by Tara Ahmed
“Relax,” she said. “I’m not going to eat it—“
“Give that back!” he snapped. “Now!”
“April, just give it back to him,” I said. “He’s freaking out—“
BEEP!
As the phone squeaked, James lunged towards April, his arms flailing towards the device. I watched in horror, as April gave him a blank stare, before pressing a button on the phone.
Oh, no. He was prepared to tackle her to the ground for that stupid phone! What the hell was wrong with him?
Ignoring my nerves, I rushed towards April, grabbing the phone from her hands and pushing her gently to the side. I cringed, as James fell to the ground, his palms gripped over the patchy cement floor.
“Turn that off!” he snapped. “Press the damn off button!—“
But it was too late. A faintly familiar voice streamed through the phone speaker, uttering words that couldn’t possibly be true. I stared at James, who rose to his feet, running both hands over his face, as though feeling hopeless.
“Alright, listen up Bellevue, I need my money,” the voice snapped. “This is Rosanna, remember? Geez, I skipped class to do that whole affair act for you, and this is how you repay me? I need the full 1500 bucks you promised. It’s kind of an emergency, alright? Anyways, I expect the money transferred to my account by tomorrow. I’m adding interest if you’re late by even an hour. Bye.”
No. No, this wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening.
My hands shook, as I gripped the phone in both hands- my eyes glazed. The voicemail rang in my head over and over again, so much so, that my ears began to ring with the words, “This is Rosanna”.
Every bone inside my body, ached, as I walked past April and James, heading towards anywhere but there.
So, it was all a game to him after all. I’m such an idiot! Here I was, feeling like he’d returned to me- a changed man. But I was a fool for thinking he could ever be anything but cruel.
My mind was in a haze, as the tears continued to leak down my soaked eyes. James stood before me, his expression- like that of a beggar, pleading for a final piece of bread. His eyes, in the dim light of the moon, were earnest, as he rushed towards me, looking terribly apologetic.
But that too, was a lie. Everything about him was one big lie, and I was the idiot for falling for all of it.
“Dory,” he began. “Please, just hear me out—“
“Stay the fuck away from me,” I hissed. “Just stay the hell away you lying bastard!”
April stood silent, pressing a hand over James’s shoulder, giving him an almost sympathetic look. I turned towards her, my face blotchy from the streaming tears, watching as she stared blankly at me.
My mind raced, calculating her rigid body language, before coming to a conclusion. Betrayal seeped through my chest, as another tear escaped my lids- my mouth hanging open from shock.
“You knew about this?” I asked her. “You…you knew about it didn’t you?”
Her wild purple locks swayed against the cool breeze, slipping past her neck, as she gave me her best poker face- revealing nothing.
I choked out a bitter laugh, glaring from April to James, not sure who I felt more betrayed by.
“You know what?” I said, staring wildly at them. “You two should consider dating. One’s a bad husband, and the other’s a bad a friend. Sounds like the perfect match to me!”
“Dory, please hear me out,” James interjected, taking a step towards me.
I took two steps back, shooting him a stare so cold- I hoped he’d turn to stone.
“I’m done hearing anything you’ve got to say!” I yelled. “I expect you gone by tonight. You can take April with you, because I don’t need any fake friends.”
For the first time since I’d shouted at her, April’s poker face fell- her eyes beginning to water. She cried silently, not making a sound, but only whimpering- almost like a wounded animal, unable to utter its pain.
It hurt too much to see her cry, so I turned, running as far as I could out of the carnival, and out of James and April’s life.
Chapter Twenty Seven
My white sandals had chipped at the edge, as I tripped over a branch in the middle of Sandsville forest, falling to the ground. The run had dried my tears- sticky against my cheeks, as I sat on my knees, staring hopelessly at the patchy ground. The faint moonlight streaked over the tall trees, trailing towards my dejected frame.
There was a quivering in my heart, a kind of melancholy that I had never before felt. This aching was much worse than when I found James in bed with another, for at least then, he was honest. Or I thought he was. He had told me he had no feelings for me, and that itself, was a kind of honesty that I could appreciate.
I choked out a bitter laugh, pressing both hands over my knees- my mind reeling on the voicemail.
He had fooled me so well, and I had fallen for it. I had fallen for him.
Light footsteps made their way towards me- crushing the fallen may flowers on the ground, before stopping before me. I didn’t turn, as I glanced at his shadow looming over me, almost cloaking my crouched body like a blanket.
“Leave,” I said.
“No.”
No?
I stood to my feet, almost tripping- for my legs were suddenly weak, as he gripped my arm, giving me balance.
His touch burned my flesh, as I turned, yanking my arm out of his hold. My eyes began to sting, as I glowered at him- my gaze never leaving his.
The night wind blew through his soft brown tresses, brushing past the eyes I’d once fallen for. James took a small step towards me- the shallow light of the moon hitting the handsome face I imagined had broken a dozen hearts before ultimately, crushing mine.
“You lied to me.” My voice wavered, as I took a step back, my lips beginning to quiver. “You hate me so much that you had to fake sleeping with a girl, just so I could leave?—“
“I didn’t hate you,” he said, running a hand through his messy locks. “I hated me—“
“Oh, I’m sure,” I scoffed.
