Tori drew a deep breath, a shaky deep breath. “Okay. I’m going to drive into Casper and do some shopping.”
“Casper? What are you shopping for?” Casper was a two-hour drive away. Usually they only went to Casper for something terribly important.
“My peace of mind,” Tori whispered. “I’ll be back this evening.”
“Want to stay at the ranch?”
“No. This is my home now, and I won’t be driven out of it. But I need some space before I’m strong enough to stand firm.”
“All right. If we can do anything, let me know.”
“I will. Thanks, Mom.” She’d always been grateful that her parents let her fight her own battles, but they always let her know they were there if she needed them.
She slipped out of the office and hurried to her car. Once inside, she locked her doors and drove away.
JESSICA AND RUSS WERE sitting in the booth facing the street and both saw Tori drive away. Jess looked at him, but Russ shook his head. Tori had given him a thumbnail sketch of the difficulty.
He liked Jon. Not only was he a skilled doctor, but he was also a man who cared about his patients, just the kind of doctor they wanted. But if it was a choice between Jon and Tori, he’d come down on Tori’s side. She was family.
“I want to apologize for my father constantly interrupting your work, Jessica. I’m going to take a few days off to entertain him, so—”
“No, Jon, you can’t,” Russ said calmly.
Jon stared at his friend. “What are you talking about?”
“I need Bill. He promised to help get me caught up until he leaves. I think he’s happy with that arrangement, aren’t you, Bill?”
Bill looked absolutely hangdog, but he nodded.
“But, Bill, if you want to do things with Jon instead of work, it’s okay, you know,” Russ added, not sure now that the older man liked the arrangement.
“Wait a minute!” Jon barked. “Are you telling me my father is working during his vacation? He’s supposed to be relaxing.”
Bill said nothing.
Mona, who’d taken their orders and brought cups and saucers and a pot of coffee, came back to the table. They all sat silently while she filled the cups. Then she delivered their cinnamon buns.
It had given Jon time to think. “Are you liking the work, Dad?” He tried to keep any judgment from his voice.
Bill perked up and said, “It’s great! Tori and Jessica are fun to work with, and I love the software Russ uses. I feel like I’m doing real work. I really—” He stopped, his face stricken. Then he began again in a sedate manner. “It gives me something to do while you’re at work, son.”
Jon ran his hand over his face and condemned himself. “I see. I should’ve done a better job of paying attention.”
“No, no, you’re fine, Jon. You’re the best son there is!”
“Thanks, Dad, but you’re blind to my faults, and I have a lot of them.”
Bill began to protest, but Jon shushed him. “Russ, how much longer will you be able to use Dad’s help?”
“We can use him as long as he’s willing to work,” he said. “I know he’s supposed to go home on Sunday, so—”
Jon grinned. “No, you don’t understand the question. Is there a chance for permanent employment with you?”
“Heck, yeah! Tori says he’s great. We’ve been thinking about taking on some help, but the job pool in Rawhide is kind of small. Especially for people with his skills,” Russ explained.
Bill’s expression was anxious and eager at the same time.
“You mean, Bill might stay?” Jessica asked excitedly.
“If he wants to,” Jon agreed.
“Well, of course he wants to!” Jessica exclaimed. “Rawhide is much better than Chicago. Right, Bill?”
“Right!” Bill agreed, beaming. “Do you think I can move here, Jon? It won’t upset you? And what about Aunt Tabitha?”
“Dad, the only reason I was coming back to Chicago is because of you and Aunt Tabitha. I wanted to make sure you were happy. We’ll tell Aunt Tabitha she can move in with her friend, or come here. We’ll find her a place to live.”
“Tabitha seems to like being with her friend.”
“Well, we’ll give her a choice, Dad. I’d be delighted if you moved here.”
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Bill exclaimed.
“Will Tori object?” Jon abruptly asked.
It was Jessica again who answered. “Of course not. She loves Bill!”
Russ shrugged.
Jon slid out of the booth.
“Where are you going, Jon?” Russ asked.
“To talk to Tori.”
“She’s not there. She left a few minutes ago.”
“Where’d she go?”
“I don’t know. She told me she needed to be alone.”
“Well, damn it, that’s not what I need!”
“Did you get her note?” Russ asked.
