“Thank you. That means a lot to me, and I’m really looking forward to working with you.” The tension, the strange situation, the unknown future — it was so stressful. Katie wanted to grab onto Blake and never let him go, but it was almost a relief when he left and she was free to prepare for the show on her own.
• • •
Blake slumped on the couch in his dressing room and stared at the ceiling, motionless. He didn’t know how he would react to seeing Katie again, but he never imagined that he’d be so stiff and ridiculous. He could just hear himself telling her that their relationship wouldn’t interfere with her job, and he felt like an idiot. He should forget about the other guys, pull her into his arms, and beg her for forgiveness.
She was so beautiful on stage during rehearsal, so clearly in her element. He would have to pull himself together if he was going to work alongside her for six months. Would she take him back? Would it be better to wait until the tour ended? Seeing her this afternoon assured Blake that his feelings for her had not changed except to grow stronger. He felt the same magnetic pull towards Katie, the same undeniable attraction to her. One look at her affirmed that he had made the right decision in asking her to join him on tour. Fortunately for him, she was as talented as she was beautiful. Unfortunately for him, the hurt lingering in her eyes was caused by him and his stupid inability to commit.
He didn’t know how he was going to do it, but he did know that he couldn’t mess things up with Katie this time. He thought calling her to hire her was hard. Now he had his work cut out for him.
• • •
A knock on her door woke Katie from a nap on the little couch in her dressing room, and she stretched, feeling like she had been asleep for days instead of an hour. Her body ached and her mouth felt like she had been chewing on a sweater, but it was time to get ready for the show. Tiffany and Cara stepped into the doorway, matching expectant smiles on their faces.
“You guys! What are you doing here?” Katie hopped up, forgetting how sore her muscles were and how foggy her head had felt. “I can’t believe it! You’re really here! How can it be?” She squealed as she rushed over to the hairstylist and makeup artist and pulled them into a big hug.
Tiffany laughed, “Girl, when Blake Jackson called, I came running.”
“You know it. Well, actually his assistant called, but I think it was his idea. He thought you might like a couple of familiar faces when you got here,” Cara added.
Katie’s eyes shone with tears. “I’m so glad that y’all came. I’m excited to be here, but I have to admit, it has been so hard. I don’t really know anybody and I can’t tell if they want me here or not. Blake kind of let the other fiddler go to bring me here, and it’s not going over with the rest of the band very well.”
Cara sucked in a breath. “Ooh, awkward.”
Katie laughed without humor. “Tell me about it. So there’s that, and it’s weird to be back with Blake. We hadn’t spoken once since I left.”
“Wow, really? Last time we saw you two together, you guys were like two peas in a pod. Did you break up or something?” Tiffany asked.
“Yeah, I guess we did. We couldn’t really agree about what we would do when my band was finished with the tour and things just kind of went downhill from there. I’m sure you know that I had a bad fall and ended up in the hospital, right? Well, that’s why I had to go home early. I ended up with a concussion and had to take it easy for a couple of weeks. Blake’s fiddler replaced me for the last couple of Sterling’s shows so they finished up without me. One thing led to another and now here I am, working for Blake.”
“So now what? Think you two will get back together?” Cara finished setting up her products on the vanity and started working on Katie’s hair.
“I don’t know,” Katie said. She looked down at her hands in her lap and sighed. “To be honest, when he called to hire me, I really thought we would. I tried not to let myself get carried away, but of course I thought we would. I think I really want to, but I’m not sure.”
Tiffany’s brow furrowed as she applied Katie’s makeup. “You think you might not get back together?”
“I really don’t know. I have to be really careful this time, really consider everything before I decide what to do. It’s hard, because I love him, he’s my heart. It’s like when he’s gone I can’t breathe. I left my band to be here though, and I had been with them for six years. That was a lot to give up, and there’s no going back for me now. I have to be really careful with Blake, because now he’s my boss. If things don’t go well this time, he could fire me, or at least make things really uncomfortable for me. I didn’t really think it through before I made my decision. I was just hoping that he felt the same way that I do and that maybe he would have missed me so much that he would have changed.”
“Hmm, well I don’t know what’s going to happen, but one thing I can tell you for sure, you made the right choice. The last time I saw you two together, Blake Jackson looked like a man in love, and I’ve only seen a man look at a woman the way he looks at you in movies. You can’t fake that in real life,” said Tiffany.
“Well I guess we’ll see. I have to figure out how to work with him no matter what happens.”
Tiffany and Cara finished Katie’s hair and makeup and said their goodbyes. They stepped aside, giggling, as Blake came in as they were leaving.
“Perfect timing. We just finished hair and makeup.” Katie turned to Blake and smiled shyly.
“I see that.” He eyed her appreciatively. “You look gorgeous.”
“Aw, thank you. Well, come on in. What’s up?” Katie was being artificially casual, but she wasn’t going to throw herself at Blake.
“I just wanted to see you before the show. I still can’t believe you’re here.” They sat on her little couch together and he took a strand of her hair between his thumb and finger, rubbing it absentmindedly as he looked into her eyes. “I never got a chance to see how it went with the Sterling guys.”
