She said it helped her cope, that it made everything ok and made her feel good just for a little while so I thought I'd try a bit to see if it was true.
She wasn't lying it felt amazing, and that's where it all started from.
If it wasn't for Johnny then things would've gone a different way. I wouldn't be where I am today. I was sixteen when I moved in with him at his parents. That's when I started messing around and writing things down for no one other than myself. Johnny saw them one day and asked what I was doing. I told him it was nothing I just write things down as a way of coping with my feelings. He told me I should write it as a song, even gave me his old ratty Gibson guitar. So I did, and that’s when he started writing the music to them.
As we got better we started attending open mic nights all over London and in doing that we met Max and Liam and before we knew it were jamming together every chance we got. Doing gigs in the local pubs, with the occasional local festival thrown in and that's when Syren was born and we’ve been together ever since. I didn't have much to do with Rebecca after that unless I needed a quick fix, and she never let me down it was our little secret for a while.
Having being discovered at such a young age it was amazing we travelled all over the world, made millions of pounds and slept with countless of women for me it was mainly Rebecca cause she was always there when I wanted something, it was either sex or drugs sometimes both at the same time. She never complained because I was paying for her addiction to.
Eighteen was no age really. We were boys trying to act like men. When in reality we had no fucking clue.
Snapping myself out of my thoughts I realize,
I never rang her back.
*****
The best is yet to come
Chapter 3
Allie
The rest of the week consisted of the same routine I’ve been doing for the past four years, wake up, eat, go to class, go to work and then crash in my bed. And lucky for me no more of my stuff ended up in the freezer.
When Friday afternoon rolled around I was actually looking forward to a lie in and a day of doing nothing apart from working a late shift at the bar tomorrow night.
Walking out of my last class for the day I find a group of students off to the side all huddled around the notice board, which I needed to get through in order to leave the building. As I get near all the girls were screeching and a few “Hell yeahs” were thrown in there for good measure, I walk towards them with my curiosity getting the better of me. I come to a standstill when Billie-Jo one of the other dancers I have a class with comes bouncing towards me with a pamphlet flying about in the air. Shoving it under my nose and slightly out of breath, which I’m not surprised at from bouncing around the way she was. The way she still is.
“Look at this Allie!”
“How in god’s name am I meant to see anything when you have it that close to my eyes, I’m almost crossed-eyed and seeing double you mad cow!”
“This my friend is the mother fucker of all auditions. The audition that could change our lives.”
“What? Billie-Jo you’re not making any sense?” I don’t understand a word she’s saying because she’s still bouncing around like a mad women on steroids and that stupid pamphlet flapping in her hand still. Stepping forward I grab her by the shoulders and in a soothing voice say to her.
“Billie calm down and explain to me from the beginning what the hell you are talking about?”
Taking a deep breath she regains her composure and I hope a little bit of her dignity and manages to hand me the piece of paper and when I start reading through it I can’t quite believe what I’m seeing.
The Connor Blackwood and his band Syren are holding auditions for dancers for their new European tour this year on the 6th of February at 9AM right here in the Academy’s auditorium. Doing a mental calculation in my head if today’s the 23rd January then that makes the auditions two weeks away.
Shaking my head and sighing I turn back to Billie-Jo.
“There’s no way on earth we can do this. The auditions are in like two weeks, that is nowhere near enough time to prepare never mind rehearse.”
With her now shaking her head at me she grabs me by the shoulders and looks me in the eyes and in a serious tone she speaks.
“Look at me Allie you are one of the best dancers in this school, apart from me of course,” she just smiles at me. “If anyone can do this then it’s you my friend, isn't this what you’ve been working that tight arse off for?” then the cheeky mare has the audacity to actually smack my arse.
“Have you been drinking this early in the day?” I laugh at her whilst rubbing my now sore backside. “And I do not have a tight arse.” Slapping my shoulder and turning us to the doors again we make are way out as she continues.
“And your avoiding what I’m saying. So just have a look and think about it. If you don’t get the job at least you can say you danced for Connor Blackwood.”
“Yeah and also be humiliated because he laughed me off stage.”
“Don’t be such a downer on yourself Allie take the weekend to think about it and let Miss Whitney know on Monday if she’s to put your name down on the list.”
Nodding my head as a reply. “Ok I’ll think about it. I’ll see you over the weekend if you come to the bar for a drink yeah?”
“You know me girl if there’s shots I’ll be there.” Waving me off.
I head out the door in the opposite direction to her popping my ear buds in my ears, I scroll through my music selecting my playlist and within seconds The Pixies are crooning in my ears and asking “Where is my mind?”
I couldn’t wait get in the house and just fall into bed having nothing to do what so ever till Saturday night so I crashed. Goodnight world, hello cover and pillows.
After my well earned lie in this morning I spend my day doing sweet FA, I’ve taken a nice soak in the bath ready for work tonight but that’s my extent of doing anything energetic. My minds been occupied with this audition I want to do it, I just don’t think I can with only two weeks to prepare. I mean come on its Connor Blackwood the man is a god and Syren are bloody amazing. I’ve always wanted to see the band live but with every penny I earn accounted for these days not much has been left over for such luxuries.
