat lost in thought for a short while. The being, person, creature, or what you will with whom he was having this surreal conversation had known Brahms, met Hitler, conversed with the creator of Sherlock Holmes. Eventually he decided to play along and said:
“So explain to us, Theeth. What is the situation exactly? I was told that the top people never meet because they are frightened of confrontation. Presumably it must be potentially bad for both sides.” Gareth was showing concern now. “Why is it different this time?”
“You remember I said to you that the last few years had been good? They—the other side—are trying to change that. By precipitating the deaths of two of our older friends, or so it seems, they think they have us at a weak point, so they presume that they will have an advantage if they provoke conflict. Strike while the iron is hot, as your proverb says.
“However, they have under-estimated the power of our latest recruits.” Theeth nodded wisely at his two listeners. “We shall defeat them!”
“Presumably overt struggle is avoided because the consequences could be dire for either side,” said Gareth. “If we were to triumph, it would set their cause back a number of years. What actually needs to happen?”
“One of Pierre Poivre or myself needs to die, or at least be so badly damaged that our powers would be greatly diminished.”
“Theeth, no!” said Beth. “You’re an old man. You can’t put yourself in physical danger like that!”
“I can and I must, my dear. You can take it from me that Pierre Poivre is at least as old as I am. And anyway, that is our destiny. That is what we do in life.”
Gareth joined in. “I presume it’s not just a question of obtaining weapons and pumping lead into each other.”
“You can be killed in the normal way. I can’t. I can die of illness or old age, obviously. I am not immortal. But I can only be disposed of by a Goblin of equal rank. I have an Achilles’ heel but I will not tell you what it is. Not yet, anyway. The fewer people who know, the less danger there is of the opposition finding out.”
“Do you think they know?”
“I am not sure, but I must presume that they do.”
“And what about Mr P? Does he have any weaknesses.”
“He cannot face up to any likeness of himself, be it mirror, photograph, portrait. Being faced by his own resemblance drains away his powers.”
“That’s easy, then. Get a photo of him and we’ll track him down!”
“If only. There are no known pictures of him in existence. He has made sure that all such likenesses that may have existed have been destroyed.”
“Oh come on, Theeth, there must be something”
“Do you think I have not tried during my many years’ existence to find such an object?” the old gnome replied in irritable exasperation. “I can assure you there is nothing.”
“What are we going to do, then?”
“We will have to try and think of something before we confront him. Perhaps a mirror catching him off guard or something of that nature. I am devoid of other ideas for the moment.”
“Wow! Medusa the Gorgon, eat your heart out. Bit tenuous, isn’t it?”
“Can you think of anything better?”
“No, not off-hand.” Gareth inwardly thought it a bit unfair that he should be given a mere ten seconds to solve a problem that Theeth had been unable to unravel in a hundred and forty years!
“Well then, we must proceed as best we can. We must make our way to London. That is where it will happen.”
“Why London?”
“That is where such previous encounters have always taken place in this country. It is always a capital city, or close to one, in whatever country the meeting happens to take place. Both sides feel strong in the capital. We have a strong presence in Lambeth.”
“Hmmm. Home of the Archbishop of Canterbury. Coincidence, I imagine”, Gareth mused.
“Is it? That is for you to decide.”
“And what happens then? Old-fashioned shoot-out? All guns blazing? You’re not actually suggesting that we should kill people, are you? That would not sit easily with me, I have to say, even if I felt capable of actually doing so. And Beth’s a vegetarian, so she’s not going to want to do any killing.” Beth nodded ve
hement agreement.
“No, that is not our way. And anyway, it would put us in an awkward situation with the authorities, if we were not prepared. They would start asking questions we would prefer not to answer. We have to face each other down and see who is the stronger.”
“Who will he have with him?”
“To the best of our knowledge, your two school friends are the only two Custodians he has available who are strong enough to take part in such a conflict. I, of course, will have you two with me. I am confident we will succeed.”
