“Talking to my grandmother is impossible.”
“When will she return?”
“Um … I don’t really know.” I looked down at my temporary body and shook my head. “But when I hear from her, I’ll tell her you’re sorry and ask her to go easy on you. I’m sure that when I explain everything, she’ll help you. Being banished to a hell pit isn’t fair. I’ll tell Grammy that I think you should have a chance to make up for your crimes.”
He bent close to my face, not touching me but so near that warm tingles sizzled through me. “There’s a light in you that makes me want to be better, to do good things.”
“I hope you get the chance.”
“A chance is all I ask for.” He closed his eyes, grimacing as if haunted with dark thoughts. “It’s like I’ve been lost forever and suddenly I can see the right doorway ahead, but it’s blocked and there’s no time to find my way.”
“Grammy says time doesn’t run the same on the other side.”
“But it’s running out for me here. I’m weary of going from body to body and all the pretense. It’s time to stop. When my time in this body expires, I won’t find a new one.”
“What if I can’t talk to my grandmother before then?”
“My soul is already heavy with my crimes. I won’t add any more.”
“But if you don’t switch, the DD Team will find you.”
He sighed. “Yes, the worst may happen.”
“So you should escape now, while you have the chance.”
“I should, but my soul is so weary of hiding.”
“I really will talk to my grandmother for you.”
“While I appreciate the offer, I need to talk to her personally.”
“You can’t — not now, anyway. But maybe there’s someone else you can talk to.”
“There’s no one else. If I can’t talk with your grandmother, I might as well give up now and turn myself in.”
“You don’t mean that! Fight for your life … or lives … or death.” I wasn’t really sure how all the worked, but I hated to see anyone give up.
“I didn’t beg for mercy when I was walking those final steps to the gallows, and I won’t beg now. All I can hope for is your grandmother’s sense of fairness and mercy. I’m not asking you to defend me to her, just to set up a meeting so I can plead my own case.”
“I would if I could … ” I glanced down at the damp ground and a smudge of dirt on my sneakers. With a shake of my head, I lifted my gaze back to his. “Like I said, it just isn’t possible. She can’t meet with anyone now.”
“So be it,” he said, with such agonized resignation that my heart crumbled. “I’ll leave now, so you’ll never be burdened by my problems again.”
A half hour ago I would have jumped for joy if he’d offered to leave, but now it felt all wrong. By refusing to help, I’d signed his death sentence. “Don’t go, Gabe. Let me help—”
I thought about his story of the betrayal that ended his life. He hadn’t been much older than me, yet his life was over. Stealing bodies and breaking hearts was wrong and I couldn’t forgive him that easily. But I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t at least try to help.
So I agreed to set up a meeting with my grandmother.
Heaven help me.
* * *
The drive back to the cemetery was surreal.
Along the way, though, the fear I felt toward Gabe started shifting into something I couldn’t define. Although he made no move to touch me, I was very aware of his arm casually resting on the compartment separating our bucket seats. Not his arm, I reminded myself, but a borrowed arm from a stolen body. I may feel sorry for him, but that didn’t suddenly make him a paragon of virtue. His personality was closer to a devil than an angel, and I had no business sneaking glances at him and inhaling his salty sea scent. If the light touch of his hands electrified me, how would it feel to be in his arms …
Down, evil thoughts! What was wrong with me? It was wrong to think these kind of thoughts about anyone except Eli. He was the only guy I cared about — not someone who’d died over a century ago.
What I should be thinking about was how to set up a meeting with my grandmother. If I explained everything to her, would she understand? Would she agree to talk to him? I’d like to think so … but I doubted it. More likely she’d be furious I’d broken rules in such a big way and kick me right out of my temporary body.
As we parted and Gabe slid into his own car, I kept my expression calm but inside I was quaking. Damn. Why had I promised to help him? It was almost like I’d been under a spell.
