by Rex Stout
“Yes, sir.”
“Why did you do that?”
She frowned, but said, “Because something happened.”
“Good. What happened?”
She shook her head.
“Come, Miss Fiore.” Wolfe was quiet. “There is no reason on earth why you shouldn’t tell me.”
She turned her head to look at me, and then back at him again. After a moment she said, “I’ll tell Mr. Archie.”
“Good. Tell Mr. Archie.”
She spoke to me. “I got a letter.”
Wolfe shot a glance at me and I took it up. “You got a letter yesterday?”
She nodded. “Yesterday morning.”
“Who was it from?”
“I don’t know. There was no name, it was on typewriter, and on the envelope it said only Anna and the address, not the rest of my name. Mrs. Ricci gets the mail from the box and she brought it to me but I didn’t want to open it where she was because I never get a letter. I went downstairs where I sleep and opened it.”
“What did it say?”
She looked at me a moment without replying, and then suddenly she smiled, a funny smile that made me feel queer so that it wasn’t easy to look at her. But I kept my eyes on hers. Then she said, “I’ll show you what was in it, Mr. Archie,” and reached down and pulled her skirt up above her knee, shoved her hand down inside of her stocking, and brought it out again with something in it. I stared as she unrolled five twenty-dollar bills and spread them out for me to see.
“You mean that was in the letter?”
She nodded. “One hundred dollars.”
“So I see. But there was something typewritten.”
“Yes. It said that if I would never tell anyone anything about Mr. Maffei or anything he ever did I could keep the money. But if I would not do that, if I told about him, I would have to burn it. I burned the letter, but I will not burn the money. I will keep it.”
“You burned the letter?”
“Yes.”
“And the envelope?”
“Yes.”
“And you think you won’t tell anyone about Mr. Maffei or about that golf club?”
“I never will.”
I looked at her. Wolfe’s chin was on his chest, but he was looking at her too. I got up from my chair. “Well, of all the damn fairy stories-”
“Archie! Apologize.”
“But good heavens-”
“Apologize.”
I turned to the girl. “I apologize, but when I think of all the gas I burned up riding you around the park-” I sat down.
Wolfe said, “Miss Fiore, did you happen to notice the postmark? The little round thing on the envelope that tells where it was mailed?”
“No, sir.”
“Of course not. By the way, that money did no belong to the man who sent it to you. He took it from Carlo Maffei’s pocket.”
“I will keep it, sir.”
“No doubt you will. You may not be aware that the police knew of this they would take it from you ruthlessly. But do not be alarmed; your confidence in Mr. Archie is not misplaced.” He turned to me. “Grace and charm are always admirable qualities and some times useful. Take Miss Fiore home.”
I protested. “But why not-”
“No. Get her to burn those bills by replacing then from your expense book? No. She would not do it; but even if she would, I would not see money burned to save beauty herself from any grave that might be dug for her. The destruction of money is the only authentic sacrilege left us to abhor. Possibly you don’t realize what that hundred dollars means to Miss Fiore; to her it represents the unimaginable reward for a desperate and heroic act. Now that she has it safely back in its crypt, take her home.” He started to get himself out of his chair. “Good day, Miss Fiore. I have paid you a rare compliment; I have assumed that you mean what you say. Good morning.”
I was at the door telling her to come on.
Going back downtown I let her alone. I was pretty sore, after kidnapping her and driving her around in style for nearly an hour to have her go moron on us but there was no use wasting breath on her. At Sullivan Street I just dumped her out on the sidewalk with a good deal of satisfaction, thinking that Wolfe had been elegant enough for both of us.
She stood there. As I pulled the gear shift lever to go on she said, “Thank you, Mr. Archie.”
She was being elegant! She had caught it from Wolfe. I said, “You���re not welcome, Anna, but goodbye and no hard feelings,” and rolled off.
