Vein Fire

by Adams, Lucia

  Hannah took her jacket off and draped it over the radiator. Jared patted the cushion next to him and she sat down.

  “Hey,” he said, smiling with a half-crazed look on his face, leaning into her.

  “Hey.” She laughed nervously, as she sensed something was off about him, and she positioned herself as far away from him as she could.

  That’s right, Hannah. Listen to that little voice in the back of your head.

  Matt’s phone rang and he took the call in the other room where they couldn’t hear him. Jared picked up a section of Hannah’s hair and rubbed it between his fingers. He pulled the hair up to his face and smelled it. Hannah squirmed and tried to move away from him even more without making it seem obvious. Jared wasn’t smiling anymore. Matt reentered the room and witnessed the silent exchange. Panic A-bombed through his skull.

  “Hannah, that was my mom. Her car broke down at the Dairy-Dale. Can you give me a ride to go and get her? She’s with my little brothers, so I’d like to leave now.”

  “Can I come with?” Jared asked.

  “Sorry, man, her car’s small and we wouldn’t all fit. But, hey, it’s good you’re in town, so I’ll give you a call this week and maybe we can hang out.”

  Hannah jumped up from the couch without even answering Matt. Of course she’d do it, she never said no to anything. Good girl.

  Jared looked angry. He froze, looked at Matt, and stared him down like he was trying to figure out if he was lying or not.

  “Sure, Matt, I’ll give you a call. Maybe I’ll drop by sometime when I’m not too busy. How does that sound?”

  “Cool. Just, um, give me a call or something when you’re free; we can watch that movie.”

  “Yeah,” he paused, “Hey, Hannah, you wanna watch a movie sometime?”

  “Um, sure.” Hannah looked anxious to leave the house, trying to occupy herself with re-buttoning her already buttoned jacket.

  “Why don’t I stop by your place sometime? Is that cool with you?”

  Hannah froze. She couldn’t look more like a helpless prey about to be pounced upon. “Yes?” she answered with an upturn, so it sounded like a question.

  “Great. Apartment one, right?”

  Matt could see that Hannah finally realized she had made a mistake in telling Jared where she lived. “Yes, apartment one,” she said in a small voice.

  “Okay, well, we gotta go. My mom is waiting.”

  The three of them left together and Matt made sure he locked his door.

  “It was nice meeting you, Hannah,” Jared said as he paused to take her hand and raise it to his mouth, kissing it.”

  Hannah giggled. The situation was uncomfortable and she wasn’t handling it very well. She hurried to her car and unlocked the doors. Matt didn’t say goodbye to Jared, he just jumped into the car and said, “Drive.”

  Matt was furious. The tendons in his neck twitched. Hannah didn’t make a sound. Matt, after all, suspected that he still scared her.

  “My mom’s not at the Dairy Dale. It was a lie to get us out of there.”

  Hannah swallowed, “Jared—there’s something wrong with him, isn’t there?”

  “BINGO! DING DONG! Now you get it. Not everyone is fucking nice, Hannah. There are people out there that are fucking crazy and you DON’T want them to know where you live—and Jared? Jared’s one of them.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Why do you always apologize? Just get smart—and quick. If you’re on Jared’s radar, you should be shitting yourself.”

  “How do I know if I’m on his radar?”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Didn’t you see the way he was looking at you? Wasn’t him smelling your hair enough of a clue? Jesus. You’re fucking ridiculous. Pull over, I need to think.”

  By this time, Hannah was at the Dairy Dale, so she pulled into its parking lot.

  “Do you have anyone that could stay with you for a week or so?”

  “I—I don’t know. Maybe. I’d have to call a few people.”

  “Okay, let’s go back to your apartment and figure this out.”

  Hannah started the car and crossed town, back to her apartment. “Is he really that evil? I mean, he’s back in society, so he can’t be that bad.”

  “Hannah, for God’s sake. Some of the craziest fucks aren’t locked up; they’re out shopping at the fucking Dairy Dale, or walking their dogs down your fucking street. You don’t know for sure. You just have to trust me. Jared’s one crazy motherfucker.”

