by Daisy Allen
“Oooh, there’s a fantasy.” Finn winked at me infuriatingly.
“Ugh. You’re disgusting. Arrogant prick.” I stormed to the nearest business class check in line while he followed never more than half a step behind me.
“You know you have a separate check in section for first class, right?” I said to him, irritated.
“Yeah, but I need my babysitter to do it for me, remember?”
“Did you get a chance to read the files?”
“All business and no banter is going to make you a dull girl, Kara.”
“Firstly, I’m 33 now, so that’s ‘woman’, thank you very much.”
He grinned and cocked his eyebrow.
“And secondly, business is why we’re on this trip, and I’d appreciate it if you took it more seriously.”
The check in assistant waved us over to her counter.
“And where are you headed today?” She asked.
“Paris.” We both replied.
“Passports, please?” We handed them over.
“Ah, Mr O’Reilly, you’re flying in first class, did you know you have a designated first class check in counter?”
“Oh, I do, but Ms Sinclair here is my babysitter and my stepdaddy said I couldn’t leave her side.” He ignored my glare. “But while we’re on the matter...would you be so kind as to check to see if there are any more first class seat available we can upgrade Ms Sinclair to? We will pay the difference, of course.”
“No, the company only pays for me to fly in business.” I reminded Finn.
He hushed me with a look and turned his charm back to the check in assistant.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr O’Reilly, we’re just absolutely booked up.”
“No problem, doesn’t hurt to ask...you know, gain some points with the ol’ babysitter here.” He nudged me with his elbow and winked at her and she blushed.
I didn’t blame her.
“Here are your boarding passes and the First and Business Class lounges are just after security.”
“Thank you...” He said.
“Victoria,”
“Victoria, classy name for a classy woman. Thank you.”
He grabbed my carry on and made for the security line.
“What was that?” I puffed, trying to keep up with his long strides.
“What was what?”
“The upgrade thing.”
“Have you flown first class? Ever?”
“No. I’ve only lately been flying business, mostly so Larry and I can work.”
“Well then, consider yourself better off for not knowing what you’re missing out on. I just thought it’d make your flight more comfortable.”
“But, the company wouldn’t have...”
“Kara. My stepfather owns 65% of the company. I’m sure he can find some petty cash somewhere to make sure you get a good night’s sleep on your flight to Paris. Just say ‘thank you, Finn’.”
The word danced on my lips but I swallowed it down, it fell heavy like a rock down into the pit of my stomach. It’d be a long time before I’d express any sort of gratitude towards him for anything.
“Why? I’m still in Business class, aren’t I? I should say, ‘sorry your charms didn’t work’.”
“Ouch. Were you always this grouchy?”
The insults died on my lips. Every time he brought up any mention of us having a past, it made it harder for me to just see him as an annoying nuisance, and reminded me what he’d done to me. Broken my heart beyond repair.
“I’ll see you at the baggage claim in Paris. I trust you to get through immigration without getting arrested, ok?”
I turned and practically sprinted away from him. I couldn’t believe I was finally going on my dream trip, and my nightmare past was coming with me.
***
“Ladies and gentleman, the captain has now turned off the fasten seatbelt sign however, for your own safety, we ask that you keep your seatbelt fastened while seated.”
A symphony of metal clatters erupted around me, as was usual right after take-off, everyone getting up to put jackets away or grab their laptops. I used to think that traveling business class would be all about luxury, but most people really were on business, trying to get as much work or sleep in as possible before they landed and if they were anything like Larry and me, a week of back to back meetings awaited them.
I unclasped my seatbelt and reached for the overhead compartment for my laptop. As I sat down, I noticed the flight attendant kneel down and whisper something to the passenger next to me. They then gathered up her things and left together, weaving up the aisle towards the front of the plane.
“That’s weird.” I mumbled to myself. “I hope she’s ok.” I’d had a short chat to her during take off and she’d mentioned that she wasn’t feeling so great.
“Oh, I imagine she’s going to be just fine.” I heard Finn’s voice say.
I sank into my seat, clutching my laptop to my chest looking up at him.
“What are you doing here?”
He ignored me as he pushed his carry on into the overhead compartment and sat in the recently vacated seat next to me, waving to a FA as she passed by.
“Excuse me, miss? Can I bother you for a Hennessey on ice? Whenever you have a moment, no rush.” He fussed with his seat belt for a moment and pulled his tray half open in preparation for his drink. “Hey these seats aren’t half bad. Could do without this separator thing though.” He pushed some buttons and I watched the metal barrier between our seats sink down between the arm rests. He winked at me; I scowled back.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him again.
“Well, you seemed SO worried that I was going to singlehandedly cause the company to go under, I asked to swap seats so we could talk. Business.”
“Business?”
“Yes, Kara, this IS a work trip, you know, we’re not just here so you can be woo’ed by my irresistible charm.”
I snorted so loud the neighboring passengers turned their heads.
“It’s ok, everyone, my babysitter’s just trying not to fall in love with me.” He said loudly, waving his hand.