Resisting the urge for one last look at him, I shifted into reverse and got the hell out of there. I should have driven straight to my real home and talked to Grammy. Except if I saw her and explained about Gabe, she might get angry that I didn’t report him. Even worse — I might start blushing, which would lead to lots of awkward questions. It was confusing how Gabe made me feel, and I didn’t want Grammy to get the wrong idea. Eli was the guy I cared about; Gabe was just someone who needed help. I needed to make careful plans for how to approach Grammy about Gabe.
So I headed back to Alyce’s. Her mother would be at work and I’d have the house to myself. I’d make some lunch, maybe watch some TV, then get on with my plan to save Gabe’s soul.
When I reached Alyce’s, the door was locked and I had to dig down to the bottom of Monkey Bag to find a key.
That’s when I heard Alyce’s cell phone beeping.
Picking it up, I saw a text from Dustin.
Hoping he hadn’t been arrested at the protest and needing a lawyer, I tapped a button and read the short message.
Good news!
Z will meet 2nite.
You’ve got a date!
9
Convincing Grammy to meet with a Dark Lifer would be hard, but going out on a date in the wrong body with someone I was sure was the wrong guy was seriously scary. How had Dustin arranged this so quickly? He was too damned efficient for my own good. I really, really did not want to do this …
At least Zachary was an okay guy — his rep was for being boring, not for beating up his girlfriend like Kyle. Still, I couldn’t imagine him and Alyce as a couple. Popularity-wannabe Zachary matched with anti-everything Alyce? Ridiculous! What could they possibly have in common?
But the more urgent question was — what was I going to wear?
Even though I had a key and the legal right to enter Alyce’s house, I still felt like a trespasser. There were no sounds of life, only echoes of emptiness that shivered up my skin. Smoke and a scent of candle wax lingered in the air, and the only sound came from my footsteps and a steady ticking, like a heartbeat, from the wall clock over the TV. Peering around nervously, I half-expected Mrs. Perfetti to suddenly jump out and demand to know what I was doing here.
I bypassed the kitchen (despite growls of protest from my tummy) and headed straight to Alyce’s closet. I’d already seen most of her clothes, but it still felt strange to view them through her eyes. She rebelled against popular brands and trends by wearing only natural fabrics in bruised shades of blacks, blues, and browns — except when it came to shoes. Blessed with model-perfect feet, Alyce sought out stylish vintage shoes at antique shops: gold sandals, knee-high patent-leather boots, 70s platforms, etc. At school, kids would walk by with snooty expressions denouncing her as a “Goth Loser”—until they noticed her shoes. Then they’d slow down to stare, maybe even drool a little; scorn was replaced with envy. Once even Miss Popularity-Plus, Jessica Bradley, stopped to ask where Alyce had brought her 80s leather-slouch pirate boots. But Alyce ignored the question and strode past Jessica, her own scorn intact.
I had to embrace my inner scorn to think like Alyce, I told myself. But I also needed to open up to the possibility that Zachary could be her Mr. Right. If so, I had to show him the authentic Alyce; the quirky, caring, thoughtful side of Alyce that only a trusted few ever saw. This meant putting my personal opinions about Zachary aside.
&nb
sp; If only I was more experienced with dating! Then I could just relax and go out without getting all nervous and overthinking everything. I hadn’t officially gone out on a date since … well, ever. Not even with Eli due to the whole body-switch thing.
Staring hopelessly into Alyce’s closet, I knew I was in over my head. How could I get through a date when I couldn’t even decide what to wear? It would help to know where Zachary was taking me. Should I dress for dinner, an outdoor concert, or disco bowling? Why hadn’t Dustin included that in his message? When I tried calling him back, he didn’t pick up — not a good sign, considering his radical behavior at protests. If he’d been arrested and his phone confiscated, I might not hear back for hours.
I chose two potential outfits: casual chic with bleached jeans, or a pleated, gypsy-styled shirt under a velvet jacket. Both were on the tame side of Alyce’s personality, but it was the best I could do without actually asking her.
