by Филиппа Карр
"And what of the Princess Mary? Would she stand aside to see Jane Grey Queen of England?"
"It is to be hoped that the King will go on living, for if he did not there could be war in England.”
"A war between the supporters of Jane and those of Mary would be a war between those of the old faith and the new.”
"We must pray for the King's good health for that is to pray for peace," said Kate.
I did not know it but the quiet years were coming to an end.
The Abbey flourished. The old guesthouses were occupied by workers; and in the midst of this activity was the castlelike residence known as St. Bruno's Abbey. We were supplying corn to the surrounding districts; our wool was bringing in big prices.
We had more animals than we needed for our own consumption and these were slain and salted down and sold.
I had discovered that no less than twenty of our workers were men who had been attached to the Abbey before the dissolution -some monks, some lay brothers. It seemed inevitable that they should band together and remember the customs of the old days.
The church was intact. It was used at night. Frequently I saw from my window after the household had retired, men making their way there. I believed they celebrated the Mass as they had in the Abbot's day.
Rupert had extended his lands; he visited us now and then and when he came Bruno took a certain pleasure in conducting him around our estate. There was no envy in Rupert; he admired everything and seemed genuinely pleased to see such prosperity.
One day he rode over. It was during one of Bruno's trips to the Continent and I knew as soon as I saw him that something had happened. Strangely enough the first thing I thought of was: He has come to tell me that he is about to marry. I was surprised at the feeling of depression that gave me.
It was not that I had a dog-in-the-manger attitude toward him; but I had come to regard him as very important in my life, and I suddenly realized what comfort the devotion he had shown me for so long had meant to me. Sometimes when I had been deeply perplexed I had thought of his existence, a close neighbor, someone to whom I could turn in trouble-always there, always delighted to be called on.
If he married, he would remain so-but I knew it would be different. I used to tell myself perhaps overemphatically how pleasant it would be if he married and had children.
Some of the happiest times were when I had all the children at the Abbey my own two girls, Kate's two boys and my mother's twins. I loved to hear their noisy games and sometimes join in. Kate watched me with cynical amusement, but these were some of the happiest hours of my life at that time.
I faced the fact now that my marriage was not what I had dreamed of. I looked around and wondered whose was. Kate's and Remus's-my parents, my mother's with Simon Caseman?
I verily believed that my mother was the happiest wife I knew. But I had Catherine and I must be grateful to the union which had brought me her.
I took Rupert into my winter parlor and sent for wine and the cakes we served with it. Clement always had a batch fresh from the oven.
"You have news, I can see," I said.
He looked at me earnestly. "Damask," he said, "how much do you know of what is going on?”
"Here, you mean? In the Abbey?”
"Here and in the country.”
"Here. Well, I live here. I know they are always busy producing something and we would seem to be prospering. In the country? Well, Kate keeps me informed, you know, and I hear many rumors. Travelers are constantly bringing news. The last I heard was that the poor King was very ill with the smallpox and measles and although he recovered it has left him with consumption.”
"It will be a miracle if he lasts out the year.”
"Then it will be a new Queen. It will be a Queen, won't it? Queen Mary, I suppose.”
"There is always danger in the air when a monarch dies at such an age as to leave no heirs of his body.”
"Is this what concerns you, Rupert?”
"You concern me," he answered.
I averted my eyes. I did not want a declaration of his devotion which I knew full well existed. It would have been an embarrassment to us both. I think I realized then that I loved Rupert. Oh, it was no wild searing passion. It was not like that which I had felt and could still feel for Bruno. Rupert had not that strange beauty which Bruno possessed; there was no mystery surrounding Rupert. He was just a good man. I loved him differently from the manner in which I loved Bruno. It was as though love were a fruit to be divided into half-one half gave passion and excitement, the other enduring love and security. I could see that what I longed for was both.
My thoughts were running on and I wanted to know what anxiety had brought Rupert here.
"There are rumors about this place," said Rupert. "You are unaware of this. The last to hear rumors are those whom they most concern. As yet they are whispers but many people are watching St. Bruno's Abbey. There is a mystery surrounding this place.”
"It is prosperous because we have worked hard here.”
"I want you to be on your guard, Damask. If there should be danger, stop for nothing.
Take the girls and ride over to me. If need be I could hide you.”
"The children are in danger?”
"When a house is in danger all the inmates could well be.”
"What is this danger, which has suddenly loomed up?”
"It is not sudden, Damask, it has been there for a long time. Ever since Bruno came back and took the Abbey it has been said that the place is being re-formed.... It is known that many of the monks have returned. Talk to Bruno. There should be no assemblies... no private services... no monkly practices. It is inevitable that people will say that the monastery has been reformed in defiance of the law.”
I said: "The King is sick, is he not? I hear that the Lady Mary when she is Queen may well restore the monasteries.”
"It would not be possible, but she would certainly not frown on those who practiced the monastic way of life. Remember though, Damask, she is not Queen, and in some quarters it is said she never will be.”
