The only women interspersed with the men are holding onto their men’s arms and looking bored out of their mind. Arm candy I’m sure. I look down at my arm around Saxon’s as he rests his hand on top of mine and I frown. Is that what I am here for? Arm candy? The thought makes my stomach turn and my head light.
Patting Saxon’s hand gently, letting him know I’m making an exit, I pull my arm from his and turn to make my way to the balcony. I need some air.
I hear concern in Saxon’s voice as he calls my name, but I keep walking. What am I doing here?
Upon exiting through the tall glass doors I find a large decked area. There are seating areas consisting of settees and tables scattered all around, separated by potted trees with fairy lights interspersed throughout the leaves.
The only light comes from the fairy lights and the glow of the moon. It’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen, and not the norm for these kind of events.
It’s noticeably quieter out here. The music from inside floats out the doors, as small groups or couples mill around the railing and seating areas, chatting quietly.
Making my way to the railing, I lean on my elbows, looking over to the beautiful parklands below. It’s too late for anyone to be in the park, but the stillness brings a sense of serenity with it.
Thinking back to my introduction with Dennis, I cringe. Is that how it’s always going to be? Am I some kind of joke?
Glancing farther down the railing I notice two older men in suits looking my way. One says something while the other nods. Looking away from them, tears fill my eyes. I’m the talk of the town, apparently. How have I not noticed this at other events?
Tears fall unchecked down my cheeks as I think about all the other business functions and dinners I’ve been to. All the little comments I brushed off, not understanding their meaning. All the looks I got as I entered the restaurants or ballrooms.
I try to remember why I’m doing this. Why I thought doing this meant anything, or even mattered. Maybe Dad was right: maybe I should’ve sold Argo or been a silent owner and had a business manager run it. I’m lost.
After all these months of searching and all the hard work I’ve put in, I’m no closer to knowing where I belong. As good as it felt coming to the company and no matter how much I’ve felt a part of something, a part of a family, maybe Argo isn’t where I belong.
After wiping my cheeks I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I thought I had taken control of my life, taken steps towards the future, but it seems like I’m still at square one.
A warm hand rests on my forearm and I don’t need to open my eyes to know who it is. The distinct smell of his cologne and Saxon are so familiar to me now.
“Brooke,” he whispers. The butterflies alight in my belly, and I slowly open my eyes and turn towards him. My heart aches at the look on his face. Concern and worry crease the corners of his eyelids and he looks older, worn and stressed.
“Don’t you ever get sick of looking after me?” I ask him, watching his gaze carefully for any sign of how he truly feels.
“If looking after you means having you in my life, I don’t think I’ll ever tire of it.” I see nothing but sincerity.
“I don’t belong here, Sax. This is all some kind of joke to everyone. How long have we been the laughing stock of the industry?” I say dejectedly.
“We are not a laughing stock,” he growls. “Trust me, they aren’t laughing every month when our figures are being released.”
“Yeah that’s you though. I am a laughing stock. A joke. What’s the point? You should have it.”
“Have what, Brooke?”
“Argo, you should have Argo.”
“What’s brought this on? Is it because of Dennis? He’s a fucking idiot, Brooke. The old man doesn’t know shit.”
“It’s not just Dennis, it’s everyone in that room, every dinner I attended, every meeting I sat in on. You should have Argo.”
Saxon’s eyes are wide, fear lining his face. “I don’t want it if you’re not there, Brooke.”
“I don’t belong there, Sax. I don’t know where I belong.” I can hear the defeat in my voice and hate that I’m not stronger.
His eyes are narrowed and intense, searching my face. He looks up and glances around before grabbing my hand and walking me away from the railing. We head towards the end of the balcony where he continues walking, pulling me down the side of the building.
It’s even darker down here, and I assume he wants some privacy. We’re strict about keeping our business functions professional and don’t do so much as hug or hold hands.
