She blinked back tears and peeked at the clock. Five in the morning. Nix was broken. They were on borrowed time and her son suspected the worst.
Madison eased out of the embrace. “Do you trust I want to come back to you, angel?”
He nodded, his lashes wet and eyes red from tears.
Emotion choked her, but she would not cry in front of her son. Her baby shouldn’t have to be so grown up at ten. Too much shit rested on his shoulders. And she laid all that blame at Micah’s feet.
“You gotta save Nix. It’s your destiny.” Amos wiped his nose with the back of his hand. Any other time, she’d have called him on it, but let the action slide this time. “And Nix is important to our—he’s…just important.”
Madison sent him a crooked smile. “Georgie would be proud of you keeping secrets and learning her riddle trick.”
“I can’t tell too much without affecting free will.”
She couldn’t help thinking free will hadn’t been hers in a long, long time. If ever. “Yeah, I know.” She brushed his bangs out of his eyes. “Zen, get your Souls Scroll or whatever the damned thingy is called. I’ll let Alessa know she’s selling her soul today.”
Chapter Sixteen
“You know those weapons won’t go into Hell with you,” Zen said as he sat in a chair in her bedroom watching her clean an assortment of guns.
“I know. Keeping busy relaxes me.”
He made a face as if implying she wasted her time with mundane projects. “You’re second-guessing yourself?”
“No. Not for me anyway.” Madison smeared oil on the weapon in her hand. “I’m second-guessing accepting Alessa’s soul and damning her with me.”
“There’s always a chance you’ll make it out.”
“Spare me the bullshit, Zen.” His head snapped around at her comment. “At least be honest with me. I think my chances of coming out of Hell are zilch. What’s your opinion?”
As always, his features remained impassive, but he rose from his chair with feline grace. Power stalked him in a pastel rainbow aura. Beautiful and it reeked of power. He halted at the bed where she worked on her arsenal and fingered one of the weapons she’d already lubricated.
“Zen?”
“I think your chances are maybe a little better than zilch.” His silver eyes drilled hers. “If anyone can make it out, you will.”
“And the innocent life going in with me?”
“She’s not innocent.” He smirked as if amused. “Amos said she would come out.”
“Prophecies can change on a dime.”
He plucked the gun out of her hand, tossed it on the bed and drew her to her feet by her hands. “You’re afraid of Alessandra dying?”
“Of course. I don’t want that on my conscience. If I survive.”
“Every general of any war must endure acceptable losses.”
Madison rolled her eyes. “I’m not a general.” But I am at war. “And Alessa’s not an acceptable loss.”
“In this mission you are like her general. You’re leading her, calling the shots. You’ll own her and she won’t have a choice but to follow your commands or”—he smirked at whatever analogy rambled through his head— “she’ll be court marshaled by your law.”
She shook her head. “You’re as bad as Nix with the euphemisms.”
“Ouch.” He winced.
“It was a compliment.”
“Didn’t sound like one. Just in case you failed to notice, I don’t really like your Phoenix and for the record, I think cracking—”
“Busting,” she corrected.
“—him out of Hell is wrong. We should be setting a trap for him like he did you, but we don’t have the time to plan one.”
“I’d bust you out of Hell, too, Zen.” She patted his cheek. “So no need to channel the green-eyed monster.”
“I can’t enter Hell, so I wouldn’t need crac—busting out. Who is this green-eyed monster?”
Madison laughed. Zen returned her humor with a frown.
“I missed your sarcasm, didn’t I?” he asked.
“Yes. But that’s okay. I love you for your uniqueness.”
He quirked his head to the side. By his expression, she could tell he tried to process a human trait. Most humans confused him. “You love me?”
“Of course.” She shrugged. “I’m human, half anyway and I have emotions. I get attached and you’ve been in my life for almost five years.”
Zen’s expression remained blank and as much time as he spent in her thoughts, she still couldn’t perceive his without him wanting her to glean them. He left her waiting a moment longer.