“I wish I shared you confidence. I still can’t grasp this idea with any firmness. Are you sure you’re not making all this up?” Gareth raised a sardonic eyebrow at the aged gnome.
Theeth looked very pained. “Gareth… my dear boy… . what can I do? I must be sure of your 100% backing!”
“Do you believe, Beth?”
“Yes, Gareth, I do. I trust Theeth. I know he is genuine and decent. I will go with him, even if you don’t.”
“Oh, come on, Beth, there’s no question… . You don’t think I would let you go on your own, do you? Of course I’ll come.”
Theeth looked relieved, if not totally convinced. “Good. Let us talk about how we are going to proceed. We cannot all travel together, that will draw too much attention and give the other side a chance to make mischief.”
Beth was surprised. “You think they might try to harm us before we get there?”
“That is indeed a possibility, I’m afraid. I propose to make my own way to London, in the hope that my aura will draw attention away from you. Because you will be travelling together—I daren’t let Beth go on her own after the bicycle incident—you must try to keep as low a profile as possible. To this end, I must ask you to walk down to Aberystwyth and then take a local train to Shrewsbury. After that, it should be safe for you to catch a fast train to London, where we will arrange to meet. However, you cannot travel on the main road—they will be expecting you. You must venture along the side roads, past Eglyws Fach and through Tal-y-Bont and Dol-y-Bont. We have friends in these places who can help you.”
“Walk? At this time of year? You must be joking!” Again, Gareth could not keep the scepticism out of his voice.
“I do not joke about such matters!” Theeth rebuked him coldly. “It is precisely because of the time of year that I am requiring you to undertake this mission in this way. You will have a far better chance of progressing safely. It is not a course of action they will have anticipated and there is an excellent chance your auras will not be picked up, even though you are travelling together.
“We’ll be ok, Gareth. It’s not a problem.”
Gareth smiled at his potential travelling companion. “I’m sure you’re right”, he said, and squeezed her hand. “But what happens if we are rumbled?” He looked at Theeth enquiringly.
“Let us hope that does not happen. But if it does, we will deal with it at the time. As I say, there are people around to assist you.” Theeth plunged his hand into his pocket and produced what turned out to be a carved wooden object. He handed it to Gareth. “Take this with you,” he said. “He will help you.”
The young couple scrutinised the article closely. “What is it? It’s an owl,” said Beth. “It’s beautiful. Such exquisite carving. How will he be able to help us?”
“You see he is glowing green. That is because he is picking up our aura. He will stay green as long as he is with you and you are not threatened. However, if you are in danger from goblins, he will turn to red to warn you.”
“That could be useful,” Gareth admitted. “Does he have a name?”
“His name is Wolenger,” said Theeth. “Keep him near you at all times. He could be of great use to you.”
“Here, Beth, you’d better look after him. I’ll only lose him. Are there any more like him around?”
“There are only two in existence. He has a twin called Houbivert. I keep him for my own personal use. Even a gnome can be caught off guard sometimes. Because of the circuitous route you will be following, I expect you to be travelling for three days. There are places you may safely stay en route, which I will inform you of. You will be provided with sturdy backpacks and enough clothes and other necessities for your journey.”
“When do you want us to start?”
“I think tomorrow morning would be an appropriate moment. That will give you ample time to prepare. I shall leave much later on in the day. I shall be taking a round-about route to the capital, travelling overnight in an endeavour to avoid detection.”
“How will you contact us, if you need to?” asked Gareth.
“As I said, we have people round and about who will make themselves known to you. Wolenger will be able to advise you. You may trust them as you would trust me.”
“And when we get to Aberystwyth?”
“Go straight to the railway station and travel on to Shrewsbury, then on to London. A sudden change of transport will help to keep them off their guard. I cannot overstress to you the importance of this mission. We must face them down or there could be bad times ahead.”
“What sort of bad times? What could actually happen?” Gareth was still not totally convinced.
“Bad things could occur politically, financially, socially,” Theeth refused to be more specific.
