by Laurie Roma
Without thinking, her hands explored every inch of available flesh, nails streaking down his back. She relished his groan of pleasure as he braced himself over her, thrusting deeper and harder against her. She felt him inside her, stretching her, pushing and pulling at the sensitive muscles inside her pussy. Grabbing his ass, Tara pulled her legs up to wrap them high around his back, drawing him impossibly deeper into her snug pussy so she felt him pounding against the entrance to her womb.
“I’m close, baby. Let me give it to you. God, I love you so much. Your tight little hole is squeezing my cock. Just a little more and I’m gonna come.”
Julian’s words had flames building so high she thought they would consume her as he nailed her to the floor. Exquisite pleasure ripped through her again and this time she screamed.
His name.
Only his name.
He released a feral growl and thrust his hips as fast as they would go. Pleasure raced through him as her climax forced his own. His cock thickened and his balls drew up tight against his body. He felt the explosion as his vision dimmed, his cock pumping her full of his hot cream as he jerked off inside her.
For long minutes they lay as one, barely moving. Once his breathing slowed to a normal pace, Julian rolled, bringing her petite frame on top of his large, sated body. “Shit,” he sighed, “why can’t we have sex like two normal people?”
“Normal as in boring, polite, in-and-out, two-minute sex?”
Julian thought about what she had just said for a minute then took a deep breath. “Thank god we aren’t normal.” He had to grit his teeth as he felt her laughing body clench around his semihard cock that was still inside her.
“Sorry about the table.”
Julian lifted his head slightly so he could see what she was talking about. What used to be his coffee table was now missing all its legs and was cracked down the center. He had absolutely no recollection how it had gotten like that. It didn’t matter. He had enjoyed himself too much to care. “It was a necessary casualty and you aren’t sorry.”
Tara hummed. “Yeah, you’re right, just thought I should say sorry…or something.”
“Did you break it or did I?” Julian asked.
Tara wiggled her hips and had the blood rushing back to Julian’s cock in a hurry. “I think I did. My hip is kind of sore.”
She propped herself up, elbows on his chest so she could look down at him. Staring at him with those dark, mysterious eyes, she spoke softly. “You know I can’t go as your fiancée. You’re a public figure, people will know that this is fake. Any background check—”
“Will only find what you want them to find. I know you have an excellent background in place from your time with the CIA and with Mac Securities. We can tell people we met when you came to help update the security systems here and anything else we want them to know, or nothing at all. I keep my life pretty private, so no one will think twice about not knowing what’s going on.” He flashed Tara his dimples as he smiled. “Besides, I will get you to marry me eventually, so why not tell everyone now?”
Chapter Thirteen
“We aren’t getting married.”
“Oh, yes, we are.” Julian had to laugh at the horrified expression on her face.
He held on to her struggling body as she tried to roll off of him. Flipping her again, he held her body in place underneath his larger one. His cock, still buried deep inside her, throbbed with aching need as her muscles flexed around him.
His smile turned tender as he gently stroked the hair away from her face. The panic that flared in her eyes made him want to continue laughing, but he forced it down.
“Are you crazy? We aren’t…You can’t just tell me we’re getting married,” she sputtered at him. “There is something seriously wrong with you.”
His expression turned thoughtful. “Why are you so scared to let me love you?”
“I’m not scared,” she snapped. “And you don’t love me.”
His own temper flared to life again.
“Don’t tell me how I feel. I love you, you stubborn, complicated woman. And you’re scared. Don’t shake your head at me. Oh, baby, yes, you are. You make this all about sex. You won’t let me in any further. And god forbid you should ever talk about your feelings. Hell, everything personal I know about you I’ve had to learn from your friends.”
“You’ve never asked me anything personal. It’s all, what’s your favorite blah blah blah,” Tara argued.
His eyes narrowed. “Every time I do, you kiss me or distract me with sex.”
Tara laughed as his hips thrust reflexively. “Oh, so it’s all my fault? Huh, you’re just too easily distracted. Blame it on me and not your wayward penis.”
“My penis is not wayward. It’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to be doing.”
It was, and it was distracting her. She sobered and forced herself to focus on their conversation. “Listen,”—she took a deep breath—“before we go any further, I want to say something. I don’t really do the whole relationship thing very well. I’ve dated other agents because they know the life. I’ve dated men that had no clue what I did for a living and it didn’t work. You have—”
“I resent the hell out of you talking about other men while I’m still inside you, Tara,” Julian snapped in warning.
“Damn it, Julian. You wanted me to explain and I’m trying to,” Tara flung back at him as she jerked on his chest hair, making him wince.
“Jesus, that hurt!” Julian rubbed at his chest to relieve the sting she had left there.
“Then shut up and listen to me!”
“You are a vicious little thing. It’s a good thing I love you.”
There it was again. Tara closed her eyes and let herself believe. “You have to be sure you can live with what I do, because it’s who I am.”
His gaze softened. “Baby, I love who you are,” he said lovingly, his eyes tender.
“Stop it! Don’t get all mushy and nice on me. It freaks me out. I may be falling for you, but I’m not marrying you.”