“Stop calling me that!”
“You’re the one who said that’s what you are,” he shrugged and flashed his grin at the FA as she handed him his drink and some extra packets of peanuts and a hand towel.
I shook my head. Leopards and their spots.
“So, are you dating any one?” He asked nonchalantly, taking a sip of his drink before tearing his peanuts open.
“I’m not telling you.” Apparently I’d reverted back to being 17 years old again.
“So, what’s your cat’s name then?” He crunched on a peanut and held the open bag out to me, his face unreadable.
I reached out to push his hand away only to snap it back as a sharp static spark zapped between our fingers.
“Ow!” He yelped. “No need to bite, geez.”
“I didn’t bite.”
“Then what was it?”
“It was a spark between us!”
He grinned, “I know, I just wanted to hear you admit it.”
His carefree playfulness pushed me over the edge and I sprang out of my seat and turned to face him front on, my eyes locked on his.
“Listen. And please listen VERY closely because I am NOT going to repeat myself again. This is a work trip for me. A very important work trip that my boss has trusted me and, apparently, YOU, with.
I love my job and I take it very seriously. In any other circumstance, in any other universe, I would NOT torture myself being 5 minutes in your company let alone a whole week. Because that’s what this is. Complete and utter torture. And if you can’t understand how hard this is for me, then you are more of a heartless jerk than I remember.”
I felt myself trembling as I finished the speech and I could only hope that he would leave soon so that he wouldn’t witness the breakdown that I knew was inevitable. I could feel some of the other passengers watching us, but I didn�
�t care. I needed him to know.
The smile had vanished from his lips and he just held my gaze for a moment and then reached for my wrist. I snatched my hand away from him. He got up and gently squeezed my shoulders and then slowly pushed me down into my seat.
Sitting back down, he handed me his drink.
Despite the open bar, I usually don’t drink on the plane trips, as I couldn’t think of anything worse than waking up with a hangover with 12 hours of meetings ahead of me, but just this once, I decided that I deserved it.
I downed the cognac in one gulp, and hissed as it burned a liquid hot trail down my esophagus.
“Easy,” he said gently, taking the glass from me.
I covered my burning face with my hands, catching the tears streaming down my cheeks. I didn’t want to see him, and this was the very last way I wanted him to see me.
“I can’t, I just can’t-...” I tried to get out.
“Shhhh. It’s ok, you don’t need to say anything for now.” He ran his large hand up and down my back. It was strangely comforting considering he was the cause of my stress. He softly whispered, “shhhhh” a few more times over the next minute or so and continued to rub my back as my tears slowly subsided and I regained control of my breath.
I vaguely heard a flight assistant ask after me and felt him just wave her away.
A crumpled up tissue was pushed into my hand and I looked up to see him watching me worriedly. I sat up and dabbed at my eyes, embarrassed.
“Kara...” He started to say.
I wanted to just ignore him, but I’d never been able to before, and nothing much had changed.
“Just let it go, Finn.” I got up and went to the restroom to wash my face. And wonder how my life had come to this.
***
Finn was still sitting there when I came back about 10 minutes later. He had ordered a drink for me and was reading through some of the files I had printed out and delivered to him that morning. He looked up when I sat down and I set up the laptop, ready to get to work.
I forced myself to look at him, taking a sip of my drink to soften the directness of my gaze. “So, do you have any questions?”
He opened his mouth, and then closed it. A breath later he spoke up, “Well, um, I’m up on most of the numbers and our negotiations. As I understand it, this is really a final sit down before we sign off. So I guess it’s more about our relationship with the directors that I need to understand, so that I’m not way out of line compared to how we’ve been dealing with them in the past.”
I appreciated his effort to keep it to work talk and gave him a small smile. He matched my look, but not the smile.
It was the first time I’d really looked at him since seeing him again, not clouded by surprise or anger or sadness, just a really long look.
He was more handsome than he’d been when he was 17. At the time I’d thought he was so hot, but I realize now that he was just a boy then.
Now he’d filled out into his arms and legs and chest. His face was rugged and strong. His jaw angled and rough with a dark sexy stubble. And his eyes, his eyes were bluer than blue, crystal clear so that you thought you could see through to his soul in them. And they were searching mine now. For what, I didn’t know. But I wasn’t going to give him anything but business.
“Well, um,” I cleared my throat, trying to focus, “I’ve never met them myself, but I’ve listened in on all of Larry’s conversation with them, and the reason we even have this opportunity is because Larry went to the Sorbonne with La Mer’s CEO’s son. They have a strong level of mutual business and personal respect. So, Finn...”
His serious face broke into a grin, “yeah, yeah, don’t fuck it up.”
***
“And then the last meeting should just be a formality and working out the schedule for the acquisition and timeline for due diligence and submitting everything to the NYSE. Larry will join us for that one on the teleconference as well.” I stopped talking for a drink.
Scanning the last page of printed notes, Finn nodded and then closed the file. “Looks good.”
