All in for You

by David Horne

  “Will you just stop it, Pete?” Mercer demanded. This was so unlike him. Mercer was generally soft-spoken unless he had a good reason to be.

  “What?”

  “What happened? You aren’t fooling me. I know that something happened, and I want to know what it is. This has just gone so awkward. I don’t even know what’s going on, but it’s making things awkward between one of my best friends and my cousin and I don’t want to sit here in the dark.”

  The gambler sighed and rubbed his head. He hated this conversation. Nothing about it was comfortable and he knew that he was lying. “I just said nothing happened.”

  “That’s a load of shit.” Mercer wasn’t going to give up.

  “I told you, nothing happened.”

  “You want to tell me why Toby is casually mentioning taking a break from the writing group?”

  “I don’t know why he would do that.”

  Mercer audibly sighed over the phone. “Don’t tell me that. I know it has something to do with you. When I talked to him about it, there was something

  Pete was going to have to give in. Mercer wasn’t going to stop. He knew that. “We might have had something happen while we were there.”

  “What was it?”

  “Kind of a fling. Nothing serious.”

  “That’s a lie,” Mercer called it immediately. This wasn’t normal behavior for the man. Mercer had something on his mind.

  “What’s a lie?”

  “That it wasn’t serious. I can hear it in your voice and it was showing on his face.”

  “What’s up with you? You never do stuff like this.” Pete felt a little incredulous at the way this man was talking. “I didn’t do anything. We had the thing, then we got back and he never called. Is that what you want to hear?”

  Mercer sighed. “Did you call him?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Why would I?” The gambler was so frustrated by this conversation. He didn’t like having it.

  “Because you like him.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Because you haven’t called him yet.” Mercer was frowning.

  Pete shook his head. “Stop it. I’m not going to call.”

  “Are you sitting there waiting for him to call?” Mercer wasn’t letting up on this. There was not going to be a way to win this, but Pete was sure going to give it a try.

  “No, not really.” Pete shook his head, not caring that the other man couldn’t see him. They were just two voices on either end of the line. Two voices that felt a million miles apart. Pete felt a million miles away from everyone in his life.

  The cousin gave an exasperated sigh. “Why not?”

  “If he wanted to call, he would call me.”

  “Are you so sure about that?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean.” Pete got up to start to pace. He didn’t know what to say about any of this, but he felt the need to say something. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. It was just a thing that happened in Vegas. It’s no big deal.”

  “It is a big deal, and did you ever think that he’s not calling you for the same reasons that you’re not calling him?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Pete was feeling frustrated.

  “That you are human. Just like he’s human. And if you’re nervous about it, there’s a good chance that he’s nervous about it too.”

  “Fine. I’ll call him.”

  “Call him. I’m hanging up now.” Mercer released the line, leaving Pete to his own devices.

  That was never a good idea. Pete’s devices always worked against him. It was being left to his own devices that had him staring at his phone for so long.

  Pete pondered whether or not he was going to do it for a while.

  For almost an hour he paced and tortured himself. He didn’t want to be the one to make that call. It would probably just lead to heartbreak. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing his mind and his heart to a man who was going to…

  Then his phone rang. He looked at the screen. It was Toby. Toby was calling. Pete felt himself struggling with the knowledge that he had been a coward. He could have been the first to call, but Mercer must have confronted the other man just the same as he had been confronted by his cousin.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Toby didn’t know what made him call. Maybe it had something to do with what Mercer had called and told him, but he wasn’t so sure. He had wanted to call since they had separated at the hotel.

  And now he was at the doorstep of Pete’s apartment. And he wasn’t sure of what to do. Just steps away from the man who had captured his attention, he felt the urge to run away out of a fear of the unknown. He knew what it was. It was that fear that followed any major step in life.

  And while most people would consider this a minor thing, just meeting a guy that he had shared a fling within the oasis of the desert, he knew it was something more than that. It had to be more than that. Pete was something special. He had become special to the writer and that mattered.

  A fling wouldn’t leave this tightness in his chest. It wouldn’t make him short of breath. It would have broken his heart when it had felt like the man had forgotten him. And it wouldn’t bring this kind of fear when they met again.

  There was a brief moment that the man wondered if he should just leave the place and go back home. He didn’t know what would come of this visit. They were just supposed to talk and figure stuff out. That was what they had figured out when they had talked on the phone.

  The gambler opened the door before he had a chance to knock. And Toby stepped back. He had been taken by surprise. That was the reason. He wasn’t going to run away now. There was no way he would ever make that decision.

  The gambler didn’t hesitate. He didn’t pull back. Pete pulled Toby inside the apartment and into a warm embrace. His arms were undeniably comforting, seeming to answer every one of the doubts that he had before the door had opened.

