I hissed in my breath. It had been the same in Victoria’s office, almost like something had gone wrong with my eyes, as though what I saw wasn’t at all real. One second it moved; the next it didn’t.
“First lesson. The shadow creatures are one of the few things which are more dangerous to us in the daytime. All kinds of fucked up, I know. We’re taught—or maybe it’s not even teaching; maybe its basic human evolution to simply instinctually know—we’re more at risk at night. Ghosts bug homeowners during the day; they torment their psyche at night. Demons, forget it. Daytime can seem normal but the second the lights go out? Midnight? Three in the morning is the devil’s hour, right? We know. We stay away. We close our eyes, and if we pray, then we pray to make it till morning. All religions, all cultures. Believers and not. It doesn’t matter.”
I stepped toward the moving swirls. “Makes sense. More light, more shadows.”
He walked next to me. “Exactly. The shadow man who came to you was in a well-lit restaurant, not the black of a bedroom where people were sleeping. And no one knew he was there except you.”
“Well, Levi knew. He saw him for a split second. It was the worst thing I’d ever witnessed. I couldn’t do a thing.”
He stared at my profile, and I didn’t turn to meet his gaze. Shame road me hard. What kind of help was I going to be in any of this if I couldn’t even manage one alone in a restaurant?
“You have been ghost hunting so long you don’t even remember someone taught you to do it. Killing ghosts is muscle memory. You took yourself out of the game, and you still could do it when you needed to. Demons too. Fuck, you fried that asshole. Someone taught you to do this, too. You don’t remember. So I’ll teach you again until you do. This isn’t breaking my oath—or if it is, then it’s for a good reason. I’m going to keep you alive.”
I touched his arm. “What killed Chase’s sister?”
“Mary Joan died at the hand of a demon, not a shadow monster. They can’t touch us. Not those of us who trained. They will eventually be able to lay hands on us. For now, it’s the Levis of the world they can screw with.”
Mary-Joan …the name seemed so familiar but then of course it would. “I wish I could remember her. Seems so unfair. She’s dead. I’ll never know her.”
“You will.” He pointed at the shadow. “Get rid of it.”
I pointed my finger at the shadows and nothing happened. “My powers aren’t recognizing the shadows. My abilities respond to the ghosts, to the demons. I can’t simply summon them up.”
“Sure you can. In this case, you take the power from somewhere else. From the light.” Malcolm pointed to the light in the corner of the room. “The very thing they need to exist can kill them when we touch it.” With a flick of his wrist, Malcolm moved the light in the room. A glow moved from the lightbulb to the floor where the shadows danced. A loud pop cracked in the room, and suddenly the shadows in the corner stilled. “Bye. Bye.”
Where movement had been, now there was none. I took a deep breath. “That easy?”
He pointed to the other corner. “Go ahead and make that one leave.”
I walked in front of the desk and stared down. I could make out of the windowpane on the ground, the way it looked different, because it was a shadow. The entity moved slowly. I pointed to the light above my head and then down at the shadow. I waited. My body remained the same; no energy moved through me. The shadow didn’t stop moving.
Nothing happened at all …
“Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Malcolm spoke over my shoulder, his breath warm on my cheek.
I closed my eyes. “You don’t seem surprised I can’t do it.”
He rubbed his hand up and down my back, massaging between my shoulder blades. “It’s not easy. There’s one more thing.” I turned around to look at him. “You have to get stronger. When the strong ones come through, they’ll have the ability to take human bodies. There could be physical fights. You have to be stronger than you are. Can you kick ass as you are?”
I took a deep breath. He’d given me another reason to join the gym. His close vicinity threw my equilibrium out. The bed had been cozy; his strong body pressed so close to mine had made me hot. I wanted him, and I wouldn’t let myself have him. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.
“What are they? Demons?” I stepped away from his touch before I did something stupid like ask him to take off my clothes and do me on the floor. I physically ached for him, and I hadn’t even known such a thing was possible.
