“What movie was it?” She asked, surprised at the steadiness of her voice despite the pounding of her pulse. The intensity with which her body consistently responded to Luke's presence was alarming, to say the least.
“Rear Window with Jimmy Stewart.” His voice was close again, just over her shoulder and she swallowed hard before turning around.
His crystal blue eyes scanned her face slowly. He had successfully backed her into the corner of the kitchenette. She licked her bottom lip nervously and saw his gaze drop to her mouth and stay there.
“I love that movie, too.” Lenny reached for the trash bag, grazing his hand with her own as she slipped it from Luke’s grasp. He inhaled sharply and she stepped around him quickly, backing towards the door.
“I’ll make sure you guys get a refill of water before we take off.” She paused, trying to get her heart rate under control, “I'm riding on this bus today so...I'll be right back.”
Luke took a step toward her, “What are you going to do tomorrow?”
“Maybe go to the beach with Tanya and the other merch girls,” she lied, looking away from his penetrating gaze.
“That sounds like fun…” Luke acted like there was more he wanted to say but couldn't think of it.
“Yeah…so I’ll be right back.” She repeated, but this time she turned around, finally breaking the tension between them and walked down the steps.
***
Mike watched their interaction through slits in his eyes and held back the deep chuckle that wanted to escape.
“That sounds like fun,” Mike mocked softly from the couch.
Luke turned to him, clearly surprised that he was awake. “You’re an ass,” he muttered to his friend on his way to the back of the bus.
Mike let the chuckle out now; he enjoyed giving his best friend a hard time. Luke didn't really have crushes, so there was so much more material to be worked. Luke had never had a hard time getting women. He'd usually just give them a lip curl and a wink and they were suddenly topless. To Mike, it was very interesting to see Luke struggle so much with basic conversation around a girl.
“Maybe you can help put lotion on her back,” he continued to tease.
Luke huffed and closed the door to the back lounge, leaving Mike on the couch laughing.
***
“What's in the notebook?” Mike asked with curiosity, nodding towards Lenny. She looked up and Mike thought he detected a bit of panic on her face, but she quickly smoothed it out.
“Just my journal, sort of,” she muttered, closing it and tucking it back into her bag.
“You don't have to put it away, I was just wondering,” Mike reassured.
“I was finished anyway,” Lenny's dark blue eyes connected briefly with his and he gave her a small smile.
“You writing the next Great American Novel?” He kept it light, still trying to get a good bead on her.
“Hardly.” She tucked a stay hair that had come out of her braid behind her ear.
She stood up and stretched her arms over her head. “These long hours on the bus sure do get my muscles all bunched up.”
“Yeah, you seem like you're pretty active. The drive must about make you crazy.” Mike gauged her reaction to a personal assumption about herself. If it bothered her she didn't show it.
Getting to know the 'real' Lenny was Mike's new hobby. She was an expert at deflection and ambiguity. It didn't upset Mike or bring him any cause for worry. To him, it was a new way to pass the time on the long drives.
“It's not so bad.” Lenny answered with a sigh. “Besides, it's not every day I get the opportunity to travel with one of the world's greatest bands.”
And there it was, deflecting his personal inquiry into a compliment about the band. It was her MO. If a question required a personal answer, she would stroke the ego of the inquisitor. It was like a weird game of chess, with words and presumptions being the moving pieces. Mike loved it.
“Carl said you go running during sound check everyday,” Luke joined them from the back lounge. He'd been noticeably absent, Mike thought. Usually wherever Lenny was, Luke was hanging around nearby. But he'd kept his distance most of the day, which Mike didn't understand. He clearly liked the girl.
“Yeah, it's a habit I picked up a few years ago.” Lenny averted her eyes and sat back down.
“I usually run in the mornings when we park. You should join me sometime.” Luke's lead singer confidence was back to oozy goodness.
Lenny's eyes flashed to Luke's for a second and Mike was certain she almost blushed. These two were so attracted to one another, and continued to fail at pretending as if they weren't, that it was almost comical to witness.
