by Mary Corran
‘You?’ She looked at him in blank astonishment. ‘Why should you do anything?’
‘Because you’re my responsibility, here even more than at Kepesake. Did you think I’d not care because of something Lewes did?’ He paused, waiting for a reaction, but none came. ‘I don’t know how you live, Asher, but there’s no need for you to work. Callith would never forgive me if I didn’t help you. You could even go and live with her, in Fate; she’d be very happy to have you as a companion.’ The prospect appealed to him greatly, and he smiled at the thought of the two of them together again. Motherhood had failed to dim his young sister’s spirits. ‘Or something else could be arranged, if you’d prefer.’ He faltered, sensing in her neither gratitude nor acceptance.
‘I don’t want your help, Mallory. I don’t need it and never did.’ She was still very pale. ‘I don’t want anything at all from you. I thought you were a friend, or I wouldn’t have told you so much. But you’re not my father, nor my keeper.’
The sound of footsteps coming down the trail diverted his attention; they were sitting quite close to the track, and he had no desire for Asher, nor himself, to be seen in such an apparently compromising situation. Their close conversation would look at best amorous, at the worst conspiratorial.
‘Get up,’ he whispered. ‘There’s someone coming. We should go further into the trees.’
She did not argue, moving with a swiftness that spoke an equal determination to keep out of sight. Gathering his cloak, Mallory followed her deeper into the pines until they were far enough from the track to be safely hidden. Neither of them spoke as they watched a thin young man pass down and out of sight, whistling cheerfully as he went.
It was some time after the footsteps faded from hearing that Mallory laid down his cloak again. Asher looked much more herself, the interval of silence between them evidently having produced a soothing effect.
‘Now, can we begin again?’ Mallory smiled down at her, for she was a good eight inches shorter than himself, though taller than Honora; for the first time he noticed the sadness in her face, and wondered how the years since she came to Venture had dealt with her. ‘What are we going to do with you?’
Asher was strongly tempted to sweep out and leave him sitting there. The disappointment of discovering him no different from any of the other men with whom she had dealings was a blow, for she had always believed him possessed of a natural sense of justice. She had trusted him to know her well enough to see her as a person, not someone automatically less capable than himself by reason of her sex. The inequity of his attitude filled her with a rage as vain as it was impossible to express, and for a moment she hated him for not understanding her anger, nor its cause. She wanted to shock him, to revenge herself on him for the injustices which had forced her to leave home and friends, to hide herself in a strange city which had, at first, proved both frightening and incomprehensible. Yet she did not. She put a hand to the back of her head, which felt tight, a warning of pain, and tried to massage the taut muscles in her neck.
‘Mallory, I have friends, a home, and work here in Venture. There’s no need for you to worry about me, I assure you,’ she said, striving for patience. ‘In two years Lewes can presume me dead and marry again, or whatever he chooses. Let it be.’
‘What work do you do?’ She saw him looking at her hands, as though he expected to see them red and rough from domestic service, and smiled to herself.
‘I’m a chief clerk at the Treasury.’
The silence with which he greeted the information made up for a great deal. That the news was unwelcome as well as a surprise was immediately apparent, for Mallory frowned irritably.
‘It sounds very unsuitable.’
Asher was amused. ‘You’ve a lot to learn, Mallory. As you’ll discover, about half the city is run by women, thanks to your brother. He found us cheap and effective; the cost of running Venture fell by a third during his time on Council, because you pay us much less than men.’
‘Perhaps I should congratulate you. I always knew you were intelligent.’
She could see he hated being made to feel in the wrong, and rejoiced. ‘So you see,’ she said quietly, ‘there’s no need for you to feel responsible for me.’
She could see he dismissed her words without a second thought, although she thought his shoulders sagged a little, as if her own weight had been added to whatever heavy burdens he already carried. ‘Don’t talk such nonsense,’ he said sharply. ‘Matters can’t be left like this. What if you want to marry again?’