  Then the kiss started, two bodies needing each other. Toby didn’t stop it from happening, falling into the kiss as the door swung closed behind them, unaided by their motions. There was no stopping this, they needed to be together.

  They fell together on the couch. The writer was reminded of how they had first come together on the couch of that hotel room.

  But this couch was different. This was Pete’s apartment. And they had gotten together even after the shiny lights of Las Vegas had faded away, slipping off into obscurity. What they had was lasting longer than he had thought.

  His mind raced. His heart thumped. There was something about the moment that made words hard, but there were things that needed to be talked about. This guy was something special and he didn’t want to let go of him. There were feelings that he couldn’t stop feeling. He hadn’t stopped feeling them from the moment that they had separated. He knew what he thought it was, but he wasn’t sure if this was the right time to bring it up.

  Toby decided to talk about them later, right now they had bodies that were demanding all the attention. They couldn’t stop. There was no way to stop.

  The heat was undeniable. Clothes were tossed to the side. No time to talk or discuss. There would be time for that after.

  The writer couldn’t say when the lube showed up, but it showed up and in moments they were moving together, touching, feeling the need. There was no slow lead-up, they both just dove right into each other.

  Pete shifted to let Toby roll over onto his stomach and get up on his hands and knees.

  The feel of the lubed shaft starting to make its way into his body left the writer breathless.

  They were neck-deep in their passion by the time either of them quieted enough to notice how loud they were getting. There was no time. At least that was what it felt like. Toby groaned in ecstasy as their bodies slammed together in need. “God.”

  “I missed this so much.” Pete moaned back to him, starting to move faster.

  “Yeah.
” The writer was breathless.

  The gambler’s eyes were half-closed as Toby looked at the man, the end of the high starting to rush toward the inevitable conclusion of their lust.

  And that conclusion was on the way, unstoppable. Not that either of them had any desire to stop the rush that they were feeling.

  Toby got loud as he crested that impossible ridge of desire. He didn’t care if the neighbors heard him or not.

  Pete didn’t seem to care about that either. As they fell from the heights of passion into the warm comfort of each other’s arms they shared a sigh.

  “Hey.” Toby finally said something.

  Pete laughed lightly. “Hey.”

  “Looks like we got that out of the way.”

  “Sure did.”

  Toby smiled softly. “How are you feeling?”

  “Damn good right now.” Pete pulled Toby into his arms. It was nice and warm there. “I’m glad you showed up.”

  “I’m glad I did too. I probably wouldn’t have if Mercer hadn’t called and talked some sense into me.”

  “He did the same to me, but you called first.”

  Toby grinned. “That means that I get credit for it.”

  The gambler laughed loudly this time. “Hey, I’ll give you credit. It got done at least.”

  “Are you glad that it got done?”

  Pete took a second to chew on the words before he spoke them. It made Toby frown a bit to wait for a response. That didn’t feel like a good sign. When Pete finally spoke, it was like a breath of fresh air. “Yeah, yeah I am.”

  “Good.” But Toby felt the edge of doubt toy at the back of his mind. “I’m glad that you invited me over.”

  “Why would I do anything else?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know how you feel.” Toby shook his head. “It bothers me a lot.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m just not very expressive I guess.” Pete shrugged. “But I know a few things about you.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you.”

  Toby felt his heart stop beating for a second. He didn’t know what to say. He knew what he felt. He felt the same way about the man who was currently wrapped around him. He gulped and nodded.

  “Did I say something wrong?”

  Toby shook his head. “No, no. Nothing like that.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I don’t know what to say. It’s all so weird. I think I feel the same way about you.”

  “It’s so early, I know.” Pete squeezed Toby’s shoulder.

  The writer shivered when he felt the warmth of the body next to his. The guy was comfortable, he had to admit that. And it was so easy to be in love with him. Toby knew that he was falling and when he fully fell, it was going to be hard, but he had to try to keep some sense about him.

  He had some doubts. A few fears. He understood that they were natural for humans in this sort of situation. It felt like it was all far too fictional.

  Maybe that was his problem. He could not always realize when things were very real.

  Pete wasn’t going to let him think for very long. “What’s on your mind?”

  “Just thinking about stuff.” Toby shrugged.

  “Good stuff or bad stuff?”

  “I don’t know kind of stuff.” The man shrugged. “I guess that’s just what it is. This has all been happening. And I love you. I know I do. It’s kind of crazy. I know that it is. I guess that’s what makes it kind of strange.”

  “Yeah, it does. It’s so early, but I feel strongly about you. I don’t want to spend too much time without you. I know that it’s still going to take time, but I want to give it a try.”

  Toby smiled softly. “Suddenly you have all the right words to say.”

  “Yeah, I guess I do.” Pete shrugged. “I don’t know where they came from.”

  “It’s all right. I don’t always know where my words come from either.” Toby smiled a little wider. “But hearing you say them, those are all the things that I wanted to say.”

