by Kylie Walker
When Samantha was able to release her daughter at last, she took both sides of Chloe’s face in her hands and said, “I have always loved you. Part of my heart has always belonged to you. Part of me has always been missing until the moment that Derek walked in here with you the last time. I knew then that you were ours. My heart knew. A mother loves her child alive or dead and would move heaven and earth for them if she had the power. That day...the day I thought you died, I would have gladly given my own life if I knew that it would give you back yours.”
Chloe was crying so hard that she could barely see Samantha’s face through the hot burn of the tears. Samantha kissed her cheeks and released her and moved back. That was when Chloe realized Trevor was there. He was standing back just a little bit, unsure she thought of how much she was ready to take. She stood up and he came to her then and she was enveloped in the strong arms of her father.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her ear. “I’m so sorry we didn’t get to be there for you.”
Chloe had her head against his chest and she was shaking it. “Don’t apologize. None of this was your fault. I’m so sorry for your pain.” She felt his hand go up and brush against her hair. He kissed the top of her head and said, “We have always loved you.”
When Chloe was a little girl and her “sister” Daphne derived her own sick pleasure by telling her she was adopted and then reminding her each chance she got...Chloe would dream of this moment. She’d imagine her real parents finding her and telling her it had all been a horrible mistake. Then her daddy would pick her up and hold her in the way that daddy’s were supposed to hold their little girls. She would feel safe and loved at last. That was how she felt now in Trevor’s arms, like nothing could ever hurt her again.
Trevor finally released her, reluctantly. She looked at Derek who was watching them with tears in his eyes. She reached out for his hand and he took hers and squeezed it. She felt happy, but at the same time she was overwhelmed and feeling like she could hardly breathe. She looked at her parents, delighting in the fact that she could call them that, and she said, “I’m so glad that Derek brought me to you,” she squeezed his hand and said, “I will be grateful to him for that forever. I want you both to know that I’m so happy it turned out this way, but I just need a minute...to wrap my head around all of this and catch my breath.”
Samantha was nodding. “Of course you do,” she said. “Whatever you need Chloe.”
“Maybe a walk,” she said. “Would that be alright if I just took a walk around the grounds?”
Samantha smiled and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “You can walk wherever you want,” she said.
Trevor laughed and said, “There she goes, spoiling her already.”
Chloe smiled and looked at Derek. “Do you mind?”
He reached up and put his hand on her face and said, “Like your mother said, whatever you need.” He pulled her face down and put his lips to hers softly and then he let her go.
“Thank you,” she whispered to him. Then she looked at her parents who were holding onto each other now and said, “Thank you all. I’ll be back soon.”
They nodded and as she walked away, she saw them clutch onto each other tightly and she heard Samantha begin crying again. From here on out, everyone’s lives were going to be different...in a good way for a change.
******
Jesse sat in his spot on the little grassy hill with his binoculars and watched the house. Who were these people to her? They’re Stark’s in-laws, so his attachment made sense, but Kelly’s confused him. He watched them sitting at the table while Kelly held an envelope in her hand. She eventually opened it and then suddenly everyone was wracked with emotion. After they’d all finished hugging and kissing and crying, Kelly had left alone, walking out through the pasture behind the property.
Once again, he was tempted to take her right there. He let the binoculars focus on her for a few seconds. She was crying still, he could see the tears slide down her face as she walked. “Good,” he said out loud to the hillside he sat on. “I hope the bitch is miserable.”
He moved his attention back to the people on the patio. Derek Stark was sitting there watching after Kelly as she walked away and the two older people sat holding each other and the woman was still crying. There was something familiar about her. Jesse felt like he’d seen her before...or he knew her from somewhere. He couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe it was just from what he’d seen online when he had researched who they were. He switched his focus back to Kelly and watched her walk further away from the house. He wanted to grab her so badly that it was almost a physical ache in his chest.
He had to take some long, deep breaths and remind himself that being patient was going to make it so much better in the long run. He had to be patient. When the time came the reunion would be that much sweeter, and he’d have everything set up so that there would be no way they could blame her disappearance on him. He would leave no trace and all that would be left of her would be the sweet memory of the realization in her eyes that she was going to die, right before he killed her.
He looked back at the patio again. Stark still hadn’t taken his eyes off of her. He was going to be a problem...unless Jesse did something about him first. A plan was beginning to formulate in his head. Part of his plan to not get caught was to eliminate the obstacles that stood between him and what he wanted.
Derek Stark had to go.
Chapter 8
Chloe walked along the cobbled stone path in the back yard, past the peaceful little pond filled with colorful koi and the flowers lay out around it like a vivid, multi-colored carpet. She let herself out the wrought iron gate and followed along the dirt trail that led towards the meadows and the green hills. It was so peaceful here. There was no traffic noise and it was even lacking the noise of the ocean. She loved living on the beach, but sometimes the amount of people it drew and the noise of the birds and water crashing against the rocks could be distracting. Here, there was nothing but nature and it felt like she could truly be alone with her thoughts.