“Unless you think you wouldn't be able to keep up.” Luke playfully provoked when Lenny didn't answer right away.
“That's the least of my worries.” Lenny gave him a sideways smile. “I like to run alone, helps me think.”
“I promise not to talk,” Luke pressed, “You won't even notice I'm there.” Mike was beginning to wonder if they noticed he was even there.
If Mike's attempts at divulging Lenny's carefully concealed inner-self was like chess, then whatever it was that Lenny and Luke did was like fencing. Fluid. Graceful. Advance. Passata-soto.
“Then why do you want me there? Do you need a bodyguard?” Lenny's tone turned playful. Opposition Parry.
Luke guffawed, “Maybe. Sometimes I get scared.” He winked at Mike. “There could be bears out there.” Forward Recovery.
“Oh yeah,” Mike verified, “Luke picks up wild animals like nobody's business.” He wasn't sure if he was helping or even what he was helping with; Luke still hadn't made any declarations to him about his intentions with Lenny.
Lenny let out a small laugh and she pulled her legs up under herself in the chair, slipping off her shoes.
“I guess it wouldn't hurt.” She gave Luke a serious scowl. “But I run with a purpose, it's not a fashion show for me. I plan on looking ugly and unkempt.”
“Good, better to scare away the bears.” Flick.
***
Lenny wasn't sure when she had drifted off. She remembered talking with Mike and Luke about the new song they had been trying out the past couple of shows. Then they had lunch. Sandwiches.
Mike decided to get Lenny involved in his favorite soap opera. He had waved her over to the couch so she could have a better view of the show and she settled in between the two men.
The next thing she knew, she was laying in the middle of a field under a perfect bluebird sky. She hadn't seen a sky this crystal clear in so long. The wildflowers surrounding her smelled clean and masculine. Masculine? Wait a minute, that's not right. But it felt sooo right. Lenny rolled onto her side and inhaled deeply. Mmmmm, you smell like snowflakes. She heard thunder in the distance, a storm must be coming. She felt the ground rumble beneath her and her eyes flew open when she realized it wasn't thunder but a very deep, hearty chuckle.
A man's chuckle.
Lenny sat up so quickly her vision darkened. She tried to focus on something, anything. Mike was gone. The TV was playing but on mute and the cabin was the golden colors of early evening.
“Whoa, calm down, Len.” Luke's voice was gentle as he placed his warm hand on the center of her back to steady her. His blonde, messy hair swung across his forehead, covering his eyes.
“I'm sorry, I didn't know I fell asleep.” Lenny's neck was heating up and she used one hand to wipe the side of her face. It was as bad as she feared. Drool.
“It's fine, you were obviously tired. You work your freaking ass off; I think you've earned yourself a nap.” Luke's fingers had started to make small circles on her back, soothing her. They worked their way up to her braid and tugged on the elastic, pulling it free.
“I didn't mean to...um...drool.” Lenny was humiliated. She moved to try to stand up but Luke put his other hand on her knee, stopping her. The warmth from his touch seemed to melt her to the seat.
“Really, Lenny,” he said sincerely, mak
ing sure to have eye contact, “You didn't do anything wrong. You need to learn to take a break sometime.” His fingers were still working into her hair and untangling the tight twists of her braid.
Lenny gave him a tight smile, wishing she could believe what he was saying. But what if Carl had walked in at that moment? How could she explain why her head had been in the lap of a rock star? She'd have been fired for sure. No, she would have to be more careful.
And she really needed to stop whatever black magic Luke was doing to her hair.
“Besides, who doesn't like being told they smell like snowflakes?” Luke was trying not to smile but he was failing.
Lenny's eyes widened as she realized she had said that out loud! How else could she embarrass herself today?
“I was dreaming,” Lenny muttered, coolly moving Luke's hand off her knee and tensing to stand up again. Luke's hand in her hair held her still.