The question had never occurred to her, but her answer came at once. ‘No.’
‘I can understand that.’
She stared at him, surprised by the bitter note in his voice. ‘Is something wrong with Melanna?’
‘She died — no, don’t be sorry. She died in childbed — but the child wasn’t mine, I’d been away too long for that. Who knows how many lovers she had while I was gone!’
Asher felt her initial sympathy fade. He was unfaithful to her; Callith told me. He made no secret of it. She knew a desire to defend Melanna in her death, for she had liked her, and known how lonely she had been running the Kepesake estate during Mallory’s long absences. ‘She paid a heavy price.’
He turned on her angrily. ‘She was my wife! She had no right to bed another man, much less to bear his child.’
‘Perhaps not. But you went with other women, and you’re still alive and here. What gives you the right to judge her so harshly?’
‘You — you would sympathize with her!’ And how many lovers have you had?’ An angry glare accused her of complicity with the dead Melanna. ‘Is that why you defend her?’
‘My actions are no concern of yours,’ she retorted. ‘You think you can do whatever you want, and not worry about the consequences because you don’t bear children. Did you never think about Melanna? Did you never think she might have feelings of her own? Or do you believe that only what you feel is real?’
‘How can any man trust a woman to bear his sons, and be sure they’re his, unless he makes her faithful?’ Mallory was looking at her as if he hated her, and her head began to pound, uncomfortably, from the strain of so much emotion.
‘Is that how you see us? As nothing more than vehicles for bearing your children, not even leaving us our own?’ His attitude saddened her, and she said wistfully: ‘Don’t you think women might want more than to be wives and mothers? We have our dreams, too, just as you do. When I was a little girl, I wanted to run away to sea, and visit all the lands of the Dominion.’
The admission forced a smile from him. ‘Did you?’
‘For years. I think I would still like to travel the seas. I was going to be a cabin boy.’ She read in his expression the dawning of reluctant recognition of her frustrated ambitions. Feeling better, she went on: ‘And I bet you don’t know what Callith wanted to do!’
‘What was that?’
‘She was going to be a doctor.’ Mallory let out a shout of laughter, as she had meant him to. ‘She was going to come to the medical school here.’
‘Oh, that’s priceless!’ He had to mop his eyes.
‘Do you remember the time I fell out of that apple tree, and hurt my leg? Callith bound it up so tightly it went numb, and I thought I’d be crippled for life!’
‘Oh, I do.’ He was caught up in the sudden mood of reminiscence. ‘And when I had the fever one summer, and she tried to bathe my forehead with some concoction she’d invented — the one that smelled of bad eggs! I wished I could die.’
‘Think what the world has missed.’ Asher laughed. Mallory shuddered theatrically, suddenly the man she knew, no longer the enemy. The pounding in her head diminished as she relaxed.
‘A narrow escape.’ He sobered quickly. ‘Let’s not argue, Ash.’
‘I don’t want to.’ She sat back, looking out through the trees; all she could see was more of the tall pines, and, further out, the sea, the sun glinting on its seemingly unruffled surface. Venture, below, wa
s barely visible through the greenery and the branches. ‘Will you miss the sea?’
‘Yes.’ That he said no more told her she had touched a raw nerve. ‘Ash, I’m not trying to change the subject, but we should be talking about the Oracle.’
‘I know.’ She had almost forgotten it in the course of their discussion, and did not relish the reminder.
‘Don’t look like that!’ He hesitated. ‘I know you always said you didn’t believe in divination or the Oracle, but this is different. You’re not a child now, to refuse to believe whatever you don’t like. Even you must admit it to be more than coincidence that you and I should meet again, here, in front of the Oracle, and that it should have summoned us both.’
‘Perhaps.’ But it was what she herself thought.
‘It’s strange that we should be so fated, that we should both be searching for Vallis.’
‘So is half of Darrian,’ Asher observed tartly.
‘Why are you looking for her?’