The front door slamming shut and Karina's frown on her face brings me back to here and now.
“You!” Pointing her finger at me.
“What?” feeling slightly confused sitting down next to me on our worn but very comfy sofa she hands me the same pamphlet that Billie-Jo gave me yesterday.
“Where did you get that?” Feigning surprise.
“Well yet again you dumped your bag by the door last night and when I went to put said bag in the freezer it fell out.”
Narrowing my eyes at her I grit my teeth. “Stop putting my stuff in the freezer and I was wiped out and forgot ok?”
“No it’s not bloody ok why didn’t you tell me about the auditions? Are you kidding me right now Allie? You tell your parents go to hell so you could do what you love, I’ve sat and watched you work your arse off to pay for that fancy dance school and the chance of a lifetime is right in front of you and you don’t know if you’re going to do it.” She’s seething with me, maybe even a little disappointed in me.
“For starters I never told you if I was or wasn't going to audition but... when you put it like that I guess I can see your point and why you would be mad with me, but it’s in two weeks there’s no way I can be ready in time." I tell her.
“Look mofo, and I’m being serious when I say this. There is no way I’m going to let you pass this up ok? So stop doubting your ability and bloody go for it. I’ve seen the way you dance so I know you can do this. Plus if you do you could be on tour with Connor freaking Blackwood, that man is a walking wet dream.”
Laughing at the dirty bitch in front of me I shrug my shoulders and nonchalantly say. “We’ll see.” Groaning in frustration she gets up and walks to our tiny little kitchen
and shouts back at me.
“You’re crazy if you don’t do this Allie.”
Not answering her back I get up and slowly walk to my room whilst thinking am I crazy for not jumping all over this? Answering my own question. “Yes, a big fat yes.” I know I want this. I know I can do this.
*****
I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me
Chapter 4
Allie
I’ve decided I must be mental, for the past eleven day’s my schedule has been manic apart from the occasional cereal bar or sandwich I’ve grabbed at the academy I haven’t eaten a proper meal, not that I can’t afford to lose a few extra pounds off my arse and hips. At 5” 1 with slim shoulders and a tiny waist my hips and arse stick out like a sore thumb.
I’ve done everything I can do to fit in preparation and rehearsal time for the audition which is in three bloody days, might I add. Miss Whitney was over the moon when I came into class on the following Monday morning and told her I would be auditioning, she even went as far as letting me use her classroom for extra rehearsal time which I was very grateful for.
Making my way home after another late night of rehearsing all I want to do is have a hot bath and crash in my bed, distracting me from my thoughts I hear my phone ringing in my bag after what seems like forever searching for the god dam thing I locate it at the bottom underneath all the crap I seem to be carrying around and see Mofo flashing on my screen, just what I need another one of Karina’s panicked phone call’s because I'm not home yet. Six times this week alone she’s called me because I hadn’t either A, not replied to a text she’d sent me or B I’m not home by some imaginary curfew she’s set for me. I know she worries she’s my best friend and London isn’t exactly the safest place for a young woman to be walking around at night but I’m a big girl, plus I have pepper spray in my bag.
Answering the phone on a sigh and expecting a lecture from her I say “I’m on my way home now so there’s no need to send out a search party” laughing down the phone she giggles “That’s nice to know, but actually could you do me a favor please? Could you just call in Grays for a few minutes please, I have something really important to show you and considering we're like two ship’s passing in the night at the minute it’s the only chance I will get to show you,” she complains down the phone.
“Really mofo? As in right now? Can’t it wait till in the morning?”
“No it can't because we both know you will be up and out before I have even thought about rolling over,” snapping in an annoyed tone but knowing I can’t be too pissed off because she’s right as always, “Right ok I’ll come to you but only for ten minutes I’m exhausted and I stink of sweat,” hoping my BO will put her off “Ok ok ten minutes I’ll see you in a few, and FYI to much information.” She says as she hangs up on me.
Picking up my pace so I can get there and see what she wants I head to Gray’s in Covent Garden. I’ve worked in Gray’s since my parents cut me off it was the only place I could get a job without having any work experience, so the people I work with I see not only as friends but also my family.
Turning down the street Gray’s is situated on I make a mental note to rip Karina a new one for making me come here tonight, if I've not been rehearsing I’ve been working and tonight is my only night off before the audition.
Pushing open the heavy oak door to the pub I stand in complete shock as various voices shout “SUPRISE” and in the middle of the crowd stands Karina, Juliet one of my co-workers and Avery my boss holding a massive “GOOD LUCK ALLIE” banner. Covering my face with my hands to hide my blushing cheeks Marcus our very gay cocktail maker comes over to me pulling my hands away and hugging me whispering “good luck” wishes in my ear and handing me what clearly is a shot of tequila judging by the potent smell coming from the shot glass, “Drink” he orders me, giving him my best death glare I throw the shot of tequila back spluttering and coughing as it burns the back of my throat “good girl” he smiles as he walks away putting the empty glass on the bar. Karina moves slowly over to me with a sheepish look on her face and her arms splayed out wide in a peace offering gesture.
