by Tara Ahmed
“Would you like to dance with me?” she asked, holding out her hand.
Richard stared at her hand- then stood, giving her a small bow. His thick brown locks rested over his head, slicked back, as his blue t-shirt appeared bright against the small chandelier hanging off the ceiling.
“I thought you’d never ask,” he said.
I grinned, watching as they stood in the corner of the room, swaying to the music. Charlene stood on tip toes, as he twirled her around- then dipped her, giving her a charming smile. As they danced, my heart warmed, for I never thought Richard was the type to like kids. He was always so angry, so distraught, that I would have never guessed he had a soft side.
When the song ended, I found myself clapping, but when all eyes turned on me, I stopped. My cheeks stained red, as Charlene came towards me, tugging me out of my chair.
“You want to dance with me now?” I asked her.
She shook her head, rolling her pretty blue eyes.
“Not me, silly!” she said. “Him!”
I stood rigid, turning my head towards Richard, who stared blankly at me. His eyes gave away nothing, as he took slow steps towards me. His lips were pressed in a stern line, and though we stood in a room filled with people, I saw only him.
There was a kind of sadness in his eyes, as I stared into his gaze, suddenly feeling frozen. When his brow lifted, I shook, exhaling a staggered breath.
I shook my head. “No…I’m not in the mood to dance, Charlene. Maybe another time.”
“Oh, come on,” she whined. “You know you want to.”
“Just dance!” said Aunt Lucy.
I snapped my head to her, watching as she sipped a cup of tea, giving me an impatient stare. Grandpa, who sat across from her, nodded in agreement.
I sighed. “I’m a terrible dancer.”
Charlene stomped her foot, pouting.
I gave her a sad smile, and just as I was about to turn- walking away, she gave me a hard push. I yelped, landing in a heap against Richard, whose heart sped as I pressed against his chest. Charlene giggled, running towards the boom box, and switching to the classical music station.
Richard and I stared awkwardly at each other, standing a foot apart. His eyes fell to the ground, as though contemplating how to escape this uncomfortable situation.
But when light symphony of the violin began to play, his eyes lifted towards mine- his rugged hand extending towards me.
I licked my bottom lip, my fingers twitching against my side, before raising my hand, and entwining it against his.
He didn’t smile, but a faint electric shock passed through us, as our hands touched. I gasped at the pain, but he made no reaction, staring coldly at me. His hand reached my hip, while the other hand held mine in the air, as we danced in a semi waltz in the corner of the room.
“You look so serious,” I said. “It’s not a crime to smile.”
His eyes faltered, dropping to my shoulder, before meeting my gaze once more.
“I haven’t danced with a woman in a long time,” he confessed.
“You danced with Charlene,” I said. “Last I checked, she’s still a girl.”
This time, he smiled, but it was very faint, as the corners of his lips barely tilted up.
“She is a girl,” he agreed. “But you…you’re a woman.”
I gulped, feeling a hot shiver flush down my neck, as the music droned on.
“Who was the last woman you danced with?” I asked this slowly, my mind flashing back to the woman in the necklace.
“Someone special,” he replied.
“A girlfriend?”
He stopped. So did the music.
Richard’s warm hands left my skin, as he took a step back, giving me a hard stare. He breathed evenly, and as I stepped forward, prepared to apologize for my blunt question, the phone rang.
The ringing was so loud, that it pierced my ears, and as Richard turned, walking out of the room, I had half a mind to run after him.
I had hit a soft spot, and probably brought back memories he didn’t want to talk about. Why was I such an idiot? Why couldn’t I just let it go?
The ringing of the phone grew louder, as I stood there, staring at Richard’s back as he walked up the carpeted staircase.
“Oh, that was so romantic,” said Aunt Lucy.
“Where did Mr. James go?” Charlene asked.
“Dory, dear, can you get the phone?” Grandpa asked. “That damned ringing is so loud it’s about to swallow my ears!”
But I couldn’t move.
I stood there, feeling my face boil, as my heart thundered within my chest. My hands dangled by my side, as I continued staring at the empty staircase, thinking a million things a second. The woman from the heart shaped locket floated like a ghost in my mind, as images of her and Richard dancing entered my thoughts. I wondered if they were once lovers, and perhaps, she had broken his heart. Maybe he had broken hers, and now lives in an eternal regret.
“DORY WAKE UP!”
Charlene pinched my thigh, and I yelped, shaking out of my thoughts. I turned towards her, giving her a confused stare.
My head throbbed, as I pressed a hand against my temple.
“Oh,” I said blankly. “Oh…um…the phone…the phone is ringing.”
“Go get it!” Aunt Lucy snapped. “Goodness, what’s gotten into you? And Charlene, come here! You’re hair’s a tangled mess.”
Feeling my cheeks burn, I jogged towards the end of the room- picking up the black phone plastered against the wall.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Hi.”
His voice, as always, was like a poisonous honey- sweet, but ultimately, fowl. My heart skipped a beat, thumping in a deep, loud, groan, as both hands gripped the phone.
“Don’t call here,” I snapped. “I’m hanging up—“
“No, no, wait,” said James. “Please--”
“I have nothing to say to you. And…how the hell did you get this number?”