She looked at him sharply, but there was only curiosity in his expression. ‘For the same reason as you, I imagine. I and some friends want to find her.’
‘Friends? What friends?’ He was frowning again ‘Are you mixed up in some resistance group?’
‘Not exactly.’ She paused, uncertain how much she ought to tell him. ‘Just some women friends.’
‘Are you trying to tell me you’re part of a political group?’ He was still smiling, but there was an edge to his voice.
‘Not really, although you might say we were political. It’s just a group of us who try to help others in trouble.’ His expression irritated her. ‘The Council of Venture has always put women to one side, as if our problems were in some way separate from the real world — a man’s real world. So we women act for ourselves.’
‘Doing what, precisely?’
‘We offer help — financial, legal or practical — to women; even slave-women. You’ll see how much hardship there is in Venture, especially for mothers of small children with no one to turn to. The Council makes no provision for them because their financial contribution to the city is small — or that’s the excuse,’ she added coolly. ‘We even offer a refuge to people like myself, whom the law would force back to fathers or husbands, or even mothers, who can represent a greater danger to our safety than a walk in even the worst part of the city.’
‘Breaking the law is foolish for someone in your position,’ he said stiffly. ‘I hardly think these seem suitable friends for you.’
‘I have a responsibility to them, Mallory. These people helped me when I needed them, when Varah sent me here to them. If I can repay them in any way, I must. You should be able to see that.’
‘And how does this lead you here, to a search for Vallis?’
‘If it comforts you, I didn’t want to come to the Oracle at all.’ Remembering Margit’s coercion still stung. ‘But I gave my word I would, and ask about the missing girl.’
‘But why? You haven’t explained.’
She looked at him. ‘Nor have you. If I tell you, it’s as a friend, not as city councillor. Agreed?’
‘Certainly.’
‘It’s in our interest, even more than yours, for Vallis to be found, for the financial hardship of the tribute falls most heavily on us; slave labour keeps wages very low for menial or domestic work.’ Mallory nodded. ‘But all we knew until now is what everyone else knows, that someone came and took Vallis away from the palace in Fate when she was only a child, a tall, fair man who was not a Kamir.’
He was not impressed. ‘But why consult the Oracle now?’
‘Because we had a new lead recently. Listen, this mustn’t go further.’ She was worried about the ethics of her proposed disclosure, for while he might accept a women’s small self-help group, he might be more agitated about some of their other activities.
‘It won’t.’
He had never given her cause to doubt his word. Reluctantly, she made up her mind. ‘One of our group has just come back from Saffra, and she brought news from a woman who escaped from the internment camp near Chance.’
‘Saffra?’ Mallory interrupted. ‘What was your friend doing there?’
Asher cleared her throat. ‘Escorting two escaped slaves; it’s something we all agreed we must do, when possible. We’ve an underground network between there and here to hide them on the journey, all tried and trusted.’
‘You must be mad!’ He was staring at her in disbelief. ‘What if you’re caught?’
‘We’ve access to travel passes and other papers. How do you think I got mine? I could hardly use my real ones, since they give me out as married and living near Chance. Mine’re very good forgeries, describing me as a native of Venture.’ Seeing him about to interrupt again, she hurried on, ‘We’re very careful, I assure you. It’s a difficult trip, but the Saff welcome all the slaves who dare make the journey. You know how deeply they abominate slavery. My friend brought back news of a girl in the internment camp, a girl who was obviously important in some way, and we decided we should find out if it could be Vallis.’
‘You can’t do this!’ Mallory was not to be distracted from his primary goal. ‘It’s simply too dangerous. I won’t let you — ’
‘Mallory,’ Asher interrupted him, ‘how many times do I have to say this? What I do is none of your business. I’m only telling you all this because of the Oracle, and because I think it’s relevant.’
He caught her wrist. ‘You are not to go on, is that clear? You are my responsibility, just as much as Callith, or Kelham’s widow and children!’ He was, she saw, perfectly serious. ‘I can’t stand back and see you risk your life, not even for a good cause. If I have to knock you on the head and send you down to Kepesake, I’ll do it, if you don’t see sense and give me your word to do as I say!’