“If they were demons, you’d be able to fight them. Ever see one of those movies where someone bad dies and they get sucked into the ground, picked up by shadows?”
I’d seen it a couple of times, actually. The imagery worked very effectively. Don’t do bad things, or you’ll go down instead of up. “So they’re people?”
“At one time. They were people. They want to be again.” He cracked his knuckles, and I winced at the sound.
My heart rate kicked up. “How did they get out of wherever they were?”
“How does anything? How do the demons get here? How did we get out and then back again? Portals exist.” He stepped toward me. “Come on, I’m going to take you home.”
“Malcolm, when I remember everything, will I finally understand how this all happened? Who took us? How it was even possible? Where most people go when their souls aren’t hijacked to do this kind of thing?” I spoke way too fast. I could feel it. Maybe it was the leftover drunk from the clearing. Maybe it was Malcolm being so close to me. Or maybe I’d finally had enough.
“You will, and then maybe you can explain to me why you would have done this in the first place and not told me so that we could live in blissful ignorance together. Or if you were just done with me.”
I couldn’t imagine that would be the case. Had I not understood how precious a thing true devotion was?
****
Weeks turned into months and nothing much happened.
“Still nothing?” Malcolm chewed on an apple while I tried to move a shadow. It was like they were immune to me. I could not work up any energy to kill the movement at all.
“You’re sure I used to be able to do this?” My arm actually ached from my work out that morning and from the constant pointing and stopping from the light to the shadow.
“Yep.” He walked past me to the kitchen, giving me plenty of opportunity to stare at his ass. How did he keep it that firm? What would it feel like if I just reached out to squeeze it? I pulled out my phone to text Victoria.
I think I’m an ass girl.
Yeah … well aren’t we all? Her reply was fast. And Malcolm has a good one but not as nice as Henry’s.
I had never, ever stared at Victoria’s husband’s bottom, and I would never know. I stiffened my spine. Why had she been looking at Malcolm’s? Jealousy didn’t make the shadows disappear.
The next night, Levi sat at my table eating cereal. Across from him, I folded laundry. I couldn’t remember what excuse he’d made to come over—some days he simply showed up with no reason given.
“I was thinking we could go out to dinner tomorrow night?”
I snorted. “Yeah? Because that worked out so well the last time we tried it.”
“Hey.” He touched my hand. “We’ve had lots of dinners together that didn’t end in shadow men. And what is with your attitude lately? You’re sarcastic all the time. At least with me. Not the kids. Have I done something to make you upset?”
Had he? I sat back in my chair. I wasn’t angry with Levi, not in the least. However, until I could either control the shadows or remember anything else, he was another person I couldn’t protect. “I’m not angry. Sorry for the sarcasm. Things are changing for me, or at least I wish they were. I’m not the same woman I was when we were married, the one who expected you to stand up as a wall between me and ridicule. I’m harder.” I realized as I spoke that the words I used were truth. “This version of me is sometimes going to be sarcastic about ridiculous ideas. No, I
don’t think we should have a dinner date.”
“Someday I’m going to get to be that guy and show you I can be. You can trust me. I swear you can. And I love you, all the versions of you.”
I leaned forward. “I’m not sure why anyone loves me. I’ve told you. I’m always going to love you. I’m a nervous wreck, and I am in the middle of something I can’t handle. Don’t ask me for anything right now. That’s how you can love me.”
He sat back. “I can do that. As long as you understand I’m not going anywhere.”
During one of my kickboxing classes, it’d dawned on me that I hadn’t seen much action in a long time. The status quo seemed to work out pretty well for me. Levi and I were back on routine with the kids, and he showed up regularly to eat with us. My parents hadn’t left and showed no sign of wanting to do so. I’d almost gotten used to their constant presence.
Malcolm had a job for me every night, and if the kids didn’t have a school function or an extracurricular activity, I took the work. The Cascades hadn’t ceased. There was never just one ghost. The drunk feeling disappeared a lot sooner than it used to. When I wasn’t working for Malcolm, I trained with him, not that it seemed to matter. I still couldn’t clear what he referred to as a baby shadow.