“Give me minute,” his deep voice commanded. His fingers found the knot in her muscles at the back of her neck and started a gentle, but firm, massage. Lenny let out a small sigh as he worked the tension free.
“Dreaming about me or snowflakes?” Luke whispered low in her ear, causing goosebumps to raise on Lenny's arms.
“Neither,” Lenny muttered and she finally broke out of his spell and got up and crossed to the other side of the cabin, settling back in her chair.
“Can I have my hair tie back?” She asked, holding out her hand and disliking the breathless way her words had come out.
Luke's face was unreadable as he watched her. “No,” he finally said, “I've noticed you've been getting headaches and I'm worried that braid is adding undo pressure.”
Lenny sat back at his statement. It made sense. Her headaches usually blossomed right at the base of her skull where the top of her braid began. But she had no idea that he had been noticing those things about her. Her goal had been to be as invisible and as unassuming as possible. The last thing she wanted was attention.
“And since I can't get you to take any regular kind of break, the least I can do is require you to let your hair down,” he grinned at her, “so to speak.”
Luke's smile caused warmth to fill her appendages and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling back.
“Besides, you wear that damn thing every day; it's time for a change.” He wrapped the hair tie around his wrist and gave her a serious look. “And anytime you need me to work on the tension you have building in your neck, you let me know.” He arched an eyebrow flirtatiously.
“Sure thing, boss.” Lenny replied, seeing the slight tick in Luke's jaw when she said the word 'boss.' He didn't like being reminded that they had a working relationship but one of them had to right the rocking ship. He was getting too familiar and she had to keep him at a safer distance.
Lenny flipped her head over and shook out her hair, pulling the strands through her fingers and releasing any tangles. She couldn't deny that it felt good to have it free. Every follicle was rejoicing in triumph. Silly follicles.
When she righted herself she saw Luke staring at her with hazy eyes. She knew what that look meant, she'd seen it before, on other men looking at other women. She didn't understand why Luke was directing that kind of a look at her. She knew she wasn't ugly but she wasn't anything beyond...ordinary. She chose to ignore it and pulled out her cell phone to check for any messages.
A couple texts from Harrison in regards to Blake eating the last of his Crunch Berries, a dirty joke from Sway and an ETA from Carl.
“We should be in Virginia Beach soon.” Lenny informed Luke, hoping the subject change would snap him back to reality.
“You really going to the beach tomorrow?” Luke asked, shifting into a casual slouch on the sofa. The setting sun cast shadows in the cabin and darkened his face so she couldn't read his expression.
“Yep,” Lenny lied. She hated that she had to lie.
“You could come fishing with me and Mike,” he offered slowly.
Lenny cleared her throat. Honestly? She would much rather go fishing with Luke and Mike then have to play party to Carl's paranoia. But that wasn't an option. “No, I think I better work on my tan.”
“I've just never seen you really talk to the merch girls; I didn't know you guys hung out.” Luke suspected something. Probably not the truth, but he definitely thought she was up to something else. Lenny could feel him studying her and her pulse quickened.
“Just say what you want to say, Luke,” Lenny replied in a low voice, “Ask me the question that's really on your mind.” This was a dangerous game, even for Lenny. If Luke guessed outright what she was doing...she would admit it. And Carl would flip shit.
The cabin was quiet save for the hum of the wheels on the road. Lenny thought about turning on the overhead light so she could read Luke's face.
“Are you seeing someone on the road crew?” His voice was dark and rough, as if the question was painful to ask.
Lenny felt a small smile play on her lips. “No, ” she let let out a relieved sigh. “Nope, I'm as single as they come.”
She connected his suspicions and had to admit that it did indeed look like she was sneaking off to meet a secret lover. She almost laughed at the idea but Luke turned on the lights in the cabin and the serious look on his face sobered her instantly.
He returned to his seat but continued to study her. She met his gaze without flinching.
