by Renea Mason
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. "I did feel it. I still do. Why do you think I'm here? Yes, you have a wonderful hiding place, but had you not left an impression, I wouldn't have remembered your name. I'm kind of an asshole that way. But that still doesn't explain the unwatched movie."
"The tabloid got under my skin, and several days later, I was at the store, the movie was on an end cap. I tossed it into the cart. When I thought about watching it, it didn't feel right. At first, I told myself it was because I didn't want to exploit you, knowing you felt it wasn't your favorite work, but you're a confident guy, so I knew I was lying to myself. Every time I picked it up, I set it back down. One night, I was working on a story and hit a roadblock. I walked into my room and snatched it off the dresser one more time, but this time I knew the reason." I paused and took a deep breath.
He rubbed a hand up and down my back in soothing circles. "Tell me, please…"
"I don't want to be your fan. You didn't look at me like you looked at them. That was the essence of our connection. I was someone who saw you differently than everyone else. I didn't want that to change for you. I can't explain why, but taking that away from you somehow seemed wrong. I kept going back to the fact our story had ended the moment I walked away, but it still mattered for some reason. Watching you from a distance would have changed me would have changed how I saw you. I only know you, not your characters, not your Hollywood persona, and for some reason, it was important for me to protect that for you, as stupid as it may sound."
With two fingers, he lifted my chin and stared into my eyes. "That is quite possibly the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me." His lips closed over mine. The taste of mint and musk invaded my mouth. His lips were soft and gentle—not hunger, but something else.
Our lips parted slowly, and he captured me in a tight hug. "Katherine, did you ever think for once that, maybe, our story isn't over?"
The urge to look at him was great, but the need to stay trapped in his warm arms, my head pressed against his chest with his rapid heartbeat thumping in my ear, was greater. "No."
He brushed his thumb over my cheek. "Is that why you've been so distant since last night? You've lost control of the story? This makes you uncomfortable. It makes sense now. You had me worried today."
"About what?"
He inhaled a deep breath. "When I arrived here after the shooting, and you still knew nothing about me, I thought it meant you hadn't thought about me. That bothered me because I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. That's why I had to contact you. I convinced myself that when I finish this film, I would tell you it was me emailing you. You have no idea how many times I thought of finding you since I've been here, but my schedule is so demanding. Corresponding with you gave me something to look forward to every night. After the Facebook smackdown you gave me, I thought I needed more time to prove to you I'm irresistible before I revealed my identity." He cupped my face in his hands. His mouth descended on mine. So warm. So soft. He felt so right.
I wanted to melt into him, but instead, it took everything in me to pull away. "Lachlan, please." My words garbled against his lips.
He released me and stepped back. "I'm sorry. I…thought you…"
"No. I mean…I can't. Our story ended at the airport. It wasn't meant to continue. In a few days, you're going to leave and go back to your life, and I'm supposed to do what? Watch you from afar? Pretend you don't exist? I might stand a chance if this…," I touched his lips. "...doesn't happen."
He closed his eyes. "You know, Katherine, pragmatism has its place, but not here." He tapped my chest over my heart and glared at me for a moment, before lowering his eyes to the floor. "I'm sorry."
I swallowed the knot of sadness, gathering in my throat. "Nothing to apologize for."
He turned away from me and placed the DVD back where he found it. Shouldering past me, he disappeared into the guest room.
It was too late. He owned a piece of me, and no matter how much I tried to compartmentalize, it wasn't going to be healthy. Why couldn't I be like everyone else? Enjoy a wild romp, then move on. I needed to get my head examined for turning down his advances —stupid fucking emotions.
8
Viewing
Lachlan emerged from the shower, bare chest, wet hair, and shorts hanging low on his hips. "Barry, my manager, called. I have a premiere on Thursday, so I'll be leaving tomorrow. They feel security is high enough to prevent anything bad from happening, and it might be a good way to draw him out."
"You're not concerned? They still haven't caught him." My words erupted with an accusatory tone. I bit my bottom lip, instantly regretting my outburst.
He raised an eyebrow. "No, but functions like these are very exclusive. I'd be surprised if he could get near the place. He wasn't exactly tactical last time. I have a charter flight this time, and a car will be here to pick me up tomorrow."
"OK." I straightened the items on the counter, acting as nonchalant as I could manage. "What time do you leave?"
"My flight is at ten a.m."
"You're leaving early," I said in a flat tone.
"Yeah." He studied at me. "You OK?"
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"I don't know. You don't seem yourself."
I scooped some toast crumbs into my palm and threw them in the trash can. "I'm fine."
He stared at me for another minute then walked over to pick up a photo of Daniel from the bookshelf. "Tell me about him."
"Why?"
"He was important to you, I want to know about him."
"What do you want to know?"
He shrugged a muscular shoulder. "Nothing in particular. I guess I just want to hear you tell his story."
