by Zoey Derrick
“I’m going to see if we have what we need to try and find out. We’re all going to make ourselves crazy if we keep fretting over this and I can’t take it anymore.” He stands up as soon as I’m pressed back against Kyle and his arms and legs are wrapped around me. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He leans down, kisses my forehead, then kisses Kyle’s, before stepping out and wrapping a towel around his waist.
“Is he okay?” I ask Kyle.
“I think he’s freaking out, but I think he recognizes how much you and I need him, so he’s trying to be strong.”
“What about you, cowboy?”
“I’m freaking out. But,” his hand rubs along my stomach, “either way, I’ll be good. I just need to get past the unknown. That’s all.” I put my hand on top of his and we lay there. My early wake up, my panic and emotional drain catches up and I nearly fall asleep before Talon returns. He has a bag in his hand.
“She got like, four boxes. What did you tell her, Kyle?”
“I didn’t know what to get, so I’m assuming she grabbed a couple different brands.”
Picturing Tori in a drug store, buying pregnancy tests for me, almost makes me laugh. Almost. ”What do you say, baby girl, should we give this a go?” I nod and he unwraps his legs from around me, giving me room to stand up. “No, stay, let me get some towels,” Kyle says as he climbs out.
“Talon?”
“Yes, angel?”
“How are you doing?” I ask.
“I’m better now, I think. I just need answers. My mind will run a thousand and one different scenarios and I need to turn them off.”
“Even if it comes back negative, we’re not necessarily in the clear. You do understand that, right?”
He gives me a small smile. “I do, but at least it’s something I can work with. If it’s negative, how long will we need to wait for another test?”
“I’m going to say a couple of days. Maybe Friday. Unless my period shows up between now and then.” He nods. “If it’s positive, we’ll figure it out, I promise.”
He leans down, kissing my head. “I know we will. We always do,” he says as Kyle comes back with a stack of towels, one is wrapped around his waist. He sets the rest on the sink and he hands one to Talon, who opens it up for me. I stand up. He wraps the towel around me and begins rubbing me dry.
Once he’s done, I kick them out. “I’ll let you back in when I’m done. I can’t pee with an audience.” They leave reluctantly and I sit down, peeing on a stick, my heart rate rising further with each passing second. Once I’m done, I put the little cap on it and lay it flat on the counter. It’s one of those digital ones, so there is an hourglass flashing. I open the door. I want to climb back into the bathtub but they’re both sitting on the bed.
I walk over to them and they both wrap their arms around me. Holding me to them. “I have a better idea,” I say and I step around them and climb onto the bed, dropping my towel in the process. Talon gets up and comes around the bed to his usual spot and Kyle lays down behind me, his front to my back. “Turn around, big man, let me hold you.” He rolls over and backs up. I push one arm under his head and the other under his arm and I rub my fingers along his tight stomach muscles. Much the same as Kyle is doing with me.
“How long do we have to wait?” Talon asks.
“About three minutes or so,” I say and kiss him between his shoulders.
“Want me to go look?”
“No Talon, I don’t want you to move right now. I just want to lay here between the two of you.”
No one says anything for about fifteen minutes. “Okay, I can’t take it anymore,” Kyle says.
“Okay, let’s go.” I move to sit up.
“Let us look, angel. You stay put.”
“I’m freaking out just as much as you are, you know?”
“I know, but let us look first,” Kyle says. “We will be right back.”
“Guys, what’s going on?” I call out after what seems like an eternity but is really just a couple of minutes.
They both come back onto the bed. Kyle slides in behind me, Talon slides in front of me. “Look,” Kyle says as he shows me the stick. ‘Not pregnant’ stands out like the biggest, brightest, sign I’ve ever seen.
Relief washes through me. “My god,” I breathe. I look at both of them and they both seem a little sad. “What? You’re not happy about this?” I ask.
“We are and we aren’t.”
“Whoa, wait a minute. Not ten minutes ago the two of you were somber ducks, now you’re disappointed that I’m not pregnant, or that the test says I’m not.”
