“Thanks,” she said, handing a gleeful kicking baby to her father.
Sienna instantly splashed the water, making Van laugh. The sound was rich and deep and Kayla felt her lips pull into an answering smile. She watched the two of them as Van held Sienna carefully and began floating backward, kicking his legs like a lazy frog. They looked so perfect together, father and child. He’d missed so much of Sienna’s development to date but he seemed resolved toward making the most of his time with her now. And there she went again with the waterworks springing to her eyes.
It had been her decision not to tell Van that she was having his children, even though she’d known her sister wouldn’t have approved. His initial response to her a couple of months ago had made her glad she hadn’t contacted him sooner, but seeing him with Sienna now was making her a little regretful on his behalf. Of course, back then, she hadn’t known how he felt about having kids, but now that he had them...? Well, he certainly seemed to be adapting quickly.
If only she didn’t still get this buzz of attraction simmering under her skin whenever she was around him. It made life difficult, to say the least. Did he feel the same thing, she wondered, that hint of physical memory of the passion they’d lost themselves in? Probably not. After all, if he had, he wouldn’t have left without any further contact, would he? She had to remind herself of that. Had to hold on to the disappointment and anger she’d felt when she’d woken up alone after falling asleep in his arms. And hope like heck that he’d changed and that he wouldn’t be a deserter when it came to his kids.
Kayla lowered herself into the pool, enjoying the texture of the water against her skin as she swam. The T-shirt she’d put on felt a little restrictive, though, as she did slow laps. She’d have to see if she could find a one-piece swimsuit. One that would see her through at least part of her pregnancy, with any luck. After a couple of minutes, she rolled onto her back and allowed herself to float.
“Enjoying it?” Van asked from nearby.
“Very much.”
“Make use of the pool as much as you like. Day or night.”
“Thank you.”
She put her feet to the pool floor and looked at Sienna, who was happily still splashing and being floated around by Van. His hands were big and capable as they tucked under Sienna’s armpits and his fingers closed around her little back. She looked safe with him, and incredibly happy. At the edge of the pool, Belle waited—her long legs dangling in the water and a thick fluffy white towel in her hands.
“Do you think she’s had enough, Kayla?” Belle asked. “I’m taking Alex inside for a prelunch snack and I can take Sienna in, too, if you like.”
“He’s hungry again?” Van laughed. “That kid, he never stops eating.”
“I’m a growing boy,” Alex interjected from the deck chair where he’d been playing a game on his phone under the shade of the house’s overhang.
Van turned to Kayla. “Kayla? You happy for Sienna to go with Belle?”
“I can take her,” she protested.
“No, it’s okay,” Belle said. “You stay and enjoy your swim. We’ll just be upstairs in the kitchen when you’re finished.”
If she refused now, she’d only appear churlish, Kayla forced herself to admit. “Okay, thanks. I won’t be much longer.”
“Take all the time you want,” Belle answered with a smile and got to her feet so she could wrap Sienna in the towel.
Van made motorboat noises as he pushed the baby through the water, making her squeal with delight, and again, Kayla felt herself smiling in response. This really was good for her little girl. There was only so much the teachers at day care could do and this interaction with other people was opening up her tiny world beyond what she’d known to date. Kayla felt a sudden shame that she hadn’t stopped to consider that aspect of what Van had to offer Sienna before today. She’d done her very best to make sure that Sienna had everything she needed, always. But she had the sense now that maybe it hadn’t been enough.
Not liking the direction of her thoughts, Kayla returned to swimming laps. She kept her pace slow and steady, not wanting to wear herself out too much. Tiredness always exacerbated her nausea. She’d been at it for about ten more minutes before she felt a firm touch on her shoulder midstroke.
“You always were like a fish in water,” Van said from right beside her. “But I think it’s time you stopped for today.”
She couldn’t help it. Her temper flared. “Van, can we come to some kind of agreement that you will stop telling me what to do all the time? I’m an adult. I’m capable of looking after myself quite adequately.”
“That’s true,” he answered, giving her a level look. “But in this case, with my baby inside you, adequate is not good enough.”
She stared at him, seeing the unyielding determination in his gaze. His eyes seemed an even deeper green than usual as he stared back at her—his lashes black spikes from the pool and his dark hair matted close to his skull. He’d always been the only person who could match her in the water when they were kids and she realized that even back then, while he’d kept an emotional distance from her—trusting only her sister with his most personal secrets—he’d never physically been far away.
The thing was, when he’d been close before, she’d never felt the urge to place her hand on his bare chest the way she did now. Never wanted to trace the definition of his pectoral muscles or to run her fingers over the clearly defined six-pack of his abdomen. Or even to run the tip of her tongue along the cords of his neck and the line of his jaw.
She tried to focus on what he’d said. To draw her irritation to the surface, to use it to quench the slow-burning desire that had lit inside her, but it was useless. It seemed that, once lit, this fire couldn’t be extinguished.
“Ms. Porter? It’s time for your snack,” Imelda called from the patio. The tension between them broke. Van took a step back and mustered up a false-looking half smile.
“See? Even Imelda thinks it’s time you got out of the pool.”