He hesitated. “April gave it to me.”
My eyes bulged. “April?—“
“Dorothy, just please hear me out.” His voice was quiet, as he spoke slowly, carefully. “What I did that day was messed up, and you have every right to leave, but—“
“But nothing!” I snapped. “I get it, James. You don’t like me, you never have. You could have just told me, instead of lying to me! I just hate that you gave me hope that maybe…I don’t know…that maybe you felt something for me. Oh, great. I sound like such an idiot saying all of this to you.”
“You’re not an idiot,” he said. “You reacted a hell of a lot better than I would have if I was in your position. I just…I need time--“
“Time for what?”
A few seconds of silence passed, as the square clock plastered against the wall opposite me, ticked by. I would have imagined that the phone cut off, had his low breathing not kept me on the line, telling me that he was still there, pondering.
“To figure things out,” he replied. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with me. This is your fucking fault, you know that?”
My teeth clenched, as I closed my hand into a fist by my thigh.
“How is it my fault?” I asked. “You’re confusing me—“
“You’re the one that’s confused the hell out of me!” he snapped. “Everything was fine before you came! My life was going exactly the way I liked it, and then…you just…you jumbled everything up. I can’t even function normally without you beside me. It’s like…I don’t know, I guess it’s like you’re my oxygen.”
I sighed. “I have no idea what you’re trying to say, James. Just speak clear—“
“I miss you, alright!”
Wait…what?
His words echoed in the hollow space of my heart- my knees suddenly feeling weak. My chest clenched, thumping erratically, as I pressed the phone closer against my ear.
“What did you say?” I whispered.
“I miss you, Dorothy. Please…come ho
me.”
I could feel the pieces of my heart begin to quietly shatter, as I realized that the sweet words I’d wanted him to say to me for the longest time, came a little too late.
My throat went dry, as I licked my lips, running a hand through the messy strands of my locks.
“I can’t,” I said. “James…when I left, I left for good. That was my goodbye.”
“Don’t say that.” His voice was so small. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do mean it,” I said. “I’m going to cut off this landline by morning, so don’t bother trying to call here anymore. Same goes for my cell—“
“Wait, wait! When are you coming back to New York? Just tell me that, and I’ll leave you alone, I swear.”
I paused, feeling the reality of his question sink in.
“I’m not ever coming back,” I said. “Bye.”
He began to speak, but I heard only a muffled objection, before hanging up.
**
I locked the door behind me, as Richard looked around my room, standing at the far end, beside my window. I pressed my back against the door, my eyes flicking towards my bed, which was much too small to fit us both.
He crossed his arms over his broad chest, leaning against my wall- giving me an expectance stare.
“Did you already forget about the plan you told me you were going to tell me about?” he asked.
I bit the edge of my lip.
“It’s not really a plan, I guess,” I said quietly. “I just need you to keep my family happy for these few days that you’re here. After you leave, I’ll have to break the news to them that I’m getting a divorce. It would be pretty awful of me to never introduce them to my husband, no matter how fake the marriage may be—“
“Fake?”
Oh, crap.
I shot away from the door, almost tripping to the ground, as Richard eyed me suspiciously. My palms went sweaty, as I ran both hands through my hair, staring wide-eyed at him. I exhaled a deep breath, my eyes beginning to sting, as I slowly walked towards him.
He stood straight, towering a head over me, watching me with a worried look in his eyes. I tilted my chin up, staring hopelessly at him, not quite knowing what to say.
“Don’t act like you didn’t know,” I said. “How long have you known?”
“For a while now,” he replied.
I laughed a quiet laugh- my heart aching.
Turning, I walked towards the bed, sitting on it, staring at my knees. I ran my hands over my thighs, feeling the red skirt crinkle over my palms.
“I knew it the day you came over to my house for dinner,” he said. “It was so obvious. The way you looked at him, wasn’t with love. I knew you’d married him for a circumstance, I just didn’t know what that circumstance was, and I don’t plan to ask.”
I lifted my lashes, staring confusedly at him.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” I asked.
He walked towards me, before taking the seat beside me, staring at my blue wall ahead.
“It wasn’t my place to say anything,” he said.
Perhaps, I was feeling a little brave that night, for when his eyes turned towards me, staring painfully into me, I didn’t look away. Instead, I scooted an inch towards him- searching his face for an answer.
“Why did you pretend to want me?” My question came like a bullet, shooting him between the brows, as his eyes widened.
He looked almost afraid.
“I didn’t pretend anything,” he said. “I did want you…No, I mean, I do. I do.”
I laughed- throwing my head back, for his answer was beginning to sound like a joke.
“You don’t even like me,” I stated. “It’s true. I can prove it—“
“No, you can’t. I’m going to sleep—“
He stood, and turned, taking a step towards the door, prepared to exit the room. But before he could leave, my hand circled over his, tugging him towards me. For a moment, I feared he would pull away from me, but instead, he stood still, as though awaiting my next move.
When I got to my feet, my hand still gripped around his, I took a few steps towards him. His eyes were pinned on my door, his jaws clenched, as I brought his hand towards my lips, kissing his knuckles.