We’d spent the last 3 hours going over the schedule for the Paris meetings and had reached a comfortable, if not entirely business-like, rhythm. Finn turned out to know more about the business than I had thought, and just needed to be updated on the financials and the logistics of how to close the deal. He surprised me with some suggestions to take to Larry and proved he’d actually taken the time to read through my notes and do his own research. I was burning with curiosity about his relationship to the new CEO but would have rather died than break my own rule of keeping everything purely business.
“Do you have any other questions?” I asked Finn.
“Yeah,” his handsome face deep in thought, “who do you have to flirt with around here to get some champagne?” he asked loudly as a flight attendant walked passed and she threw her hands up in pretend exasperation before gesturing that she’d be back with our drinks.
I giggled, unable to resist his jovial demeanor. Some things hadn’t changed about him, but he did seem to be more open, carefree, not walking around with a self imposed chip on his shoulder the whole time. And to think I used to think his grumpiness was so hot.
I watched him wink at the FA as she brought two glasses and left the champagne bottle on his tray and I couldn’t help but picture his teenage face all cold and distant behind sunglasses and chuckled at the memory.
“What?” he handed me a glass and turned his full attention to me.
“Oh, er, nothing.” I pretended to be busy drinking and downed almost the entire glass of Veuve, licking my lips of the tingling liquid.
“No, really, tell me. It’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh in ... well, 15 years, I want to know what caused it.”
He sounded so earnest, or it might’ve been the bubbles already fogging up my brain but I gave in. “I was laughing...at what...a douche you used to be.” I said, trying to swallow my giggles.
He opened his mouth in a look of offense, “I was...not...a...” He stopped and then started laughing himself, “oh my god, even I couldn’t get through that with a straight face. I was a douche, wasn’t I?”
“Uh huh,” I nodded, “a douchey ...vampire!” I burst out into a guffaw.
“What? Take that back! What does that even mean?”
I felt his eyes watching me, but I couldn’t stop laughing at the memory of the petulant adolescent he was compared to the sexy and sophisticated adult sitting here talking to me about a multimillion dollar business deal.
“You...and the...” I gasped for breath, “the leather jacket even in the heat of summer...and sunglasses! Hahaha! The sunglasses even when we went to the movies!” I bent over sucking in breath, tipsy and more relaxed than I’d felt all day.
“Harumph!” He folded his arms in front of his chest and leant back in the seat, trying to look unimpressed with my laughter at his expense, but with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Fuck, he looked so delicious. That...had not changed. I mean, he’d always been the most good looking man I’d ever seen, but now everything was so much... more. He was so much more. His body was more, his face, his smile...he’d grown into every promise that his adolescent body had made. I couldn’t imagine any woman ever denying him anything.
You did, a small shrill voice inside my head whispered. And I took another sip of my champagne to quieten it.
Finn sat forward in his seat and took the empty glass from my hand.
Another static buzz sparked between our fingers and this time I didn’t pull away. I couldn’t even if I’d wanted to, and I didn’t want to.
“Kara,” my name suddenly sounded foreign spoken from his lips, more elegant, sexier, grown up. “I’m...I’m not the douche I used to be.”
“No?”
“No. I...I did a lot of things I’m so ashamed of. To everyone, especially, to you.”
I didn’t say anything and waited for him to pour me another glass.
I shrugged, “what do you want me to say?”
“Do you think you can forgive me?”
I put the glass down and turned to him. Despite how I felt about him, I knew that he was trying to be sincere, so I wanted him to really hear what I was going to say.
“Will I ever forgive you, Finn? No. Never. Not ever. They say forgiveness is about moving on, but you broke my heart beyond repair. Forever. So, no. I won’t ever, ever forgive you.”
And then the lights of the plane went out.
Chapter Eight
15 years ago.
The crowd had thinned out somewhat when Heather and I finally returned to the gym about half an hour later. My ankle had swelled up quite quickly and she’d gone to get some ice which had helped. We’d decided that I was better off barefoot, and so I’d taken off the shoes and hobbled back to the party. Only about 20-30 couples were left on the dance floor, fatigue or alcohol or both had numbed their motor skills, and there was a variety of eclectic dance moves and couples leaning on each other, barely moving.
We spotted Eric and Finn sitting at our table, ties loosened and jackets off, as they waved their arms in passionate debate.
“Hey!” Heather went over the Eric and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
I dropped to my seat, next to Finn. He turned to me and winked.
“So...what’ve you guys been doing?” Heather asked, still hanging off her boyfriend’s neck.
“Waiting for you,” Finn said to me, as if I were the only one in the room.
“Well, Kara’s ankle’s pretty sore, so I think we should get her home or somewhere she can rest.” Heather spoke up.
“I’ll take her,” Finn offered. “I parked my car here in the afternoon so we’d have a way to get home.”
“Um, are you sure…” Eric started, but stopped when Finn threw him a warning look.
“Let’s go.” He stood up abruptly and grabbed my hand puling me to my feet
“Oh. Um, sure. Ok.” I said, picking up my purse. He was acting a little weird. I looked at Heather who just shrugged and waved.