  “But people change. Maybe he changed.”

  “No, Hannah. He was born wrong. Stop trying to make this shit okay in your head. It’s not okay.”

  Hannah was quiet. When they got to her apartment, Matt jumped out of the car and looked up and down the streets. Satisfied, he followed Hannah to her front door. Once inside, he didn’t notice the mess, but Hannah scurried about, first picking up the laundry off of the couch, which he didn’t complain about because they did need somewhere to sit, but after she kept cleaning, he yelled at her.

  “Fuck that shit, Hannah. We need to figure stuff out. Don’t worry about cleaning now.”

  Hannah sat on the couch. Matt held his head in his hands. He knew he’d have to play this one carefully. He didn’t want to piss Jared off because he’d not snitched on him regarding Danny, but he certainly didn’t want to be his fucking friend, or see Hannah take a sky dive off of some balcony.

  “Do you got any of those zani’s left?”

  “Um, yeah, they’re in my purse.” Hannah stood up and grabbed her purse, dug the bottle out, and handed it to Matt. “Wait…how did you know I had zani’s?”

  “I was looking for your address on your driver’s license in your purse when I went to take you home last night. I wasn’t trying to snoop…just relax. I only looked for a second before I decided to take you to my house instead.”

  “It’s okay. I understand. I don’t mind that you looked in my purse and saw my Xanax.”

  “Cool. Care if I?”

  “No, help yourself. I have plenty.”

  Matt pulled the cellophane wrapper off of his cigarette pack and set it on the coffee table. He dumped a few of the tablets out of the bottle, onto the table, placed the cellophane over them, and crushed them up with the butt end of his cigarette lighter.

  “Can I see your driver’s license?”

  “Um, sure.” Hannah’s head lowered as she searched in her purse again until she pulled her wallet out and handed her license to Matt. He used it to separate the crushed pills into neat lines.

  “Dollar bill?”

  “Oh.” Hannah hesitated for a second and went back into her purse, searching for the money. “Will a twenty do?”

  Matt made a face and cocked his head to the side. He raised his one eyebrow and put his hand out. Hannah handed him the twenty and he began rolling it up tightly.

  “What are you doing? Are you going to snort that?”

  “No, we’re going to.”

  “We are? But I’ve never snorted anything before.”

  “It’s cool. I’ll show you how.” Matt lowered his head onto the table, inserted the twenty up his nose, and snorted the line. When he was done, he tossed his head back and coughed. “Your turn. C’mere. Use whatever nostril is clearer, and hold the other one closed. Put the bill up your nose, exhale everything out of your lungs, and then snort it up steadily.”

  Hannah was nervous. She was clumsy with following his instructions, but she started snorting.

  “That’s it. Keep it going. Snort the whole line.”

  Hannah finished the entire line, and then tossed her head back slightly, like Matt had done. “That feels good. I’m all tingly.”

  “Yeah, it’s better than swallowing them.”

  Hannah giggled. “I like it.”

  “Yeah, wanna do another bump in a little bit?”

  “Sure.”

  “What do you have to drink?”

  “Um…iced tea, milk, grape juice…”

 
“Any liquor? Beer?”

  “Yeah, I have some Jäger.”

  Hannah went into the kitchen and got the green bottle out of the cupboard and started looking for a shot glass.

  “Two.”

  “Two?” Hannah asked.

  “Two glasses.”

  Hannah’s living room opened into her kitchen, so it was one big room. The back wall of her kitchen was mostly taken up by a double-wide sliding glass door. It opened into a back yard she shared with her neighbors. She only had a thin curtain pulled across the door, and Matt made a mental note—she’d need lined curtains with Jared loose in the neighborhood.

  Hannah carried everything into the living room and paused, “Wait. Should we be mixing Xanax and alcohol? I’ve only ever done it once before and not while I was snorting the pills.”

  “You worry too much.” Matt took the Jäger from her and poured some into each glass. “Cheers,” he said, taking his glass and throwing the liquid down his throat.

