“Yes, Shay.” Why the hell wasn't she watching out for her friend? Especially when said friend was obviously a lightweight.
“Oh. Look for the most beautiful girl in the room. That's her.”
“I'm looking at the most beautiful girl in the room,” I told her, my hand moving out to stroke her silky hair though I knew I should have been hightailing it out of there.
Her brows drew together slightly. “You need to stop saying things like that.”
“Why?” I asked, knowing I was taking advantage of her with her inhibitions down. But, hell, I wanted to know what was going on in that pretty little head of hers.
“Because I like it,” she said easily.
“Isn't that even more reason that I should say it?” I asked, liking it way too much that she liked what I said to her. I reached out, grabbing her legs and pulled them over my lap.
“I don't know,” she said, sounding genuinely confused. “I feel like no.”
“Hey,” a woman's voice cut in and I looked up to find a gorgeous dark skinned woman with long dreads and a face that could grace a catwalk standing near the coffee table. “She's wasted. Back off,” she said in a tone that brooked no argument and I found myself smiling at her.
“That's Ava's...” Jake started, walking up, fumbling for a cover for what I was, “Friend,” he went with, putting an arm around Shay. “It's fine. She's fine...” he said, leading her away.
“I like Shay,” I told the top of Ava's head.
“She's good people,” Ava said, sounding sleepy as she scooted closer, resting her face on my chest like I liked.
It was my only chance.
“Who is Dr. Bowler babe?” I went with, knowing she was one of her shrinks. It was in her paperwork.
“She's my shrink. My other shrink. She's good people too. Even if she's right.”
“Right about what?”
“But I think she might be wrong. But maybe not. That's how it works, I guess.”
“How what works?”
She just shook her head though, taking a deep breath and snuggling closer. My arm went around her, pulling her close. “This is my spot,” she declared, tapping my chest with her hand.
Her spot.
Fuck.
Fuck yeah it was.
God damn it.
My other arm went around her too and I kissed the top of her head, not wanting to kill the moment with things like proper code of conduct. In that moment, I wasn't her doctor. She wasn't my patient. We were just two people.
“Yeah, baby, it is,” I agreed.
“Safest place in the world,” she said, drifting off to sleep.
Safest place in the world.
She thought my chest was the safest place in the world.
Fuck me.
Then I felt it. Strong. Sure. More sure than I had ever felt about anything in my life.
I loved her.
And it was nothing like I had thought.
It wasn't like sunshine. It wasn't like warmth.
No.
It was just an easy feeling.
It was knowing that given the choice between spending my night with her asleep on my chest or doing anything else in the world, I would choose her every single time.
Without thinking.
Easy.
What the fuck was I supposed to do now?
I held her to me, stroking up and down her back, through her hair, over her cheek, as the party dwindled down around us and all that was left was Shay and Jake. The former came over, dropped down on the coffee table right in front of me, her brown eyes seeming to x-ray right into my soul.
“So, you're really attractive,” she said, ripping a surprised laugh from my chest.
“Thanks.”
“I mean the tall, dark, scruffy, sexy thing is really working for you.”
“Thanks again,” I said, smiling. She would be good for Ava. Bold. Confident. Some of it could eventually, little by little, rub off on her.
“Now there's something I know about really attractive, tall, dark, scruffy, sexy men.”
“What's that?” I asked, Ava stirring against me and my arms instinctively tightened around her.
“They tend to trample shy and sweet girls with fragile hearts.”
“I have no intentions of trampling Ava,” I said honestly.
“Maybe not, but that doesn't mean you won't. So let me just get this straight right fucking now,” she said, her tone going from light and almost flirtatious to deep and stern in an instant. “You hurt my girl here, I am going to buy a cactus, find you, and shove it up your ass,” she said in a way that I didn't doubt her for a second. “'Kay?”
Again, I laughed. “I like you, Shay,” I told her honestly. Had I met her two weeks earlier, she would have been just my type.
“I like me too. And I like my girl. So toe the line and you won't have reason to dislike me.”
“Jesus Christ, Shay,” Jake broke in, sounding frustrated. “Leave the man alone.”
“I am just making it clear where things stand. Something I am assuming your ass forgot to do.”
“You don't underst...” Jake's eyes went to me and he sighed. “Whatever. I don't want to fucking argue over this. You're killing my buzz.”
“You should hit the sack anyway. Alone,” she clarified with a pointed look.
“Yeah. Okay, Mom.”
“Just saying... six o'clock is going to come before you know it.”
“I don't get up at six o'clock.”
“Well,” she said, slapping her hands down on her thighs before standing, “tomorrow you do.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?”
“Because you are helping me clean this apartment before Ava gets up.”
“Like hell I...”
“Go to fucking bed,” she said again, firmer. And damn if Jake didn't turn and go back to bed.
“See you in the morning, Dark and Sexy,” Shay said, not looking at me as she made her way to, what I assumed was Ava's bedroom. “I'm making breakfast.”
