by J. L. Murray
"She probably didn’t feel any pain," said Eli after a moment. He came around and sat on the coffee table, just as Naz had done an hour earlier. "She wasn’t scared or nervous or anything. It was probably like dying in her sleep. Maybe you did her a favor." I remembered the horrified look in Norah Delaney’s eyes, her accusing look clouded with pain. I didn’t say anything, though. Gage had enough problems without lumping more guilt on him.
"Yeah, well, didn’t stop me from going to pieces over the blood," said Gage. "Jesus, I’m goddamn useless."
"You were weak from the first spell," I said. "We’re going to get this guy, Bobby. You’ll have your chance."
"Just out of curiosity," said Eli, seeming to have shaken his anger at Gage, "why did the blood bother you so much, Bobby? You got some kind of phobia or something?"
"Just does," said Gage shortly. "Does there have to be a reason? Stop badgering me." He took a long swig of the diet cola I’d gotten him from the fridge.
I looked at Eli, then back to Gage. "Bobby," I said. "I know it’s your business, but if there’s something to it, you need to tell us. Our lives are on the line here. You fell apart back there. Your spells might not have been strong enough to take down Abaddon, but we could have learned how he reacted at least. I think we deserve to know why this is happening to you so we can anticipate it in the future."
Gage was quiet so long that I thought he’d just decided not to acknowledge the question. But finally he took a deep breath and straightened up. He looked at the ceiling. "It wasn’t my fault," he said. I looked at Eli and shared a look of confusion. I wasn’t sure if he was talking about tonight or another time. Gage continued after a moment. "I was out with some friends when it happened. Demons, I learned later. A bad lot, too. Got out and went on a bender. My house wasn’t the only one they visited. But it was the only one I saw. I mostly just remember the blood."
Gage stopped, putting his hand over his eyes. His voice became thick. "My wife and my son were killed," he said. "I don’t remember what happened after that, but they said I went crazy. Started screaming and attacking the cops. I woke up in a mental hospital. They kept me in there for a couple of months. Lumped me in with all the crazies and freaks. But when I see the blood, it takes me back to that night. And I get sick thinking about it. I can see my wife’s dead face staring at me, and I can feel myself losing it again. Like one more thing will put me over the edge and I’ll wake up in the loony bin again." Gage wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. "So that’s why I go to pieces, and now you know all about it."
"Jesus," said Eli. "I’m sorry, Bobby. I had no idea."
"Damn right you had no idea," said Gage. "And now you two are looking at me like you feel sorry for me and you don’t know how to act around me. It pisses me off. So stop it. I didn’t want to tell you. It changes the way you look at a person when you find out about their secrets. So don’t look at me like that."
"Okay," I said, shrugging.
Gage narrowed his eyes. "You messing with me, Slobodian?" he said.
"No," I said. "Everyone has secrets. I got mine, Eli’s got a doozy. I don’t give a shit. I just want to find this Abaddon thing and put it back where it came from."
Gage nodded. "All right then," he said. "Fair enough."
"That’s out of the way then. Now think about ways you can get past it, all right?"
Gage shrugged. "I’ll think about it. Dunno if I’ll come up with anything. It is what it is."
"And you are who you are," I said. "You can make it happen." I turned to Eli. "What about this partner of yours, Shippley?"
Eli shook his head. "I had no idea. Known him for five years. Never dreamed he was on the take."
"Well, you’re probably going to want to call someone in about this, aren’t you?"
"I guess I have to," he said. "Tell Ron what happened. Guess I’ll have to tell him about Shipp, too."
"Guess you will," I said. "You better hope you get to Ron before Shipp does. That lady in there died because of him. You understand that, right?"
Eli looked at me bleary-eyed. I was pretty sure that his partner taking bribes had affected him more than Delaney getting her heart torn out right in front of him. Cops. "Yeah, Niki. I get it. I’m not stupid. He was my friend, though. Do you understand that?"
"Just call me when you’re finished," I said.
"What are you going to do?" asked Eli. "Where would your dad even be?"