  Hannah hesitated, but swallowed hers as well. She squinted up her face and shook her head. “Wow.” She sat next to Matt on the couch as he poured them two more drinks.

  “How do you feel?”

  “Like a Lucy in the sky.”

  “Okay, Lucy, let’s do another bump.”

  Matt started crushing more Xanax as he lit a cigarette and offered the pack to Hannah.

  “No thanks, I don’t smoke.”

  “You didn’t snort until five minutes ago, either.”

  Hannah laughed, “Trying to corrupt me, then, are you?”

  “Nah, I think I’ve done enough to you—time to move on to someone else.”

  “What? I’m not complaining. I like hanging out with you. Corrupt away!”

  “You,” he said as he playfully poked her in the nose, “I didn’t mean I was done hanging out with you, I meant, you know, when we were kids—what I did. It was stupid and I can’t tell you I’m sorry enough.”

  “It’s cool. It’s in the past. Forgive and forget—or whatever people say.”

  “It’s just, as fucked up as I am, there’s a lot worse out there. Normal people like you don’t usually get one crazy motherfucker in their life, much less two, so we gotta keep Jared away from you.”

  “Hey, I don’t mind crazy. It’s not like I’m the picture of sanity.”

  “Yeah—I noticed the scars,” he exhaled smoke from his cigarette. “Maybe one day you’ll tell me about them.”

  “Yeah, sometime,” Hannah paused, “but I don’t want you to worry about me, I can take care of myself.” Matt didn’t respond. Of course he knew she couldn’t take care of herself.

  “Okay, it’s zani time.” Matt lowered his head and snorted the bigger of the two lines. “Next,” he laughed with a big guffaw as he raised his head from the coffee table. He handed the rolled up twenty to Hannah. She moved around to the end of the table and knelt down. She was slow to inhale the powdery line, but smiled when she raised her head. That’s a beautiful sight, Matt thought.

  “Nice,” she said, but then she lost her balance and slid off of her feet, onto the floor. “Whoa!”

  “Shit goes right to your brain, huh?”

  “Yeah, maybe I should slow down.”

  “Yeah, maybe. Let’s do shots.”

  Hannah crawled to the couch and drank the shot Matt poured for her. She slouched back into the couch. “Damn, I feel nice. How about you?”

  “I’m all right. I’m a fucking beast. I can do this shit all night and still walk straight.”

  “I can’t. I can barely keep my eyes open.”

  “You can barely keep your eyes open?” Matt leaned into Hannah and they both laughed as she lightly pushed him away. He leaned back in, ignoring her as she tried to push him away again, and he kissed her.

  “Matt, stop. We didn’t even talk about this.”

  “What’s there to talk about?”

  “I don’t know. It’s just that I—I can’t remember if we did anything last night.”

  “What does last night got to do with tonight?”

  Hannah stopped in the middle of her next word and giggled, “You’re right. Nothing.” She continued to giggle as Matt leaned in for another kiss. She let him kiss her, but then she pulled away, “DRINK! Time for another drink.”

  “Okay, okay. I see how you are.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing, you got me all worked up and then you leave me hard with nothing but my hand.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that this whole situation is kinda fucked up.”

  Kinda fucked up? You don’t know the half of it.

  Matt didn’t talk; he made two lines on the coffee table while Hannah poured them two more drinks. He hurried up and snorted the smaller of the two lines.

  “That whole thing?” Hannah pointed to the long, thick powdery line. “How much is that? An entire pill?”

  “It’s cool—you can handle it.”

  Hannah didn’t argue anymore, she snorted the line, but this time like a pro.

  “Oh-my-fucking-God, YES! That feels good.”

  “Yeah, it’s sweet. How about we watch some television?”

  “Okay.” Hannah staggered back to the couch and fell onto it. “I’m soooo fucked up.”

  “Nothing wrong with that.” Matt intently watched the television while he flipped through channels. After a while, Hannah’s heavy eyes remained partially open, even though she was softly snoring. Matt knew she was asleep by the way her head bent at the neck at such an uncomfortable angle. Lightweight. He watched some rerun for half an hour before he picked her arm up and let it drop down onto her body. Yep, sleeping-fucking-beauty.