“Please don’t be mad at me I just had to get you here it was Avery’s and Juliet’s idea but don’t be mad at them either.” She quickly adds. “They just want to support you and wish you luck altho personally I don’t think you need luck because your going kick ass.” She smiles at me.
”I’m not mad, shocked yes but I’m not mad so don’t worry.” Giving her a hug so she knows were ok.
“Good, because you deserve to let your hair down and have some fun after all your hard work.” Just as were pulling away from our hug Avery and Juliet come over giving me hugs and kisses on my cheek.
“We just wanted to show you how proud of you we are Allie.” Say’s Avery casting his eyes to the floor probably thinking I’m going to go mad.
"It’s ok guy’s honestly, I appreciate it I’m just shocked but thank you.”
“Good.” Juliet smirks “Because I’m covering your shifts for the next two nights so you can enjoy yourself tonight and get some extra rehearsal time in, we know how important this is to you.” “Really?” The shock clearly written all over my face. “ You don’t have to do that Juliet.”
“I want to Allie, you deserve this, now come on let's party and have some fun it isn’t very often we're this side of the bar.” She smirks at Avery who’s laughing at her for her little dig at him.
I take my coat and bag in the back where we store our stuff when we’re working and head out to enjoy the party that my friends have thrown for me.
Excusing myself from yet another one of our regulars wanting to wish me good luck I head to the toilet for a five minute breather, everywhere I’ve turned there’s been someone waiting to wish me luck or waiting to shove another drink in my hand, I’ve lost count of how many cheeky vimto’s I've had handed to me all I know is I’m definitely going be peeing purple for at least a week. Holding onto the sink to keep my balance I realize I’m more drunk than I originally thought and it’s definitely time for me to head home and get in bed before I end up sleeping on the bathroom floor with my head stuck in the toilet. Staggering back out into the main bar I make my way round the other side of the bar saying my “Thank you's” and “Goodbyes” as I go and grabbing my stuff from the back I make my way over to an equally drunk Karina who’s sucking face with a guy I recognize, but for the life of me I can not remember this dude’s name.
“Hmmm” I growl in my throat trying to get her attention. After another two attempts and a poking in the ribs, she finally acknowledges me. “Oh hey” she slurs at me on a giggle, “What’s up mofo?” She questions with a very unladylike burp.
“I’m going home, I’m gonna grab a taxi, I’m far too tired and drunk to walk and I just really want my bed.” I yawn at her putting my hand over my mouth to hide how tired I am.
Staggering towards me and nearly tripping over a chair.
“Whoops.” She laughs “I'm going to come with you so your not on your own, plus if I stay here I might do something I know I will regret in the morning.” She whispers flipping her thumb over her shoulder at the guy who’s name I still cannot for the life of me remember.
“Thanks.” I hear him mumble
“Oh get a grip Travis.” She huff’s.”
Travis that's the dudes bloody name.
“We both know this was stupid so don’t let your ego get too bruised.” She giggles as she puts on her jacket “Maybe some other time ay?" Not giving him time to answer she put’s her arm through mine dragging me out the door and heading for home.
Oh my god.
I’am freaking the hell out.
The audition is in twenty four bloody hour’s and considering I spent most of yesterday feeling like my stomach was going fall out my ass and my head was going to explode with the hangover from hell, it’s safe to say I did no rehearsing or got dressed for that matter.
Grabbing a cerea
l bar from the cupboard I head out the door and make my way to the academy.
Dean Michaels the head of our school has been letting us use the dance studio on weekends to rehearse. I’ve got a two hour slot to try and get as much done as I possibly can. I think I know what I'm doing... at least I hope I know what I'm doing. I have my music that I've chosen and I'm going to put all my dance lesson’s to use other than that I'm just winging it and doing what I feel’s right in the moment.
After my very long very sweaty two hour rehearsal, I make my way to the vending machine for a bottle of water when I hear an angry voice just around the corner of the corridor..
“What the fuck Clint? I’m here aren’t I? I agreed to the dancers what more do you want?"
Poking my head around the corner to see who it is, I'm met with what I can only describe has a pure wall of muscle, 6 feet of it. The angry dude might only have a t-shirt on but I can still see his muscles trying to make an escape from the confines of the material. Is it who I think it is? If it is he's a lot taller than I imagined he'd be. Hmm maybe not everything you read in the magazine and papers are true because the pictures clearly aren't.
“Listen...” Says the guy I presume is Clint. “We have to make this work Connor, or you can kiss your career good fucking bye”
Oh my god.....It's Connor Blackwood....Sryen’s front man and the ultimate bad boy of the music industry.
Feeling like I'm intruding with my eavesdropping on what’s clearly supposed to be a private conversation, I quickly dart my eyes around scanning my surroundings and try to plan my quiet escape when I hear a phone ringing and Connor say-
"Sorry... Clint I've got take this." He's says whilst pulling his phone from his pocket and walks away and.. Oh shit.. Towards me... I hide further round the corner.
Syren's Angel (The Syren Series Book 1) Page 2