Saxon pushes me against the wall and steps right into me, our bodies flush, his face only inches from my own. My heart races and I panic, looking around frantic. I’m relieved to see no one could stumble across us down here unless they came looking.
He grabs my chin and pulls my face to his. “How can you not see it?”
“Not see what?” I whisper, unable to look away from his intense gaze.
“You do belong here. Right here, by my side. That’s where you belong, Brooke.” He runs his knuckles down my cheek before leaning in and lightly kissing me. Releasing the deep breath I didn’t realise I was holding, Saxon kisses me again, this time not breaking contact.
His kiss is sweet, gentle, and soothing. He’s trying to comfort me, and it’s working. I return his sweet kiss and wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close like I need him to breathe. And maybe I do.
Saxon returns my desperation as he wraps his arms around my back, pulling me tightly to him as his kiss goes from gentle to demanding. He’s devouring me, and I’m sure he can read my mind and knows how much I need it.
His hand moves from my back to my ribs sitting just under my breast. I push my chest into his, looking for contact. He laughs at me as he slides his hand down my torso, over my hip and down the side of my thigh. It amazes me what his touch can do to me. Whether it’s fast and hard or gentle and slow, he always knows what I need.
He sneaks his hand into the slit of my dress and slowly runs his fingers up my thigh, lifting the dress with it. Goose bumps break out over my skin and a shiver rolls through me as he tickles my skin with his fingers running up the back of my thigh and to my ass.
Lifting my leg slightly to rub myself against him, Saxon quickly squeezes my ass before gripping my thigh and lifting my leg to wrap around his hip. He pushes his hips into me, grinding his hard cock right where I need him. I moan loudly at the sudden contact, loving the effect I have on him. I roll my hips against his. He groans as he pulls away from our kiss and snuggles his face into my neck.
“Shhhhh,” I whisper.
“You’re one to talk.” He laughs.
I laugh at him before pulling his face back towards mine, reigniting our earlier kiss. My tongue searches his mouth wildly before his reaches out to meet it. They tangle and caress as Saxon’s other hand moves down between us, brushing over my centre. I gasp at the contact, and he smiles against my lips.
He begins running his fingers lightly over the silk panties, along my folds, and my hips gyrate towards him trying to create some friction. He stills our kiss, laughing against my mouth, and I glare at him as I pull back. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asks with a mischievous grin.
“Stop teasing me.” Saxon laughs as he continues to torture my body.
Pulling my panties roughly to the side, he thrusts his finger deep inside me. I inhale sharply and pull on his hair. He kisses along my jaw, nibbling and licking down my neck as he pulls his finger out and pushes back in with two fingers. He has me so worked up and so wet there is no resistance as his fingers slide in and out. He begins working me hard and it’s not long before I’m panting and that familiar anticipation is growing. My body chases it, my hips beginning to thrust against his fingers.
“Yeah, baby, that’s it,” Saxon croons into my neck.
He rubs his thumb over my clit, teasing it. “Oh God,” I breathe as my orgasm rolls through me. Saxon wraps his oth
er arm around my waist to hold me tight as my body shakes ferociously against him.
I go limp in his arms as I come down from the mind-blowing high. No matter how many he has given me over the past few months, they never dull in their power or effect. Saxon pulls his fingers out of me, bringing them to his mouth before he sucks on them, one by one.
“Brooke, your pussy… you taste so fucking sweet,” he smiles. “Was there anything else you needed distraction from?” he asks with a shit-eating grin.
“I think I’m good for now, but thanks,” I say dryly.
He chuckles down at me, slowly releasing his hold and placing my feet firmly back on the floor.
“Get yourself together, baby. I want a dance.” He places a light kiss on my forehead before walking down the side of the building. He turns back, “I’ll meet you at the bar.”
He turns the corner as I stare in shock after him. Slumping back against the wall, I appreciate being able to take a minute to get my head straight. What just happened? How do we go from such a serious conversation to fooling around?