Unless I could ask her …
This traitorous thought snaked through my mind as I remembered my conversation with Gabe. Before he’d left, he’d given me his cell number. If I told him I’d changed my mind about wanting to learn his secrets, I could mind-connect with my Host Soul and have a real conversation with Alyce.
That would be sooo great.
But wrong.
Only how wrong could it be to want to help my best friend? If I talked to Alyce, she could tell me which guy she preferred. This was her love life, after all, so it was only fair she had a say in what happened. Then I’d solve her crisis and become the best Temp Lifer ever … or get kicked out of the program for breaking the rules.
What I couldn’t figure out was why, if contacting Alyce was so easy, Grammy hadn’t told me how to do it. She must have a good reason — although I couldn’t think of one. What it came down to was the question of who I trusted more. A fugitive Dark Lifer I’d just met or the grandmother who’d loved and supported me my whole life.
A no-brainer.
With this decision made, I left Alyce’s room and finally headed for the kitchen to get some lunch. (I’ll admit it — I’m a foodie, no matter whose body I inhabit.) And a short while later, I carried out a steaming soup dish, a grilled cheese sandwich, and a glass of milk, arranging everything on the coffee table that often doubled as a dining table.
Glancing at the clock, I calculated that I had at least three hours before Mrs. Perfetti returned from work. I knew she wouldn’t like the idea of Alyce going out on a date, so I wouldn’t tell her. I’d leave a note saying I was helping Dustin with a project. Mrs. Perfetti actually approved of Dustin while she only tolerated me (Amber). Go figure.
Before things got crazy (which I was sure they would), I figured I might as well relax. Turning on the TV, I surfed channels, eager to catch up on the latest Hollywood buzz.
I listened to the latest on Angelina, Brad, and Britney, always impressed at the job their “people” were doing to make them newsworthy. Bad behavior scored way higher in the ratings than sainthood. I could learn so much from those master agents, wishing for the umpteenth time they taught Hollywood 101 subjects in high school. Instead, the best I could hope for was an internship while I went to college. I’d already been accepted, with scholarship, to a California State University of my choice, and Alyce and I were planning to share a dorm room if we got into the same schools. Alyce’s grades weren’t always the best, since she only bothered with assignments from classes she liked, but she had a lot going for her. I was confident she’d receive acceptance letters soon.
Abruptly, my daydreams were jerked back to reality — reality TV, to be exact.
Ryan Seacrest was making a lame joke about American Idol copycats. The scene cut to a stage, and there on the TV screen was Eli. He looked so wonderfully the same, yet different, too. His hair, which was usually unruly with a strand falling across his eyes, was jelled and spiked like a hardcore rocker. He wore a black leather jacket over a ripped white shirt, along with a heavy belt of chains, gold studs in his ears, and glitter eye shadow. My boyfriend was wearing makeup! OMG!
A twenty-something reporter wearing a formal blazer over western jeans shoved a microphone in Eli’s face. “The Voice Choice competition is heating up and only the final three will be left after tonight!” the reporter exclaimed, with a huge smile for the camera. “Anything you care to say to your fans?”
“Not really … just thanks … I guess.” His shy smile broadcasted straight to my heart.
“So Rocky,” the reporter asked. “Who do you think is going home?”
It was weird hearing him called “Rocky” but kind of funny, too, since he looked more like the boy next door than a rugged Rocky.
“Me, of course,” Eli answered. “My competitors are all so talented, I can’t imagine any of them being eliminated.”
“Humble is today’s cool! You’re one rockin’ dude.” The reporter flashed his pearly whites at the camera again, then returned to Eli. “You’re doing great and are developing quite a fan following. Let’s give a shout-out to your fan club — the Rocky-ettes!”
At this question, the camera panned to an audience of girls who jumped up waving signs. They read: ROCKY ROCKS! LOVE YOU ROCKY! and NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST! Then riotous shouting erupted — girls screaming and crying like they were in pain. I might have been jealous if Eli’s adoring fans looked old enough to be in high school, but since they weren’t, I thought it was sweet.
“Rocky, what song will you be singing tonight?” the reporter continued.