CHAPTER 6
It was during the half-hour that I was gone taking Anna Fiore home that Wolfe had a relapse. It was a bad one, and it lasted three days. When I got back to Thirty-fifth Street he was sitting in the kitchen, by the little table where I always ate breakfast, drinking beer with three bottles already gone, arguing with Fritz whether chives should be used in tomato tarts. I stood and listened a few minutes without saying anything, then I went upstairs to my room and got a bottle of rye from the closet and took a drink.
I had never really understood Wolfe���s relapses. Sometimes it seemed plain that it was just ordinary discouragement and funk, like the time the taxi driver ran out on us in the Pine Street case, but other times there was no accounting for it at all. Everything would be sailing along and it would look to me as if we were about ready to wrap up the package and deliver it C.O.D., when for no reason at all he would lose interest. He was out and that was all there was to it. Nothing that I could say made the slightest dent on him. It might last anywhere from one afternoon up to a couple of weeks, or it was even possible that he was out for good and wouldn���t come back until something new turned up. While it lasted he acted one of two different ways: either he went to bed and stayed there, living on bread and onion soup, refusing to see anyone but me and forbidding me to mention anything I had on my mind; or he sat in the kitchen telling Fritz how to cook things and then eating them on my little table. He ate a whole half a sheep that way in two days once, different parts of it cooked in twenty different ways. At such times I usually had my tongue out from running all over town from the Battery to Bronx Park, trying to find some herb or root or maybe cordial that they needed in the dish they were going to do next. The only time I ever quit Wolfe was when he sent me to a Brooklyn dock where a tramp steamer from China was tied up, to try to buy some badden-root from the captain. The captain must have had a cargo of opium or something to make him suspicious; anyway he took it for granted that I was looking for trouble and filled my order by having half a dozen skinny savages wrap things around my skull. I quit the next afternoon, phoning from the hospital, but a day later Wolfe came and took me home, and I was so astonished that he actually came himself that I forgot I had quit. That finished that relapse, too.
This day I knew it was a relapse as soon as I saw him sitting in the kitchen arguing with Fritz, and I was so disgusted that after I had gone upstairs and had a couple of drinks I came down again and went out. I started walking, but after a few blocks the appetite from the drinks was quite active and I stopped at a restaurant for a meal. No restaurant meal was much after seven years of Fritz���s everyday cooking, but I wouldn���t go home to eat; in the first place I was disgusted and in the second place those relapse menus couldn���t be depended on-sometimes it was a feast for an epicure, sometimes it was a dainty little taste good for eighty cents in Schrafft���s and sometimes it was just a mess.
But after the meal I felt better, and I walked back to Thirty-fifth Street and told Wolfe what Anderson had said that morning and added that it looked to me as if there would be something doing before the full moon came.
Wolfe was still sitting at the little table, watching Fritz stir something in a pan. He looked at me as if he was trying to remember where he had seen me before. He said, “Don���t ever mention that shyster���s name to me again.”
I said, hoping to get him sore, “This morning I phoned Harry Foster at the Gazette and told him what was up. I knew you�
���d want plenty of publicity.”
He didn���t hear me. He said to Fritz, “Have boiling water ready in case it should disunite.”
I went upstairs to tell Horstmann he���d have to nurse his babies alone that afternoon and maybe for a week. He would be miserable. It was always funny how he pretended to be annoyed when Wolfe was around, but if anything happened to keep Wolfe from showing up on the dot at nine or four he was so worried and anxious you might have thought mealy bugs were after him. So I went upstairs to make him miserable.
That was two o���clock Friday afternoon, and the first sane look I got from Wolfe was eleven Monday morning, sixty-nine hours later.
In between things happened a little. First was the telephone call from Harry Foster Friday around four. I���d been expecting it. He said they had dug Barstow up and done the autopsy but wouldn���t make any announcement. It wasn���t his story any more; others had got wind of it and were hanging around the coroner���s office.