"I don’t know," I said. "I really have no idea. He’s dying, and when he does die, that thing is going to be loose in the city. How many sinners are in this city, anyway? He’d have to eradicate the entire population."
"Sinners?" said Gage.
"Yeah, didn’t you hear Abaddon talking in there?" I said. "He said he wouldn’t kill me because I wasn’t a big enough sinner.
"I didn’t hear nothing," said Gage. "Just you yelling at him and the big freaky bastard smiling at you. And puking. I heard a lot of puking. But that was just me."
"Well, he got into my head," I said. "I think he was rooting around in there. And then the feeling stopped and he said I wasn’t a sinner. But Eli was."
"Me?" said Eli. "Why me? I’m a boy scout."
"Something about supporting power-hungry maniacs," I said. "Anyway, bullets don’t work, we know that. And Abaddon can get into our heads."
"Yours at least," said Gage.
"Any ideas?" I said, ignoring the crack. "Gage could probably do some kind of damage if he can stop puking for five seconds."
"Come on," said Gage. "I bared my soul to you."
"Sorry, Bobby," I said. "So we know that demons hate salt, right?"
"Lower ones do. Even worse than the Darks. The Dark didn’t seem to be able to cross it. But with the demons it’ll burn a hole right through his skin. Kind of gross, actually. Lot of smoke and pus."
"So let’s grab all of Delaney’s salt before we go. Anything else?" I looked from Eli to Gage. Eli was frowning, trying to think of our next step. Gage’s face lit up.
"What about your grandmother or whoever she was? At the hospital."
"Sofi?" I said. "What about her? I don’t think Sasha would go there. And Craig would’ve called me if he showed up."
"Yeah," said Gage, "but she’s a psychic. She can help us."
"Psychic?" said Eli. "Sofi?"
"Try to keep up, Eli," I said.
"Jesus, I didn’t know," said Eli.
"There’s a lot you don’t know lately," said Gage.
"Apparently," said Eli.
"No," I said. "The answer is no. I am not tangling Sofi up in this shit. I’ve kept her safe all this time. She’s going to stay safe."
"And what about us?" said Gage. "Who’s going to keep you safe, Niki? Think about it."
"You can’t always be thinking about everyone else, Nik," said Eli. "Sometimes a little self-preservation goes a long way. Imagine how angry Sofi would be if you died tonight."
"She’s dying," I said, but I knew I’d lost the argument. "She’s got cancer."
"You never know," said Eli. "Maybe the treatments are working."
"Yeah?" I said. "How’d she look when you visited her the other day? Did she look like the treatments were working?" Eli didn’t say anything, just looked at me. "She’s not getting better," I said. "She’s getting worse."
"Wouldn’t she want to help you, though?" said Eli. "If you gave her the choice of resting or helping you, which would Sofi choose?"
I glared at the two of them. "Shit," I said. "All right. But I am completely against this. If this hurts her in any way, I am coming after you two."
"Agreed," said Gage. "Let’s go."
"You don’t get to leave," said a voice. Norah Delaney’s voice had finally come out of her hiding place. She was glaring at me again. "I’m dead, and you’re just going to leave me there, huh?"
"Eli’s staying, don’t worry," I said. "The police will be here soon. They’ll treat your body with respect." Gage and Eli were looking at me curiously. I mo
uthed Delaney.
"Respect. That’s rich. So I’m just supposed to stay here and haunt my own house, is that is? Why haven’t I gone to Heaven or something."
"I don’t know," I said. "Are you letting go?"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she said. "I let go of my body, can’t you tell? I am ready to go, why am I still here?"
It was a good question. From my experience someone like Delaney should have crossed over to one place or another. She didn’t have any guilt that seemed to bother her, no family, friends that I knew of. She should have been able to go. There had been a lot more ghosts lately. I wondered if the two things were related. "I’m sorry, I don’t know. I have to go. We’ll figure it out later. Talk to Eli. He can’t hear you, but he’s a good listener."
She looked at Eli, already on the phone with Ron Smithy. "He’s kind of cute, too."
