by Madison Faye
* * *
She had a dreamless sleep for once, but when she woke both Trevor and Brent were gone. In a panic she threw on her clothes and rushed out of the camper. Trevor’s bike was there, but he and Brent were nowhere to be seen. Overwhelmed, her eyes filled with tears and she sat where she was on the steps of her camper. She didn’t even have his cell number anymore.
“Mom?” Brent’s little voice squeaked and her head shot up. “Why are you crying?” Trevor was behind him holding a tray with drinks, a paper bag, and a concerned expression.
“Buddy, why don’t you go inside and get us some paper plates? I saw some on the shelf,” Trevor asked. Brent eyed both Trevor and her before nodding. He kissed her cheek as he walked by.
“It’s okay, Mom, Trevor’s here now. He’ll protect us.” Her son’s words made her press her lips tight to hold her emotion at bay. When the door slapped shut, Trevor sat beside her.
“What’s going on?” He set the tray between his legs and plucked a cup from it, passing it to her.
“Nothing.”
“It’s not nothing, Layla.” She looked at his hard expression as he sighed. “It’s time you start being honest with me.”
“Fine!” she said angrily. “I thought you took my son and left.”
“I thought he was my son too.” He pulled his own cup out of the holder and took a sip. “Isn’t that why you told me?” His words were so patient they annoyed her.
“I told you because I thought I was going to die.” She looked away.
“Little girl, you should have told me when you found out you were pregnant. I’m holding my anger back because you’ve been through hell, but don’t you push me with that bullshit.”
“I had my reasons.”
“There’s not one goddamned reason I can think of to excuse denying me my son, or him a father.”
“How about the fact that you said we weren’t ready to even give me a property patch. A kid is a hell of a lot more commitment than that.” She winced when he growled.
“So because I wasn’t ready for us meant I wasn’t ready for my kid?” The anger in his voice made her swallow hard. “Was this to punish me?” Her head turned swiftly and her eyes pinned his.
“Of course not!”
“Something happened to us, babe, and it wasn’t good. We needed to straighten that out before anything else, but I wasn’t through with you. You left me. And if I knew you were pregnant, I would have forced the issue. But now, Layla, your life is a wreck and I won’t have you screw up Brent’s. If I have to, I will fight for him. You need to fix your life.”
She nodded. “I know I do.” Her voice was soft and it shook with fear. If only she could tell him why her life was such a mess. Maybe then she could heal.
He handed her the paper bag. “Tell Brent I’ll be back to see him later.” He started to walk toward his bike and Layla let out a sob.
“We’ll talk then too, babe. You and me, as soon as he’s asleep. We’ll get to the bottom of this.” His face was a storm of emotion as he got on his bike and took off. Layla bit her fist to keep the rest of her sobs inside.
“Mom? Where’d Trevor go?”
“Honey, that’s not Trevor, that’s your dad.”
Chapter Five
When he came back later, Layla stayed outside while he spent time with his son. He kept his irritation buried so Brent wouldn’t feel it.
“You ever read that kid wizard book?”
“Harry Potter?”
“Yeah, that’s the one.”
“Um, I can read some, but I’m only in the first grade.” He seemed sad and Trevor wondered what Layla had done.
“I can read them to you,” he said. Brent smiled and nodded but then his face fell again. “What’s wrong, buddy?”
“My mom said you’re my dad.”
Trevor swallowed hard. “Yeah, she told me that too.” Brent’s brows went high and his eyes widened.
“You didn’t know either?”
“No.” Trevor reached over to tousle the kid’s hair. “I’m glad I am though.” He smiled. “You’re a pretty great kid.” Brent’s face brightened.
“Will you be moving in with us?”
Trevor looked out the screen door at Layla. She sat on an old lawn chair, smoking a cigarette. “Your mom and I have some things to discuss before we make any decisions like that, but whether we live together or apart, I’ll still be your dad.”
“Can I call you Dad?”
“Hell, yeah, you can.” He pulled Brent onto his lap. “And for now how about I come every night to read to you and tuck you in?”