Jon froze, staring intently at Russ. “What note?”
“She said she sent you a note with Anna.”
Without a word, Jon raced out of the café.
IT WAS AFTER EIGHT when Tori parked in the back of her apartment. She didn’t get out of the car until she’d checked to be sure Jon wasn’t around. Then she scurried up the stairs to her apartment, quietly slipping in. Not exactly the brave front she’d promised herself.
She made a quick call to her mother to let her know she was home, but she didn’t have a conversation, really. Then she undressed and grabbed a quick shower. She was exhausted. And looked it, she decided, staring into the mirror in the bathroom.
She had circles under her eyes and she was too pale. Maybe the fact that she hadn’t stopped for dinner had something to do with it. Or maybe it was lunch. The day had slipped away. She hadn’t done any shopping. She hadn’t had the heart for it.
She’d asked herself the question, “What am I going to do for four years?” over and over again. Maybe she’d take a boat to Australia, and tour that country for six months. She had enough money.
But why spend it when Australia wouldn’t look any different from Wyoming? Not because it really was like Wyoming, but because she wouldn’t be looking. Or she could open a branch office in Buffalo. Far enough away not to see or hear about Jon, but close enough to see her family occasionally. Yes, that would be a better choice. She couldn’t give up her family.
She’d have to wait a week or two to talk to Russ about it. It would help if Bill could remain working for them. Then it wouldn’t be so hard on Russ.
She was too tired to think anymore tonight. She was going straight to bed. As Scarlett said, “Tomorrow is another day.”
And she was right. But there was no guarantee it would be a better day.
Dressed in one of her long T-shirts and panties, she pulled back the cover on her bed, just as the pounding started on her door.
She knew who was there. Jon would want to properly express his sentiments. She’d like to ignore him, but better to let him get the words out tonight, than to fear facing them tomorrow.
She slipped on a robe and went to the door. “Who is it?”
“You know who it is,” he said calmly. “Open up, Tori.”
After a moment, she did so.
Without words, he pushed past her and pulled out a chair at her table.
She remained by the door. “Come right in, Jon. It doesn’t matter that I’m ready for bed. Of course I want to talk to you.”
“Good.”
With a sigh, she closed the door and came to the table, noticing for the first time that he carried a grocery sack. “It’s not necessary to bring food every time you— Of course, I don’t need to tell you that, because you won’t be coming over anymore.”
“Why not?”
She was trying to be strong, but he wasn’t cooperating. “Didn’t you get my note?”
“Yeah. Wasn’t it a little early for the test?”
“I’m not pregnant! You’r
e free to go on with your life! Got that, Jon?”
He looked at her solemnly, and she couldn’t stand it. She turned away, crossing her arms over her chest. If she didn’t, he would see her trembling hands. “You need to leave, Jon. Our conversation is over.”
“What conversation? Sit down, Tori. I brought a snack.”
He opened his sack and reached in.
“I don’t care what you brought, Jon. I want you to leave. I can’t—”
She stopped, because she saw what he put on the table. Ice cream and pickles. Typical pregnancy food.
“Damn it, get out! Stop tormenting me! Just go—” She couldn’t believe she had any more tears to shed, but there they were again, streaming down her cheeks. “I’m—not—pregnant!”
He stood up and took her into his arms. She was too weak, too distraught, too everything to protest.
“I know you’re not, sweetheart. I thought we’d get a head start on next time.” He squeezed her closer to him. “Only this time, we’ll get married first.”
Standing in his arms, hiding her face in his shirt, it took several minutes for his words to penetrate her grief. Finally she raised her tear-streaked face and stared at him. “What did you say?” she asked, hiccuping.
“I said what I’ve been trying to say for a long time. I love you. I think I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you, but then I made love to you too soon, and it messed everything up.”
“That’s not true! When you realized—at the cabin, you were—you don’t, either!”
“I made a mistake. I was stunned by our lovemaking, sweetheart. It was so incredibly powerful. Then I realized what I’d done. I’m a doctor! I preach about unprotected sex! I even said something to Casey the other night. But I didn’t practice it? With you? I risked hurting you? I was furious with myself, not you. When we made love, I didn’t want to let you go. And I’ve been trying to find a way to get close to you again ever since.”
“You could’ve told me!” she protested, still frowning but no longer crying.