We took Gage’s car. I’d filled my pockets with artisan salt from Delaney’s cupboard before we left. But on the way to the car I noticed the small white specks scattered on the steps and the sidewalk. Sure enough. I spied a big white bag of rock salt propped up against the house, so I hefted the bag and tossed it onto the floor of the backseat, next to the box that held my guns.
"Nice," said Gage.
"I’ve been known to be resourceful."
Chapter Sixteen
I didn’t hate the hospital for the same reasons everyone else did. For me it wasn’t the smells or the thoughts of disease and death. It was the fact that I could see the death. Ghosts roamed the halls, seeming even more creepy because most of them wore white hospital gowns. They clutched at people that passed by with hands that had no substance. No one knew they were there, or felt their touch. No one but me.
I didn’t know if I was getting better at seeing them, or if their numbers had grown over the years. When I was little, Naz got shot and Sasha brought me along on his visit to cheer up Uncle Naz. There had only been a few wandering spirits back then. But every time I visited Sofi I dodged the cold, dead fingers all the way down the hall. I could feel the eyes of the staff staring after me long after I’d passed the nurses’ station. Like they didn’t have better things to do than to judge a crazy person.
Tonight seemed even worse than usual. The hospital seemed like something out of a horror movie. Gage lumbered along beside me, and I tried not to cringe when the hands touched me. Gage, I could see, felt nothing. I focused on walking straight ahead, trying to ignore the touching, but it was difficult. I wanted to gag and scream and run away from these things. I maintained my composure all the way to Sofi’s room, even flashing my badge at the nurses station when they told us we couldn’t be there.
Craig was seated outside Sofi’s door. He stood up when he saw me coming. "Everything all right?" he said.
"The mayor’s dead," I said. "If that’s what you mean."
"Oh," said Craig. "That’s no good." He had deep circles under his eyes and he looked exhausted.
"You slept at all?" I said.
"No. Came straight here from my double shift at the prison. Remember? But what about you two?" Craig said. "You guys look terrible."
"We’ll manage," said Gage.
Sofi was awake but bleary-eyed, watching television. She turned sleepily when I came in and her face broke out in a big smile. She almost looked like herself when she smiled.
"Nikita," she said, shakily holding out her arms. I hugged her gently. "It’s been so long. Are you feeling better?"
"Much," I said, pulling up a chair.
"And who is this?" she croaked.
"Baba, this is my partner, Bobby Gage. He’s working with me on a case."
"You are a tall one," she said.
"Yes, ma’am," said Gage.
Gage sat down in one of the chairs that had been set up against the wall. She looked back to me. "So this is not a social call," she said.
"Sorry," I said. "But we need your help. It’s about Sasha."
She nodded. "Poor Sasha. You cannot know how many prayers I’ve said for him over the years. But before you ask me your questions," she said, "I feel I must tell you about something first."
"What’s that?" I said.
"Karen was here."
I wrinkled my nose. "What did she want?"
"She is worried I am not being taken care of," she said. "I told her I do not need someone taking care of me. I am in a hospital for God’s sake. But she went on about how you were not providing me with the proper care. She said you do not pay the bills. Then she left and came back, and said you must be doing something bad because you paid the bills." Sofi rolled her eyes. "I tried all day to get rid of her. And now she says she wants to take me back home with her."
"What did you say to that?" I said.
"I told her, ‘Stuff it,’" said Sofi. "Karen was very angry. She finally left. We may have trouble from her. Now, what do you need from me?"
"I know you’re not feeling your best right now," I said. "And I would never ask you this if it wasn’t important."
"You want me to help you find Sasha," she said.
"Yeah," I said. "He’s got some major cloaking going on. No spell can find him. He’s summoned something really bad, Sofi. It’s killing people. And he can’t control it. Not completely, anyway."
"Yes, I should say it is very bad," she said, her face serious. "You have seen what Abaddon does, yes?"
"You know about it?" I said.
"Who do you think you’re talking to?" she said, clicking her tongue. "You think just because I’m sick that I’d lose my ability? No, I have been having visions. Sasha, Abaddon, you."
"Me?"