Chase had started texting me. He was looking into my situation, where I had been for three years, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him he should stop. He might then ask why, and I couldn’t tell him, not if he wasn’t going to remember on his own. Not one more recollection had occurred. Victoria was getting bigger. She kept inviting me to her parties that she and Henry threw, but I was never in the mood. My best friend thought celebration constituted a must for a happy life. I had news for her. Soon, she’d be glad to just have three hours of sleep together. I didn’t want to party; I wanted to remember.
My father stood in my backyard staring at the fence again. He’d taken to doing so every night, and my mother had no explanation for why. Coming back from the gym, I grabbed a protein bar and walked outside to join him.
“What do you do out here? What do you see on my fence?”
He turned his gaze to look at me, and I stopped breathing. For just a second, I could have sworn someone else regarded me from my father’s eyes. Startling as it was, I got no sense of demon from him. He wasn’t possessed. I put my hand on his arm to make sure, and my powers never rose to the surface.
“Dad?”
He smiled at me, his eyes fully my father’s. “What did you need, sweetie? Everything okay?”
Maybe I had finally cracked up. I took a step back from him. “Yeah. Sure. Just checking on you. Dinner will be ready soon.”
Was it possible to take a vacation from this life? To go to the Caribbean and pretend I didn’t have to rid the world of dark beings? I’d have to ask my broker when we took a break.
I landed a good kick square in Malcolm’s chest, and he hit the floor hard, groaning as he went down. “You’re getting good at that.”
“You told me to get strong.” I walked over to him and extended my hand, which he swatted away before he stood.
“Leave a man some dignity.”
I raised an eyebrow. “That would imply you ever had some.”
He shook his head, walking over for some water. “Bitch.”
I grinned, crossing his living room to the window. We fought all the time. Name-calling. Arguing. Loud voices. We also laughed all the time. I pulled my sweatshirt over my head. Kicking ass was sweaty work. My black tank underneath clung to me, and I didn’t try to loosen it off my skin. I liked how he watched me. Hell, I more than liked it. I craved the way his eyes followed me around the room.
“That’s not nice, you wearing that.” He pointed at me. “That’s distracting.”
“You like this?” I stepped toward him. “Victoria sold it to me.”
He leaned against his desk. “You’re the definition of sexy in that thing.”
Had I known he would like how I looked in it? Of course. I’d have to be stupid not to understand what me in a tank would do to Malcolm. This had become our routine. He looked and I let him.
“I think about you at night.” He took a pull from his water bottle. Well, this was new ground altogether. Where was he going with this?
I raised my eyebrows. “How concerned do I need to be with your confession? Are we about to have a conversation about you, your left hand, and your male parts?”
He snorted, nearly doubling over with laughter that seemed to overtake him. “Fuck. No, I mean. We can talk about that if you want to. If that gets you off, I’ll describe it in detail. I was going to say I lie in the bed and I think about what you’re doing. I wonder if you’re lying there thinking about me.”
“I …” Of course I did. I lay in bed, and I imagined him in all kinds of circumstances, some of them PG, some of them not. I took a step back and managed, somehow, to trip over my own feet. I couldn’t have recreated the move if I’d tried. One second I stood still, and the next I landed flat on my ass on the floor. A second later, he stood over me, staring down at me with his mouth hanging open.
“Um.” He put his hands on his hips. “You okay?”
That was the last thing he could say before he cracked up laughing. I sat, still stunned, and stared up at him while he cracked himself up over my klutzy landing on the ground. My ass stung and so did my pride.
“Asshole. I could have hurt myself.” I pulled myself up and rubbed my backside.
“The day you hurt yourself slipping onto the floor is the day you should stay away from all things paranormal.”
I threw my hands in the air. “Maybe that’s true in general. I’m not very good at this.”