That conversation, the one we had back on the bus, when they were talking about my nipples, Talon’s slip, plays through my mind. “I think you’ll be sexy as hell when you’re pregnant.” Kyle says as he reaches back to set the test on the table, then comes back and wraps his arms around me.
“I’m scared shitless, but I think, while lying in the tub I realized that while the prospect scares the living shit out of me, I might be a little excited about the idea of one day having a baby with you.” Talon smiles. Though it’s not his normal bright smile, it’s better than what it was earlier.
“What if it’s Kyle’s?” I tease. He wraps his arms around me, between Kyle and me.
“I don’t think I’ll care, or even want to find out.”
“Gah, you guys are maddening, you know that?”
And in tandem they both thrust their hips at me and I can feel their erections. One probing in the front, the other in the back.
I lift my leg and wrap it around Talon’s hip. “Are you going for trying to knock me up?” I ask and they both thrust again. I groan. I feel Talon shifting his hips again, and this time I can feel the head of his cock probing at my entrance. Kyle shifts, reaching for something. When he comes back he has a bottle of lube in his hand. I moan and Talon dips the head of his cock inside, just teasing, just barely stretching me.
Talon cups my breast in his hand and I can feel Kyle stroking his cock, lubing himself up. “Oh fuck,” I groan and feel Kyle pressing against my tight ring. Talon releases my breast from his fingers and he reaches under my leg, lifting it. Giving them both access to my inner most parts.
They’re both probing gently as I writhe. Talon’s mouth finds a nipple and he licks, then sucks it into his mouth. I moan, relaxing and opening for them.
We spend the next two hours like that. Talon and Kyle trading positions and loving on me as hard as they can. That is until I can no longer keep my eyes open. I’m exhausted and I have so much work to do, but I fall asleep in their arms.
When I wake up, there are two boxes, along with all of my luggage, stacked in the room, but the guys are nowhere to be found. Obviously they packed me up, but I needed to go through that stuff. Shit, what am I going to wear tonight? What the hell time is it anyway? I roll over to look at the clock. “Shit.” It’s nearly two and we have to leave by four. I stretch; my body is deliciously sore from their treatment of me earlier. I soak up the aches, but my stomach is rolling. I swallow hard. God, I hope I’m not getting sick. Then the image of the ‘not pregnant’ test comes to mind. Relieved, yes. Disappointed that it wasn’t positive? I’m surprised by the realization that for some reason I wanted it to be positive.
For just the briefest of moments, hope blossomed. When you’ve spent the majority of your adult life on birth control dealing with the problems that I have, that tiny ounce of hope was enough to wash all doubt away. It would certainly explain a few things. Like the fatigue I feel. I was tired after only being at the mall for an hour yesterday. Eating rejuvenated me, but it didn’t last long. I’m glad they came to meet me because it was the boost in energy I needed to keep me going. Hell, I passed out on them last night.
To top that off, I feel bloated and my breasts feel heavier. I’d chalk it up to normal, pre-period behavior, but rarely have my breasts been a factor. Then again, Talon was latched onto them for the longest time this morning.
I stre
tch and the nausea rolls through me again, but it passes quickly. I head for the shower.
“Baby girl?” I hear Kyle call from the bedroom.
“In here,” I holler back. I just finished putting on my bra and panties. I found them laid out for me on the bathroom counter.
“Hey, you doing okay?” he asks from the doorway of the bathroom.
“Yes and no,” I tell him. It’s true. I still don’t feel at a hundred percent; add to that the disappointment still plaguing me. When I was in the shower, I couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to be pregnant, and that of course brought me back down emotionally.
“What’s wrong?” Kyle asks as he comes to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me on my neck.
“Yes, I’m okay, and no I’m not. I’m not because I’m not feeling the best. I haven’t really been feeling great since we got here, but I just chalked it up to the fact that I’ve been so tired.”
He looks at me in the mirror, his blue eyes meeting my too bright green eyes. “What can I do?” he asks and I’m not sure I have an answer for him.