"Yes, you," she said, pointing a finger at me. "Putting yourself in harm’s way and getting possessed by a Dark. Shame on you, Nikita. Be smart."
I looked at Gage and saw he wasn’t listening. He was caught up in his Grimoire again. "Sofi," I said. "What else do you know?"
"I know that Sasha is dying," she said. "Even if this thing does not kill him, he will die. He has not been well for some time now."
"He told me," I said.
"He regrets the things he’s done," she said. "He will do what he must to save you, Niki. But it is not Sasha that is the danger. It is the demon. He is strong. You must be stronger."
"He was in my head," I said. "He told me he wanted to scourge the world of sin. If he gets free, Sofi, I don’t know what will happen. Could be the end of the world."
"So find them," she said.
"But how?" I said.
"Can you think of nowhere that Sasha would go to feel secure?"
I thought about that. "Do you mean the warehouse?" I said. "Why would he go there?"
"Think about it, Nikita," said Sofi, lying her head back on her pillow. "Where could he go without being judged? All those years of doing bad things, people recognized him, hated him wherever he went. Where did he go to get away from all that?"
"The warehouse. Of course," I said. "Thank you, Sofi."
"Niki," she said.
"Yes?"
"Please be careful." She opened her eyes and smiled pleadingly at me. She looked even more exhausted than Craig.
I nodded. "Sofi," I said, lowering my voice so Eli didn’t hear. "Why didn’t you tell me that you sent him away?"
"Ah, you have been talking to Nazar, yes?" I nodded. "A child does not understand when a parent is hurting them. To the child, everything is the way it should be. The child feels happy to be a part, to be included. Sasha was dragging you into his world, Niki. I couldn’t bear it if you had to make yourself as cold as Sasha did. I hope you will someday forgive me for that." She swallowed. "Don’t let yourself be cold, my Nikita." Her thin chest rose and fell and I knew she was asleep.
I turned slowly to find Gage looking at me.
"What?" I said.
"Nothing. Just when people whisper like that it makes me paranoid."
"Sorry," I said. "Family stuff."
"Was it about me?"
"Don’t flatter yourself," I said.
He shrugged and put his book back in his satchel. "So what now?" Gage said. "Some kind of warehouse?"
"It’s over by the Deep Blue Sea," I said. "Do you think we should stop and talk to Sam before we go? It’s right on the way."
"Sam? I’ve never talked to him in the middle of a case before, but I guess it can’t hurt. Just one catch."
"What’s that?"
"If Sam ain’t there, neither is the Deep Blue Sea."
"What do you mean?" said Eli. "Like it’s closed?"
"Nah. Gone. Poof. Like it was never there," said Gage. "It vanishes when Sam goes out. Just a fact, is all."
"Disappearing bar," I said. "Peachy. Well, let’s hope it’s there, or else we’re on our own. And I don’t much like our odds."
Chapter Seventeen
The Deep Blue Sea wasn’t there.
There wasn’t even a space where it used to be. Just the normal gap that generally came between the two warehouses it had previously shoved itself between. It just looked like two run-down buildings now. No bar. No Sam. No help.
"How the hell does an entire bar just disappear like that?" I said. "I mean, it’s like it was never there."
"Maybe it wasn’t," Gage said. "Powerful magic with that guy."
"But how can he take the whole building with him?"
"Come on," said Gage. "It’s Sam. The guy’s got power."
"You think he’s some kind of bigshot in Hell?" I said.
Gage shrugged. "How should I know? I look dead to you? Your boyfriend would have a better chance of going there alive than I would."
"What’s that supposed to mean?" I said.
"He’s half-demon," said Gage, attention back on his Grimoire, open in his lap.
"So?"
He shrugged. "It just is the way it is. And for the record, he’s not going to be able to hide those horns in that curly mop of his much longer. They’re gonna grow."
"Whatever," I said. "Let’s stay on topic. We’re going to the warehouse my father used to take me to. If he’s there, and he’s alive, Abaddon’s there, too. If he’s there and he’s dead, we’re in deep shit."
"Abaddon’s strong," Gage said, "stronger than us. But the salt might slow him down a little. And with some luck we might survive the night."