by Zoey Derrick
I spend my time in bed, waiting for the guys to come home. But I’m not idle. I get to work on a couple of press releases for the week we’re in New York. With the recording of ‘Your Eyes’, the duet version, and ‘To Be Free’, the label wants an announcement to be made from 69 Bottles. No problem, I got this. I smile to myself.
When I’m done with that, I send it off to Cami for proofing and approving, since we actually have time for this press release and I’m not working up a scandal piece.
Cami’s emails haven’t stopped flowing with a wealth of information regarding the Bryan Hayes duet. I finally break down and ask her how the label offers are coming. Her response is pure Cami style.
Giirrrll, let me tell you. I’ve not been in this business very long, but what is happening right now is beyond anything Trinity or Vinnie have EVER seen! We’re actually checking the label offers against the labels we don’t have offers from because, well, that will take a lot less time. Some of the more lucrative ones we’re negotiating further, hoping for the best contract and the best financial outcome for you. Also with the best schedules for you. Some labels are pushing for albums and tours before the year’s end. That’s extreme and not something we’re willing to subject you to.
So how are you? How are the guys doing? How’s the tour? Where are you now, Cincy or Philly? I’ve lost track, though I’m sure at some point a headline will pop up.
BY THE WAY!! EXCELLENT job at Mall of America on Tuesday. Social media was abuzz with it for most of Wednesday, speaking of which, you need to tweet more. Oh and I heard the radio spot this morning - inter webs, what a beautiful thing - Talon sounds great, happy even. What have you done to that boy? How’s Kyle?
Okay duty calls, I gotta go. We’ll chat soon.
Cami’s email sends a turmoil of emotions through me. An album and tour by the end of the year? No way. That gets me thinking about all things baby. I open a Safari window and go to Google, typing in ‘due date…” Google does its thing and completes ‘calculator’. I click on it and the first site that pops up is a website called BabyCenter. I click it as I pull my paper planner from my messenger bag and take a look. Then I put the date in.
December 10th is what it says my due date is, I scroll down and it tells me... March 19th, date of conception. I look back at my planner. My eyes grow wide. “Albuquerque, New Mexico… OhMyGOD!” I growl to no one because I’m the only one here. That was Talon’s comment about…Oh for fuck’s sake. The irony can’t even begin to be explained. The night that he brought up my nipples, breasts and the unspoken thought of getting me pregnant. Jeez, could there have been a bigger sign?
I quickly become addicted to reading about what’s going to happen to me and my body, and what’s going to happen with the baby. I’m barely four weeks along. When I read through the symptom checker I’m surprised by how much I’m feeling already. When you do that, everything seems to become a symptom. I also come to the conclusion that my fatigue is only the beginning. I yawn, adding to the issues with my being tired. All I’ve done is shower, get dressed and then sit my ass on the bed looking at the computer and I’m ready for a nap.
After I’m finally able to pull myself away from all things baby related, I log into Twitter. My followers have grown substantially and it makes me smile. I read through some of the @ Mentions and see a lot from Minneapolis and the Mall of America event. Many of which have pictures attached from the signing. Most are of Talon and myself side by side and everything is positive. Which, in my experience, is a first. There are some mentions of Chicago and then some of the upcoming shows in Cincinnati.
About the time the tickets for the second show went on sale is when my videos started going viral, so I wonder how many of those tickets were bought because of that? I don’t really care, all I know is that the second show sold out faster than the first one did. It makes me smile.
I have, surprisingly, several celebrities tweeting about me and my videos. Some actors and others musicians. When I click on a lot of their names, many of them are following me, so I start to follow them back.
I decide to Tweet… “Hanging out in Cincy, Ready for Saturday night’s show.” It is immediately retweeted dozens of times, and more mentions come in, ‘can’t wait to see you on stage’, ‘can’t wait to meet you’, and a lot of ‘I’m so bummed I didn’t get tickets.’ It’s pretty cool to see people interacting with me.