“I’d like that, Dad.” Brent set his small head on Trevor’s chest and Trevor felt as if his heart had melted. No matter what had happened with Layla, who she’d become, Brent had turned out to be an amazing kid.
He tucked him into the bed and left the trailer, the door slapping shut behind him. Layla was still sitting in the lawn chair, only he realized it wasn’t a cigarette she was smoking. It was marijuana. Jesus!
“Give me that,” he said, taking it from her and tossing it in the fire pit. “God, you need your ass spanked.”
“Trevor!” Her angry words didn’t even give him pause. He grabbed her arm and yanked her up. “Let’s go out back and talk.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” She sounded like a petulant child and he shook his head.
Once they were far enough back from the trailer and the camp where they could still see the camper but not be heard, Trevor sat on a fallen log and pulled her down beside him.
“I don’t know what kind of shit has been going on Layla, but it stops now.” His jaw tightened as he jabbed his finger into his thigh. She folded her arms across her chest, closing herself off with her body language.
“Just because you rescued us, just because you’re Brent’s dad, just because we have a past…” Trevor cut off her words, grabbed her shoulders, and kissed her. It was hard and angry but he’d wanted to feel her lips against his for so long it didn’t matter. It only took a few seconds for her to melt against him and return his kiss with fervor.
“Baby?” Trevor noted her expression was as hard as her lips had been but her lids were heavy over her heated blue eyes. “Daddy’s here and we’re going to make everything right.” Layla swallowed hard, but nodded.
And before her attitude turned defensive and snarky again, Trevor pulled her across his knee. She was wearing those ridiculously short shorts again and for once he was glad. Her cheeks peeked out from the frayed edges and he wanted her bare skin to feel his palm.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m spanking your bottom, baby bunny. This is what you’ve needed for a long time and I’ve been neglectful in giving it.”
A garbled mewl fell from her lips and he knew his words went straight to her heart. Guilt was heavy in his gut. It was the truth. He’d neglected to be what she needed all along. He put his own trauma ahead of everything else, thinking he was protecting her, but maybe there was more to it than that. Maybe he’d been protecting himself. He’d lost friends—friends who were his only family over there. With the way she’d changed, he figured he wasn’t what she wanted anymore.
He swatted her right cheek a dozen times and he expected her to fight him. That was the kind of woman she’d become after all. Not the soft, submissive, and yet fiery girl he left when he went on tour. She had become tough, gritty, and full of defensive sass.
“Daddy?” Layla’s small voice went straight to his heart.
“Yes?”
“I’m so sorry.” And with that she grabbed his hand and held on tight. “You’re right. I’ve needed this for so long. All of this. Your protection, your care, your hand scorching my butt. Please, Daddy, show me we can fix things. Help me be the mother I should be and the kind of woman you can love again.” She choked out a sob and her vulnerability hit him in the gut so hard it felt corporeal.
Speaking was out of the question as his own emotions had taken him over so he
just spanked her. Each swat equally filled with love and stern correction.
“There is so much I need to tell you—so much that happened in these years…” A whimper followed her words and he pulled her up onto his knee. “But I’m afraid.”
“No, baby. Not today. Today we start fresh. This will clean our slate and then we’ll figure out the rest together.” He wrapped his hand around her neck and pulled her forward to give her a peck on the lips. Her red-rimmed eyes fluttered down submissively.
“Now, up you get, little girl. Daddy wants those shorts and panties down. You’re not done yet.” He held back a smirk as Layla shivered.
“Yes, Daddy.” She shimmied down the shorts and she was bare. He narrowed his eyes.
“From now on, you better be wearing panties, young lady.” He took her hand and helped her across his lap again. Her bottom was pink from his attention already so he wasted no more time and started her spanking again. She squirmed across his lap as his hand landed a dozen on one side and a dozen on the other. Each cheek being brought to a good burn before he turned his attention to the other.
