Teresa’s laughter shook the room. “Stop this foolishness. Music career?” She let out another burst of laughter.
“Are you saying you wouldn’t be happy if that was what I wanted to do for a living? You wouldn’t support me?”
“My daughter is not that foolish so I don’t have to worry about that.” She leaned over and patted Chelsea on the cheek.
“Don’t be too surprised if one day I wake up and I want to be a reggae artist. With dreadlocks and everything,” Chelsea said twisting her hair playfully as if trying to turn it into locks.
“Anyways I’m off to bed. You’ll be surprised when Jamie becomes a hit in America.”
“Whatever floats your boat. Goodnight darling.” Music career? she thought. What a foolish dreamer.
***
Jamie entered the apartment at 11:55 p.m. He thought maybe it was just in his head but he could still smell a trace of Chelsea’s perfume lingering around him. He stood in front of the door as he closed it, looked up and prayed for help. He didn’t want to be a prisoner of love bound by feelings, yet unable to express them to the object of his affection. Every minute he spent with Chelsea was precious and he felt a heightened sense of happiness and peace on the inside. No one had ever done that to him.
He decided that the quicker he faced the truth, the better for him. The best thing he could think of was to try as much as he could to avoid her. Just stay away, he thought to himself as he walked to his bedroom.
“Hey you,” Helen said as he walked past her. They turned the supposed living room into a bedroom/living room. They put a mattress on the floor and pushed the sofa against the wall so they could still watch the installed TV comfortably.
“Hi Mom, did I wake you up?” Jamie asked looking back.
“Not really. I was only half asleep. Did you have a good night?” She sat up and cleared her throat.
“Awesome night...really great show. Good day?”
“Not too bad. I was transferred to an easier department today. Ummm...oh I went by the house today. Saw two girls playing on the porch while their mother talked to one of the neighbors. They looked happy. It was kind of surreal.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Are you OK?”
“Yes honey, I’m fine. We have to move on. Remember what your father always said about regrets?”
“No regrets. There’s always more ahead of you than there is behind you.”
“Exactly, I’m gonna live by that from now on.”
“That sounds good. I’m hungry. Any leftovers for a decent guy?”
“I made some egg and sardine sandwiches.”
“You know I don’t like sardines. I’ll make a quick snack. We still have some bread right?
“I lie. There’s some chilli in the fridge.” She yawned and went back to sleep.
Jamie served some chilli into a white bowl, warmed it in the microwave, cut a slice of the cornbread he found in the kitchen cabinet and placed everything on a tray. He went into his room, placed his food on the table and turned on the PC. He took a few bites of food then started to type a text on his phone as he waited for the computer to boot.
-I had a great time tonight. We should spend more time together.
Then he changed the last sentence.
-I had a great time tonight. We should hang out more.
He was about to hit send but then hesitated. Didn’t he just decide a few minutes ago he was going to try to avoid her? He erased the whole thing and turned his phone off. He opened the JazzChat website and sent an email to JazzyTee.
JazzChat Inbox
Date: 09/23/2010
From: BoyFromElm
To: JazzyTee
Hello JazzyTee,
Finally, I got to read chapter ten early this morning. I must say this is the longest I’ve ever taken to read a book all my life. At first, I thought it was because I usually don’t enjoy non-fiction (I finish 100,000 word thrillers in some hours lol). But then I realized it’s how Robert E. Benson says things that have so much meaning, you can’t keep reading until you’ve reflected and thought it all out sentence by sentence.
So this is the statement that jumped at me:
“It is neither this way nor that for the essence of jazz and life is freedom. Freedom to express ourselves. You do you and I’ll do me.”
I’ve been feeling a sense of freedom to be who I want to be, to follow my own path and to make my own mistakes. I think I am at a place where I won’t allow the pressures of family expectations or the society at large dictate who I am or what I decide to do for a living. In the end happiness is what really matters right?
I do want to be successful in life. I think anyone who doesn’t want to be successful has simply not tasted poverty. But I want to be successful my way. You would think that everyone thinks like that but believe it or not, Chelsea is the first person who didn’t just agree but fully understood the process going on in my mind. I feel like she’s going through the same thing. It’s almost like both our mothers have created these grand plans that we have to follow. It just becomes really boring at some point.
Have you ever felt like that and how did you deal with it?
By the way, I have a confession. I am really really into Chelsea and would give anything to be with her. The more time we spend together, the more I realize I can’t control how I feel about her. So here is what I’ve decided to do: STAY AWAY. I think I’m going to avoid spending time alone with her so I don’t say something stupid one day when we are together. The worst thing that could happen is telling her how I feel and then getting rejected. That is clearly a possibility because she does have a boyfriend which I tend to ignore sometimes :).
Not that I am that afraid of rejection but I think it will definitely affect our friendship. But then again, do you stay away from someone you consider your best friend? Arrrgggh...I wish things were different. You know what’s even weirder? Her boyfriend is interested in signing me up next year to his father’s record label (nothing concrete yet). I mean that could be my big break after I’m done with college.