I play around on social media a little bit more, then turn to my Kindle and start looking at books. There are countless pregnancy books in digital format, the one book I want, ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ I want in actual book form. I want to be able to share it with the guys easier and it would probably be better as an iBook, bigger and more interactive.
“Addie?” I hear Kyle shout from the sitting room of the suite.
“In the bedroom,” I holler back and look over at the clock, it’s about two.
“Okay good, stay there,” I hear him holler back.
I raise an eyebrow in confusion, but I do as I’m told and wait, impatiently, for them to do whatever they’re doing. I close up my laptop and put it, along with my planner and iPad back into my messenger bag. I can smell something, but I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. Then Kyle comes bounding around the corner to the double doors of the bedroom. “Hello gorgeous,” he says in a salacious tone. “We have a surprise for you. How are you feeling?” he asks as he comes to sit on the bed next to me.
“Pretty good. Hungry and tired, but good.”
He smiles. “Well, come on then, we can solve the hungry problem.” He stands up and holds out his hand for me to take, I do and slide off the large bed.
When I stand up I get dizzy and have to sit back down. “Whoa, baby girl, what’s wrong?” he says softly as he kneels in front me.
“I just stood up too fast. I’m alright.”
“Come on, you need to eat,” he chastises softly. “No more of these long periods between meals, okay?”
I nod and he stands again. Helping me up. This time I don’t get dizzy or fall over. He escorts me to the sitting room. As we round the corner my nose is assaulted with something delicious. “What is that?” I ask.
“What you come to Cincinnati for.”
I look at him, then we come around the corner and there are three cups and three large bowls sitting on the table. One of the cups is facing this way and it says “Skyline Chili” on it. “Oh my god, you didn’t?”
They both laugh. “We did. Come, eat, angel,” Talon says and I take a seat.
“Have you had Skyline before?” Kyle asks as he sits.
“Once, a very long time ago. It was amazing.” I take a deep inhale through my nose and am assaulted with spices and deliciousness.
“We just got you the cheese, hope that’s okay?” Kyle says.
“Mmm, that’s perfect.” We dive into eating and it is the most delicious thing I’ve had in a long time.
Neither one of the guys say anything as I eat my way through the massive amount of food in front of me. Before you go getting all ‘piggy piggy’ on me, I don’t eat it all. I lean back in my chair and put my hand on my stomach. It’s distended from the amount of food I just consumed. “That was amazing. Thank you both,” I say softly.
“You’re welcome.” I notice now that I’ve consumed more than them. I’ve always been a big eater but it took me nearly three days to finish off the bowl the last time I had it.
“We have more for you,” Talon says with a smile.
“Okay?” I say hesitantly.
He lifts up a gift bag from beside his chair. “We thought maybe you could use a new book to read.” Kyle smiles and Talon hands me the bag. I start wracking my brain for any new books that have come out recently.
I pull the tissue paper out of the bag and reach in. I pull out three different books wrapped individually in more tissue paper and set the bag down on the floor and the books on the table. I reach for the first one. “Wait.” Talon stops me and he takes t
he book from me. “Start with this one,” he says and it’s a thick book, but not overly heavy and when I unwrap it I’m shocked to see the exact book I wanted in paperback about an hour ago. ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’. “We thought maybe you’d like to read up on what’s going to happen to you over the next nine months,” Talon says with a smile.
“Thank you, I was just looking at this on my Kindle and thought I’d rather have it in paperback, but Talon?”
“Yes, angel?”
“You didn’t buy this, did you?”
He smiles wildly. “I wanted to, but Kyle talked me out of it and he did it while I left the book store.”
I smile. “Good, because we can’t tell anyone yet, okay?”
“Why?” Talon asks.
“Because, most people wait until fourteen weeks to tell people, I’m only four weeks into this thing. And they say it’s bad luck to tell too many people too soon.”
“Okay,” he says somberly.