Julian threw his head back and laughed. “Christ, woman, only you would say you are falling in love with me and tell me not to be nice to you at the same time.”
“Stop laughing or I might just have to hit you again.”
Julian winced. “Remind me never to piss you off. You pack a hell of a punch.”
She leaned up so her lips were right next to his ear. “Yeah, and I’ll tell you this, if this is for real and you ever really do cheat on me, I’ll walk and take your nuts with me.”
“Jesus.”
“Aww, is the big bad tycoon scared of a woman?” Tara chuckled.
“You are no ordinary woman. I would never cheat on you, Tara. You are more than I can handle anyway.” His eyes were serious, then a wide grin spread across his face. “Admit it, you were jealous.”
“Oh, go fuck yourself.”
He thrust his hips against her, making her moan. Lips lowered to hers, he whispered, “I would rather fuck you.”
* * * *
Julian and Tara lay on the floor of his office like two survivors of a war. Bruised, battered, and barely breathing. The room itself looked like a pack of wild animals had torn it apart. Clothes lay in pieces, scattered over the expensive area rug. Julian winced as he noticed shards of what was once a priceless vase littered over the hardwood floor over by the wall. And speaking of the wall, two of the monitors were hanging askew.
Had they made it over there?
He mentally nodded to himself. Yep, they had during round two…or was it three?
He rolled his head to the side and opened his eyes to look at Tara lying at his side with her eyes closed. Dear god, every time he looked at her his heart swelled. He never knew love could feel like this. That loving a woman would make him feel so strong inside, like he could accomplish anything as long as this woman was by his side.
Then again, it wasn’t anyone who could make him feel like this. Only Tara. She was jaded, stubborn as hel
l and was a little bit scary at times. He wouldn’t have her any other way.
“Tell me something about yourself.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
“No, really.” He yanked at a lock of her hair and grinned as her arm flung out to slap at him. “Tell me something personal that I don’t have to pry out of you or bribe one of your friends to find out.”
Turning her head she opened one eye to stare at him. “Who’d you bribe?”
“No one…yet.”
She snorted out a laugh. “Jesus, you’re like a girl. Pick, pick, pick. Tell me about your feelings,” she mimicked.
“Stop trying to change the subject.”
“Fine,” she huffed. “What do you want to know?”
“I don’t know. Tell me something.”
Tara let out an aggrieved sigh. “There are a couple rules if we are really going to do this—”
“We are doing this,” Julian corrected, “and by this I mean having a loving relationship, not lying naked on my office floor, which we’re doing also, but—”
“Oh my god…”
Julian snickered before sobering again. He sighed and rested his head back down on the floor, clasping his hands over his stomach in a gesture of complete ease. “Fine, what are your rules? And does this mean I can make a few of my own?”
“No.” Tara paused before saying, “Rule one, when this is over, we tell each other straight. If you want out, you let me know before you mambo with some bimbo.”
Julian let out an aggravated sigh. “Sweetheart, the only bimbo I want to mambo with is you.”
“Cute,” she said dryly.
“And this isn’t going to be over. I’m going to marry you.”
“Whatever. Rule two…no sex from behind.”
That gave him pause.
“Will you tell me why?” he asked softly.
Tara took a moment before she spoke, her voice flat and expressionless. “Lucian and I had been working on a big case with another agent a few years ago, tracking down a terrorist cell. I was with the CIA at the time. Miles, the other agent, fucked up and was followed to a communications drop. He got the information we had gathered out to our handler but was followed straight back to where Lucian and I were waiting for him.”
Tara paused for a moment. Julian wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms so he could hold her, but instinctively he knew she wouldn’t want that.
She needed to tell this her way.
“Miles was lucky. They killed his stupid ass right away. Lucian and I…we weren’t,” Tara said. “They held and tortured us for four days before IAD sent in a team to rescue us. The CIA had written us off as dead, but Jason MacBain and his men thought we were worth saving. As soon as I was able to, I resigned and joined up with IAD.”
Julian hoped she didn’t hear his voice waver as he spoke. “How long did it take you to recover?”
She gave a bitter laugh. “I’ll never be completely recovered, Julian. That’s my point. All I can do is deal and move on the best I can.” A lifetime of pain was in those words. “But if you mean my physical injuries, months.”
Julian stared up at the ceiling of his office with unseeing eyes. The silence was filled with sorrow and rage. His sorrow. His rage.
For her, the woman he loved.
Hearing about her past killed him. To hear the pain in her voice that she so carefully disguised under the indifference made him want to hunt down the man who had captured her and kill him with his bare hands.
How had she borne it? How did someone move on from something like that? For all that had happened to her, it was amazing how…normal she was after experiencing what she had been through. It made him want to wrap her up in cotton and make it so she would never be hurt again, however unrealistic it was.
She was a warrior.
Her job was dangerous and he knew he’d have to get used to it somehow, but right now he struggled to temper his fury, but knew nothing could, nothing would until the man who had tortured Tara was dead and no longer breathing.
“Who? Who was it that captured you?” He knew. He just needed her to confirm it.
“Hassan Sharif.”
“Motherfucker.” Julian’s furious whisper was a promise of retribution. “Is that where you got the scars on your back?”
