by Gail Sattler
Or he could read the contents himself, then interrupt Miranda if it was warranted, and something in his heart told him it would be.
He turned and sank down to sit on the landing with his feet resting on the top step, instead of going inside. The worn wood of the structure still radiated accumulated heat from the hot Indian summer day, making the step almost uncomfortably hot to sit on. He needed to be by himself, where it was quiet, which wouldn't happen if he went into the hub of activity inside. He needed to pray for wisdom and discernment concerning the contents of this letter. With his free hand, he removed his hat and rested it on his knee. Ted inhaled deeply to clear his mind, closed his eyes, and bowed his head to beseech his Heavenly Father.
The click of the door lock being engaged from the inside broke through his concentration. The creak and whoosh of the door starting to open gave him barely enough time to snatch his hat and jump up. The solid wood door brushed his back as he rose.
"Ted? What are you doing? Did you find them?"
He swayed for a second while he regained his balance halfway down the steps. Miranda stood in the open doorway, alone, her eyes wide, watching him as he barely prevented himself from falling.
He held up the envelope with one hand as he returned his hat to his head with the other. "I did not find Theresa or Evan.I found this instead. I fear we have a problem."
22
Miranda stared at Ted, two steps down, clutching a white envelope in his hand.
"What is that?"
"It is a letter I found tucked behind the locking pin. It appears we were meant to find it when the practice was over and we closed up the building. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be practicing with everyone?"
"I gave everyone a water break. I thought I heard your car, but you didn't come in, so I came to see if you had a problem."
"If you heard the car, then there is a problem—that I need a new muffler."
Miranda didn't know what to say. This didn't seem like the time to make a joke.
As Miranda had spent so much time in Ted's office over the past few months, she had learned something about him.Ted spent a lot of time on the phone. She often heard him use obscure changes of subject when he was dealing with his business clients. He was a powerful negotiator because people commonly underestimated him with his old-world accent and ways, and he used it to his advantage—something she'd also learned the hard way until she figured it out.
He was stalling. That meant he hadn't made up his mind yet on his best course of action with the letter. Therefore, she had to un-stall him.
"I only have a few minutes before everyone will start coming back. When they do, they're going to see us talking and know something's up."
"I do not think we have time to read this now. We should wait until everyone is gone. By leaving it this way, I think they wanted us to read it in private."
She looked him straight in the eye. "You're probably right.But this is going to bug me all during the rest of the practice time. Quick, I think we need to pray."
Instinctively, she moved forward as she would have done at home in a similar situation. She walked down one step, reached out, grasped Ted's hands, and looked at him. As she stood one step up from him, they were exactly eye to eye.
"Wha . . . what are you doing?" he stammered.
"Where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. There's trouble here, so just like God's word says to do, we're gathering. We're also running out of time. Let's pray."
Miranda started to bow her head, but she hadn't figured on being so close to Ted because of the way they were standing on the stairs. When they both bowed their heads at the same time their foreheads touched. The thought flashed through Miranda's mind that even though they were only praying, with their faces hidden beneath the brim of Ted's hat, anyone watching would get the wrong idea of what they were doing on the church steps.
Miranda chided herself. No one was there to observe.Everyone was in the kitchen.
Miranda forced herself to focus. "Heavenly Father, I don't know where Theresa and Evan are, but both Ted and I are worried about them. I pray for their safety for whatever they are doing, and that you'll give us peace as we finish off the practice and read the letter later, according to their wishes. I pray we will both be faithful servants as we work together to get this project done for You, for Your ministry to call more of Your children into Your kingdom. When the practice is done, please guide our hearts so we can help Theresa and Evan and guide them in whatever their problem is and why they aren't here with us today."
The echo of people returning to the practice area sounded behind them. Ted flinched, and instead of adding to her prayer, he sighed and said, "amen."
She squeezed his hands, then released them and backed up, nearly stumbling as she stepped backward to the top step.In the silence before he'd said, "amen," a thought of what she could have done hidden beneath the brim of his hat had run through her mind. It had absolutely nothing to do with prayer.She would have to say an entirely different prayer about that later.
Ted stared at her, his eyes narrowed. "Do not ever do that again," he hissed. He rammed the envelope into his back pocket, then stomped up the stairs around her and strode into the sanctuary where he picked up his guitar and flipped through the pages to the song they had been doing when he arrived.
Miranda sucked in a deep breath and returned to the piano.As soon as she was facing the piano and her back was toward all present, she heard a little giggle behind her. She peeked over her shoulder to see a few of the ladies separating. To her left, a couple of the men nudged each other with their elbows, and grinned at Ted as he concentrated on tuning his guitar.
Miranda squeezed her eyes shut, pressed her lips together, and pounded out the first chord of the song after what was supposed to be Theresa's solo. Next time she would coach them on how much to lower their volume to hum along with Theresa, but for now, they had to move on.
"Okay, everyone, let's get back to work. The pickup to bar forty-eight. Here we go."