“You want to shout it from the roof, don’t you?” I ask him with a smile. He nods. “You can, soon, just not right now.” I wink at him.
“You should have seen him in the store. You’re lucky you only got three books. He was ready to buy them all.”
“Oh jeez, I’d never have been able to read them all.” I laugh.
“I know, that’s why you only have three,” Talon says, gesturing for me to pick up the next book, and I do. Unwrapping it I find a pregnancy journal. I flip through it and it has week-by-week sections for diet, feelings, and health trackers etcetera.
“Okay, this is awesome,” I say with a big bright smile.
“That was all Kyle,” Talon says with reverence. “He thought you’d like to track what you eat and do, and keep track of all the changes.”
I look at Kyle. “Thank you, cowboy.” He blushes slightly.
“The next one though, is all Talon,” Kyle says with a smirk.
I unwrap the book and bust out laughing. “We don’t need any help in this department,” I tease as I read the cover of ‘Kama Sutra for Pregnant Couples.’
They both laugh with me. “I know, but I thought it might be fun,” Talon says with a bright smile on his face.
“Well, it’s is a definite possibility, only problem is there are three of us.”
Talon laughs a little harder. “No, that just means we can try two a night.”
“Oh my god!” I squeal. “You’re so bad.” I sober up a little bit. “But seriously, thank you, guys,” I say as I take both of their hands in mine.
“Anything,” Kyle says.
“Anytime,” Talon adds.
My heart swells to the point of explosion as these two look at me with all the love I know they feel.
The rest of Friday is spent with me being pampered by the two of them with a bath and dinner. No fighting, just talking. We talk about the stuff I read on the internet, I tell them about the estimated due date and they’re both excited. I also go on to tell them about Cami’s emails and all of the social media stuff over the last couple of days. We eventually curl up for another movie that I don’t make it twenty minutes into before dozing off.
I’m awoken Saturday morning with severe nausea. I quickly climb out of bed, but I’m not quiet or careful about it, and as I’m bolting into the bathroom I hear both guys calling my name.
I grab my hair, pulling it back just as I vomit spectacularly straight into the toilet. “Baby girl?” I hear Kyle, but I can’t look away. He crouches down next to me and starts rubbing my back. I wonder idly why, now that I know I’m pregnant, I suddenly vomit the next day. Then I remember the nausea I’ve had.
“Angel?” Talon calls as he comes into the bathroom.
“Go away. You guys don’t need to watch this,” I manage to get out between heaves.
Talon comes to kneel on the other side of me, replacing my hand in my hair with his while Kyle continues rubbing my back. “I’m alright,” I say through a couple more heaves.
When I’m finally done, I reach up and flush the toilet and put the seat down. I sit rather clumsily on the lid with my head in my hands. Both of their hands are resting on my thighs. “I just need a minute.” I was woken up so abruptly but it’s taken until now for my body to catch up.
“What can we do, baby girl?”
“Toothbrush and a bath,” I say and Kyle stands, walking toward the tub and then the water starts running. Talon doesn’t leave my side while Kyle sets about drawing my bath. Neither one of them say anything to me, which is okay. I don’t know what to tell them and I’m certain they don’t know what to say. “I feel better.” Which isn’t a lie. Once I was done retching it was almost instant relief.
“That’s a good thing, right?” Kyle asks as he comes to stand next to me. I look up at him and he’s naked, and for the first time, he’s not hard and it makes me sad to see it. I glance back down and Talon, naked also, is soft.
“It’s a good thing,” I mumble. “What did I eat last night?”
“You had that bar-b-que chicken wrap thing and french fries,” Kyle tells me and I start to remember.
“Do we need to get you to the doctor?” Talon asks.
I shake my head. “No, I’m pretty sure this is morning sickness. I’m alright, I just need to relax for a few minutes. Drink some water and with any luck, go back to sleep.”
“You got it, angel.” Talon stands, holding his hands out for me to take them. I move slowly, afraid I’m going to make myself dizzy again. Both of them escort me to the tub and help me step in. I pull my t-shirt over my head and I hear hisses from both of them as they take in my nakedness.