“If I ever had to identify you, Madison, I would call you friend.”
Did her jaw hit the floor? Not much more could’ve stunned her.
Reacting on instinct, Madison hugged him and he surprised her by embracing her back. His squeeze cut off her breath. He might be exposing a hint of real emotion.
Madison drew back and met his gaze. Zen said goodbye. “I’d only give a friend or brother the key to kill me.”
After consuming her bucket of ice cream, she’d returned to her room with Zen. He’d watched as she chanted a spell and captured what remained of her soul in the palm of her hand. She’d handed it over to Zen and crawled into bed, silent and moody, only to wake a few hours later to a nightmare of Petra’s memories. He possessed the only means to kill her without being in her direct presence and she’d given it willingly.
Twice she’d handed him her life. The first time, she’d been certain he’d kill her, but instead woke up in a hotel room with the knowledge Nix had gone to Hell sooner than planned because of her interference.
“I have your half-soul in a safe place.” They had no idea where the other half of her soul was located. Maybe in Hell or maybe she’d only been born with half a soul since she was part demon. At this point, they were guessing. Zen convinced her that destroying what remained would kill her. Not that she wanted to die, but it was the only failsafe plan she had for going into Hell with Pandora’s power at her command.
“I don’t wish to lose my only friend. It took too long to find you.”
“We found you, remember.” Madison corrected with a teasing smile. “You’ll keep my baby safe?”
“Yes. I also promise not to destroy your soul until I’m left with no other option.”
“Just don’t wait too long.”
“We have guests.” Amos yelled as he went past her door at a dead run.
“Who?”
But Amos had already scrambled off. A brief glance at Zen and she yanked up a newly cleaned gun, shoved a magazine into its base, and chambered a round. As she walked out the door, she flicked the safety off, Zen clipping at her heels.
***
Madison leaned against the doorjamb leading into the living room and watched as Amos greeted the Birminghams with exuberance. What brought them to her home? Now, when they were about to plunge into Hell?
“Howdy, sunshine.” Petra mocked Gage with a waggle of her fingertips. She didn’t understand why her step-daughter insisted on calling him that ridiculous nickname. Her best guess, it irritated Gage. And at the sight of her, he looked as if he’d swallowed something sour.
“Madison, have you forgotten your manners?” Georgie asked.
“No.” She shook her head and watched them, uneasy with their abrupt arrival. “Just wondering what you’re doing here.”
“You plan on shooting us?” Gage nodded at the gun in her hand.
“Not unless you’re here to try and stop me from saving Nix.”
“Awesome!” Zoe shot Gage a cheeky glare. “I’m safe.”
“Care to give an old man a hug?” Nix’s uncle, James, held his palms up.
“Not until I know where we stand.”
“I don’t agree with what you’re doing,” James admitted. “But it’s not like I could stop you if I wanted, not with your pit bull guarding your back.”
Glancing over her shoulder, she spied Zen.
“I guard all of her, not just her back.” Zen stepped beside her and she didn’t think he realized how personal his comment sounded.
“I came to talk you out of this, Madison.” Gage oofed when Zoe elbowed him in the ribs.
“I want to go with you.” Gage blasted Zoe a look that expressed long-hashed arguments between them.
“Talking’s over, Gage. I’m going. And, Zoe, you’re definitely not coming.” She faced Georgie. “You got anything to say?”
“When you get out of Hell, you’ll meet the woman born to handle Nix Birmingham.” Georgie smiled. “I think you’ll approve of her, maybe even like her, since she’s already a member of your group.”
Beside her, Zen snorted.
Madison blinked slowly, and attempted to figure out what the prophet implied. “Are you talking about Nix’s girl? The one you spoke of after we first met?” Georgie nodded and Madison spared a glance at the only single woman in the room…Alessa. “Is that your prophet way of saying you see me coming out of Hell alive?”
