My hands slid up his back and into his hair, and I rocked back into him, my body wet before I even woke up that morning. I looked into his eyes as I watched him make love to me, watched him look at me like there was no one else in the world who could ever take my place.
His strokes were deep and even, at the right pace that was fast enough to make me come, but not so fast that the headboard tapped against the wall. Thankfully, Derek’s bedroom was far away, on the other side of the spacious residence, so we could be together, within reason. “I love you.” His mouth kissed mine, giving me a single wet kiss as his hips continued to work, his dick rock hard inside me.
My hands moved down his neck and to his shoulders, where my nails anchored into his skin. I breathed hard as he stretched me over and over, made me feel so full that it hurt. I was sore after last night, but no amount of soreness could take away my desire. I looked into his eyes and felt my whole world change, felt my life was no longer my own. It was too good, too much like a fairy tale. I didn’t understand how broken and lost I was until he put together the broken pieces scattered around me. I didn’t even notice the parts, not even when I walked across them every day. His soul touched mine, wrapped around it, and cushioned it from all the terrible things in this world. Tears sprang to my eyes and dripped to my ears because my love for this man was too much for me to contain. There was no room in my heart, not when he already filled it to capacity. There was nowhere else for it to go, so it poured out in the form of tears.
He stopped thrusting, his eyes shifting back and forth to look into mine, like he didn’t understand my reaction.
“I’m just happy,” I whispered. “So happy with you…”
Eleven
Deacon
I leaned against the couch on the floor with Cleo beside me, dressed in sweatpants and sweaters since it was Christmas morning.
Derek had so many presents from both of us, so he ripped through them all, loving everything he got. Cleo picked out a LEGO rocket set that he loved, along with packaged astronaut food that she got through a contact at NASA. She even got him a rock from the Moon, one grabbed by Neil Armstrong.
Derek stared at the rock in his palm, as if he was so shocked by the significance of the artifact that he just couldn’t handle it. “I’m touching something that’s from the Moon, that’s made off of Earth—that’s crazy!” It was a small rock, but he still found a detail to study. “I’m going to look at it under my microscope.” He picked up the box with the microscope, a gift from me, and carried everything into his bedroom.
My arm was around her shoulders. “How did you pull that off?”
“One of my clients is pretty high up at NASA.”
“But still, I’m shocked.”
She shrugged. “They have a lot of rocks from the Moon they use for testing, but some of them have left the lab after they finished their quarantine. It’s rare, but I’m sure Derek isn’t the only kid to have one.”
“He’s gonna love you forever for this. Seriously.”
“Good.” She sipped her coffee. “Because I’ll love him forever.”
I pulled her close and kissed her hairline, loving the fact that she loved my son entirely on her own, that she had her own relationship with him that I never had to force. It was organic, natural, real…and it meant a lot to me.
“Want to open my gift now?”
“Yes.”
She crawled under the tree and grabbed a rectangular box before she returned it to me.
I shook it, just as she had with the lingerie. “Is this from Santa or you?”
“Me.”
I set my coffee aside and ripped through the wrapping before I came to a wooden box. I opened the lid, and sitting inside was a black stethoscope. There was a pattern along it, but it was difficult to make out. I lifted it and took a closer look.
It was pictures of Derek everywhere, pictures of us at the cabin together, or at lunch, the beach house, every place we’d been. I examined it for a long time, remembering every memory from every photograph.
“Do you like it?”
I finally turned back to her. “I…I love it.” I put it around my neck and let it hang down. “It’s perfect.” Anything after the watch would always be less special, but this…was pretty amazing.
“Now you’ll always have Derek with you…especially at this age.”
“Yeah…I’ll use it forever.” I hugged her into me and kissed her. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I grabbed the gift I had for her and handed it over.
“You got me something else?” she asked in surprise. “Should I open this in private?”
I grinned. “No. It’s PG.”
She opened it then got to the small box, the jewelry company logo on top. It was one of the most expensive designers in the world, so it was rare and most people didn’t really know what it was, but when she gasped, I knew she must have recognized it. “Deacon…I can already tell you this was waaaaaay too expensive.”
“Nothing is too expensive for you.”
She opened the lid and revealed the bracelet inside, white gold with diamonds, a thick chain. She stilled as she stared at it, her eyes wide, like she couldn’t believe I would get something like that for her. “Uh…oh my god.” She took it out of the box and held it gently, as if she were afraid she would break it. “Deacon, seriously, you did not—”
“I can do whatever I want.” I’d never bought her anything before, just a few dinners. And I wanted to get her something nice, something that would make her feel like she was just as worthy as her clients. I took it from her hands, opened the clasp, and revealed the engraving inside.
From your family, Deacon and Derek.
She stared at it for a long time, her fingers taking it from me and lifting it to her face to read the words over and over. “My family…” She inhaled a deep breath, her eyes watering.