Eli shrugged. “We haven’t decided.”
“We?” I wondered at his use of plural — like he wasn’t thinking for himself anymore but had “people” who did it for him. But he couldn’t possibly have “people” yet — and when he did, I was the entertainment agent for him.
“So tell me honestly, Rocky, are the rumors about you and a certain young lady true?” The reporter’s black brows arched up into sharp points like little temples of curiosity.
“Don’t answer!” Jumping off the couch, I shouted at the TV screen. “Don’t say anything about us!”
Eli shook his head. “There’s nothing to tell.”
I blew out a huge sigh of relief. My life — or Grammy’s, depending on the body situation on Monday — was complicated enough without being the buzz topic when I returned to school. While I wanted to have a famous reputation as a top agent someday, I did not want my love life broadcast in public.
“That’s not what I hear,” the reporter wheedled. “Come on, Rocky, just between us”—and thousands of viewers, I thought—“tell me about her.”
Eli shook his head again, his blush so bright that his ears looked like they were on fire. “I really … um … can’t.”
“Don’t be modest — you can brag a little! From what your friends tell me, you have the real thing going on. It’s not often you meet a gorgeous girl with talent and brains.”
Now I was blushing. What had Eli told his new friends about me?
“I don’t really … ” Eli tried to back away but the predatory reporter aimed the microphone like a loaded weapon.
“Come on, I already know who she is and your fans suspect — it’s impossible to keep a showmance a secret for long.” The reporter turned as if he’d heard someone call his name. When he swiveled back toward Eli, there was a triumphant grin on his face. “And here she is now! The beautiful and talented Miss Mila Monroe!”
The camera spun, then focused on a petite girl with an unnaturally mega-white smile and thick, honey-blond hair that tumbled around her shoulders, waving down to her very ample cleavage. She flew toward Eli like a female cyclone, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and placing an enthusiastic kiss on his cheek.
“Oh Rocky, you are just so adorable and honorable, protecting me when there’s just no reason at all to keep our feelings a secret,” she said, in a rush of sexy that reminded me of a Marilyn Monroe wannabe. If her last name was truly Monroe, I’d eat a microphone.
I could only sta
re — at her arm around my boyfriend’s neck, the faint pink smear of lipstick on his cheek, and her way-too-low and way-too-tight dress. What the hell?
“The rumors are true,” she announced into the microphone. The reporter shifted eagerly to her side. “Rocky and I are going out — well, to be exact, we’re staying in a lot. We don’t get much free time with the crazy practice schedule.”
The reporter laughed. “But I’m sure you manage to sneak away … for some private time.”
“You are so bad! Rocky and I are just fine and that’s all I can say on national TV,” she said with a sly wink that clearly hinted he was right.
“What about you, Rocky?” The mic was shoved back in Eli’s face. “Care to add anything about your feelings for Miss Monroe?”
“NO!” he choked out, pushing away from Mila and looking sick enough to puke all over the reporter’s nice pressed suit and tie. “I got to go!”
Then the camera panned back to Mila, or as I shall refer to her always, The Slut Who Stole My Boyfriend. She had no shame, only smiles, for the reporter. “Don’t mind Rocky, he’s adorably shy. But I’m happy to answer any questions about the competition. I’m pretty sure who’ll be eliminated tonight … ”
I wanted to smash the TV, grab her throat, and personally eliminate her.
But I heard the musical ring and answered my cell phone.
When I read the caller ID, I felt hot, cold, and angry all at once.
“Amber, listen to me!” Eli said in a rushed whisper. “I don’t have much time but I have to tell you something important before you see it on TV.”
“What?” I glanced at the TV, where Mila was smiling like she owned the world. Grabbing the remote, I shut the TV off. I pressed my lips tightly together as I waited for Eli’s news, bracing myself for the breakup words. I couldn’t blame him, really, not after the weirdness I’d put him through. And now that he had a big chance for stardom, he could have any girl he wanted, so why put up with one who couldn’t stay in her own body?
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