“I’m counting on it,” she said. “Or you’re not the woman I thought you were and the parameters of my vision will drastically change.”
“What vision?”
“You know I can’t tell you that.”
Madison shook her head and blew out a frustrated breath.
“We’re here because Nix will need our help when he comes out.” Georgie explained their abrupt arrival.
So her mission would be successful. Amos insisted it would be, but hearing it from another prophet soothed her worry a fraction. “Why?”
“Can’t say.”
“Of course you can’t.”
“How about that hug?” James said.
Madison scanned James’s features, and tried to determine his honesty or if he attempted to deceive her in some way. Deciding under any other circumstances, she’d be happy to see the four of them, she strolled toward him.
James enveloped her in a bear hug. “If you don’t come out with him, I’ll never forgive you.”
Startled, she pulled back to focus on his face. “I’ll do my best.” She clicked the safety of the gun on.
“Let me go with you and if someone has to be sacrificed, it’ll be me.”
“No, James. None of you”—she swept the four of them with a resolute glower—“are coming with me. Nix made the deal to save y’all. I won’t risk your lives to save his.”
Zoe squeezed her arm. “He made that deal to save you, too, honey.”
Madison shrugged. “Hell’s my domain.”
“I could offer the demon over there a deal and get into Hell without your permission.” Gage cocked his thumb toward Petra, his countenance snarly with mutiny.
“You’re welcome to try.” Madison understood his frustration, but nothing would convince her to allow Gage to join her hellish mission and she knew Petra would rebuff his request.
“The offer is refused, denied, and rejected, sunshine.” Petra swirled the stem of her lollipop, pulled it out, and added, “I’m a fool for betraying my daddy, but betraying Madison….” She shuddered. “Uh uh, my death wish isn’t that big. Daddy would forgive me, but I have no doubt Madison would never, ever forget or forgive my betrayal.”
That road closed to him, Gage tried a different tactic. “Nix wouldn’t want you in Hell saving him either.”
“Nix didn’t ask me if I liked the idea of him making a covenant with my husband either, so I really don’t give a dang what he wants.” From the corner of her eye she caught Alessa exiting the room. Zen hadn’t left his position in the doorway. Amos sat Indian-style on the rug, petting Alessa’s dog, Lasso. “I’m from Hell. I belong in Hell. None of you do. Save the intervention for someone who’s interested, Gage.”
“I like the new you.” Madison’s gaze shifted to Zoe. “You’re stronger, tougher, and edgier. Nix is going to love it.” Madison opened her mouth to respond, but Zoe tugged on her arm. “We need to chat. Alone.”
***
They walked in silence. Madison led Zoe to the pond out at the back of the house. Curious what Zoe could possibly want to chat about, in private, no less, she waited for the other woman to speak. Zoe said she seemed tougher, which was just crazy when she felt unsure about every decision she made. And edgier? Ha! Being terrified lent her a scared-as-shit edge all right.
Madison watched the brunette select a couple of rocks before skipping them across the pond.
“I think you should know I’m not good with girl talk, Zoe.”
Her father’s psychotic religious tendencies made it hard to have friends. He wouldn’t have allowed a non-Christian to enter his home and befriend his daughter. That might have involved corrupting her soul worse than he believed it already had been.
Zoe glanced at her before tossing another rock. “I’m not the typical girl.”
She watched the stone bounce three times before plunking beneath the surface of the water. “Yeah, I guess none of us are all that typical, huh?”
“You really won’t let me go with you, Madison?”
“No.”
Zoe rattled the rocks together and studied her a long moment. “Georgie won’t tell you this, but I think you need to know—”
“Wait.” Madison threw up her hand and realizing she still held the gun, she shoved her hand under her shirt and tucked it between the waistband of her pants and her spine. “Is this going to affect free will? Amos goes on and on about free will, and I’m really not in the mood to muck it up.”
“No, it won’t affect free will.” Zoe smiled. “There’s that edge again.”