"She is the heir to the throne.”
Is she? Was not her mother's marriage to King Henry declared to be no marriage? In which case she is a bastard.”
'The King is not dead and we should not be talking of his death. Would that not be construed as treason?”
'We wish him no ill. We wish him long life. But if we must talk dangerously then so we must, for you could well be in danger. Lord Northumberland has just married his son to the Lady Jane Grey. For what purpose think you? Edward supports the Reformed faith; so doth Lady Jane. If Lady Jane became Queen with Lord Guildford Dudley as her consort the Reformed religion would prevail and those who were suspected of Papistry and living the monastic life would be regarded as enemies of the state.”
"Rupert, it is good of you so to concern yourself for us.”
"No, not good, for there is nothing I can do to stop myself.”
"But how could this be? Who would accept the Lady Jane as Queen? Who now believes that the late King's marriage to Katharine of Aragon was no marriage? We know full well that it was declared so that he might marry Anne Boleyn and for this he had to break with the Church, which is where all our troubles started.”
"Forget not Guildford Dudley's powerful father. Northumberland could bring force of arms to support the claims of his daughter-in-law.”
"But he could not succeed, for surely Mary has the true claim.”
"How much will true claims count against a force of arms? Who do you think is the most powerful man in our country today? It is not the King. He is but a child in the hands of Northumberland, and if Northumberland succeeds in putting Jane Grey on the throne the danger you are now in would not be diminished, I do assure you.
But / think of now. There are enemies of St. Bruno's Abbey very close to you, Damask.”
"I believe you are thinking of my mother's husband.”
"He is an ambitious man. From humble beginn
ings he has become the owner of your father's house. He has done you a great wrong and people who do wrong very often bear great resentment against those whom they wrong.”
"You think that he would wish to take revenge on me for the wrong he did me? You believe then, Rupert, that he was in truth the man who betrayed my father?”
"I think it likely. He profited much. He could only have been in his present position through marriage with you and you made it clear, did you not, that that was out of the question?”
"You know so much, Rupert.”
"I have concerned myself closely with all that touches you.”
"What should I do now?”
"Warn your husband. Beg him to stop these men who were once monks and lay brothers assembling together. It would be better if he sent them away.”
"To where could he send them?”
"He could separate them. Perhaps I would take one or two. Kate could have more at Remus... anything rather than that it should be seen that a community of men who were once monks still live at St. Bruno's Abbey.”
"I will speak to him on his return, Rupert.”
He was very anxious but that satisfied him a little.
I sent for the girls and I was so proud of them. Honey was now thirteen years old and a real beauty; she had outgrown that acute jealousy of Catherine; and Catherine was of course my precious darling, my own child, and I loved her as I had not loved any since my father. My feelings for Bruno I set apart-I knew it now for a bemused fascination. It could have grown into overwhelming love, perhaps greater than anything, but I had for some time now realized that was not to be so.
Rupert was a favorite of the girls. They liked to visit his farm; it was he who had taught them to ride and they felt they had more freedom on his farm than they had at the Abbey. Bruno's indifference to Catherine and his resentment of Honey was noticed by the girls. They accepted it as children do and did not seek to change it. But I often thought that to Rupert they gave some of the love that might have been their father's. He was something between a highly favored uncle and father.
They chattered away, asking about the animals on his farm, some of which had been given names by them.
They embraced him warmly when he went and his eyes warned me: Do not forget our conversation.
The danger is here. It could flare up at any moment.
Bruno returned in good spirits. He was always in an exultant mood after his visits to the Continent.
'Did you do good business?" I asked him. He assured me that he had.
'What did you bring home this time? Anything new? My mother always wants to know what new flowers and vegetables have been produced in other countries.”
He said he had brought a fine tapestry which would hang in the hall.
When we were alone in our bedchamber that night I told him of Rupert's visit and the warning he had given me.
"Rupert!" cried Bruno scathingly. "What is he hinting at?”
"He is truly concerned. We are in danger. I sense it.”
He looked at me impatiently. "Have I not told you that you should trust me in all things? You doubt my ability to manage my affairs." He went to the window and looked out. He turned to me. "All this," he said, "is mine. I have rebuilt it. It rises like the phoenix out of the ashes. / did this and you doubt my ability to manage my affairs!”
"I don't doubt for one moment, but it often happens that some are more aware of danger than others. And there is danger in the air.”
"Danger?”
"Many of the old monks and lay brothers are here. They are living a life which is very close to that which they led in the monastery.”
"Well?”
"It has been noticed.”
He laughed. "You have always sought to bring me down. You have always resented the fact that I am not as other men. Understand now, that I am not as other men. By God, do you believe that any other could have come to this place, taken it in the first place, and raised it up to what it is now if there had not been some superior power within him?”
I said: "It is certainly very mysterious.”
"Mysterious! Is that all you have to say of it?”
"How did you acquire the Abbey, Bruno?”