“You’ve got to be kidding. You wouldn’t talk to me. You hardly even looked at me. So I tried to find out about the baby. That made you furious. I didn’t know what to do.”
She buried her head in his shirtfront. “I—I wanted the baby. I was so sad when I took the test.”
“I should have been here with you, sweetheart, but you shut me out.”
She backed out of his arms, her hands on her hips. “How was I supposed to know it mattered to you?”
“I don’t know, since you wouldn’t share your feelings with me.”
“Oh, so I’m supposed to share while you hide your feelings? I don’t think so.”
He grinned. “Couldn’t you tell I love you? That Gabe Randall made me sick to my stomach, until Jennifer came into the picture? I’m grateful to her, now.”
She gave a watery chuckle. “He was smitten, wasn’t he? I hope Jennifer is sweet to him. Gabe hasn’t had a happy life. I want someone to love him.”
“Do you think Jennifer is the kind to be there for someone else?”
“I think she can be. Anyway, Gabe will be around a lot to see Jennifer, he said, so I’m glad you don’t hate him.”
“As long as it’s Jennifer he wants to see, he’s welcome anytime. What’s one more Randall?”
“Jon,” she said then, her voice wobbling. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m happy about Gabe and Jennifer.”
“No! I mean about—about loving me?”
He pulled her back into his arms. “As sure as I am about staying in Rawhide, with you, for the rest of my life.”
“But—but you said you were leaving in four years.”
“If I did, would you go with me?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Yes. I’d rather stay here, but, yes, I’d go with you.”
Now there were tears in his eyes. “I love you so much. But I won’t ask that of you, sweetheart. I was going back to Chicago for Dad and Aunt Tabitha. But Dad has been caught up in the magic of Rawhide and he wants to stay as much as I do. We’re going to make arrangements with Aunt Tabitha.”
He kissed her once, and then continued reslanting his mouth over hers to get closer, covering her soft skin with his hands, sliding them under her T-shirt, finally exploring the secrets it hid.
Until something plopped on his shoe.
“Oh, dear,” Tori exclaimed, breathing shallowly, “the ice cream’s melting!”
Jon picked up the carton and put it in the sink. Grabbing a paper towel, he wiped up the soggy mess left on the table. Then he swept Tori up into his arms and headed for the bedroom.
“Maybe if we put it in the freezer, it will keep,” she said, looking over his shoulder.
“Don’t worry about the ice cream, sweetheart. I’ll buy more, along with the pickles, whenever you need them. And hopefully, it will be real soon.”
Epilogue
“Anything else?” Jon called as he came in the front door.
“No, that’s everything. I’m coming back tomorrow to make sure it’s sparkling clean for Bill.”
“Dad’s real excited about having his own apartment,” Jon said with a grin. His father might be excited, but not as much as Jon. He’d bought Russ’s home from him. He and Tori, Mrs. Tori Wilson, were moving in today. They’d taken out the furniture Russ had left in the house and changed the decor. They didn’t want Russ to avoid them because he couldn’t bear the memories, but he’d helped them move some things in already.
He would never forget Abby, and Tori didn’t want him to. But one day perhaps he could heal.
“Then let’s go home, sweetheart,” Jon suggested. “I want to continue our work on the need for ice cream and pickles.”
Jon had moved into her apartment right away and they’d had a small wedding, as small a wedding as a Randall family wedding could be.
“We’d better. I want you to be able to carry me over the threshold before I get so big you can’t lift me,” she said.
“Oh, we’ve got plenty of time,” he said with a laugh.
“And you call yourself a doctor!” she teased.
Jon scooped her into his arms and started for the door but suddenly stopped, staring at Tori’s smile.
“You’re not!”
With big innocent blue eyes, she said, “Not what, dear?”
“You’re not pregnant! Are you?”
“I haven’t taken a test yet.”
“Damn the tests! Are you?”
“I think so, but then I’m not a doctor!”
He kissed her with all his heart. He couldn’t ask for any more happiness. His family around him—a much-expanded family—Tori in his arms and a child on the way.
When he’d borrowed the money for his loan, he’d never guessed he would get such happiness in return.
It was the best bargain he’d ever made.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-5874-1
RANDALL HONOR
Copyright © 2002 by Judy Russell Christenberry.
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