It was the final straw. Asher snatched her hand away, too angry to consider what she was doing or saying, wanting only to force him to understand. In her mind, Mallory’s demands and her fear that the Oracle was real merged together, both forces trying to destroy her control over her own life, reducing her to nothing.
‘Listen to me! Just this once,’ she said tightly. ‘I am a grown woman, perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I have made a life here for myself that I consider worth the having, and where I can be useful, and where I have my own responsibilities which are nothing to do with you. I know the risks of what I do and am willing to take them. I know you are only trying to save me from myself,’ she delivered the phrase with the utmost contempt, ‘but you’re going to have to accept that these are choices I make for myself. What would you say if I told you your life was not your own responsibility, not yours to risk? No one has the right to tell me what to do! And if you won’t accept that, then I’ll leave, now, and never see you again.’
‘Asher — ’
She did not hear whatever he said, increasingly conscious of an intense pressure building inside her head; she felt dizzy and sick, as if she were going to faint. She put a hand to her forehead, trying to ease the ache between her temples.
‘What is it? What’s wrong?’ Mallory was hovering over her, only concern registering in his voice.
‘I feel very strange.’ But the roaring was relaxing its hold a little, and her vision began to clear. ‘No. It’s all right. I feel better now.’
‘I should take you back to the city.’
She shook her head, then regretted it. ‘No. Let’s finish what we were talking about.’
‘All right, you do look better.’ He surveyed her critically. ‘As to what you were saying: I won’t accept I have no responsibility for you. However,’ he went on, before she could protest, ‘I agree with some of what you said. My reaction came from concern for your safety; but you’re right, in that the choice must be yours — though that doesn’t mean I won’t try to persuade you to change your mind. Is that fair?’
Asher felt a rush of exhilaration. ‘Yes, more than fair.’ It was more than any other man in his position would ha
ve conceded. ‘You always were a tyrant!’
‘Only when necessary.’ He shrugged, the subject apparently closed. ‘So, you think this girl in the camp might be Vallis. What was it the Oracle said — “wings bound and flightless”? That would fit with some sort of imprisonment.’
‘But I didn’t understand the rest. It sounded as if she didn’t know who she was: “layered in forgetfulness”.’
‘It’s possible. She was only five when she disappeared.’ Mallory considered the question. ‘Yes, it’s quite possible.’
‘But who would have put her in the camp?’
‘I’ve no idea. The person might be dead by now. It would be a safe hiding place, of course.’ His expression lightened. ‘Don’t you see, Asher? The Oracle said you could discover where Vallis was held, and you have. “Within your compass lies the means to pierce the veil.” And you were to tell me. That’s what the Oracle meant, that I wouldn’t find her unless you helped me.’
‘That doesn’t explain it all.’ His instant assumption of the major role in the search grated on her. ‘I’m sure you’d like to believe that, but what about the rest: “Mark what may from what must be, in what was lies what will be”?’
‘I don’t know.’ He was not taking her quite seriously. ‘I intended to go down to Kepesake in a week or so, in any case. I’ll find a way to take a look at this girl while I’m there.’
‘I’m coming with you.’
His reaction was automatic. ‘It’s too dangerous.’
‘I can disguise myself from Lewes but the Oracle said this search involved us both,’ she reminded him. ‘If you go alone, you might not succeed.’
‘It’s impossible!’
‘You can’t stop me.’
He smiled unpleasantly. ‘I can try!’
‘Think about it, Mallory. You want to believe all I had to do was tell you of this girl’s existence, but what if you’re wrong? If I come with you, it can’t harm her. But if I don’t, something may happen to prevent your finding her. That’s the risk, and I don’t think it’s yours to take.’
‘You always had to be right.’ He let out a long breath. ‘Very well, Ash. You can come.’