“Yeah.”
Julian swallowed tightly. “And your rule, he and his men…”
Tara closed her eyes as if trying to block out the memories. “Just him. Sucks to be a woman in captivity. Being taken from behind brings back…bad memories.”
“He’s a dead man. I’ll kill him,” Julian swore, his voice low and deadly.
Tara’s eyes opened and they shone with a fierce light he had never seen before. It was like looking at death itself. “No, his death belongs to me.”
Julian rolled to his side so he was face-to-face with her. He stroked the back of his hand down her cheek and leaned in so he could just breathe in her air. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if there was anything he could say to make it better. So he spoke the words that were in his heart, his voice shaking with emotion. “I love you, Tara.”
Her eyes glistened but no tears fell. “You don’t even know me,” she whispered, “not really.”
“I know enough. I have a lifetime to learn the rest.”
“Don’t…I’m not what you need. You’re going to want a family someday and…I can’t. I can’t have kids, Julian. There was too much damage done…It’s just not possible. Ever after is not in my future.”
Julian’s heart broke into a thousand pieces. He couldn’t stop himself from gathering her close and curling his body around her. “Baby, we will have our happy ending. I promise we will. If we want kids later, we can adopt. There are so many wonderful children just waiting for a good family. But I’m in no hurry. Both of our jobs are demanding. I would never ask you to give up what you do…It’s a part of you. Just like what I do is a part of me. Share your life with me. We can make this work. Love me enough to try…for us.”
Julian felt relief course through him as, after a brief hesitation, Tara’s arms wound around him and held on. She lay her head on his chest and he tightened his arms around her as if by sheer will he could stop anything from ever hurting her again.
“For us,” she repeated on a sigh.
“I love your dragon,” he whispered, trailing his fingertips lightly over the scars on her back. “I love you.”
“I…do, too,” she choked out.
Julian laughed softly, running a gentle hand over her hair. “Don’t worry, baby, it will get easier to say the more you say it.”
“I haven’t said it,” she groused, “exactly.”
He smiled. “But you will…eventually you will. I’ve never said it to another woman, Tara. I know the power that those words hold. I wanted to give them to you. No, I needed to give them to you. Someday you will give them back to me. And I’ll never make you sorry you did. I will love you until my last breath and beyond.”
He kissed her brow in a gesture so tender that had tears filling her eyes, but they didn’t fall. They never did. Beyond moved by his words, she burrowed her head deeper into his neck, inhaling deep. She wanted his scent surrounding her so she could smell him on her and her on him. Like an animal, his scent soothed her, and for once she allowed herself to seek the peace that could be found in his arms.
“Why do you leave my bed every night?” Julian asked. He had been wondering that since the first night she left him.
“I have a hard time sleeping with anyone in the room with me,” she admitted.
“It takes trust.”
Tara closed her eyes. He got it. There was such comfort in knowing that he understood without her having to explain it to him.
“I know I have to earn your trust, Tara, and I will. At least have faith in me that I will. I want to wake up in the morning with you. And I want to hold you while we sleep.”
“I…we can try.”
“Th
at’s all I can ask.” He kissed the top of her head. “You are the strongest woman I have ever met.”
Her laugh was muffled against his naked chest. “You’re only saying that because I can hit you, hard.”
“I know.” Julian remembered just how much it hurt when she had hit him earlier, and he rubbed at his jaw. “I may have to punish you for that later.”
“Sure,” Tara agreed easily. “Just remember, whatever you do to me I get to do back to you.”
Julian’s cock stiffened at the thought, but any action was cut off by the tweet of his cell phone.
“That’s odd, I don’t remember setting that ringtone.” Julian sighed and kissed her lightly on the lip before rolling over to where his pants lay. He pulled his cell out of his pocket and checked his messages. His entire body stiffened, making Tara go on alert.
“What? What is it?”
He looked up at her and answered with a terse, “It’s an e-mail…for you.”
Tara looked down at the screen and her eyes widened as she grabbed the phone from him.
“Son of a bitch!”
Tara swung around and reached for her own cell phone. Pulling it out, she hit a button and waited for it to ring as she continued to stare at Julian’s phone in disbelief.
“Hey, girl,” Mikayla replied as she answered.
“Where are you?”
Mikayla’s voice lost its friendly tone and grew serious. “Down in the training facility, why?”
“Phoenix just contacted me.”
“What the fuck?”
“Exactly. He left a coded message for me to contact him on some secured message board. We have to break the code to get the IP. Call everyone in. Meeting in my room in ten. If you get there before me, call into HQ,” Tara added.
“Done.”
“Who is Phoenix and how the hell did he get access to my secured e-mail. It said it was sent to me, by me?” Julian asked as Tara disconnected the call.
“He’s a hacker that has been feeding us information for the past two years. He broke into our secured server at IAD headquarters, so getting into your e-mail account would be child’s play. Our resident computer genius, Tony, was so pissed he didn’t speak to anyone for a week when that happened. Tony rerouted the protocols and we thought we were set, but right before we came here, we received another message from him, telling us about the sarin auction. Let’s get dressed.”