I remembered the way she described us when I left her—that I was family to her, that my son was family to her. It had resonated with me, and I never forgot it. I could replay memories in my mind like a movie on film, and I could see her broken heart and her puffy cheeks as she said it. It made me realize she was family to me, the same way I was to her.
“Deacon…” She placed it on her right wrist and clasped it into my place.
“Derek helped me pick it out.”
“It’s…gorgeous.” She examined it on her wrist.
“I thought it would look nice with the clothes you wear.”
“Uh, yeah. It’ll make me look like a queen,” she said with a weak laugh, like she was still overwhelmed by the gift. “This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had…and that was before you gave me this. So, I guess it’s all downhill from here.”
My hand moved her hair from her face, and I looked at her, seeing her glossy eyes, the way she wore her heart on her sleeve. “I think it’s just the beginning.”
The emotion increased in her gaze, like those words were almost too much to hear. She pivoted her body toward me and pressed her face into my neck, her arms wrapping around my waist. She hugged me tightly and cried quietly into my neck, like she needed a second to process the moment, to process all of this.
I gave her all the time she needed.
I looked at my watch. “Ten…nine…”
Cleo looked at Derek, who was fast asleep on the couch, the blanket pulled over his shoulders.
“Eight…seven…” We sat in front of the roaring fireplace in the living room, snow all around the cabin, the windows icy with frost.
She turned to me, watching me with a subtle smile on her lips. “I can’t believe he didn’t make it until midnight.”
“Three…two…” I lowered my wrist that held her father’s watch and kissed her. My hand cupped the back of her head, and I kissed her against the backdrop of the fireplace, the flames crackling and popping. A simple kiss became heated, our tongues moving together, our quiet pants filling the room.
It took rest
raint to pull away, to release her lips. “Happy New Year.”
She smiled at me. “Happy New Year…”
My fingers continued to caress her hair, feel the soft strands, touch her warm skin. “It’s going to be the best year of my life.”
Her eyes softened.
It was hard to believe it had been only nine months ago when I left California and moved to New York. I met Cleo, was a total dick to her, and now she was the other half of my soul. It was hard to picture my life before, when there wasn’t this radiant ball of energy lighting up my nights. There was so much love in my heart, and not just for my son, that it made me realize I did have more to offer the world. I wasn’t just some bitter, broken man.
I was brand new.
“For Derek’s birthday, I was thinking…we could have a party at the planetarium.”
“That’s a good idea, actually.”
“I can’t take the credit. It was Derek’s idea.”
“But I’m sure you’ll make it incredible.”
“Well, of course.” She smiled. “I think the kids will like it.”
“He’ll be the most popular student in class.”
“He probably already is.”
“I can’t believe he’s six…” In a few days, my boy would be a year older. It was amazing to realize how empty my life was before he was born. I was dead inside. He definitely made me a better man. “I still remember the day he was born like it was yesterday.”
“What was he like as a baby?”
“Perfect.”
She smiled. “Was he quiet…talkative?”
“He cried all the time,” I said with a chuckle. “He was not a good baby. But now that I know him, I realize he just had a lot to say.”
“Were you around a lot when he was that small?”
“Honestly, I worked a lot. Valerie did everything. We didn’t really develop a relationship for six months. I mean, I loved him the moment he was born, but all those connections happened when he was much older. But when they’re babies, they just sleep most of the time and cry in between.”
She nodded slowly.
“Should we have his party on Saturday?”
She stared at me blankly, like she hadn’t heard what I said.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?” Her eyes refocused on me.
“Should we have his party on Saturday?”
“Yeah, that should be fine.”
“Everything alright?”
“Yes,” she said immediately. “I was just thinking about the cake and all that. Maybe we could have Rice Krispie treats that look like moon rocks on top of the cake or something.”
“Yeah, he’d like that.”
“When is your trip to Sweden?”
“The middle of the month.”
“And you’ll be gone for a week?” she asked sadly.
“Yeah.” I was excited to go. It was an honor to be invited. But…I didn’t want to leave her and Derek behind. I wished I could take them with me. If it were over summer, I would. But Derek couldn’t be pulled out of school when it was his first year.
“You know, I’ve never seen your Nobel.”
“It’s in my office.”
“We should put it on the wall or something.”
I shrugged. “Seems a little douchey.”
“What?” she asked incredulously. “You think Olympic winners just leave their medals in a drawer?”
“It’s just…kinda egotistical.”
“Don’t you want Derek to see it every day and be proud of his father? For me to see it every day and be proud?”
“I already know you’re proud of me, baby.”
“Well, I want everyone who walks into the place to see it and feel the same way.”
Most people were annoyed with my constant success. I’d been taught to downplay it so it wouldn’t piss people off so much.
“How did you feel when you received it?”