I wiped my hands on the dishcloth and said, "Well, I attended college in Washington, DC, and was working as an intern for a security firm. Daniel had finished his training at Quantico and was the Junior Agent on the team they sent to investigate the firm I worked for. Turned out, for good reason." I wandered to the sofa and sat on the cushions across from him. "The owners were into some pretty shady stuff. Later, Daniel and I discovered we lived in the same neighborhood and kept running into each other at the market and such. He finally asked me out, and that was the beginning of everything. When my internship was up, he requested a transfer to Pittsburgh and moved here with me. I took a job with a law firm doing investigative research, and a year later, we married. Seven years later, I got the call saying he wouldn't be coming home, but I already knew. I felt it in my gut that day. I knew something was wrong. It wasn't even the job that killed him. He got caught in the crossfire of a drive-by shooting while on assignment."
Lachlan settled onto the sofa beside me and handed me Daniel's photo. "Love, that was very factual. Tell me about him. Who was he to you?"
I leaned away slightly, searching Lachlan's face for some clarification. "He was my husband, of course."
"Yes, of course." With one hand, he rubbed soothing circles on my knee. "If you were writing him into your story... Because just like us, he is also one of your stories, tell me like that. Who was he to you?"
Tears pricked my eyes. I didn't want to break down, but I wasn't sure I could do it otherwise. "Daniel was charismatic and vivacious. Always the life of the party. He had a smile that made it impossible to take anything too seriously. My love for him was more than who we were together. It was the way he made me feel. Even when there were a million competing priorities, I always felt like I was the center of his universe." I hesitated, remembering how magnetic he was. "We attended our friends' parties regularly, and, no matter who was there, people always flocked to him. An argument with Daniel was better than a day of peace with anyone else. He pushed me when I needed it and comforted me when I needed him most. He was my partner, my friend...my everything, really, and it all just disappeared." I couldn't hold back the tears. They flowed like rivers down my cheeks.
Lachlan clutched my hand. "Thank you." He reached up, making
a futile attempt to wipe the droplets from my face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Do you want to know why I wanted to know?"
I turned, setting the photo of Daniel on the end table. Not sure I wanted to hear Lachlan's answer, but I needed to. "Why?"
"All that love for Daniel inside you, with nowhere to go, it's all there in your writing. The more I read, the more I wanted to know who inspired your stories. Yesterday, in your doorway, you gave your words to me, and it overwhelmed me. You let me see a glimpse of what you gave him. I wanted to know what made him so deserving of such a gift." He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it ever so softly. "Daniel was a lucky man. Most people never find what he had after a lifetime of searching. His life may have been short, but I've no doubt it was complete. Your love made every moment count for him. If only we all could be so lucky. I wanted the honor of knowing a little about a man who harnessed your affections. The man who made you believe in happily ever after." He rose, shuffling to a box of tissues on my end table. He plucked one from the top and handed it to me.
I dabbed at my tears. "Sorry, I usually keep it together better than this."
He bent and kissed my forehead.
I released a steadying breath, finally calm enough to stop crying. "Thank you."
He tipped his head to the side, gazing at me with narrow, puzzled eyes. "Whatever for?"
"You're the only person who's asked about him. No one has ever cared about his story." The idea that he cared enough to want to know Daniel made me feel even more things for him. "What about your ex-wife?"
He rubbed his hand over my knee. "As we've established, I've made a lot of mistakes. Fame and youth are dastardly companions. After taking my fill of empty one night stands, several ending with serious complications, I met a beautiful woman. The attraction was instant. She was a costar, which is a big no-no, but the sex was great. I decided, perhaps, I needed a new direction in life. Settle down. Maybe have a family. But we never saw each other. We were always in different cities. I was faithful to her, but I was constantly lonely. It wasn't really a marriage. She decided she wanted to start a family, but I couldn't imagine how that would even work with our schedules. I'd never see my child. I couldn't agree to the terms. So, I offered to divorce her. She accepted. We're still friends, and she's remarried with several children now. I'm happy she got what she wanted."
"What about you?"
"What about me? I've made peace with the fact that I'm someone who could have just about anyone I wanted, but only because of what they see, not because of who I am. To have anything meaningful with my lifestyle takes more than a hot spark, and that's how things start. I decided it was safer for everyone I remain alone."
"That what you still want?"
He peered at the floor. "It should be."
Silence hung heavy in the air. I refused to explore it on the eve of his departure. "I have to get ready to run some errands."
He nodded. "Of course."
I headed to the bathroom to prepare myself for the day. I needed space. Mr. Sinclair was certainly getting under my skin. Unlike with Daniel, I knew in advance he'd be gone. With that knowledge, I'd do everything I could to protect myself.
I intentionally didn't make it home until after 9 p.m. When I opened the door, the lights were dimmed.
Lachlan emerged from the guest room. "Do you need help with anything?"
God, he was so fucking perfect. "No, I just have these two bags. Thank you, though."
He hurried to my side and took them from me, pulling the groceries from each bag and placing the items where they went. "It's my last night here. I was wondering if you'd spend some time with me."