I was awake for a long time, trying to figure out how to get myself out of such a clusterfuck of a situation. I came up with nothing. Because Ava needed me. But she needed me to be Dr. Chase Hudson. She needed to have those boundaries so she could let down her guards and learn to be comfortable with men. She needed me in a professional capacity. She didn't need me pining for her. Admitting my feelings for her. She didn't need that pressure. That confusion.
She fucking needed me to get my shit together.
So that was what I needed to do.
The next morning.
After breakfast.
True to her word, Shay was up and showered in a pair of pajama pants and a tank top at six in the morning, banging down Jake's door until he opened and stepped out, bleary-eyed, but surprisingly following her orders.
Once the apartment was cleaned, Shay and Jake moved into the kitchen, working side by side to make breakfast and I got the distinct impression that something was brewing there. It was in the playful banter. In the arguing. In the long stares when the other wasn't looking.
Those two were going to have something going on. Soon.
I wondered how Ava would handle that.
As if on cue, Ava groaned, her eyes opening to squint at the bright morning light.
“Hey there, sleeping beauty.”
She shot up, body going tense, tilting her head to look at me. “Chase?”
“Yeah, babe,” I said, registering the pain in her brown eyes.
Then those eyes went wide as she, I imagined, tried to go over the events of the night. “Oh, god...” she said, burying her face in her hands. “Please tell me I didn't say anything stupid.”
“No, babe. You fell asleep almost as soon as I got here.”
She was silent a moment, still trying to piece the parts of the night together. “Why did you come?”
“I heard you yelling at someo
ne to stop touching you. He didn't seem to get the message. So I just wanted to make sure you were okay. If I had known what a guard dog Shay is, I wouldn't have been so worried.”
“Hey, us gals got to stick together,” Shay called from the kitchen, waving a spatula.
Her head snapped in the direction of Shay's voice and her mouth fell slightly open. “Okay. I think I woke up in some different dimension,” she said, looking around the clean apartment like it didn't make sense.
“Jake and I got up early to clean for you. I know you like things neat.”
“That was really sweet,” Ava said, sounding almost emotional. Like she never expected anyone to do anything nice for her. She probably didn't. “Wait. Did you say Jake got up early and cleaned?”
“Yeah,” Shay said, shrugging.
“Did you have him at gunpoint?”
“Girl, all you need to handle a man like him is a sharp tongue and a withering stare. Boy got sisters. He's trained to obey.”
“She's not wrong,” Jake said, giving me a 'what can 'ya do' look.
“Then how come you never do what I ask?” Ava countered, lowering her eyes at him.
“Because,” Shay answered. “You can't ask. You tell.”
“I'll have to keep that in mind,” Ava said, then as if suddenly realizing what position we were in, moved away from me, reaching to pull down the hem of her dress which had ridden up high on her thigh. “Alright. I need to go get some less... binding clothes,” she said, getting off of me and quickly making her way to her room.
“You looking to talk to her,” Shay broke in, not even looking up, “better go now before she gets herself all thinking on shit.”
With that, I got up off the couch and made my way into her bedroom to find her in her closet.
“I'll have the dress cleaned for you and bring it to work on Monday,” she said, obviously expecting Shay.
She turned slowly at my silence. “Hey baby.”
“Hey,” she said hesitantly, grabbing a towel and piling it with her clothes.
“Turn around,” I said, making my way toward her.
Her eyes flashed with desire and she slowly turned around, giving me a glorious view of the heart-shaped cut out in the back of her dress. My fingers went out and stroked the exposed skin and she shivered. “You look so sexy in this dress,” I told her.
“Thank you,” she said, accepting the compliment easily. Which was a step in the right direction.
My hands went to her shoulders, pressing into the knotted muscles she had from sleeping sitting up all night. She sank back into me, her head tilting to the side, a low groan escaping her lips. And, fuck, I couldn't help myself.
I leaned forward, tracking down her neck with my lips as her breath got more and more unsteady, as a tremble moved through her body.
“Okay. You should stop that,” she said weakly.
“Why? Are you getting wet for me baby?” I asked, half teasing.
She shocked the shit out of me when she answered, “Yes.”
“Good,” I murmured, moving up to nibble her earlobe. “I want you thinking about me every minute until Monday night. And every time you think of me, I want you to be wet.” There was a heavy silence and I knew my words were pushing her further and further toward the edge. “Think you can do that for me?”
“Yes.”
“Good. And when you get to my office,” I said, my nose moving across her neck, “you are going to be wearing a dress.”
“Why?”
“Because I am going to push you up against the wall, rip off your panties, lift up your skirt, and lick your clit until you are begging for release.”
She swallowed hard. “Anything else?”
God, she was going to kill me.
“You're not allowed to touch yourself at all until then.”
Not even a hesitation before, “Okay.”
“Good girl,” I praised her, then stepped away before I couldn't control myself anymore. “Now go get showered. Shay and Jake are almost done with breakfast.”
I walked out before she could say anything else, moving out toward the kitchen to where Jake was already holding out a coffee cup toward me.
“Talk go well?” Shay asked, scooping breakfast potatoes onto four plates.