I stared into her eyes for a while as I replayed the memory in my mind. “I was a bit incredulous when I got the call…but also unsurprised. Colleagues had told me there was no chance it would be given to someone else, that my research was too groundbreaking. When I attended the ceremony, that was really surreal, to stand in a room full of the brightest minds and be given an award like that. Leaders across the globe had stood at that podium. Celebrated scientists had stood at the podium. So many legacies had crossed that stage, and I was one of them. My regret…is that my father wasn’t alive to see it.”
Her eyes showed her pain. “I’m sure he did see it, Deacon…”
“I’m not religious.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “Science can only explain so much, right? I believe he was there, that somehow he knows, that somehow he felt the pride you wanted him to feel.”
“Yeah…maybe.”
“But your son was alive. And when he’s old enough to really understand, he’ll look back on that video and be totally inspired and enamored.”
That was a thought that did make me happy.
“I’d like to watch it sometime, whenever the time is right.”
“It was just a speech.”
She rolled her eyes. “It was more than a speech, and you know it. Don’t downplay your accomplishments. I appreciate your humility, but I’m your person. You don’t need to be humble with me. I want you to feel good about everything you’ve done, to appreciate every single accomplishment you make.”
She and Valerie were as opposite as night and day. “The last fight Valerie and I had before I left…was because I came home and didn’t really talk. I had too much on my mind, and I was just bad at talking. She screamed at me and threw my Nobel over the fence.”
She inhaled a deep breath, her eyes vicious.
“It was dark, so I had to take a flashlight and spend all night looking for it. Thankfully, it wasn’t scratched up. When I came back to the house, I told her I wanted a divorce. I called my lawyer the next morning, filed the paperwork, and then left for New York.”
She shook her head and pressed her lips tightly together.
“I guess that’s why I haven’t put the Nobel on display…but I think I’m ready to now.” Cleo felt pride from my accomplishments like they were her own. She never flattered me because of my wealth, but because of the things I’d accomplished with my mind. She was my cheerleader, my support. She was never jealous or envious of what I’d done.
“Good, because it deserves to be on the wall…so we can appreciate it every day.”
Twelve
Cleo
When we returned to the city, all the decorations had been removed. Packed and placed in storage, they were out of sight until next year.
Derek was disappointed. “Where did the tree go? And the gross candy dish? It looks ugly in here now…”
I loved every word that came out of his mouth, his bluntness. Sometimes he said incredibly sweet things, and they were from the bottom of his heart. He complained about the look of the living room, but it was a compliment because he missed the decorations so much. “They’ll come back next year.”
“A whole year?” he asked. “Man, I wish it was always Christmas.” He unzipped his jacket as he headed down the hallway to his bedroom.
Now that Derek was here full time, our lifestyles were really different. We used to have privacy, to take impromptu trips to the beach house, to have sex in the living room, go out to dinner whenever we wanted. Now our only alone time was at night in the bedroom. The rest of the time, it was the three of us, not two of us.
But that was okay with me.
I loved having Derek in our lives. He was a sweetheart, a gift.
When he returned, he brought his coloring book and his colored pencils. “Cleo, you want to color?”
I knew Deacon needed to shower before getting dinner started, so keeping his son occupied for a while was beneficial. But sitting in front of the TV and coloring actually sounded relaxing after the long day we’d had. “Sure. Let me go get my s
tuff.”
“Cool.” He sat on the floor and put his materials on the coffee table.
Deacon and I moved to the bedroom, carrying our things.
“I think he likes you more than me sometimes.” Deacon set everything on the dressers in the closet.
“I just color better.”
He chuckled. “I think it’s more than that.” He stripped off his jacket and tossed it on the dresser. “I’m gonna get in the shower then get dinner started.”
“Alright.” Every time I looked at him, I felt gratitude. He didn’t make my life better because he was rich and I was poor. He made my life better because he made me so wealthy with joy, made me fall deep in love, in a blissful way I’d never imagined. I didn’t realize it was possible to be happy all the time…every single day.
“I wish you could join me.”
“Me too.” A nice hot shower with a hot man sounded nice after days in the snow.
His hands pushed into my hair, and he cupped my face as he leaned in and kissed me, embracing me in the confines of his dark closet.
If it were just the two of us, I’d take him then and there.
But it wasn’t just the two of us, and it never would be again.
He kissed the corner of my mouth before he turned away.
I watched him go, watched him strip off his sweater and leave it on the floor as he walked away. All muscle under that tanned skin, all sex in those chiseled grooves. I sighed as I watched him leave, missing him the second he was gone.
Derek had a great time.
He invited all of his friends from class to come to the party.
Deacon rented out the planetarium for the day, so the kids had a full schedule of activities, lectures, and behind-the-scenes experiences that weren’t offered to the public. Since pizza was Derek’s favorite, that was what he got, even though Deacon didn’t like it.
But Derek had the time of his life.
All wearing party hats and the planetarium shirts that were laid out on the tables before they walked in, they looked like a tourist group. All the kids got along, and Derek was just as popular as I expected him to be.
The Man Who Has No Sight (Soulless Book 4) Page 14