“I’m not spanking my baby bunny for what’s happened between us. I think that’s on both of us. But you need a red butt to know I care, and I won’t let you make the kind of decisions you’ve made these last few years anymore. No more drinking, smoking, and doing recreational drugs. No more letting Brent grow up in a filthy trailer with an absent mother and strange men coming and going. You’ve been hurting yourself and our son, baby. No more. Daddy’s here to protect you both. Daddy’s keeping his family safe.”
Layla started sobbing and although he was spanking her pretty hard, he was only using his hand. She was crying over his words, not the sting to her backside. His heart squeezed in his chest and his own breath stuck. Maybe things had been more his fault all these years than hers. Suddenly she started to struggle against him and he let her up.
“I’ve needed to hear that from you for so long.” She hiccupped and although his submissive baby bunny was gone, he could see hurt was the motivator in her anger then. “You failed me before, Trevor, and I can’t trust you won’t again.” She yanked up her shorts and he should have grabbed her, pulled her against him, let her fight him while he held her tight, but instead he was too hurt to move.
“I will be a better mother to my son. I will get help for my issues. I will be a better person. But I will never again put my trust in someone else to protect me and keep me safe.” With that Layla spun on her heel and took off.
* * *
Layla went straight to Tonalonka, the camp Fitz and his old lady, Addi, owned. It was originally a camp for troubled boys owned by Ray Moore, Addi’s uncle, and a teenaged Fitz worked there as part of his release from the youth offender facility. It was also where Addi and Fitz first fell in love at sixteen, and then again recently, but since Ray had died it had been willed to Addi and Fitz.
Tonalonka was probably the last place she’d be wanted since she’d been a jerk to both Fitz and Addi, but she had to make amends and she needed help. Addi had amazed Layla with her strength during their ordeal. She’d seriously kicked ass at the Grinders clubhouse and that’s just what Layla needed to learn.
It’s what she should have done years ago instead of trying to get protection from Trevor and The Iron Code. Maybe if she’d taken self-defense, Trevor wouldn’t have had to rescue her. Except even thinking about Trevor made her heart ache. She still loved him. And his spanking had sparked arousal in her she hadn’t felt since before she’d been raped.
All the men, and there were many, weren’t because she was desperate for sexual release. She let out a verbal pfft. She never even came with those men, although some of them were more than skilled. She just couldn’t come anymore. She was broken.
She understood it somewhat by reading self-help books. She was trying to take control of her sexual encounters, choosing men who let her take the lead. And she was living up to Greg’s assessment of her. She was exactly what Greg had made her feel like: worthless, slutty, trash. She pulled in a breath as she turned into the drive of the camp. This wouldn’t be easy but then, her life hadn’t been easy in years.
After parking the car, she got out on shaking legs. Fitz watched her. Even his eyes held concern for her. Concern she didn’t deserve as she’d made a mess of everything by getting captured by his old MC.
She swallowed hard, waiting for his expression to change to his usual critical one. She’d taken him home a few times. He was one of the skillful lovers she’d been with, but even still she hadn’t wanted to be with him. She hadn’t wanted anyone but Trevor. She’d only used the handsome surly biker to make Trevor jealous.
“You should be at home resting, Layla.” It was the nicest Drew had been to her in a long, long time. He looked at his watch. “It’s nine o’clock. Late to be visiting.”
“Shoot. I didn’t even think. I’m sorry. I just came here to see Addi, and…” she lowered her gaze to the gravel beneath her feet, “and to apologize.”
“Nothing to apologize for, Layla. You didn’t cause this shit. My father did.” He walked closer, extending an arm to touch her shoulder. “I’m glad you and Brent are okay.”
“Thanks, Fitz, but we both know I broke into your trailer and took your keys and sold information to that reporter, Rebecca Snow.”
“It’s Drew, hon. I’m not hiding behind that name anymore. And it’s okay. Believe it or not, all this coming out was the best thing to happen.”
Layla smiled. It was good his life was finally getting better. He had been in hiding from his father and the Skull Grinders for ten years.
“I’ll get Addi. But Layla?”
She paused and looked at Drew’s stern face. “Yeah?”