A little after six the second phone call came. This time it was Anderson. I grinned when I heard his voice and glanced at my wrist; I could see him fuming around waiting for six o���clock. He said he wanted to talk to Wolfe.
“I���m sorry, Mr. Wolfe is busy. This is Goodwin.”
He said he wanted Wolfe to come to White Plains. I laughed at him. He rang off. I didn���t like it, he struck me as a bad guy. After thinking it over a little I called up Henry H. Barber at his apartment and got all the dope on things like accessories and arrests of material witnesses. Then I went to the kitchen and told Wolfe about the two phone calls. He wiggled a spoon at me.
“Archie. This Anderson is a disease. Cleanse the telephone. Did I forbid mention of his name?”
I said, “I���m sorry, I should have known better. You know what I think, sir. A nut is always a nut even when it���s you. I want to talk to Fritz.”
Wolfe wasn���t listening. I told Fritz that for dinner I would come and get sandwiches and take them to the office, and then I told him that when the buzzer rang, until further notice, he was not to go to the door, I would attend to it. Under no circumstances was he to open the door.
I knew it was probably uncalled-for precaution, but I was taking no chances on anyone busting in there with Wolfe in one of his Bloomingdale moods. I was glad he hadn���t tried to send me for anything and I hoped he wouldn���t, for I wouldn���t have gone. If it was a washout, all right, but I wasn���t going to let them make ninnies of us if I could help it. Nothing happened that night. The next morning I stayed out of Wolfe���s way, mostly in the front room, opening the door to a gas man and an expressman, and once to a slick youth that wanted to get helped through college. I helped him as far as the bottom of the stoop. It was around eleven when I obeyed the buzzer by opening the door again and found a big husky standing against it, coming in with it, his foot sliding along. I gave him a good solid stiff-arm and pushed him back, and went on out, shutting the door behind me.
I said, “Good morning. Who invited you?”
He said, “It wasn���t you anyhow. I want to see Nero Wolfe.”
“You can���t. He���s sick. What do you want?”
He smiled, being smooth, and handed me a card. I looked at it.
“Sure. From Anderson���s office. His right-hand man? What do you want?”
“You know what I want,” he smiled. “Let���s go in and talk it over.”
I didn���t see any sense in trying to be coy. Anyway I had no idea when Wolfe might kick out of it, and that made me sick. So I covered it all in as few words as possible. I told him that Wolfe didn���t know one thing that they didn���t know, at least nothing that applied to Barstow, and that what he did know came to him in a dream. I told him that if they wanted Wolfe on the case at a price to say so and name the price and he would take it or leave it. I told him that if they wanted to try any funny warrants they would be surprised how funny they���d turn out to be before Wolfe got through with them. Then I told him that I could see that he weighed twenty pounds more than I did and that therefore I wouldn���t attempt to go back in the house until he had departed, and that I would appreciate it if he would get a move on because I was reading an interesting book. He inserted a few remarks as I went along, but when I finished all he said was: “Tell Wolfe he can���t get away with it.”
“Sure. Any other message?”
“Just ‘go to hell’ for you.”
I grinned, and stood on the stoop watching him as he walked off, headed east. I had never heard of him before, but I didn���t know Westchester very well. The name on the card was H. R. Corbett. I went back to the front room and sat and smoked cigarettes.
After lunch, some time around four, I heard a newsy out in the street calling an extra. I went out and called him and bought one. There it was taking up half of the front page: BARSTOW POISONED-DART FOUND IN BODY. I read it through. If ever I had a pain in the neck it was then. Of course Wolfe and I weren���t mentioned; I hadn���t expected that; but to think of what that piece might have meant to us! I kicked myself for bungling with Derwin, and again with Anderson, for I was sure it could have been handled somehow to let us in, though it was hard to see how. And I kicked Wolfe for his damn relapse. At least I wanted to. I read it again. It wasn���t a dart at all, it was a short steel needle, just as Wolfe had said, and it had been found below the stomach. Sore as I was at Wolfe, I handed it to him. There was his picture.