“I guess,” I said, looking at Jake.
“You know... she's not as weak as everyone thinks she is,” Shay said, piling pancakes next to the potatoes. “Don't go walking on eggshells around her. She can put up with me being the badass bitch I am, and Jake being the pain in the ass jerk he is,” she said, her words almost affectionate when she raised a brow at Jake as if daring him to defend himself, “then she can put up with you being your normal alpha self.”
“My normal alpha self?” I asked, raising a brow, wondering how the hell she could read me so easily.
Her gaze met mine and her brow lifted in challenge. “You know what I mean. I'm just saying. You ain't doin' her or you no favors by hiding that. Honestly, I think she would eat that right up.”
“We are not having this conversation,” Jake broke in, looking uncomfortable.
“This guy fucks everything with legs capable of spreading and he thinks I'm being inappropriate,” she said, handing me a container of orange juice and nodding toward the table. I took this as some kind of instruction to fill the glasses she had Jake set on the table. So I did.
Behind us, Ava's door opened and I heard another door close before the water in the shower came on.
Shay barked out orders (mostly at Jake) until Ava came out to join us, hesitating when she walked out, watching us laugh over something that Shay said.
I turned and smiled at her, patting the chair next to me.
She sat down, looking uncomfortable, her eyes red and small and I handed her two aspirin I had gotten out of a bottle on the kitchen counter.
“Eat,” Shay told her. “And drink all that OJ or you're gonna feel like shit all day.”
Everyone ate. Jake and Shay kept up the lion's share of the conversation, mostly by bickering, but it was playful enough that Ava came out of her shell enough to laugh or roll her eyes at them.
“So how did you two meet?” Shay asked, point blank.
Ava's fork clattered onto her plate and I felt a lump lodge into my throat. Both of us were silent for too long. And in the end, it was Jake who saved us. “Jesus Christ. Could you be any more nosy?” he asked, leading them to spend the next five minutes having a heated argument. Which Shay won. Naturally. Jake gave me a sheepish smile and I nodded my chin to him in thanks as I squeezed Ava's knee under the table.
I left an hour later, stomach full to bursting and somehow more hollow than I had ever felt in my life.
In two days, I would be having sex with the only woman I ever really loved.
And then in just four more sessions, I would have to say goodbye to her.
For good.
Sixth Session
Ever try to concentrate on work when you have something amazing planned for after hours? Amplify that by about a thousand and you'd have some idea how I felt all day Monday.
By the time the door opened, I was in knots. Both in good and bad ways.
Because I couldn't wait to touch her. To taste her. To be inside her. To show her all the magnificent ways her body could feel. I wanted to show her that she could enjoy herself. I wanted to show her how she could enjoy me.
But also... in no time at all, she would be gone. She would move on enjoying herself. Then, one day, she would go onto enjoying other men.
I was tucking the test results I had meant to give to her five sessions ago into my pocket before looking up and... fuck.
I thought I liked the blue dress. The white one she was wearing put it to shame. Form fitting, a little low cut, short on the thigh. Verging on risque, but the color somehow kept it from being over the top sexual. It looked... sweet almost... Christ... virginal. Did she do that on purpose? Was it a mess
age? That this, for her, felt like the first time since all previous times had been so awful for her?
“Oh, baby,” I said, tilting my head and looking at her in a way that I was almost surprised her dress didn't catch fire from the heat.
She shifted her feet slightly, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I, ah, believe I was promised something that involved being... um... pushed against a wall,” she fumbled. But the stammer only proved to be all the more endearing.
I felt the smile creep up on my face. “That you were,” I agreed, crossing the floor, grabbing her by the back of her neck, and pressing my lips to hers, kissing her with every last drop of hope and frustration I felt. I slammed her back against the wall, my tongue slipping into her mouth as my hand slid between her soft thighs, finding her clit through her panties and stroking. “So wet,” I said against her lips.
“Chase...”
Whatever she was about to say was silenced by my ripping her panties off and lowering myself down on the floor before her. I looked up at her as I slowly inched up her skirt until it was bunched around her belly.
“Tell me it's for me.”
“Always,” she said without hesitation. “It's always for you.”
“Fuck, baby,” I groaned, grabbing her leg and placing it over my shoulder, not able to wait another second as I traced my tongue up her slick pussy until I found her clit and worked it until she was moaning, writhing, pulling my hair. Until she was almost there. Almost. Just when she was about to come, I pulled back.
“Chase...” she groaned, reaching for me as I looked up at her.
“Don't worry, baby. I am going to make you come tonight. Just not yet. First,” I said, taking my feet and reaching for her hand, “we need to go into the other room.”
I made drinks.
She put on blues.
Then I led her over toward the sectional, watching her nervously sip from her martini. She might have come in attempting confidence, but it was a show. She was nervous. I hadn't expected anything else. That was why we were going to take it slow. I was going to try to put her at ease... before anything happened.
The last thing in the fucking world I wanted to be was another of her regrets.
Dr. Chase Hudson (The Surrogate Book 2) Page 10