“Not too long. Addi’s had a rough few days too.”
Layla nodded, understanding.
“I’m right here. What’s up?” Addi was short, with dark hair and beautiful eyes. She always looked classy and so put together, but today she looked like she’d been working in a factory. She was covered in sawdust and dirt.
“I need, uh, some help,” Layla said and shot a nervous look at Drew. Addi glanced at her boyfriend too and then waved Layla to follow her.
“Come on into the office. It’s still boiling out here even so late. The office has AC.”
When they got into the office, Layla felt calmer. She sat in a chair and while Addi sat on the edge of the desk.
“I want to learn self-defense. I was hoping you could teach me.”
Addi cocked her head to the side. “You know the Grinders are locked up and won’t be getting out, right?”
Layla lowered her eyes. “I know. It’s not all about what just happened, Addi. It’s more than that.” Her eyes found Addi’s and she gathered a breath. “I’ve been hurt before.”
Addi didn’t push her to talk about it and Layla was glad for that, but what Addi did do was offer to take her to the class she’d joined.
“I’ve been going to a guy in Toronto. He’s really good. I’m looking to hire him for the camp, but I wanted to make sure he’ll work out here. You’d actually be helping me out if you came along. I need him to help teach survivors like you. And I need to know he can do that in a way that will make our campers feel safe and secure—not bring back their trauma.” Addi stood. “What do you say? No cost to you. Come with me?”
“Oh, my God, Addi. That would be amazing. Thank you so much.”
“Great! Can you get someone to watch Brent on Wednesday evenings? It’s a bit of a drive for now, but if I hire him, he’ll be coming to town in a few months.”
“I will, Addi. Thank you!” Layla jumped out of her chair and wrapped her arms around Addi in a tight quick hug.
“And Layla, why don’t you bring Brent by later in the week when he’s feeling up to it. We’d love to see him.”
“He’d like that. You’ve both been so good with him.”
With her new self-improvement plans, she drove back to her trailer. Trevor w
as pissed since she basically just ditched him with Brent and was sitting on the steps of the trailer, tapping his big black tactical boot swiftly.
“I’m back. You can go.” She didn’t even look at him, just walked up the steps past him, ignoring his curse.
Chapter Six
Trevor had the urge to ride through town and keep going. He needed to clear his head, but he didn’t want to be too far away in case they needed him. Because no matter what Layla said or did, he’d be there to protect them and keep them safe. He kept picturing Brent’s tough little scowl and the way he’d rushed to his mother, not for support, but to protect her when they had been held by the Skull Grinders and the way Layla’s face was battered, and yet she was determined to be strong for her son. Their son.
Layla was strong. Brent too. But they would be stronger together as a family.
Then there was the other thing he noticed when she broke down her wall and called him Daddy. It was a haunted look behind her eyes. It had been there before the Skull Grinders took her, but he’d never acknowledged it. She was hiding something from him. Something bad. And her reaction to him saying he’d protect them and keep them safe? That was definitely weird. But weeks had passed since then and he couldn’t get anything out of her and it was seriously pissing him off. She’d only been allowing him in to read to Brent at night.
Trevor ended up at the clubhouse where most of the members were chilling around the big screen. One of the newly patched members was a former MLB player who had been hurt early in his career. The game was on and he was eagerly watching. The others might not have been as interested but they watched with their brother. A couple of the club whores were poised on laps and another was giving Loki a head massage.
Trevor grabbed a beer from the fridge and plopped himself on the leather sofa.
“Hey, Gunner, you want some company?” Jennifer was the club whore he’d known the longest. She was a smart girl who had made some bad choices in life and was hiding from them. She was also gorgeous and sweet, but he shook his head. There hadn’t been anyone that had really interested him since Layla. That’s not to say he’d been a monk. Jennifer had been an amazing distraction on many nights, but not tonight. Maybe not ever again. If he’d learned anything at all since all this went down with the Grinders, it was that he couldn’t deny his love for Layla was real and not something he could wish away.