I knew that whatever I was about to do, was a low move, but it was my only chance to find out the truth.
A cold silence passed between us, as I walked towards him, standing before him, only an inch away from his lips. His chest rose like a tide, then fell- his golden eyes pinned to the door.
He refused to look at me.
Slowly, I pressed my palm against his cheek, feeling the light stubble of his shave prickle against my skin.
“Look at me,” I whispered.
His eyes turned towards me, and in their depth, I saw only sadness. The cold stare that had met me for so many days, now stared gloomily at me. My heart ached along with him, as I placed another hand against his cheek, leaning on my tip toes, to place a kiss against his lips.
When our mouths met, I could feel his body freeze against mine, as I kept my eyes open, watching him watch me. His eyes were open as well, staring at me with a sad longing that yearned not for me, but for another.
I pulled back, my eyes dancing over his face.
“Why did you pretend to be so obsessed with me? It was all a lie, wasn’t it?” I asked. “I don’t know why you lied, but I’m guessing you had your own convoluted reason. But, we both know who you really love—“
“Great!” he said, staring coldly at me. “You’re so smart, aren’t you? Looks like you’ve gotten me all figured out—“
“Don’t be sarcastic,” I snapped. “I’m telling the truth, and you hate it. I’m being really fair to you right now. I’m not even upset about the fact that you tried to play with my emotions. You failed by the way, because I don’t feel anything for you, and you really, honestly, feel nothing for me! You aren’t even attracted to me, are you?”
His eyes rolled to the back of his head, as he shot me another angry stare, before stomping towards the door. Following his lead, I ran after him, standing before the door, blocking his exit.
“Get out of my way!” He had a venomous stare, and if looks could kill, I’d already be dead.
“No!” I said. “Answer me! Why did you act fake with me? How long were you planning on getting me to fall for you? That was your plan, wasn’t it? Or else why would you act like you’re in love with me, when clearly you’re crazy about that woman in the necklace!—“
His eyes flamed, as he shook my shoulders- his face only inches from mine. I breathed heavily- my heart racing from the chilling look in his eyes, as he dipped his head towards me.
“That woman is my mother!” he snapped. “And I wasn’t faking anything with you. I do want you, and if my actions weren’t clear enough, then I guess I’ll have to take a step further to convince you—“
“Your mother?” I questioned. “But…oh….Oh, God. I’m so sorry! I’m such an idiot! I’m so sorry, Richard, I really am—“
“Enough!” His voice boomed, as he glared dangerously at me, his eyes dipped to my mouth.
My mouth.
Oh, no…I kissed him. I kissed him just to get him to admit that he wasn’t in love with me, but the mystery woman from the photograph, who he now revealed to be his mother.
I groaned, dropping my eyes to the floor, feeling like a total fool.
As I cursed myself inwardly, I felt my feet floating off the ground, as Richard scooped me up, cradling me in his arms.
“What are you doing?” I asked slowly, narrowing my eyes at him.
He smiled. “I don’t want you questioning how I feel towards you anymore.”
I blinked. “Okay…so?”
His gaze darkened, as he strode towards my bed. My chest rose and fell, as I stared worriedly at him, confused by his riddling words.
The light from the ceiling hit the mischievous glint in his eyes, as he dropped me on the bed, jumping on top of me. His legs
dangled on either side of me- his hands placed on either side of my face, as he leaned towards my quivering lips.
“So I’m going to prove to you how much I want, crave, and need you,” he whispered. “Starting now.”
Oh, no. This was bad.
Chapter Twenty Three
The midnight gust from my open window, swirled over us, as I exhaled a deep breath- staring worriedly at him. The deep longing in his chocolate eyes, danced along the angles of my face, before stopping, for a moment, on my lips.
I gaped up at him, my head dipped against the white cotton pillow- watching as his hand slowly made its way to my mouth. His Adams apple rose, as his thumb gently brushed across my bottom lip- his eyes taking on a faraway look, as if lost in a memory.
The light from the room, streaked over his solemn face, glimmering over his eyes, which I could tell, were searching for another. He no longer saw me, for the stars in his gaze, were shining with a kind of melancholy, which could belong only to the broken hearted.
While he hovered over me, I felt his knees shake on either side of me, as though ready to collapse. Water glazed over his lids, as he placed both palms against my face, staring at me as though he’d known me all his life.
I gasped at the shock of his flesh against mine.
“Why did you do it?” His voice broke, as a tear slipped past his cheek, soaking into his throat.
I frowned, my brows wrinkled together, as I tried to comprehend his question.
“Do what?” I asked.
My chest heaved, as his eyes glowered in anger. Richard’s jaw clenched tightly, as he slammed a fist against the bed, causing me to jump.
“Richard, what’s wrong?” I spoke slowly, keeping my gaze on his.
He looked to the side, running a hand over his thick brown tresses, before glaring at me once more.
I tried to slip out of the bed, wanting to keep a safe distance, for the look in his eyes read murder. While I attempted to adjust myself up, he pressed both hands against my face, giving them a gentle squeeze.
Almost lovingly.
What the hell was going on?