“Imelda is only doing what you tell her to do,” Kayla muttered, annoyed with herself as much as she was with him.
But she didn’t argue. Instead she swam to the edge of the pool and lifted herself out. Her T-shirt sucked onto her body like a second skin. Wet and now see-through as a result, it afforded her no protection from Van’s gaze. She stood and grabbed the hem of the garment, twisting and wringing it to try to get rid of the excess moisture and to pull it away from her body. Van watched her the whole time, his eyes traveling over the prominent swell of her breasts and lower to the tiny bump of her belly.
Color appeared along his cheekbones, and his jaw firmed as though he clenched his teeth. Feeling uncomfortable under his stare, Kayla turned her back and walked to where Imelda had set a small tray on a table under a sun umbrella. Even so, she felt him continue to watch her.
Imelda picked up a robe off the back of the chair. “Here—you should take that shirt off and wrap yourself up in this before you get cold. It’s not quite summer yet,” she chided gently.
“Oh, that’s not mine—” Kayla corrected.
“No, it’s mine,” Van said from behind her.
Kayla jumped. She hadn’t heard him approach. He stood behind her, swiping his body with a large towel, which he then casually wrapped around his hips.
“But please, put it on,” he continued.
Feeling awkward and already cold from the breeze that came in off the sea, Kayla peeled the shirt off and dropped it on the patio with a wet slap. Van had taken the robe from Imelda and held it out for her. The second the thick toweling wrapped around her, she felt warmer, but no less uncomfortable as a faint trace of Van’s scent enveloped her.
“What about you? W-won’t you get c-cold?” she stammered.
“I’m okay for now. Will it bother you if I have coffee with you h
ere? I promise to stay downwind.”
“Bother me? No, I don’t think so.” The aroma of coffee might not bother her right at this moment, but he most certainly did. “But shouldn’t you be with Alex?”
“He’ll be okay for now, won’t he, Imelda?”
“He’s gone with Jacob for now, Mr. Murphy. They’re stacking the flat rocks together for the water feature in the front garden. He’s a very tactile child, isn’t he?”
Van smiled, the brief flash of good humor sending a jolt of awareness through Kayla as if it was a lover’s touch.
“That’s one way of saying he wants to keep his fingers in as many pies as possible. Let Jacob know he’s to send Alex to me if he’s any bother.”
Imelda smiled indulgently. “Oh, he’s no bother. Jacob enjoys his company.” She turned to Kayla. “Belle is putting Sienna down for a nap. She seemed a bit tired after her time in the pool. Belle said to tell you.”
Kayla nodded. “That’s good. She normally sleeps for an hour or so before lunch anyway.”
Van raised a brow at her.
“What?” she demanded as Imelda returned upstairs.
“No dispute or argument at Belle’s high-handedness?”
She took his teasing lightly. “No. She’s merely following routine.”
“And you have an hour or so to rest,” he pointed out. “Is the food to your liking?”
Kayla looked at the plate of neatly cut raw vegetables and chose a slice of carrot to nibble on. “Tastes fine. Thank you, but I don’t need to rest.”
A frown of concern pulled between his brows.
“Don’t bully me, Van,” she interrupted before he could speak.
* * *
Van looked at her in surprise. “Bully you? Is that how you see it?”
“Tell me how else I should see it,” she said. “You keep telling me what to do.”
Her tone implied she was struggling to keep a grip on her temper. He’d never known her to be this fiery. She’d always had a sunny, easygoing nature. But then, he guessed a lot had changed since he’d known her truly well. And he’d never known her pregnant.
He looked at her. Dressed in his robe, she looked tiny, swamped, even. But when she’d gotten out of the pool just now, he hadn’t missed the fullness of her breasts or the intriguing shape of her lower belly. If he hadn’t already known how taut her body normally was, he probably wouldn’t have thought much of it, but he couldn’t help feeling that twinge of pride and possession when he’d considered that his child was nestled there.
It was strange and terrifying at the same time. He couldn’t help wondering—had he unwittingly passed on the genetic predisposition of his family to his children? He wasn’t certain he’d avoided it himself. He’d cut alcohol completely from his life—but was that enough? Even if he never took a drink again, the craving for it was still written in his DNA. It could still be inherited by his children.
He looked at Kayla’s face and realized she was still waiting for his response. He scrambled to remember exactly what it was she’d said. Something about bullying.
“Perhaps, Kayla, it’s more about caring. Have you ever considered that?”
He reached for the thermos coffee carafe Imelda had left on the table for him and poured the dark brew into his mug.
“Don’t lie to me, Van. We both know you don’t care about me. And I’m fine with that. Let’s just agree to be honest with each other.”
She shifted in her chair and the front of his robe opened, exposing the curves of her breasts and the shadowy valley between. Hell, he’d seen more of her when she was dressed in that clinging wet shirt than he did now and yet somehow this glimpse of her in his robe sent a punch of lust through his body that made his hand shake as he set the carafe back on the table.
“I’m all for being honest,” he said, staring straight into her blue eyes. “Tell me, why does staying here chafe you so much?”
“I’m not used to being so—” she paused, her brow furrowing as she searched for the right word “—coddled.”