“I don’t know, to be honest. I’m not sure if I’m catching a cold, or what, but I just feel achy.”
“Did we jump the gun with that test this morning? Maybe you’re getting your period. Or…” He drifts off, but there is no hint of fear in his eyes and I’m comforted by that. Maybe what they said earlier still stands true.
“What if I am? What if we just took the test too soon?” I see a flash of fear in his eyes, but it dissipates quickly.
“You say that like you’re disappointed. Talk to me, Addison,” Kyle whispers softly.
“At first I felt relief because, well hell, we’ve only been together a few weeks.”
“Is that the only reason you felt relief?” he asks quietly.
“Honestly, no. I was relieved because I don’t know if I’m ready for a baby, but then the disappointment started to set in. I’ve spent so much time convinced that getting pregnant is impossible, so the chance that I could be got me a little more excited than I thought only to find out it was negative. Then after you and Talon saw the test both of your attitudes changed, shifting everything. It was like you were both relieved and it became okay to talk about it again. But the disappointment started ringing. I don’t know if I can have children, and I’ve been so wrapped up in my own career that I never really thought about it. But I’m also scared to death.”
“Do something for me, baby girl?” Kyle asks softly. I nod. “If you’re not already pregnant, and you want a baby at some point, you know damn well that Talon and I would make it happen. No matter what. So try not to be disappointed, I’m sure there is some way we can make it happen.”
I feel like crying again. Just the fact that he holds me just a little tighter to his chest, comforting me, is enough to make me want to burst into tears.
I manage to keep it together and Kyle leaves me so I can finish getting ready. I decide to wear the outfit that Talon bought me before the Minneapolis show. I pair the black tank-top jumpsuit with the lacy overlay that’s actually a dress and my black calf height three-inch heel boots. The ensemble looks great. I leave my hair down so that it’s wavy and free flowing down my back. We’re taking the buses to the mall since we’re leaving immediately after this little shindig for Chicago. The band has an early morning radio appearance and it will take us a good seven hours to get there. This event is due to be over around eight, but it will realistically be more like nine to ten before we get out of there, on the buses and finally on the road.
When I leave the bedroom, Talon and Kyle are both talking with Mills while the rest of our luggage is being loaded onto hotel carts to be taken downstairs. Mills smiles at me, but keeps talking. Talon turns his head, smiles widely and goes back to talking to Mills, probably about tonight.
“Addison?” Kyle calls and I look at him. “We need someone to introduce the band tonight. Normally I’d do it, but…”
“You want me to do it?” I ask with a smile.
He nods, “If you feel up to it.”
I smile wider. “I’d love to.”
While they finish up their conversation I grab my iPad and load up my email. I can look at it on the ride over. Once Mills, Kyle and Talon are done talking, we get ready to leave. “Thanks again for packing me up,” I tell my guys, and they both smile.
“We tried to wake you a few times and we weren’t exactly quiet while we were doing it, but you had no intention of waking up,” Talon says and he comes over to me, wraps his arms around me, and kisses me. “You look amazing, angel.”
I blush. “Thank you. You should like it, you picked it out.”
He smirks. “I did, though I had more ideas about how to take it off of you than what it would look like on.” I feel his hand brush across my nipple and it aches slightly. I flinch. “Whoa, you okay?” His face grows concerned quickly.
“You weren’t exactly gentle with them this morning.” I give him a secret smile. “Not that I’m complaining, but now I’m paying the price.”
“I’m sorry, angel.”
I tap his nose with my finger. “Don’t be. It’s alright. If you both behave, I might let you make it up to me,” I tease and Talon releases me. Kyle is there to quickly take his place.
“I agree. You look amazing. Feeling better?”
I do a quick assessment. “Yes, actually.”
He smiles. “Good.”
“Alright guys, time to go.” Mills tells us as he comes back into the room. Kyle and Talon take my hands in theirs and we leave the room.