At the end of the dirt trail she came to an empty shallow ditch and looked across at the meadow on the other side. The grass was thick and lush there and way off in the distance she could see a couple of tan horses with dark brown manes grazing in the dense tussocks. There was one lone oak tree that stood in the center of it, possibly to provide shady respite for the horses in late afternoon. She carefully made her way down the small incline into the ditch and up the other side. She was drawn to the tree and the cool shade that it could offer.
She lowered herself into a thick carpet of grass and with her back to the tree she sat and breathed in the fragrant air and like an old movie playing in her head, her thoughts ran back over the course of the past few months. As she watched it all play out, she couldn’t help but wonder how different things would be if Derek had never found her. Would she still be dancing on that pole every night, living in the fear of Jesse showing up until she allowed it to consume her every thought and dictate her every move? It was very likely.
Since Derek found her, everything had changed. She’d learned to trust...something she’d never really had. She learned that not all men were bad. The men that were her examples in life, Jesse and her “father” should have been the ones to protect her and make her feel safe. Just those few seconds in Trevor’s’ arms convinced her that was what a real father was supposed to feel like.
The time she’d been with Derek had shown her what a real relationship was supposed to be about and how a real man was supposed to treat a woman. Derek was loving and kind and supportive and she had reason to believe, judging from his relationship with his in-laws that he wasn’t going to change. This was who he was and she knew that she was lucky to have him in her life.
She learned so much over the past year. She knew now, thanks to Max that when anxiety and fear grab you by the throat and begin to squeeze...Don’t panic, use it to become stronger. The past made her stronger. She c
an see the scars now as reminders of what she can survive. She knows now in her heart that she’s not going to let any of it take her down. She’s a good person and for the first time in her life she has good people in her corner. She’d been telling herself for almost two years that she deserves to be happy and she deserves a life not fraught with hatefulness and fear. She was finally coming around to believing it. Fear was only going to hold her back and stop her from reaching her goals. Besides, fear was what Jesse wanted from her. He fed off of it, and she refused to feed the monster any longer.
She looked around her at the wide open spaces and in her head she called out to Jesse, “Bring it on, I’m ready for you.”
*******
When Chloe got back to the house an hour later she could see the relief in both Derek and her parent’s eyes. None of them would say it out loud, but she could see that they had all worried she would take off...that this would all be too much pressure.
“The grounds are beautiful,” she told them. “I sat and watched the horses for a while.”
“Do you ride?” Trevor asked her.
“No, I’ve never been on a horse,” she said. “I wouldn’t mind trying it someday.”
“Anytime you’re ready,” Derek said, “I’ll take you for a ride. You can ride with me, or you can ride Rocket.”
“Rocket?”
“He’s our gentle horse,” Samantha said. “He’s the best horse to learn on because he’s so calm.”
“That sounds like fun,” she said, “I might take you up on it.”
She sat down at the table and there was a few moments of awkward silence before Samantha finally spoke.
“We would love to know more about you, Chloe. Anything you feel comfortable telling us. Derek told us that you grew up in New York. Do you still see your... parents?”
Samantha seemed to have a hard time spitting out that word. Chloe thought about how hard it would be for her if she knew the truth.
“No,” Chloe said, honestly. “I haven’t seen them in about six years.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Samantha said.
“It’s okay,” Chloe told her, “It’s better that way, trust me.”
Trevor looked concerned right away and said, “Why is that, Chloe? Did you have a falling out with them?”
She looked at Derek and she could almost visualize his protective instinct rising up as he said, “It’s not really something she likes to talk about.”
Chloe’s heart warmed once again. She smiled at Derek and then to her parents she said, “Maybe someday I’ll feel more comfortable sharing it with you. But today is a good day. What I have to say about my adoptive parents and my childhood is not good. I was abused, but that’s all I’m really comfortable saying right now. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not,” Trevor and Samantha both said, almost simultaneously.
Chloe could see the anger on Trevor’s face and the anguish in Samantha’s at only the suggestion of it. She was once again touched by how much they truly cared about her.
“What about your life now, Chloe? We don’t know anything. What are your interests? What makes you happy?”
“Honestly,” Chloe said, “I’m just beginning to figure all of that out. I do know that I’ve always wanted to be a teacher. I loved school growing up, and I loved my classes more so where I had teachers who were enthusiastic about being there. That’s the kind of teacher I want to be. I want my kids to want to come to school and I want them to want to learn. I want to be the adult they can trust if it seems like they can’t trust anyone else.”
She became passionate when she talked about it. It was something she had wanted to do for so long. Even when she was a little girl she’d wanted to teach. She always felt safe at school and she was sure that had a lot to do with it.
“Derek told us that you live right on the beach. I’ll bet that’s lovely,” Samantha said.
Chloe glanced at Trevor. He still looked angry but when he saw her look at him he smiled and tried to hide it.