  He wasn’t slow or even careful this time. He didn’t bother to redress her, or even cover her up. He returned the Jäger to the cabinet and washed both of their glasses. He dumped a few of the Xanax into his hand and pocketed them before he tossed the bottle back into her purse. He unrolled the twenty and placed it in her wallet, in between the other bills. There was a Polaroid camera on top of Hannah’s fridge which he retrieved. He stood back and took a picture of Hannah, naked and sprawled on her couch. A souvenir. He was a little disappointed how the picture didn’t show her scars, or the wet glistening between her legs, but it would do.

  He was about to leave when through the sliding glass doors, he saw something move outside. He crept along the wall and flicked the outside light on. He scanned the back yard. Nothing. He flicked the light off. He looked at Hannah and considered trying to wake her up. Nah, bad idea. Who wants to deal with that? Matt checked the time. Ten at night, one more hour until Jared would have to make curfew at the group home. He sat on the floor by the couch and flicked the TV on. He’d wait.

  At eleven o’clock, the news came on and Matt turned the TV off. He looked at sleeping Hannah. So sweet. So dumb. He lifted her arm and let it drop again. Still, no movement.

  Why not. It wasn’t a question, it was an option. Matt was an opportunist and didn’t pass up chances like this. He moved her so her ass was on the edge of the couch, and he let her legs fall to the sides. He knelt before her and eased inside, not sure how much longer she’d be passed out. She didn’t move at all. When he got a good rhythm going, she still didn’t wake up, although her tits jumped with each thrust. Matt spit on her clit and rubbed it a little bit. She smiled in her sleep. Slut. Each time he’d rub, she smiled, but she never woke up. Although it was an interesting experiment for him, he wasn’t rubbing her when he came. He took no joy in seeing her smile.

  He twirled her legs back onto the couch and dressed. The puddle of cum pooled on the upholstery under her ass cheeks pleased Matt. He locked the door behind him and walked home. It was four blocks away and the air chilled the skin left exposed from him only wearing a t-shirt. He slept better that night than he had in years.

  CHAPTER 8

  Skye

  There were things Hannah liked to remember, and things that liked to remember Hannah. Her couch had a frowning sag from the
weight of her torso after a night of sleeping on it and not moving. Her limbs ached, but didn’t whisper any secrets. Waking up naked smacked her recollection of the previous night’s events.

  As she made her way up the steps, what remained of Matt which hadn’t soaked into her couch, ran down her thighs. Her skin wasn’t able to record where his hands had explored, so she imagined touches in the steam of the shower. Her palms were against the tiles as the water sprayed on the back of her head. She could hear the phone ringing, but she kept her eyes shut and her mouth open as she breathed between the streams finding paths down her face.

  The water began to run cold and she exited, wrapping a towel around her body, not bothering to dry her soaking hair. She slid her feet into shaggy pink slippers and shuffled to the mirror. One hand swiped the condensation from the glass and she could see one section of her body. She undid the towel and bent over so she could see the purple sucker bites on her neck. There were three more than she had the previous night. She held her breasts in both hands and lifted them up, turning to the side. In the fog of her reflection, she was almost pretty.

  She refastened the towel and went downstairs to find her phone. It was still in its cradle, but she grabbed her purse and looked inside—she checked quickly and nothing was gone. The missed call was from a number she didn’t recognize. She dialed it back as she walked upstairs.

  A female voice answered, “Maple House, this is Rhonda.”

  “Um, hello. Someone just called me from this number.”

  “Well, I don’t know who called you.”

  “Uh, is this a business?”

  “Yes. Wait—hold on.”

  “Hello?” a man’s voice answered.

  “Hi, I was returning a call I received from this number.”

  “Hannah?”

  “Err…yes,” she hesitated.

  “Hannah! Hey! This is Jared—remember? We met yesterday at Matt’s house.”

  “Oh, hey.” The enthusiasm was completely absent from her voice. “How did you get my number?”

  “I stopped by Matt’s this morning and he said I should give you a call.”