“What, like an egg?” he teased, making himself keep his tone light.
“For want of a better analogy, yes. Except I’m the one coddling an egg, aren’t I?”
He laughed. “Kind of. You know you can come and go as you please. Like I said yesterday, you’re not a prisoner here.”
“And Sienna? I can take her with me as I come and go as I please?”
He hesitated and it was enough to ignite the fuse on her anger.
“See? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I’m her mother, for goodness’ sake! I carried her, I birthed her, I’ve been her primary carer from the day she arrived in this world. Me. Not some overpaid nanny. Not some man who suddenly wants to control every aspect about the children he stopped caring about before they were even born!”
“I care,” he said softly, lethally. “Don’t ever underestimate that, Kayla.”
“No, controlling everything around you is not caring. It’s smothering. Really, Van, you need a reality check.”
“And I guess you think you’re the person to give it to me?” he snapped back.
“I wouldn’t even bother,” she sniffed.
The gentle breeze swirled around them and he noticed that Kayla had suddenly blanched.
“Are you okay?” he asked, setting his mug down on the table.
“Oh, please. Enough with the concern. I just got a whiff of your coffee. Neither it nor your company agrees with me. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going inside.”
She pushed her seat back sharply and rose from the table. The neckline of the robe gaped again, and damned if he didn’t get that powerful burst of arousal once more. Despite the fighting, despite their obvious frustration with one another, his body and his brain were completely out of sync. He rose, too, putting a hand out to stop her. She stared at his fingers curled over the white toweling that encased her arm, then up at his face.
“If you don’t want me to throw up on your feet, I’d advise you to let me go,” she said in a voice that hinted that she was barely holding on to her control.
He let his hand drop and watched as she made her way back inside. What the hell was wrong with him? And why did she bring out the worst in him even now that he was a man grown and fully in charge of his senses? Well, fully in charge when he wasn’t around her, at least.
“Van, Van! Come and see what we made!” Alex came dashing around the side of the house, dancing with excitement.
“I’m on my way,” Van answered, grateful for the distraction.
And that was something Kayla Porter had always been. A distraction through and through. Maybe it hadn’t been such a great idea bringing her here, but if he wanted a place in his children’s lives, he had to accept she was part of the deal. For now, at least.
It didn’t mean he didn’t want to throttle her every now and then, though. Throttle her or something else? A tiny voice at the back of his mind poked at him, reminding him of his reaction to her just now. No, he wasn’t going there, he thought. Not again. Because he knew that if he did, he’d never be able to walk away like he had the last time.
Nine
After her altercation with Van, Kayla worked hard to steer clear of him over the next few days. It wasn’t too difficult. Early each morning, he drove to the Monterey Airport and piloted his helicopter to work in San Francisco. And he put in long hours. Whether that was all work and no play was none of her business, she reminded herself firmly as she looked at the clock in the main entrance on her way upstairs. So what if it was nine thirty and he was still nowhere to be seen? However, for a man who’d said he wanted to have more to do with his children, he was doing a mighty poor job of spending time with his daughter.
And there she was again. Annoyed at him. Angry. Neither of which were her n
atural state. She’d always been sunny natured. Cheerful. Able to look on the bright side of pretty much everything all the time. But living under the same, albeit expansive, roof as Van Murphy was totally doing her head in. The last few nights, she’d resumed doing a little yoga before bed. It helped her to center herself and she certainly needed centering right now.
Since she was already dressed in a loose-fitting pair of stretch pants and one of her favorite tie-dyed shirts, she walked across to the large square of carpet in the living room and slipped off her shoes. The fibers of the carpet were thick and spongy beneath her bare feet and she wriggled her toes in them, enjoying the sensation against her skin. When was the last time she’d taken a minute just to be in the moment? Sure, she’d been doing her exercises but more as a matter of rote, not so much as a state of mind.
She lowered into a deep squat, lifted her arms and pressed her palms together in front of her as though in prayer, then closed her eyes and consciously made an effort to relax. Slowly, she breathed in and out, clearing her mind of thoughts.
It lasted all of about two minutes before her mind was racing ahead thinking about Van again. She was annoyed with him for spending so long away from home. Sienna might not know any better now, but it wouldn’t be long before she got old enough to notice. Was this really the kind of father he intended to be—an absentee one?
But then she remembered watching him with Alex last Saturday. It had been quite an eye-opener. He was different with the boy than he was with her. Not as dictatorial, for a start, she noted with a huff of irritation.
Stop it, she told herself. Stop thinking about him. Relax. Empty your mind. Breathe in. Breathe out. She worked through her sun-salutation warm-up routine but the Big Brother version of Van continued to intrude.
She’d been intrigued by the man she’d seen. To encourage Alex to continue to strive hard, he’d even promised the kid a ride in his helicopter if he kept his grades up until the end of the school year. He was firm with the boy but kind about it. Almost, dare she say it, nurturing. It was interesting to reflect on, she thought as she moved into her first pose with an ease and familiarity from years of experience. Maybe he was offering Alex what he’d missed out on all those years as a child himself.
One Heir...or Two? Page 9