Once on board, I go back through my emails. “The guys went out last night?” I ask, though my voice is more accusatory than questioning.
“Yeah, well, they stayed late at the mall, there’s a couple of bars up on the fourth floor. Why?” Talon asks.
“Because they made the news.”
“Oh no, badly?” he says.
I smile. “No, just some splash pieces on where they were. They appear to have behaved themselves.”
“Which is more than I can say for the three of you,” Dex quips as he comes on the bus. I blush, of course, which only eggs Dex on a little more. “You would think, after handling those two, you wouldn’t blush so much. Unless they’re boring in bed. In which case, you know where to come for a good time.” Dex flicks his tongue at me.
“Oh I have plenty of fun, fuck you very much,” I tease Dex.
“Ooh she’s feisty. Tell me, boys, how do you wrangle her in?”
“Stuff it, Dex,” Talon says, and the look on his face is pretty stern.
“No, seriously, how do you do it?”
“Drop it, Dex,” Kyle warns and Talon and Kyle exchange a look. I can’t see it, but it is a little too encouraging to Dex.
“Oh come off it, why don’t you two just get a room,” Dex snorts. Talon and Kyle exchange another look. “Oh shit…oh my god, you already…” Dex looks from me, to Kyle, then to Talon, and back to me. I, of course, blush even redder. “About fucking time,” Dex says as he throws his bag onto his bunk. “I mean seriously, none of us give a shit what you’re sticking your dick into.” He laughs and sets about straightening his bunk.
“Well, I guess that cat’s out of the bag,” I grumble. Just then Peacock comes up behind me.
“Heya Red,” he says with a smile.
“Hey Eric. You okay?”
The look on his face says it all; it’s strained. “We still need to have that talk, don’t we?”
He shrugs. “We have plenty of time.” He smiles and gets himself situated and Mouse isn’t that far behind him. Tori steps onto the bus with a large black duffle slung over her shoulder.
“Hey Tori, let me show you to your bunk,” I say. She nods and we slide past the boys. Dex wiggles his ass at me as I pass and I smack it, hard. Which makes my hand sting, Talon and Kyle laugh and Dex starts spouting something about harder next time. A creepy chill runs through me.
Once we arrive at the mall
, Tori, Kyle, Rusty, Beck, Mills and I all go inside, leaving the rest of the guys at the bus. Our goal is surveillance and to meet with the rotunda coordinator. When we enter the mall, it is a few hundred decibels louder in here today than it was yesterday when I walked through.
The hallway from the door going into the mall is lined with people screaming and shouting. Some of them get really excited when they see me. “Maybe we should take her back to the bus,” I hear Tori say to someone and I turn around.
“No, I have a job to do. I am Addison the employee, not Addison the singer right now. Let them cheer.”
“Addison, we’re only concerned about your safety.”
I look around the room. There is event staff stationed about every ten feet along the barricades holding people back. “I think we’re good.”
A short, stocky woman carrying a radio and a clipboard quickly approaches us. Kyle stands between her and I. “I’m Kyle Black, are you Annie?” She nods. “We spoke on the phone.”
“Oh of course, Kyle.”
“This is Addison. If you can’t find me, she’s your next in line.” I shake her hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m going to assume you’re the Addison they’re shouting about right now,” she says rather loudly, but her voice doesn’t carry far because of all the noise.
“That would be me. Sorry about that.”
“Oh heavens don’t be. We love this. Though the stores on the other hand, not so much.” She laughs. “We have a back door the band can enter through and then it’s a much shorter distance to the stage. Which is on the other side of the elevator there.” She turns and points. “We cut the autograph line off at five hundred. We’ve only guaranteed the first two hundred to be able to get their autographs. Pictures are up to you guys to handle. Allow them or don’t, but we do have a photographer here, hired by Vicious.”
I look at Kyle and I can tell that we’re both thinking the same thing. “No pictures, at least not directly with the band, individually or as a whole,” I say and Kyle nods. I look to Annie. “I’ll make the announcement when I introduce the band.”