It’s so different seeing him at work, so formidable and controlled. After work, when it’s the just the two of us, I see another side of him. He’s strong and confident as well as fiercely loyal to those he loves, which I know is not many. He’s caring and fair. Again, I wonder why he is this way. Why he puts up those walls and that front. What secrets does he hold? What exactly happened with his family?
I’ve never met anyone like Saxon. He’s such an enigma. I don’t know if I’ll ever truly know him, or all of him. He’s so special. I know he has issues, and even though I’m not sure what they are, I know it just makes him even more special.
How long can I be this selfish, keeping him all to myself for a friendship only? He seems happy with the arrangement. We’ve spent the last few months working hard and enjoying each other. We’ve stuck to our rules of no sleepovers and no emotions, enjoying the peace and comfort the other person brings.
Standing upright, I test the strength of my legs as I fix my panties in place and straighten my dress. Giving my hair a quick pat down, I head up the side of the building, deciding I better check myself in a bathroom.
I leave the bathroom after having fixed my lipstick and straightening my hair once more and enter the ballroom. I spot Saxon instantly over by the stage talking to a band member. It’s like I’m drawn to him.
Saxon stalks towards me and hands me a glass of champagne. “You all right?”
“Great.” I smile up at him before taking a sip of the expensive drink.
He gives me his perfect wide smile, which melts me every time, and holds his arm out. “May I have this dance?” he asks, amusement in his eyes.
“You may.” I place my arm in his.
As we reach the edge of the dance floor I take another sip of my drink before Saxon takes my glass and places it on a passing waiter’s tray. Holding his arm out, he gestures. “Shall we?”
Smiling, I follow him onto the dance floor as the band begins playing “The Way You Look Tonight.” Saxon takes my hand and starts moving me around the wooden floor. God, can he dance. I’ve never been the best, but you can’t even tell. Just like in life and work, he takes control and leads me all over the dance floor.
With the song being a bit of a faster pace I struggle to keep up and am breathing a little quicker by the time the song is over. My chest moving rapidly up and down. We pause to clap for the band, and I thank God for a chance to catch my breath.
As another song starts, I begin making my exit. “Uh-uh-uh, not so quick. I’m not done enjoying you yet,” he smirks.
“I was actually hoping for a drink,” I tell him, as I turn and take two more steps, again trying to leave the dance floor.
“Later,” he says, grabbing my hand and spinning me back in.
As Saxon pulls me towards him I recognise the chords as Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable.” Saxon wraps me up in his arms, and it’s not long before we are wrapped so tightly together there is barely a breath of space between us. My head rests on his chest as he places his head on mine, holding my hand over his heart.
I can vaguely feel eyes watching us and awareness washes over me. My heart aches with the knowledge of what they are probably thinking. Guilt sits heavy in my throat, and I try to swallow it down. This is definitely not how business partners dance.
I look up at Saxon causing him to lift his head from mine. I’m too wrapped up in this feeling to let any of them ruin it. He holds me tighter and intertwines our fingers as we stare into each other’s eyes, both smiling, at what I’m not sure. We look like two goofy idiots, and I can’t help but revel in it.
Focusing on this moment with him, I know Dennis was right about one thing. I am nothing without Saxon.
The past week since the gala dinner things have felt unsettled. I can’t explain it, and everything seems to be running like usual. Maybe I’m unsettled. Maybe those comments and stares at the gala have rattled me more than I’d like to admit.
I stand to go make another cup of coffee, the only thing I seem to be drinking lately, when Saxon opens my door and saunters into my office.
“I thought I’d come see if you needed anything before I left?”
“You think I won’t cope without you?” I snort.
He rolls his eyes at me. “The meeting will be for a few hours so I probably won’t return to the office today.”
“No worries,” I tell him as I lead the way out of my office.
“Getting coffee?” He raises his eyebrows.
“Yes, heading down now.”
“You’re drinking way too much of that shit,” he says with a furrowed brow. “Walk with me?”