“Are you seeing Carl?” He asked, his mouth flat.
Lenny's eyes widened and her eyebrows raised at Luke. “Seriously?”
He didn't respond, watching her with that penetrating stare of his. As if he could extract the truth from her by willing it from the depth of her soul.
“No,” Lenny shook her head, incredulous, “I am not seeing Carl. That would be...” She couldn't think of the correct word to finish with. Absurd, creepy, wrong, insane, all came to mind.
“That would be what?” Luke demanded an end to her sentence.
“Weird.” Lenny finally vocalized. “And very, very wrong.” She lifted her hair off of her now, hot neck and pulled it over one shoulder. “Why would you even think that?”
“You seem really comfortable with him,” Luke stated plainly.
Apparently Carl wasn't the only one Lenny was comfortable around. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she had been asleep in Luke's lap. Her, the girl who can't sleep. Drooling in Luke Casey's lap. It was ludicrous.
“I guess he reminds me of my brother, Scott.” Lenny said slowly.
The tense lines around Luke's mouth seemed to relax and the playfulness came back into his voice. “Then what's the real reason you won't come fishing tomorrow?”
Oh, boy. Lenny was about to spill. She swallowed hard, lying to Luke left a bad taste in her mouth.
“I can't tell you,” she finally mustered out. She wanted to smack her forehead with her palm. Why was she so weak when it came to him?
The silence that followed was oppressive and Lenny thought she was actually going to choke. And then Luke let her off the hook.
“I can accept that,” he dipped his head in truce. “You don't have to tell me everything, Lenny...just don't lie to me.”
“Can I ask you a question?” Lenny took advantage of the familiarity that seemed to erupt between them without her permission. It may have been her imagination, or possibly her ego, but she had the distinct impression that Luke was more open with her than he realized.
“Always.” He answered without pause and she felt a tiny shiver race down her spine.
“What changed in between this tour and the last one?” She licked her bottom lip and tried to clarify quickly, “I mean, I know that Mike was in rehab but it seems like this is really important to you. To all of you,” she looked at him with soft eyes, “But especially you.”
Luke let out a careful breath, “That obvious, huh?” He chuckled nervously and rubbed his hand down the side of his face.
Lenny was a little fearful she'd asked too
personal of a question. But she couldn't stop herself this time. She wanted to know. Her need to know more about Luke was sometimes overpowering, like now. It overshadowed her sensible reasoning to keep a safe distance. She wanted to see past the image that was projected to the public and know who he was at his core.
Why did he give her want to make exceptions to all the rules that she believed would keep her safe from defeat? Was it the way his mouth curved up slightly on one side, how his voice deepened when he talked about his friends, the way he seemed to have one more thing to say but never said it? All of the above.
“It's hard to explain.” His eyebrows raised slightly and he focused on the center of the floor. “My parents died in a car accident when I was in fourth grade and my great aunt took me in. I met Mike in sixth grade and we were pretty much inseparable after that. My aunt died a week after I turned eighteen, leaving me a ton of money and no relatives.”
His eyes returned to hers and she saw something deeper, more vivid, than Luke had ever revealed.
“The band became my family. I'd do anything for them. But we got too big too fast and none of us were super responsible about what to do with that kind of popularity. I was drinking,” his eyes widened and he looked into his lap, “a lot. I didn't pay attention to what was happening to us. The night we almost lost Mike, I realized how much I needed him. They're my family, maybe not by blood, but that doesn't really matter. They're my brothers.”
“You love them.” Lenny said it as a definitive statement, squeezed from her by the emotion she heard in his voice as he relayed his simple story.
“Yes,” he nodded. “More than anything.” He looked into her face and she couldn't help but see the burden he carried for his loved ones. The inner conviction and loyalty that drove him.
“The music is more than a hobby or something we happen to be good at. It's who we are. It's or heart-breath, our creed, our passion.” His blue eyes blazed around the edges. “That's why this tour is so important to me. Because they're important to me.”
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