His hands gripped my shoulder, and I gasped at the sudden touch, as he pulled me so close against him, our heart beats thundered as one.
“Let me go,” I snapped. “Get off—“
His eyes glowered, as he shook me- a desperate glint hitting the apples of his orbs.
“Listen to me!” he snapped. “Just fucking listen to me, damnit! I never hated you, not even close. All I hated was that I was a piece of trash, not good enough for you—“
“That’s a lie.” My voice shook, as I squirmed against his rigid hold.
“It’s not,” he pressed. “Just hear me out! I can’t remember when I fell for you, because it just happened! It was these little tidbits about you that I began to love. The way your hair gets in your mouth when you’re reading a book, or how you walk around in those ridiculous pajamas, and still manage to look sexy. I love the way you giggle right after you laugh- I could hear that all fucking day and not get tired! Yes, I lied to you! I lied when I said you didn’t matter to me. You’re my peace, my serenity, and without you, I’m at a constant war with life, the world, and myself. I hired that actress, because I needed to push you as far away from me as possible, because all I’ll ever do is hurt you. Don’t you get that? I’m a mess, a big, huge, mess. But one thing I realized after you left- is that without you, it felt a little hard to breathe. I don’t want nothing else in life, all I want, is you.”
My words had drowned in the back of my throat, as I stared into his solemn brown eyes, trying to find meaning in his speech.
His arms gripped my shoulders, pushing me further against his chest- his lavender scent, swirling around me like a poisonous smoke.
“Prove it,” I whispered.
James’s gaze faltered- his brows furrowed in confusion.
“How?” he asked.
I tilted my chin, my mouth set in a stern line.
“Figure it out.”
He looked past me, as tho
ugh calculating what I meant, before shooting me a light smile. His hands left my shoulder, and without another word, he turned, taking long strides out of the dark forest.
I blinked at his back, not sure whether he had just rejected what I said, or if he was planning to actually “prove it”.
So, I followed.
**
Upon entering the carnival, my eyes looked past the crowd of people rushing towards a tall, circular cage about twenty feet ahead. They talked excitedly, some people pushing past me, excusing themselves politely, as I gaped at their backs, not quite registering what was happening.
I had lost James a few minutes ago, when he rushed through the crowd, leaving me stranded in the midst of the area.
What was he up to?
“I’m so sorry!” April’s voice chirped from behind, as she threw her arms over my back, squeezing tightly. “I swear, he made me not tell you! He said it was part of his plan to get you back, and that he’d tell you eventually! I just wanted you two to be happy, because he really does love you, and—“
I sighed, wrapping my hands over hers- detangling them from my throat. Slowly, I turned, staring blankly at her.
“It’s not OK, April,” I said. “I wouldn’t ever hide anything from you—“
“I know, I know!” she said. “But, I literally had no choice! You have to believe me, you just have to—“
“I believe you. I’m just…surprised. I need time to be okay again. You understand, don’t you? And…I didn’t mean what I said. You aren’t a fake friend. You’ve been good to me.”
She smiled from cheek to cheek, her ocean blue eyes lighting up in such a way, the stars would fade next to the glint of her irises.
“You’re not mad at me anymore?” she asked.
I hesitated. “I kind of still am. But not as much as before.”
The sounds of shuffling feet neared, as I turned my head to the side, staring curiously at Aunt Molly. There was a steely look in her eyes, as she rushed towards me- her ruby red locks flying over her back like a cape.
“Are you alright?” I asked her. “What’s wrong?—“
“Has James lost his damn mind?” she snapped. “I was in the committee stage, handling over some important things, when from the corner of my eye, I see your foolish husband signing up for that game! Oh, what was it called? The sinner? No, no, it’s called the spinner! He’s preparing to get on that motorbike and break who knows how many bones—“
“Please tell me you’re joking.” My voice was rushed- my heart speeding a mile a minute.
“I’ve never told a joke in my life!” Aunt Molly snapped. “Now, go and get him off that thing—“
“Whoa,” said April. “James has got some serious guts--“
“He’s an idiot!” I shouted.
Heads turned towards me, eyeing me speculatively. Ignoring their stares, I ran around the crowd, the cool wind brushing past my pony tail, as I searched desperately for James. My eyes circled the area, before spotting the large, circular cage resting at the end of the carnival.
I eyed the hundred foot metal cage- a black Harley Davidson resting ominously at the center. The dome sat atop a wide stage, where Stacy and James stood side by side, smiling gallantly at the crowd of onlookers.
Why was he doing this? Was he trying to give me a heart attack?
I stood at the side of the crowd, pushing myself through- ignoring the vehement stares I was getting.
“Hey watch it!” a man snapped.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “It’s an emergency!”
As I apologized my way through the crowd, James’s honey brown eyes met mine, smiling earnestly at me.
“Let’s give a big round of applause to James Bellevue! The first, and sadly- only person to sign up for The Spinner!” Stacy’s perky voice rang through the small, black, microphone- her blond locks swaying gently over her shoulder.
I gaped wide eyed at James, his words from moments earlier, revolving through my mind like a broken record.