How does anyone say no to him? "Sure, do you mind if I change first? These shoes are killing me."
"Not at all, I'll just be sitting over there when you're done." He pointed to the sofa.
I nodded, then headed for my room. After slipping into the cotton knee-length dress I used for lounging around the house, I twirled my hair into a messy bun. In my bare feet, I made my way to the couch.
He handed me a glass of wine. "I presume from the collection in the wine cabinet, that this is your favorite. There is a strawberry dessert in the fridge. I had some things delivered from the market today. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all." I swirled the wine in my glass, inhaling its lovely floral undertones.
"Good." He shifted in his seat to face me. "I have a proposal." His hand shook as he spoke.
I took a sip and peeked up at him over the rim of my glasses. "I'm listening."
"You said, yesterday, you were worried watching me from a distance would change who you are to me."
"Essentially, yes."
"First… hand me your phone and unlock it, please."
My brow wrinkled. "Why?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Oh, dangerous question. What if you order something provocative on my Amazon account?"
He laughed. "Love, let me remind you that you are the woman who wrote the double penetration scene I masturbated to last night. I hardly think I'm capable of defiling your Amazon account."
I let out a strangled laugh. Wine sucked into my nose, and I choked, nearly spraying the mouthful all over the floor. I did everything I could to keep it from spilling onto the sofa. With my hand over my nose and mouth, I rushed to the kitchen sink and grabbed a paper towel, spitting wine into the bowl.
Gasping for air, between hiccupping giggles, I muttered, "I think you almost killed me." I dipped my head while trying to ignore the image of him, fisting his cock, in my guest room, with a copy of my book in his hand.
He rushed over to me, resting his hand on my back and handing me another paper towel. "It's true."
I wiped at the edges of my mouth. "Fair enough. Just…unexpected."
"Would you be bothered if I told you that since meeting you, my sex life has greatly improved?"
Was I bothered? Yes, but I had no right. "Wow, maybe I had this all wrong, maybe I'm the wizard, I mean… if being Katherine adjacent can get you laid more often, then perhaps I should start bottling my mojo."
He chuckled. "My only partner has been, well, me. It's been that way for the past several years. But even he…" he pointed at his cock, "and I had been growing a bit estranged as of late. Funny guy, he is a bit of an inspiration whore, and nothing seemed to tickle his fancy until he was seated next to an erotica author on the shortest, six-hour flight ever."
My mouth hung open in surprise, unsure what to say. All I could do was smile.
His fingers danced along my hip. "You OK? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be vulgar. I just thought you'd, well, given…"
I gazed up at him. "Don't apologize. You don't have to worry about offending me. I'm not easily offended, as you've read. I'm just more surprised than anything." I dropped my gaze to the counter. "I'm happy I'm able to help you."
"We have a habit of that, don't we? Helping each other. Now, it's my turn." He grasped my hand, led me back to the sofa, and sat with his hand out. "Your phone, please."
I unlocked the screen then handed it to him. "I hope I don't regret this."
He swiped the screen then smashed several buttons before handing it back to me.
I narrowed my eyes at him and smirked. "What did you do?"
"Well, my phone number is now among your contacts, and you've finally accepted me as a friend on Facebook, among other things. So, the way I see it, you are only a video call away from seeing me at any time. None of my admirers have that information. Unless, of course, you'd prefer to continue our incognito email exchanges. I mean, I did enjoy them." He winked.
I smiled. "Thank you."
He grabbed the remote and handed me my glass of wine. "Careful love, drink it, don't breathe it."
"Like that was my fault."
"Like it was mine. I mean, truly, my outcome, pun intended, is better than any five-star review for an erotica author. Bravo, love."
I couldn't stop laughing. "Ok, now, I'm c
onvinced you're out to kill me. Death by wine inhalation. What has gotten into you tonight?"
"It's our last night. I just want us to enjoy each other, things have been so serious. It might be a while before we get to see each other in person again."
I tried not to read too much into his statement. Things were safe. Cozy even. But once he returned to his world…
He tugged me closer to him. "Now, I told you there were two things I wanted to do tonight, right? First, I needed to leave my mark on your phone, and second I want to give you the freedom to enjoy me."
I raised an eyebrow. "What exactly does that mean?"
"You know the movie you purchased and never watched?"
"Yes."
"We're going to watch it together."
"Why?"
"Well, it could really be any of my movies, but that's the one you picked, so something piqued your interest. I've enjoyed your art. It's brought me pleasure, and it brought us closer. It let me know a little more about you. I want to do the same for you. I want us to share those parts of our lives. Besides, there is no risk of you succumbing to fandom when I'm sitting right here beside you. It's the fantasy that creates the disconnect I'm not fond of, but I'm here beside you, I'm not a celebrity. I want to be real for you, and at the same time, let you share what is a big part of my life with me."
"You... an erotic movie featuring you, and wine, what could go wrong?" I took a gulp and chuckled.