I went to the kitchen and laid the paper on the table in front of Wolfe without a word, and went out again. He called after me, “Archie! Get the car, here���s a list for you.”
I pretended I didn���t hear. Later Fritz went.
Next day the Sunday papers were full of it. They had sent their packs running around sniffing all over Westchester County, but they hadn���t found a thing. I read all the articles through, and I learned a lot of details about the Green Meadow Club, the Barstow family, the Kimballs who had been in the foursome, the doctor who had pulled a boner, and a lot besides, but nobody really knew any more than Wolfe had known Wednesday evening when he had asked Anna Fiore if she had ever seen a golf club in Carlo Maffei���s room. Not as much, for there was no accepted theory as to how the needle got in Barstow���s belly. All the papers had pieces by experts on poisons and what they do to you.
Sunday evening I went to a movie, telling Fritz to open the door to no one. Not that I expected anything; it looked as if Anderson was playing his own hand. Possibly, through motive or discoveries he had made, he was really lining it up. I would have got drunk that evening if it hadn���t been Sunday. When I got back from the movie Wolfe had gone up to his room, but Fritz was still in the kitchen washing up. I fried a piece of ham to make myself a sandwich and poured a glass of milk, for I hadn���t had much dinner. I noticed that the Times I had put there in the morning for Wolfe was still on top of the refrigerator just as I had left it. It was ten-to-one he hadn���t looked at it.
I read in my room until after midnight and then had trouble going to sleep on account of my mind working. But apparently there was no trouble about it after I once got started, for when I pried my eyes open in the morning enough to glance at the clock on the stand it was after nine. I was sitting on the edge of the bed yawning when I heard a noise overhead that woke me up good. Either that was two pairs of footsteps and I knew both of them or I was still dreaming. I went out in the hail and listened a minute and then ran downstairs. Fritz was in the kitchen drinking coffee. “Is that Mr. Wolfe up with Horstmann?”
“And how.” That was the only slang Fritz ever used and he always welcomed a chance to get it in. He smiled at me, glad to see me excited and happy. “Now I will just get a leg of lamb and rub garlic on it.”
“Rub poison ivy on it if you want to.” I went back up to dress.
The relapse was over! I was excited all right
. I shaved extra clean and whistled in the bathtub. With Wolfe normal again anything might happen. When I got back down to the kitchen a dish of figs and a fat omelet were ready for me, and the newspaper was propped up against the coffeepot. I started on the headlines and the figs at the same time, but halfway through a fig I stopped chewing. I raced down the paragraphs, swallowing the mouthful whole to get it out of the way. It was plain, the paper stated it as a fact. Although no confirmation was needed, I turned the pages over, running my eyes up and down and across. It was on page eight toward the bottom, a neat little ad in a neat little box:
I WILL PAY FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS REWARD
TO ANY PERSON OR PERSONS WHO WILL FURNISH
INFORMATION RESULTING IN THE DISCOVERY AND
RIGHTEOUS PUNISHMENT OF THE MURDERER OF MY
HUSBAND PETER OLIVER BARSTOW.
ELLEN BARSTOW
I read it through three times and then tossed the paper away and got calm. I finished the fruit and omelet, with three pieces of toast and three cups of coffee. Fifty grand, with the Wolfe bank balance sagging like a clothesline under a wet horse blanket; and not only that, but a chance of keeping our places on the platform in the biggest show of the season. I was calm and cool, but it was only twenty minutes after ten. I went to the office and opened the safe and dusted around and waited.
When Wolfe came down at eleven he looked fresh but not noticeably good-humored. He only nodded for good morning and didn���t seem to care much whether I was there or not as he got himself into his chair and started looking through the mail. I just waited, thinking I would show him that other people could be as hard-boiled as he was, but when he began checking off the monthly bill from Harvey���s I popped at him: “I hope you had a nice weekend, sir.”