As Miranda played through the song, she found herself getting distracted by the envelope sticking out of Ted's pocket.Part of her willed it to fall out so she could jump up and grab it, then excuse herself to run to the ladies' room and read it. But God had other plans because it stayed firmly in Ted's pocket.
She dismissed the practice a few minutes early and tried not to look as if she was giving these good people the bum's rush, as she encouraged them to leave as quickly as she could without pushing them out the door.
When the last person finally left, she turned around to see Ted hunkered down, securing the pin lock on the left door."Come, let us go."
"Go? Aren't we going to read Theresa and Evan's letter?"
He rose, picked up his guitar, and held the right side door open. "Ja, but not here."
She didn't question him, since he appeared adamant about leaving. She followed him to his car, where he opened the passenger side door and held it for her while she got inside.However, he didn't close the door when she got herself settled.He left it wide open and walked around to the driver's side, opened his own door, tucked the guitar behind the seats, and took his place at the steering wheel, also leaving his door wide open.
"I am doing this so the car will cool down after such a hot day. We can read the letter here."
Ted leaned to one side to pull the letter out of his back pocket. Holding it over the top of the steering wheel, he ripped the envelope open.
He cleared his throat and began reading.
Dear Ted and Miranda,
We're so sorry to give you the news this way, but we had no choice. Theresa and I can no longer be in the play for our church, and I have to quit my job with you, Ted, because we have moved away. Our parents do not yet know and we ask that you tell them because they respect both of you very much.
We have left Piney Meadows because we are not yet married and we are going to have a baby. Instead of embarrassing our families with this situa
tion, we have decided to move to the city, where we will take care of ourselves.
I have already found a job and we have a place to live, so do not worry. We will be fine.
God bless you,
Evan and Theresa
Miranda gasped. "Theresa is pregnant?"
"Offya fallen Mennoneet," Ted mumbled, staring at the handwriting.
Miranda cringed at his harsh tone. "What?"
Ted turned away. "It is an expression."
"I figured that out already, thank you very much. What does it mean?"
He turned to face her. "It literally means this is a Mennonite who has fallen off the wagon."
"Fallen off the wagon?" Miranda's hands rolled into fists.
"Let those who have never sinned cast the first stone," she retorted, not caring about the sharpness in her own voice.
"I am not casting a stone. They admit they have sinned, and they have chosen to run and hide."
The memory of girls who had become pregnant during the time she was in high school flashed through her mind.Nothing had changed with unplanned pregnancies, except that it seemed to be happening more often as time went on.Theresa was much older than the teen girls in her high school, but less wise in the ways of the world. While Miranda was in high school, most girls who became pregnant when they were too young and unprepared had abortions. Two had given up their babies for adoption. Only one had kept the baby, but then she ran away from home when she found out how much work it was to raise a child, abandoning the baby with her parents. Instead of being able to build toward their pending retirement, the baby's grandparents had ended up struggling with another mouth to feed.
But this was not the same situation. Theresa and Evan were obviously together and staying together.
"I don't understand why they ran away. Why wouldn't they stay here, where family and friends can help them?" She glared at Ted. "This community wouldn't shun them, would they?"
Ted crossed his arms over his chest with the letter dangling from his fingers. "We do not do shunning. We care for our brothers and sisters in Christ."
Miranda's chest tightened at the memory of some people back home who were supposed to care. She tried to shake the thoughts away, but they bombarded her anyway.
"For some reason, Theresa and Evan don't feel the same way." Her throat tightened. "I can understand why a single girl who is pregnant might want to run away, but the letter sounds like they plan to get married. Certainly that would make a difference."
Ted turned his head and looked out the open car door as he spoke. "I know people would help them, but Theresa's papa is very strict. I do not like to say this, but while I am positive the church would help them, I fear her parents would not. I fear her papa would banish her from their family."
Her head swam. "That's awful," she choked out. "My dad was my biggest supporter."
Ted's head moved so fast his hat nearly flew off his head. He grabbed the brim to steady it. "You have had a baby?"
Her eyes burned with the memory of everything that had happened. "No. I never had a baby. The issue was about me being pregnant." Her chest constricted, and she started to choke up as she struggled to push back all the memories.
His eyes softened, and he swallowed hard. He pulled off his hat and pressed it to his chest. "You lost a baby . . . I am so sorry."
Miranda shook her head. "No. That wasn't it. I was never pregnant. Without going into a bunch of embarrassing details, it was a girl thing, and it ended up being just a hormone problem.But between the symptoms and all the medical stuff, it caused a lot of . . ." Her voice cracked. She let her voice trail off until she could regain control of herself. ". . . issues."
Ted didn't speak, nor did he move. He simply sat, waiting, being a good listener.
She swallowed hard, fighting the burning in the back of her eyes. "I haven't ever been able to talk about this. Everyone knew everyone else, so I couldn't say anything to anyone except Bradley. I know I said some things that weren't kind, but Bradley was always safe to talk to. I couldn't talk too much to my dad because he's the pastor and knows everyone. Dad was already so angry on my behalf. That's probably why I'm so close to Bradley. He stuck up for me so much that everyone thought he was the father." She fought against the burning in her eyes. Over the years she had already shed too many tears over it. She refused to ever cry about it again.