OK, I have to go finish up a calculus paper, deadline is tomorrow morning.
Thanks,
Jamie
JazzyTee’s reply came in twenty minutes later.
JazzChat Inbox
Date: 09-10-2010
From: JazzyTee75
To: BoyFromElm
Hi Jamie,
I spent the day painting my daughter’s room. I’m not sure if it looks good but it looks very pink and she loves pink. My sister is coming over tomorrow to help me with the other things I need to install to make it “six-year-old princess” worthy.
I have to say, you remain one of the most introspective young men I’ve ever met, which is quite rare for people your age these days. I didn’t even notice that line in the book. I’ll go read it now and come back to finish this email.
OK so I’ve just read it and I agree with your interpretation of it. The only thing I’d add to that is this: the struggle to be yourself and live your life based on your own chosen path in life is a continuous one. It follows you into adulthood. We all still struggle with it, adults just know how to fake it, acting like we know everything, like we always know the right decisions to make when we are sometimes as clueless as young people.
Anyway, so you got bit by the love bug, eh? It happens to the best of us :). I don’t know what to say to you about this situation of yours though, since she has a boyfriend who is likely to become your boss but I think there’s nothing wrong with sticking around *wink.* You never know what luck might bring your way. Life does have a sense of humor. I’m pretty sure if life was a human being, he would be a comedian.
Have a good one.
Jamie smiled when he read those words, “nothing wrong with sticking around.” He so wanted to, he wanted Chelsea to know he was available in case anything ever happened between her and John. Gosh that girl is so worth waiting for, he thought. He would stick around. Just in case.
He finished h
is soon-to-be-due math paper and slept peacefully two hours later with thoughts of her filling every fiber of his mind.
10
It was the last Saturday in September. John and Chelsea had spent most of their day at the college’s graduate students’ library but were now spending time together in her bedroom, just relaxing. She watched a women's soccer game between the US and China on her laptop while he texted on his phone at length. She’d previously complained about his obsessive phone use a couple of times but relented after she saw it was only causing friction between them and she didn’t want to be seen as a nagging girlfriend. But he was always texting one person or the other, always holding on to his phone as if he couldn't breathe without it. He would text while they were out at dinner and at the movies. He'd text while she talked to him about something important which meant she would usually have to repeat herself because he missed cogent details of their conversation.
“At least give me your attention when we are together or when I’m trying to tell you something important,“ she said the previous week but now she just gave up completely and put it on the list of things not to bother about anymore; it really wasn’t worth the hassle. When you’re in graduate school, the less disagreements you have the better, she thought. I don’t need all that distraction.
“Did you see that? Did you see that goal?“ she asked excitedly. “These girls are so skillful sometimes I think they could beat the men’s team. I think that’s something I’d like to see, just for fun.” The US team scored a spectacular goal to bring the scores level with the Chinese. She sat up halfway to watch the replay of the goal and then glanced at John. It looked to her like he didn’t hear a thing she said. She kept on watching her game by herself.
“Hey are you watching the game?” Tyler’s voice came from behind the door.
“Hey you. Yup, I’m watching. Tied with the Chinese. Second half,” Chelsea said to Tyler who opened the door and stood at the entrance to her room. A question was written all over his face. Chelsea could tell when her brother wanted something.
“You want something buddy?“
“Can I come watch the game with you guys?“ he asked, almost begging. Like his sister, he had their mother's eyes. He was however, tall and lanky like their father. Although he was always a child who concerned himself with his own thoughts more than what was going on around him, his new keeping-to-myself phase had become more pronounced.
“Sure,” Chelsea said looking at John for approval. “If John doesn’t mind.”
“Babe, this is supposed to be our little time together,” John said, not giving Tyler a mere glance.
“Right, but then you’ve been on your phone all day.”
“But I’m here,” he said still typing away.
“Guys, like, it’s OK, never mind. I’ll just go back downstairs,” Tyler didn’t wait for their response. He turned around and shut the door.
“You should have been nicer to him. And I don’t know how you think this is spending time together when you’re constantly...never mind,” Chelsea said.
“I don’t think I said anything wrong to him. You can spend enough time with him when I’m gone. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
She was quiet the rest of the evening. The game wasn't enjoyable anymore so she moved to the other side of the bed and started reading a textbook in preparation for her next class. Spending time together my foot, she thought. She remembered what Melanie Clark (the girl in high school who read books about dating) said many years ago about the honeymoon phase of relationships, how you start to know the real person after that phase. She wondered if she was just seeing the real John now.
After a few minutes, John looked at her and said, “Honestly babe, you are pissing me off right now. Do you think I don’t have some studying to do as well? I’m just here wasting my time?”
Chelsea was boiling but she kept the lid on her emotions. She didn’t even look at him. Who does he think he is?
“If you’re gonna be this way the whole evening then I might as well just leave.”