“Oh, them.” Katie frowned and took a deep breath. “It was pretty harsh. I told Charles about it first, and he was so understanding and sweet about it that I mistakenly thought the other guys would be okay with it. It was truly awful. I was hoping that we could all be friends, that maybe we could work together again in the future, something. I don’t think they’ll ever want to see me again.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Yeah. They were really mad. The band is struggling, financially, and we — or they, I guess — need to wait before going back into the studio. Everyone was already kind of down about everything, so this was just like more bad news. They were pretty resentful that I was moving on to a bigger act while Sterling still has to struggle.”
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t sure which way it would go with them. It it’s any consolation, my band was pretty ticked off, too.” He smiled ruefully.
“Well, you can just fire anyone who gives you a hard time.” She punched him playfully on the shoulder.
“I should do that, maybe just remind them who’s boss,” he said with a smile. “Seriously though, it’s probably my fault. I always thought I was doing the best thing by treating my musicians like we were in this together, but when it comes time to make tough decisions it goes down harder. It’s not easy for them to go from seeing me as the singer in their band to their boss.”
“Well, I’ll be extra careful, then. Don’t want to blur any lines.”
Blake took Katie’s face in his hands and gently placed a soft kiss on her lips. “You are the exception.” Reluctantly, he got to his feet and walked to the door. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Chapter Fifteen
Katie felt like she had been baptized by fire the past week after joining Blake’s tour, but things were smoothing out and she was hitting her stride. The music was coming more naturally to her, the guys in the band seemed to be starting to respect her as a musician in her own right, and every day she felt more confident.
It was so tempting to reach
out and touch Blake every time they were together, but he treated her with professionalism and painstaking equality when they were with the band. It was almost physically painful for her to keep her distance from him, but now that the band was starting to bring her into the fold, she was so glad that she had. If they believed she was there as Blake’s girlfriend, her life on the road with them would be miserable. Her heart still skipped a beat when she saw him, and she longed for the day when they could have a chance at a normal relationship.
Katie was resting in her dressing room in Wichita, Kansas, after Tiffany and Cara had finished transforming her for the show when Caroline Mathers stopped by. “Katie, Blake would like for you to see him in his dressing room as soon as you can.” Caroline’s carefully arranged neutral expression revealed nothing.
“Hmm, okay. I’ll be right there. Thanks.” Katie wondered if there was a problem.
She gave herself a quick look in the mirror and applied a fresh coat of lip gloss before heading down the hallway to Blake’s dressing room. She knocked on the door, which was already slightly ajar.
The door opened to reveal Blake standing in the middle of the room surrounded by soft candlelight. Katie walked in and turned around in a slow circle, taking in the candles filling Blake’s room. He had placed about a dozen candles in small jars on every flat surface of the room. Blake offered Katie a flute of pink champagne and led her to the couch. They sat side by side, and he looked at her with hope in his eyes.
“First, I want to tell you how glad I am that you’re here, and how sorry I am for everything that’s happened. I have been so scared that I would mess things up with you that once you were here I didn’t know what to say. I know that you were probably expecting something different, and once again I didn’t deliver. I feel like a fool for how I’ve behaved, and I want you back.”
Katie took in the scene that Blake had constructed, breathed in the heady amber scent of the candles, and took a sip of her champagne, feeling bubbles tickle her nose. Everything was beautiful, a perfect scenario. She thought that any girl in America would be happy to be in her cowboy boots right now. It would be so easy to say yes and go back to the way things were. It felt right, and Katie wanted to be with Blake. Just being in the same room with him made her nerves tingle with excitement. Everything about Blake was made just for her, like he was the perfect fit. She had worked so hard to find the place within herself where she could work alongside Blake without tasting the bitterness of his refusal to commit, but all she wanted to do was surrender to his touch now that he had said he wanted her back. She wanted him back too, but she hadn’t forgotten the dark days of loneliness she suffered through during the weeks at home in Texas with no communication from him. It would take more than candles and champagne to assure her that he wouldn’t hurt her all over again. As much as she ached for Blake to be back in her life, it had been too hard to let him go. She’d have to be sure that he was sincere.
“I don’t know. I don’t think I’m quite ready. This is lovely,” she gestured around the room. “It really is. I know that I’m lucky to be here, but you know, you’ve really hurt me. When you let me go, my world stopped. I felt like my heart had cracked wide open. Everything was darker without you. When I was at home and didn’t hear from you even once, I thought I would stop breathing. But I didn’t. I picked myself up, all on my own, and now I’m starting to feel normal again.”
“I’m so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself for how I treated you. You deserve so much better, and I want the chance to give it to you.” Blake’s eyes were pleading.
“I appreciate that, and I forgive you. I really do, and you don’t have to be sorry any more. But I can’t forget it, at least not yet. I have to be realistic and ask myself if this would be happening if you hadn’t been able to hire me. If you didn’t need me in your band, would we have ever spoken again?”