"What happened?" Ted asked softly, still not moving.
"When I was in my last year of college, my period stopped."
At the word "period" Ted's cheeks and ears turned red, but like a gentleman, he sat still and continued to listen. "My mother had died of cancer at an early age, so I was pretty worried.My father sent me straight to the doctor, and the first test they did was a pregnancy test, even though I told the doctor there was no way I was pregnant. But since those doctors hear that all the time, they did it anyway, plus a bunch of other tests.I told some friends about it, but one of them wasn't as trustworthy as I thought, and word spread that I'd had a pregnancy test. I was feeling really sick and run-down, so then many of the ladies started talking about me in the same conversation as how they felt when they were first pregnant."
Ted squeezed his eyes shut for a second. "And with all the talk, people assumed the wrong thing . . ."
"Yes. It turned out to be a hormone problem aggravated by me being too active and too skinny and not eating properly. My doctor got it under control with a short-term hormone treatment, but he also put me on a strict diet loaded up with lots of vitamins. I immediately gained some weight, and everyone noticed every pound. For four months I could feel every eye on me, waiting for me to completely balloon out, even though I repeatedly told everyone that I wasn't pregnant."
"That must have been terrible."
"That's not even the worst of it. I gained a pants size, and then when I didn't expand any more, one woman started telling everyone that I'd had an abortion. With me being the pastor's daughter, you can imagine the impact that had. From the pulpit without naming names, my father made a big issue of everything people did. The backlash was unbelievable.Many people repented, but many left. It was awful."
Ted put his hat back on his head, reached toward her to hold one hand, and motioned with his head toward the wide-open car door. "I always do my best to avoid reason for gossip."
She smiled weakly, thinking of how often Brian found himself tagging along with them, and then more recently, Brian and Sarah. Today, Ted had been very obvious about not being alone in an empty building with her. Again, she found herself in the car for the purpose of having an important conversation.She had become very familiar with Ted's car.
This time, with both front doors wide open, a nice breeze wafted through. She didn't mind sitting in Ted's car, except he didn't have a CD player.
"I've learned the hard way that while most of our people are good, all it takes is one to start the poison flowing, and nothing you do will stop it," Miranda said. "If they're going to talk, they'll talk. I do my best to follow the narrow path that God has set out for me, and that's all I care about. As long as I'm right with God, that's all that matters. So you're wasting your time and energy making sure we're never alone in an otherwise unpopulated building. Unless you think I'm going to jump up and attack you."
His eyes widened, and his grip on her hand tightened slightly. He licked his lips, and his voice lowered to a tone that for anyone else besides Ted, she would have called seductive."Would you?"
All thought processes stopped. Ted never watched vampire flicks— he didn't even have a television. So he could only be referring to what she had almost done earlier that evening when they had finished praying together on the church steps.Which she thought about doing constantly after the way he'd said good-bye at the airport. Which was why she hadn't baked cinnamon buns since then. If she did . . .
Miranda cleared her throat and tried to smile, but she knew it probably looked as lame as it felt. "Don't be ridiculous," she mumbled, then yanked her hand out of his. "There
sa and Evan need to have God's people with them to hold them up. I know what it's like to be tried, judged, found guilty, and convicted, so I'm not going to let them go through this alone. I don't care if anyone starts talking about me and saying I'm encouraging them to sin. I can't leave them like this—they need a friend.Besides, I'll be gone soon, so it doesn't matter what anyone says. I don't know how, but I've got to find them."
Ted started to lean forward, but he suddenly stopped, blinked, and his face tightened. He sat back, straightening himself in his seat until he was positioned firmly behind the steering wheel. He grasped it tightly with his right hand, then leaned to the left to grab the door handle of the wide-open door, pulling it closed. "I am not sure if this will work, but I have an idea. Close your door. We are going to my office."
23
Ted sighed as he inserted the key in the lock of the church door.
He knew Miranda was inside. Lois had told him so. He ignored the statement she was making with the locked door and entered anyway.
She wasn't hard to find. If the sobbing hadn't given away her location, the echo when she blew her nose pinpointed exactly where she sat. He found her in the sanctuary, sitting in the aisle seat of the front row.
"Goondach, Miranda," he said as he approached her.
She wiped her eyes and then her nose with the back of her arm. "What's good about it?"
"I have found Evan and Theresa. He has given me his address. As you said, one must love e-mail."
She responded with a sound almost like a snort. "That's, 'you gotta love e-mail.' You're amazing. I don't know how you did it."
"Many companies in the cities have policies against using the company computer for personal Internet use. I trust my employees to obey the rules that they may do their personal e-mail on their lunch break. I feel some guilt at looking at his personal e-mail, but the computer is company property, and as his boss, I have every right to do so."