  “Are you going to steal them for a book?”

  “Maybe?” The writer laughed. “I might use them at some point. If I get a case of writer’s block in a romantic moment.”

  “Well, they do say that you should write what you know.” Pete was grinning back at the writer.

  “Have you been researching my job?”

  “No, I just remembered it was what my English teacher in college said. And he said it over and over, trying to get us to get it.”

  “It’s good advice.” Toby laughed. “But it forgets the fact that you can always learn new things and get to know them. That’s why I went to Vegas with you.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Another squeeze of Pete’s arm that was across Toby’s shoulders.

  “Good.”

  “So, what now?”

  “Now I guess we should start dating or something.”

  “Haven’t we already been dating?”

  “Was it really a date?”

  Toby shrugged. “I think it would count as a date; we even took a romantic gondola ride.”

  “Then maybe we should just make it official. Be able to say that we’re dating and stuff. Start talking about where we go next. Do all that stuff.”

  “I feel like we already skipped a few steps.” Toby laughed. “And went right to the hot and heavy stage.”

  “We got to know each other pretty well, yeah.” Pete grinned. “But I’m glad that I did it. It was one of the best ideas I’ve ever had in my life.”

  “When I first showed up, I thought that you hated me.”

  “I hated the fact that there was someone there. It wasn’t you. You were attractive and I didn’t like being attracted to you.” Pete shrugged. “I didn’t handle it well. It was just a confusing mess of emotions that I didn’t have any interest in handling.”

  “Yeah, I know that feeling. You were intimidating. And confusing.”

  “I tried to keep my poker face up.”

  “That made you rude.” Toby laughed. “Which made you even more intimidating.”

  “Were you really scared of me?”

  “I’m not exactly a social butterfly. Even trying that was so out of character for me. I usually just stay home and do all my research on the internet. I don’t shadow people.” The writer shook his head. “Mercer was the one that suggested it. He even had to talk me into it.”

  “I’m glad he did.”

  “I am too.” Toby’s smile wasn’t fading. He had a feeling that it wasn’t going to fade for a good long time. This was right where he belonged and it seemed like everything had worked itself out.

  Whatever was going to become, Toby knew that this was a day that would exist in his memory for the rest of his days. Pete was an amazing guy with an amazing heart. He was someone who had agreed to do something that he hated and then it turned out to be something amazing for both of them. He was grateful for it.

  The writer closed his eyes and listened to the heartbeat of the man who shared this moment with him.

  “Going to sleep already?” Pete’s voice broke the comfortable silence, but it wasn’t unwelcome.

  “No, just listening.”

  “To what?”

  “Well, my head is on your chest, so I would have to say your heartbeat.” Toby laughed.

  “That makes sense. Comfortable there?”

  “Yeah, pretty comfortable.” Toby was still smiling. “How could I be anything but comfortable now that I’m here with you.”

  “We still have some talking to do.”

  “I know.”

  “Do you want to do that now? Or wait until after the glow fades.”

  “If we wait that long I may just fall asleep on you.”

  Pete laughed. “Do you need to get some sleep? We can talk in the morning if you don’t have anything else to do.”

  “No, let’s talk about it now.” Toby stretched. “Get it out of the way. I know that I’m in love with you.
I also know that it’s considered a really bad idea this early in our relationship. Being in love never feels quite like you stand on solid ground. At least that’s what I read about it. It’s a connection of two lives.”

  “Do you often spout poetry?”

  “I don’t know, maybe? Maybe I’m just being descriptive. Love is such a weird thing and I don’t want to end up hurting you.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you either. Tell you what, we’ll take it slow and figure it out as we go along. We don’t need to go and move in together yet or anything like that.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “And maybe I can ask you to come with me on my next trip. Might be nice to spend that time together.”

  “I would like that.” Toby grinned. “Do you know when it is yet?”

  “Next month. Just for two days, though. Going to Atlantic City for another tournament.”

  Toby nodded. “I’ve never been there. It might be nice.”

  “Then it’s a plan. We’ll get our flights taken care of and we can share a room this time.”

  Epilogue

  Pete slowly packed his suitcase. Yet another trip was on the horizon. But this one was going to be different. He had big plans.

  Toby would be there soon then they would go to the airport together and it would be time to ask. He wanted to wait to ask once they had gotten back to Vegas, but he was far too eager to wait. He would do it here, where there would be a private moment to discuss what it meant if that was something that needed to happen.

  The knock sounded on the door. Toby was early. It was something that he had learned. Toby was almost always early. It was something that made him smile because he wouldn’t be able to torture himself for very long.

  He swept himself over to the door and opened it. There he was, Toby. “Hey.” He tried to play it cool, brushing his hair out of his face.

  Toby laughed.

  “What?” Pete asked.

  “You just did that 90s teen idol hair flip.”