“Maybe you should,” she found herself saying.
It was now 7:00 p.m. and Teresa made dinner for everyone. She asked John what he would like to have for dinner and went to the grocery store herself to buy some Chinnook salmon and all the other ingredients she needed to prepare the meal.
“I won't be able to wait for dinner anymore Teresa. I have a few things to do at home.” She was no longer Mrs Braithwaite–he started addressing her by her first name two weeks before when she insisted that he could. It was a little bit surprising to Chelsea because this was the same mother of hers who never allowed any of her boyfriends or any of her friends to refer to her by anything other than Mrs. Braithwaite but Teresa wanted her potential son-in law to be as comfortable with her as possible.
“Oh don’t even worry about it. It’s not such a big deal. We have enough mouths to deal with this. Besides there’ll be plenty more opportunities to have dinner with us,” Teresa said setting the plates on the dining table.
“Thank you Teresa, have a good evening.”
After John left Chelsea came down and sat at dinner with Teresa but Tyler was absent.
“Mom, where's Tyler?” she asked as she reached for the bowl of roasted potatoes and served herself a handful portion. Then she placed a serving of salmon beside it.
“He's playing basketball in the back.”
“And you let him? Shouldn't he be having dinner?”
“I'm not in the mood for arguments today. Let him do whatever he wants as long as he doesn't get in my way,” she said and then putting on a wide smile she asked, “So how are you and John?”
Chelsea threw her a weird look.
“What do you mean?” She knew the question was pregnant with something beneath the surface.
“I mean are things moving forward?”
“We are good. Still getting to know each other. What exactly are you asking Mom? I know you.” She pointed her fork at her Mom.
“Do you think he'll pop the question soon?“
Chelsea scoffed and said, “Mom, let’s just eat.”
“OK, OK I was just teasing. He looked flustered. I was wondering if you had a disagreement.”
“It’s nothing. We are fine. The fish is really good.”
“Thanks honey.”
“Mmm...no, thank you. John should have waited. This is soo good.”
“He said he had something important to do.”
“Oh really? I couldn’t tell with all that time he was spending on his phone,” Chelsea said rolling her eyes.
“Is everything OK? Come on, talk to me.“
As they ate, she told Teresa what happened.
“Sometimes he’s so nice but then beneath all that it’s almost like there’s an underlying self-centeredness. Like he expects everything to be about him. I would have said it was something that came from growing up as an only child but Jamie is an only child and he’s never like that. I guess when you combine being an only child with having parents who not only have the means to give you everything but actually do give you everything you want, it doesn’t bode well.” She shook her head.
“Why are you being so judgemental? We always gave you everything you wanted. You didn’t turn out badly.”
“Growing up as an upper-middle-class child is different from growing up the way he did Mom. His dad practically owns New York State. Huge difference but it’s not even about their level of wealth, I think it’s about how the parents go about things and to be honest I’m not sure they did a very good job. I’ve been putting up with a lot of things lately.”
“I just want you to remember that no one is perfect, and neither are you.”
“I know, I know. We’ll be fine.”
After they were done with dinner, Chelsea went outside looking for Tyler. She didn't like that Tyler was quick to behave rudely but that didn't mean John was right to treat him that way either, like he was something to be done away with. He was her brother
and she loved him. She always hoped that she would meet someone who would get along with Tyler and be the big brother he longed for and probably needed. Well, it didn't look like that was ever going to happen.
She opened the back door that led to the garden where they used to have barbeques in the summer. The basketball court was further back, just behind the garden.
As she walked closer, she heard the sound of the ball against the ground and a familiar voice.
“Yeah that's it...that's it. Keep your focus on the basket.“
Thud.
Thud.
Jamie was coaching Tyler and playing against him at the same time. Jamie was good at basketball in high school but not enough to make the team. He also didn't like the politics involved with making the team so he played for leisure at the community youth center and focused on the school choir.
Chelsea stood a few yards from them, crossed her arms across her chest and watched as Jamie and his protege sweated it out on the court. Jamie glanced at her, smiled and waved while Tyler focused on his game, as if he didn’t see his sister.
After ten more minutes they stopped. Sweating and breathing hard Jamie started towards Chelsea.
“I see you two have been busy,” she said as he came closer.
“Hey,” Jamie said. “Hug?” he asked jokingly, wiping the sweat off his face with his tee shirt.
“With all that sweat? Umm, I'll pass thank you sir.” They laughed. Then she called out, “Hey Tyler I was looking for you. You missed dinner.”
Tyler didn’t respond but started walking towards them.
“Jamie, so same time tomorrow?” Tyler asked as he walked past.
“Yeah, sure thing.”
He walked away as if there wasn't a third person present with them.
“OK what's that about?” Jamie asked.
“That's Tyler being Tyler. He wanted to watch the soccer game with me and John but John said…” she paused, “we said no because we were spending some time together.”
An Autumn to Remember: A Novel (Elmtown Series Book 1) Page 8