I sit down gingerly in the tub and look back at both of them. What was once soft is now getting hard and I am comforted by the fact that my body still turns them on. Though there are no visible signs of pregnancy, they know what’s inside. I move past their cocks to their faces, both eager. “Come on,” I say quietly and they both step in.
Talon turns me, pressing my back to his front. Kyle looks at me, desperation to be held is playing in his eyes, but I can see worry. “It’s alright, I won’t break,” I reassure him and he turns, leaning against me. I put my head back on Talon’s shoulder and Kyle puts his head back on mine. I wrap my arms and legs around him, holding him to me. I soak up the warmth of the water and their bodies.
I can tell that Talon is hard as stone, pressing against my back, but there is nothing sexual charging the air.
When we climb out of the tub, I am quickly dried off, and I brush my teeth to get rid of the taste in my mouth before a clean t-shirt is pulled over my head. It’s one of Kyle’s. I can tell because it’s smaller. Talon’s shirts fall onto my thighs whereas Kyle’s, though still big on me, barely covers my sex.
The brushing of the t-shirt against my nipples makes them harden and ache. “Take the shirt off, please,” I groan. “It hurts.”
Kyle goes for the hem and pulls it over my head. “What hurts, baby girl?”
I want to cry, not because of the pain but because this is only the beginning of what’s to come. I’d felt the heaviness in my breasts a few days ago and brushed off the soreness caused by Talon’s all too eager mouth and fingers, but now reality sets in. “My nipples,” I whisper, hoping to avoid giving away the flood of reality running through me.
“What can we do?” Talon asks.
“Put me to bed. Cuddle with me,” I whisper back, still not trusting my voice.
They lead me into the bedroom and lay me down first. I roll towards Kyle’s side and Talon slides in behind me, then Kyle lies down gently.
After about ten minutes of cuddling I’ve finally mustered up the courage to ask a question that’s been bugging me for two days now. “Why won’t you touch me?”
I can feel them both stiffen around me. “We touch you all the time,” Kyle says stiffly as his hand rubs along my stomach.
“That’s not what I mean, and you both know it. You haven’t touched me since Thursday night and that was with a test we h
adn’t seen. Since then, nothing. Do I turn you off now?” The tears threaten to spill over and I don’t care, I let them go.
Kyle turns to face me. Putting my face in his hands, his thumbs wipe away the tears. “We don’t want to hurt you,” he explains.
Frustration boils to the point of explosion. “I’m no different than I was on Thursday before we took that test.”
“It’s just, its different now,” Talon says behind me. I try to turn and Kyle releases my face.
“Why, because instead of wondering, which was okay, you know the truth and despite everything you’ve done and said, it’s all of a sudden not? That doesn’t make any sense.”
I sit up, a little too fast, but I recover quickly and slide out from under the covers, crawling to the end of the bed before I slide off. “Nothing’s changed, nothing will change, that’s what you both told me and now… now it seems as though it has.”
“Angel, please, calm down.”
“No Talon, I won’t. I need to understand why all of sudden I’m no longer attractive to you, why you don’t touch me.”
“Does this look un-attracted?” Kyle says as he pushes the blankets down his body, revealing a beautiful hard-on that’s glistening at the tip. “Addison, you’re fucking gorgeous, you’re smart, and you’re fucking sexy, maybe even sexier now that we know you’re pregnant. Our not touching you has nothing to do with you being unattractive, it has everything to do with the fact that I am scared shitless, Addison. I’m scared of hurting you, I’m scared of hurting the baby, and I’m scared of everything that’s happened this week. It wasn’t on my agenda to get you pregnant, but it’s happened. We-” he gestures between the three of us, “made that choice to take the chance because we didn’t consider the consequences of what could happen. We slipped up once because we didn’t have anything, but none of us went back to using them again. And now… now you’re pregnant.”