“Yes,” she said, “It’s really nice. My friend owns the condo. She rented it to me and my roommate, Lexi. It is literally on the beach. I never knew how much I loved the ocean and how calming it could be until recently. But, I have to admit that while I was out walking, I noticed the difference here. It’s peaceful and quiet. The beach is just peaceful...it’s rarely quiet.”
“Yes, we enjoy the quiet out here,” Samantha said. “Trevor and I both grew up in the city, and we spend a lot of time there for work and social functions. It’s always nice to come back to our quiet little safe haven.”
“Did you take dance classes or play any sports when you were younger?” Trevor asked her.
“No, I didn’t really do anything when I was a kid, except go to school.”
Again Trevor looked like he wanted to punch something. Samantha looked sad. She seemed to notice her husband’s building anger.
“Trevor and I were invited to have drinks and appetizers this evening with the mayor and his wife in the city. There’s a really nice new restaurant. It’s a Mediterranean Bistro. We would really like it if the two of you would join us?”
Chloe looked at Derek and he said, “It’s entirely up to you.”
“I only hesitate because I’m not sure what I brought to wear,” Chloe said with a smile. “I was so nervous about all of this that I may have forgotten anything other than my jeans.”
“Well, if you don’t have anything with you, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to go into the city early and you and I could shop for something nice for you to wear.”
Samantha seemed desperate to connect with Chloe in any way. Chloe wanted to know her better too, but she didn’t want to bond over allowing Samantha to buy her things. The thought of the ride into town unnerved her a little bit too. She was still a little unsure what to say to Samantha. Here, Derek was a buffer so she didn’t have to struggle to hold up the conversation.
“I’ll go look and see what I brought,” she said. “Excuse me?”
“Yes, of course,” Samantha said.
Derek and Trevor both stood up like the gentlemen they were as she rose to her feet and left the room. When she got into the hallway she stopped and pressed her back to the wall and took a deep breath. One hour at a time, she reminded herself.
Chloe went into her room and closed the door. She pulled the wardrobe carrier that she had brought with her out and laid it on the bed and unzipped it. She had brought a navy blue skirt and blouse and a nice silk pantsuit. She hadn’t worn the pantsuit yet and she’d bought it months ago. She picked it up and held it in front of her.
It was a really pale yellow color and she suddenly remembered why she hadn’t worn it yet. The color of it made her look slightly pale and pasty. She’d bought it during the winter however and now she had a slight tan on her face so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. She lay the suit back down on the bed and pulled off her shirt. Just as she reached for the suit, there was a knock on her door and Samantha poked her head in. The look of horror that was etched into her pretty features told Chloe she’d seen the scars on her back before Chloe turned around.
In a tremulous voice she said, “Omg...I’m so sorry, Chloe. I was just coming to...”
Tears seemed to stream down her face suddenly of their own volition, “I should have knocked...” she sucked in a deep breath and then she lost it, “Oh God! My baby....” Samantha clutched her stomach and sank down to the floor on her knees.
Chloe watched in helpless horror as the festering memories of the dead baby and the new realization that - that baby hadn’t been dead but tortured, ruptured to the surface. Samantha was hurtled head long into a festering old wound and with a deep, uncontrollable sob that sounded almost inhuman. She sat in the doorway on her knees and rocked back and forth, sobbing uncontrollably. The tears coursed down her cheeks unchecked and with the first breath she could manage she moaned out, “Chloe, I’m so sorry. I should have protected you. Oh dear God! I’m so sorry!�
��
Chloe saw Derek and Trevor behind Samantha in the doorway. They’d heard her cries. Trevor looked on the verge of his own breakdown as he reached for his wife. He helped her to her feet and she practically collapsed into his arms. He was looking questioningly at Chloe. She looked at Derek and without words he was able to put two and two together since Chloe was still standing in her bra.
Feeling like her lungs were almost too depleted of oxygen to talk herself she forced out, “Can I talk to her, alone?”
Trevor looked from Chloe to Derek and then back down at his wife. Derek put his hand on the older man’s shoulder and in a calm voice he said, “Let’s let them talk.”
Samantha finally pulled her head back slowly and looked up at her husband.
“I’ll be okay,” she said almost in a whisper and touching the side of his face softly with her hand.
Chloe’s heart tugged at the anguish she saw in her father’s eyes. He had his own wounds, but it was obvious that his heart bled for his wife. Trevor helped her over to the bed and she sat down on the edge of it as Chloe pulled her shirt on over her head. She sat down next to her mother and took her hand. Trevor gave Samantha one last worried look and then suddenly he dropped to his knees in front of the bed and took both women into his arms. They held onto each other wishing away the pain that each one of them had to endure over each of their lives before he got up and left them alone.
Chapter 9
“I’m sorry that you had to find out this way. I should have told you.”
Chloe felt guilty. If Samantha had known about the scars before she saw them, it wouldn’t have been so traumatic for her.
Samantha took her hand. “Please, don’t ever apologize to me again about any of this. I can’t imagine the horrors that you went through. The very thought of it feels like someone is reaching into my chest and crushing my heart in their bare hands.”