"I have told you.”
"But...”
"But you do not believe me. You have ever tried to throw doubts on all that I have told you. I should never have chosen you.”
Truly he frightened me. I thought: There is a madness in him! And I was ever afraid of the mad.
I cried: "So, you made one mistake. Your judgment was wrong. You chose me and you should never have done so." He turned to me suddenly. I was sitting up in bed and he gripped my arm. It was a painful grip but I did not cry out; I met the blazing fanatical light in his eye with what I believed was calm good sense.
Then I said, "It was a mistake, was it not?”
"It need not have been. At that time it was not a mistake. You trusted me then.”
"Yes, I trusted you then. And I believed that we should build a wonderful life together.
But you deceived me from the start, did you not? You told me you were poor and humble.”
"Humble... when was I ever humble?”
"You are right. Never were you humble. And the test you put me to, that was arrogant, was it not? You did not woo me as any other man would have done. You must feign poverty lest you fear I marry you for your estates.”
He released my arm with an impatient gesture.
"You are hysterical. Rupert has been frightening you and although you have no faith nor truth in me you are very ready to believe him.”
"I believe him because what he says makes sense. The Reformed party is in power.
The King is a Protestant. Northumberland is a Protestant and they rule the country.
Have we not seen the tragedy that can come to those who do not conform to the doctrines laid down by our rulers?”
"And you think I would be ruled by these inferior people?”
"Have a care what you say, Bruno. Who knows what may be heard and reported? It is clear to me that you would be ruled by none but your own overweening pride... your desire to prove that you are not as other men.”
"And am I? Have you forgotten my coming?”
I thought of Keziah on that memorable night and her terror because she had betrayed that which should never have been betrayed; I thought of Brother Ambrose walking across the grass with Bruno and Rolf Weaver coming upon them, taunting. Bruno had seen that. He had seen his father kill the man who had taunted him. Yes, he had seen it and shut his eyes to it because he would not believe Keziah and Ambrose spoke the truth.
He could not have it because if it did the image which he had created of himself would be destroyed. In this lies madness, I thought.
"I forget nothing," I said.
"It would be well that you remember." He stood there beside the bed-tall and straight with the pallor of his face like marble, a contrast to those startlingly violet eyes which were so like Honey's. I thought: He is as beautiful as a god! And I felt that overwhelming tenderness take possession of me and I could not say to him: Bruno, you are living a lie because you are afraid to face the truth.
He began to speak. "I... I alone came back to the Abbey, did I not? It was lost and I regained it. How was it done?”
"Bruno, please tell me truthfully. How was it done?”
"It was a miracle. It was the second miracle at St. Bruno's.”
I turned wearily away. There was no reasoning with him.
A NEW REIGN
A Reign THAT HAPPENED in that momentous year of 1553. My thirtieth birthday was three months away. Thirty! It was not really old but in my thirty years I had seen events take place which had shattered the peace not only of my own household but of the entire country, I had suffered deep sorrow and known some happiness; and at this stage of my life I had reached a conclusion that I had made one of the greatest mistakes a woman can make in marrying a man who can never give her the rich fulfillment
she craved. I had my daughters-my own Catherine and my adopted Honey; they were at that time my life; and when I thought of Rupert's warning and the dangers which beset us, it was of my children I thought, not of myself nor what might befall my husband and his Abbey.
The religious conflict was the main question of the day. Even my mother did not escape it.
When I visited her as I did not as often as I should have wished to, for I always feared to come face to face with her husband, or when she visited me she would chatter of her twins and their mischief, which seemed a source of great delight to her, her garden, her stillroom, her remedies. Only rarely would she refer to the new religion.
"You should study the new opinions, Damask," she said. "They are the views of the King and it is good for us all to follow him.”
"Mother," I replied, "I cannot say, 'This is the right and that the wrong,' for it seems to me that there is much to be said for both sides.”
"Nonsense," said my mother briskly, "how could wrong be right and right wrong? It must either be one or the other. And this is the right, I do assure you.”
"Having been assured by your husband?”
"He has studied these matters.”
"Others have studied them. There are clever people on both sides. You must know that.”
"It is easy for these people to be mistaken and your stepfather has given a great deal of time to it.”
I smiled at her indulgently. How try to explain to her! But the fact that she was aware of these matters showed how firmly they must have a hold in my old home.
It was a June night-there was a full moon and I sat at my window and thought of what Rupert had said of our dangers and I wondered whether Bruno would join me that night when I saw dark figures moving toward the church. I knew what this meant. They were going to Mass. Bruno would be with them.
I shivered a little. They knew that if this were known they would be in danger, and yet they continued to act in this way. Perhaps they believed that Bruno with his supernatural powers could save them from any disaster which might threaten them.
Some of the ex-monks were simple, I thought. Clement for one had clearly convinced himself that there was no truth in Keziah and Ambrose's story. Bruno had that power to convince people in the face of facts. The only one with whom he could not succeed was myself.