“I’m no different than the woman I was a month ago when you saw me last.” The only difference from then to now was that in less than twenty-four hours, she would lead a suicide mission into Hell. “I just don’t have time for the bullshit, Zoe. And I’m sick and tired of sitting back and getting screwed while demons and fallen angels run the show.”
“That attitude’s not different how?” Zoe elevated her brows and skipped another rock. “Yeah, you didn’t run from the demonic baddies before, but you didn’t take the reins and go after the motherfuckers either.”
“So?”
“You’re staging an infiltration behind enemy lines and you’re going to attempt to hit them where it hurts. You can’t see how that is different than before?”
Madison concentrated on the pond. The ducks quacked, disturbed by Zoe’s rock-bombs, and created a chain of feathers on the surface as they hightailed it to safety. “I’ve always known it would come down to a final fight between Micah and me. I didn’t think it would play out this way and I’d feel a lot more confident if it were on my territory instead of his. But no, I don’t see what I’m doing as anything different than before.”
“I think we all somehow knew you’d have to make a stand against Micah. But this goes beyond Micah, doesn’t it?”
“He used my friends against me, Zoe. I can’t allow that without retaliation.” She took a deep breath and prepared to share what she hadn’t told any of the Birminghams. “Micah used that deal to drag me out of hiding.”
Zoe whistled through her teeth. “I didn’t know. Your husband, he’s scary, by the way.”
“Yes, he is.” Even more so after she’d responded to his kiss in the Sherlock bar and her demon skating below the surface didn’t help. “That’s not all that scares me. I’m terrified I won’t save Nix, and afraid Alessa will die in the mission.” And almost certain Micah will claim victory over me. She just didn’t have the courage to utter the last sentence for fear of jinxing herself.
“You have anyone you confess secrets to?”
What an odd question. She studied Zoe’s aura. A spiked jazziness danced along the edges of it. Was she excited about something? “Is there something you want me to confess?”
“Not unless you want to confess it.”
“I think I mentioned I’m not good at girl talk, so thanks, but I’m good.”
Zoe shrugged. “Your sins are yo
ur own.”
Madison laughed and realized the other woman had begun to perspire in the heat. “It’s hot out here.” Not really, but to the average mortal it would be uncomfortable. “You want to go back in?”
“In a minute.” She threw the rocks. They scattered midair and hit the water in unison. The remainder of the ducks squawked in protest. “Georgie sees two different outcomes. Either way, Nix comes through first, distraught and furious. She says he’ll need us all to calm him down.”
Madison expected Nix to come out first because she wouldn’t leave until he was safe. Distraught and furious, though? Maybe that had something to do with him being broken and not wanting to return.
“One version of the future, you return as well. The other version….” Zoe shuddered and hugged herself as if the temperature had suddenly dropped forty degrees.
“Hell on earth?” Madison watched her reaction closely.
Zoe nodded.
“If the second scenario happens, Zen will kill me.”
“I can’t imagine the bravery it takes to do what you’re about to do.”
“I’m not brave. I’m scared shitless and I don’t have a choice.”
Zoe chuckled. “Fighting in the face of scared shitless is brave, Madison.”
“Or just plain ole’ fate.”
“That, too.”
“I don’t want to tell James or Georgie this, but we had a run-in with Nix and Micah the other night.” Madison held up her hand when Zoe would’ve spoken. “Let me finish. You were right. He brought you and Gage back to life. According to Zen, he is Jesus’ offspring. The Ark of Heaven, and he’s too important not to save.”
Chapter Seventeen
Sleep deprived and running on autopilot, Madison contemplated the jigsaw. Putting puzzles together had become her routine every night for the past two months. It was an improvement over the pacing and the late-night television marathons she’d endured for the first two months after Nix’s descent into Hell. Puzzles were easy and she didn’t need to think to fit them back together, so it left her with lots of time to contemplate.
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