“And you really think what actions we do or do not take could actually make that much of a difference?”
“Yes, a climate is created which allows good or bad events to take place. The very least we must hope for is a maintenance of the status quo. We must do our best to hold them in check.” Theeth seemed positively agitated. He half-rose from his chair and then sat down again.
Beth smiled at him. “Try not to worry, Theeth,” she said gently. We will do everything we can to help you. Won’t we, Gareth?”
“Yes, yes, of course.” Gareth tried to sound as convincing as possible. “Let’s get ready for our adventure and see what the future holds.”
Theeth and Beth exchanged anxious glances. Without Gareth’s total support, they stood little chance of success. Maybe once he got out on the road, and things started happening, he would come to appreciate the gravity of the situation, although Theeth privately hoped that their journey would be totally uneventful. Deep down, though, he knew that that was unlikely to be the case.
13
They set out eventually on the Friday, December 7th. Theeth had provided them with rucksacks and everything necessary for the journey, as promised. He had also given them two walking-sticks, with screw-on tops, which, when removed, revealed that the canes were hollow inside.
“You never know,” Theeth had said. “You might have something to conceal.”
“I think he suspects we’re going to have phials of brandy hidden away, just in case,” Gareth whispered to Beth. They set off down the A road, back in the direction of Aberystwyth, but soon turned off towards Eglyws Fach. There was virtually no traffic and it was quite safe for them to walk in the middle of the road. The cold air was actually quite invigorating and provided ideal walking conditions for the well-prepared, although the ever-looming presence of the mountains still provided an intimidating background.
They made good progress and talked non-stop, eager to find out as much as they could about each other’s lives. Gareth told Beth about Brian and Betty, playing cricket and going up to Cambridge. Beth responded with tales of her unruly siblings, her own talent in music and writing, and how she had always wanted to be a journalist.
“Just think!” she said enthusiastically. “This could be the scoop of the century!”
“You don’t think Theeth would let you publish it, do you, even if anything does happen.”
“You’re not still sceptical, are you, Gareth? Theeth has to be for real. Nobody could make him up!”
“That’s true. I want to believe, it’s
just… well, we’re in the 21st century. How can we be talking about goblins, for Heaven’s sake! Or you and me saving the world from imminent disaster, for that matter!”
“Let’s see what happens” said Beth and they lapsed into a brief silence.
Gareth was anxious to dispel the mood. “That nice new Mini at Theeth’s house is yours, so how come you were out on that old bike when I bumped into you?”
“Ha, ha, very funny, Mr. Pun Man. Actually, I was bored. I’d been there a couple of days before you arrived and I needed to get out and about, get some fresh air. I found this elderly bicycle lying there and decided to go out for a ride. Theeth wasn’t too happy but I brushed off his fears with the brashness of youth and off I went. Turns out he was right and I was wrong. It seems that the presence of both of us travelling on the same road at the same time alerted the other side to our being there.”
“Do you think we’re in danger now, then?” Gareth raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Maybe we had better hew stout staves from the roadside to defend ourselves.”
“You’re mocking again, Gareth. Theeth thinks that because we are walking we will be much more difficult to spot.”
“I hope he’s right. I’d hate to think we were traipsing through this freezing cold for nothing.” Gareth pulled his woolly hat further down over his eyes. “Anyway, tell me more about your music. How far did you get?”
“Well. I did actually get distinction in my Grade 8 piano. It was a toss-up between Music and English at University. But like I said, I’ve always wanted to write, so English won the day.”
“I’d love to hear you play. As long as you don’t expect me to sing. I can’t sing in tune to save my life. I couldn’t even join in the football chants at the Arsenal—not that there were many, mind. They didn’t call us the Highbury Library for nothing. Still, at least it got me out of having to join the Church choir. Dear old Brian was quite a decent baritone, so I think he was rather disappointed.”
“And I’d love to play for you. I do quite a good line in Schubert impromptus, although I’m a bit rusty at the moment.”
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