“Sure.” I roll my eyes.
“What are your plans for tonight?” Saxon asks as we wait for the elevator.
“I’ve got a fair amount of end-of-month stuff to complete so I’ll probably be here for a few more hours. Then I’m going home, soaking in a hot bath and lounging around, eating junk in my jammies.”
He smiles widely at me. “Sounds fun. Can I come around after dinner?”
“Actually, I’m really tired and looking forward to just vegging out.” I glance away, unable to meet his eyes.
“Right.” His voice drops. I hate hurting his feelings, but he knew what my answer was going to be.
After all these months we still haven’t spent any time at my house except for Saxon picking me up on occasion, and I’m just not ready for it yet. That’s Nate’s house. The home we shared. The house we were meant to bring our babies home to. I can’t have Saxon there. Not only does it already feel like I’m betraying Nate, but I would feel like I was rubbing salt in the wound. It’s stupid. I know it’s stupid. Like he’s there watching over me at home, but can’t see me at work, or Saxon’s apartment, or his car.
Trying to lighten the mood, I bump into his side. “Aww, are you going to miss me? Can’t go one night without seeing me?”
Saxon looks down at me with a sombre expression as we step into the elevator. “Yes, I am,” he states firmly, not taking his eyes off mine. “What have you done to me?” He laughs but there’s no humour in his voice.
The elevator door opens, and I’m thankful for its perfect timing, saving me from responding to his comment.
“Have a good night, Brooke.” He leans down and lightly kisses my cheek.
“Bye, Sax,” I exit the elevator.
When I turn to look at him, I see the sadness written all over his face before the doors close and the elevator drives him away to the basement parking.
Gah. I really hate this week.
Spinning around to get my coffee fix, I see Harper is sitting at her desk, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.
“What was that?” she asks, surprise in her voice.
“What?” I play dumb. “Saxon is leaving for the day, can you take messages for all his calls, please?”
“Well, you mustn’t be ready to talk about it yet if you’ve stooped to insultin
g my competence and abilities.” I roll my eyes at her. “Fair enough, keep your secrets,” she says with mock indifference.
“How are things with Aiden?” I ask her, finding a subject to distract us. Her face lights up, and I know I’ve hit the jackpot.
“Oh, Brooke, he is so wonderful. We’ve been seeing each other nearly every day since the club and the few days we couldn’t, we’ve spent the night on the phone. He treats me like such a lady. Well, except in the bedroom.” She snickers.
“Okie, dokie. I don’t want to hear that.” I hold my hands up to signal her to stop. I can still hear her laughing as I exit the foyer and head towards the staff room.
Bill is on the phone as I pass his office so I just give him a wave as I go, focussed solely on getting my next hit. Never being much of a coffee drinker, I’m thinking Saxon is right, and maybe I should cut back. To go from one coffee a day to easily more than six can’t be good for me.
Turning the coffee machine on, I grab the milk out of the fridge and place it on the bench. I lean back onto the counter as I pull my phone out of my pants pocket and begin flipping through my personal email.
“Brooke, how great to see you.” The familiar voice sends shivers up my spine, and not in a good way.
“Hi, Paul,” I say with a tight smile, already planning my escape. I’ve done a good job of avoiding him as much as possible, or just saying a quick hello in passing, since I started working here. He still creeps me out, constantly standing too close and the inappropriate touches. He’s always cornering me in places such as the elevator or staff room and has even caught me a couple of times in the stairwell.
“How have you been?”
“Great, thanks.” My voice is high-pitched, and I hope he can’t hear it. I don’t want him knowing he throws me off balance, or even worse, thinking it’s in a good way.
His eyes rake my body from head to toe. “You’re looking great.” My face turns sour as I throw up a little in my mouth. Thankfully he doesn’t wait for a response. “Saxon’s left for the day, so early day for you, too?”
Wherever You Will Go Page 21