“No, you’re not.” He charged at me, and I was so startled by the movement, I backed up until I bumped the desk. My ass, which already hurt, burned on impact. His mouth met mine with an intensity I could only think of as fury. I closed my eyes, deciding nothing existed for that one moment outside of Malcolm and me.
He dominated our kiss, pressing against me until I opened my mouth to let him in. His tongue danced with mine. Malcolm moaned against me, pulling me even tighter against him until he could get his body between my legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on. My breasts ached, and I sucked on his lower lip.
Malcolm pulled back, breathing hard. “Tell me to stop. Tell me you don’t want this. Say something to make me go away.”
I ran my hand down the side of his face, feeling the stubble there. “Do you always talk during sex?”
He pressed his forehead to mine, breathing heavily. Finally, he smiled before he kissed me lightly on the lips. “No.”
His kisses slowed. The intensity hadn’t faded, but the rush slowed. This was going to happen. His hand travelled from the side of my face down to my breasts, feeling them from the outside of my tank. With each kiss he made the slightest noise, somewhere between a moan and a gasp. I could feel how much he wanted me pressed against my stomach, and I reveled in the feeling.
This was probably a mistake. But I needed it.
My phone dinged and then rang. I groaned and Malcolm pulled me tighter, kissing me hard. “Ignore it.”
I hissed my breath, forcing my mouth from his. “I have to see who it is. I have to.”
He closed his eyes, pain crossing his features. Malcolm yanked my phone from my pocket and handed it to me. “If it’s Levi wanting to say goodnight, I’m going to break his nose.”
I rolled my eyes. It was Levi calling, but despite Malcolm’s groaning, he didn’t call me when I was working, which is what he thought I was doing right now. Unless he had some kind of sixth sense about me kissing someone else, he needed my attention.
“Hello?” I tried to keep my voice steady. Malcolm didn’t move, didn’t storm away, but staunchly, it seemed to me, stayed between my legs like he could give himself some sort of ownership of me while I talked to my still-in-my-life ex.
“Kendall, thank God. We need you.” He sounded frantic like I’d never hea
rd before.
I gripped the phone harder. “Levi. Talk to me. What’s wrong?” I met Malcolm’s gaze. He didn’t look annoyed anymore, his head tilted to the side as though he waited for me to give him a verbal cue about what was going on.
“Your mom said to call you.” His voice stuttered.
“Is it Dex?” I hopped off the desk. “Did he have a seizure?” I’d heard of such things happening during a vision. I’d never seen it, but it was one of the possibilities that made me want to throw up when I thought about it.
“It’s Grayson. He’s speaking in tongues.”
Chapter Eighteen
I handed Malcolm my car keys as we booked it outside to my car. I couldn’t drive, and he seemed to understand without me having to tell him. Levi had brought Grayson home to my house so my mother could examine him. I was glad they were all together, a small modicum of ease in an otherwise disaster of a situation.
We’d driven in silence for five minutes until we’d hopped onto 35 North heading to 183 North, and eventually we’d reach my house. Things were going to take as long as they were going to take. I had to breathe. I had to believe he’d be safe until I got there.
“Tongues.” I couldn’t keep quiet anymore. “That’s demon right? There’s nothing else that makes people speak in tongues, right?”
He looked at me through the side of his eye. “You know as well as I do what it usually means. But don’t jump the gun. There are any number of possibilities for non-possession reasons. Talk to me. We’ll treat this like a client.”
I gripped the side of the car so hard my knuckles turned white. “This isn’t a client. This is my kid.”
“Ya Hayati, I am not making light of this. He’s not my kid. Let me think it through like I would do for anyone else. This is how I get ready. Which child is this? Remind me.”
I had to forcibly stop my jaw from clenching. I’d never really understood true terror. Even what I could remember about my own death didn’t inspire this kind of fear. Grayson had to be okay. “When you speak to me in Arabic, what do you say?”
Haunted Redemption Page 20