“Of course we would,” Blake insisted. “I risked losing the respect of the rest of the band to bring you here. I let a great fiddler go for you. I risked my reputation for you, and I didn’t do that on a whim.”
“I appreciate all that, I really do, and I don’t take it lightly. I’m just not entirely convinced that it would have happened if Chet didn’t need to take the time off. Remember that before you brought me back, you had to let me go. You let me go home because I couldn’t give up my entire life to be with you. You couldn’t see past your own wants and needs to try to meet me halfway. I hate to say this, but it really felt like you thought of yourself first. When things got tough, you didn’t really consider my needs. It seemed like if it couldn’t be on your terms, you didn’t want a relationship with me.”
Blake took her hand and stroked circles against her skin with his thumb. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t think that I was a good enough bet, and I didn’t want you to take the chance on me. I’ve never done this before and I know that I screwed it up. I can see that I have been so selfish, and I’m ready to change.”
She squeezed his hand. “I hope so. I’ve changed, too. I’m not going to give my heart to someone who won’t keep it safe. I want and need a real commitment, and I don’t want to beg for it. I love what we had together, but I don’t want it back if it’s not for real.”
“We can have that again. We could go back to the way we were. We’re here together now, and we can stay together.”
“I’d like to think that, but I need more time before I’m sure. We’re only together here because you had a convenient way to make that happen. I certainly appreciate it, don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for the opportunity, but I have to be careful with my heart. As far as I know, you could have gone the rest of your life without ever calling me again. I’ll need time to see if this is more than a convenient situation for you. If you don’t want to wait, then I’m sure there are a hundred other girls who would be willing to take whatever you’d be willing to give them.”
Blake smiled, as though he sensed that he had a chance. “I don’t want any other girls. I want you, only you, and I’ll prove it to you.”
Katie kissed Blake softly on the lips and whispered, “I hope so.”
• • •
Blake made his way around the dressing room, blowing out candles, dazed in disbelief. He had known that it might be awkward between him and Katie, but he thought the champagne and candles would put her in a more romantic mood.
He wished that he hadn’t been so awkward and stiff around her when she first joined the tour. Surely she was expecting a warmer reception, and then what she got was Mr. Businessman. She obviously needed to see that he could change, that he could put someone else’s needs above his own. He had to find a way to make her believe that he could commit.
Blake wished that he had a sister or even a close female friend who could help him with this. He needed a big idea, like a grand gesture, to win her back. He thought the candles and champagne would do the trick, but he apparently underestimated how badly she had been hurt.
• • •
Katie quickly rounded the corner and made sure she was out of Blake’s eyesight before she let herself slow her steps to a more normal pace. She relaxed her shoulders and took a few deep breaths as she approached her dressing room. Once she was safely ensconced in the privacy of her room, she locked the door and sat down on her couch. She wanted to fling herself face down on the cushions but Tiffany and Cara had worked so hard to perfect her look that she hated to ruin it.
So, Blake wanted her back. Now what? Katie imagined how delicious it would feel to be back in Blake’s arms, feeling his breath tickle her earlobe as he whispered sweet words to her. It would feel perfect to be back by his side, and part of her wanted to forget about waiting and just jump back in to the relationship. Everything was right when they were together. It was as if Blake was made for her, like she had found her perfect match.
She thought of the dark days following her return home to Texas, how many hours she sat alone, wishing he would call. It seemed to have been so easy for him
to forget about her. Of course, she didn’t know if he had forgotten about her or if he truly just didn’t know what to do. She decided that there was no reason that she couldn’t eventually move past what had happened, but she would need evidence of a big change in Blake. She needed to see that he wouldn’t take her for granted again. He would have to show her that he had grown enough to think of someone other than himself, that her heart would be safe with him. She just hoped that she keep herself from throwing herself in his arms long enough to make him work to get her back.
She looked at herself in the big dressing room mirror, at her expertly applied makeup and shiny, bouncy hair, and realized that she hadn’t given Blake enough credit. He had made the arrangements for Tiffany and Cara to join her on tour, at his own expense, as a way to make Katie more comfortable. He figured that she would need a couple of friendly faces when she arrived, and had made this happen for her. It was entirely possible that Caroline Mathers had given him the idea, but Katie chose to believe that Blake thought of it all himself. She picked up her cell phone and dialed Blake’s number.
“Katie!” Blake answered, sounding achingly optimistic.
“Hey. Listen, I just wanted to thank you so much for bringing Tiffany and Cara on board for me. I never thanked you for that, and I want you to know how much it means to me. I was so excited to see them, and everything has been so overwhelming for me that it is wonderful to have them here with me.”
“It’s my pleasure, sweetheart. I’m glad that you’re happy. You know, if you decide to give me the chance, I’ll do many more things to make you happy.” Katie could hear the smile in Blake’s voice. He sounded lighthearted, but she hoped that he was completely sincere.
“Keep it up, Mr. Jackson, and I might have to find out.” Katie kept her tone light, but she wondered how she would ever hold out long enough to be sure that he had changed.
Kiss Me, Katie (Crimson Romance) Page 14