So, he was planning to prove his love by risking his life?
That fool!
My hands clenched against the sides of my jeans, as my heart pounded so loudly, I feared everyone could hear it.
“So, how does it feel to take on such a challenge?” Stacy’s glittery eyes pinned on James.
“It feels right.” His gaze met mine for a moment, before looking away, staring out at the excited crowd.
I swallowed a quick breath, as Stacy smiled brightly at James, nodding at him to enter the metal dome. Blood rushed hot through my veins, as I watched him make steady strides towards the open door, before hesitating.
He turned his head- his eyes staring painfully into mine, before tilting his lips upwards to a sad, lonesome smile.
It was like he was saying goodbye.
Do, something, Dory! Stop him!
“Have a fun ride!” Stacy walked towards the open door, her French manicured hand- gripped tightly over the handle.
James didn’t reply, but stared at the jet black motorcycle resting at the center of the cave, as though calling for him. Fear clouded over his eyes, as he lifted a foot towards the cage, prepared to enter.
Without another thought, I pushed past the crowd, running towards the three flights of stairs.
“Wait!” I said. “Don’t—“
But it was too late.
Stacy pressed a hand against the back of his cotton t-shirt, pushing him into the cave. She giggled into the mike- her chirpy voice resounding through the air like an annoying echo, as James turned, glaring at her.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked her. “You just shoved him in there!—“
“Dory, relax,” said James. “I’m fine—“
“Oh, it was just an accident,” said Stacy, taking backwards steps towards a wooden table.
“Alright, well open that door!” I demanded. “James, you don’t have to do this! You don’t—“
“I do,” he replied.
I watched in horror, as James approached the motorbike, his eyes focused. Running towards the door, I tried my best to pull it open, grunting and panting like a tired hyena in the process.
“Stacy!” I shouted. “Give me the freaking keys—“
“Sorry, no can do,” she sang.
I turned, rushing towards her- my gaze locked on the key wrapped over neck on a black string. Her sparkling blue eyes- narrowed, as she leaned back against the wood, her elbow slipping into a button plastered against the table. My eyes widened in horror.
Oh, my, God.
The motorcycle within the cage spun around and around on its own, as James quickly ran to the center, and then to the side, trying his best to avoid getting hit. He ducked, as the bike jumped over him- the handle, scraping his arm.
“What the hell!” he screamed.
“Ooops,” Stacy whispered.
There were screams, like that from a horror movie, as people shouted for help.
“Oh, dear lord, that bike is running on its own!”
“Get him out of there!”
“He’s going to get crushed!”
“Call the police!”
My eyes glazed with water- my hands, legs, and heart, shaking so hard I feared every bone in my body would crumble from shock.
“Oh, no!” said Stacy. “What’s happening? This was a total accident, I swear. Aw, poor guy. Somebody save him!”
Her voice dripped with false concern, as she flashed me a pout, displaying her best “I’m so scared” act.
What an evil bitch.
Without another thought, I swung my fist towards her face, knocking her to the ground, before rushing towards the table. Her tall, curvaceous body fell with a thud, as I pressed a dime shaped red button atop a small rectangular machine.
“Look! The motorcycle stopped moving!” Charlene shouted.
“Goodness, he’s collapsed!” said Aunt Molly. “Dory, dear, open the damn cage—“
I dropped to the ground, crouched beside
the sleeping Stacy- taking out the key around her neck. I stood, my chest heaving sporadically, before running towards the door, shoving the key into the hole.
It took a few tries, as I nervously jumbled the key within the hole, but the door did finally opened.
I screamed, my ears ringing, as I ran towards James. Crouching down, I shook his shoulders, trying to wake him- tears slipping silently past my lids.
“Wake up!” My voice broke, as I pressed a palm against his cheek. “Why the hell did you get in this stupid cage! You’re such an idiot!”
The crowd shouted words I couldn’t comprehend, for my mind was focused only on the unconscious James.
“The paramedics are coming!” Uncle Jeffrey said.
“He’s going to be alright,” said Aunt Lucy. “Don’t you worry!”
“Is he dead?” Charlene broke into a fit of sobs, her head tucked into her mother’s chest, as I glanced briefly at her. “Please don’t die!”
She was saying all the words that rang through my mind, before ultimately, drowning away. My thoughts became numb, as I placed James’s head on my lap, stroking his hair as though he were asleep.
This was my fault.
**
The Sandsville hospital was relatively empty today, with only a few people gathered around the waiting area.
I sat with my head bowed, my eyes dry- as I exhaled another deep breath. The nurses shuffled through the smooth, white floor, urgently rushing towards the latest patient. They spoke in technical words, explaining the critical condition of the young woman, who had apparently been punched so hard, she needed stitches on the side of her lip.
Stacy.
Her name sent a chill down my spine, as I lifted my head, glaring at her body resting on a moving bed, being dragged to the emergency room. I glanced at the blue bruise at the corner of her mouth, frowning, for I wished I had hit her harder.
I had never hated anyone before, but I supposed there was a first time for everything.
“Mrs. Bellevue?” A light, airy voice caught my ears, as I glanced up at the statuesque nurse.
