by A. C. Wilson
His grip tightened on the keys in his hand. His jaw firmed and he gritted his teeth until he thought they might crack. The screams filled his ears and he swore he could smell gasoline. The thick, black smoke carved up his senses until it smothered him. Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, shaky fingers touched the screen and then put it up to his ear. Blake closed his eyes as the tears seeped underneath his lashes and rocked on his cheeks.
Hey you’ve reached Tanner! I’m not able to come to the phone so leave a message or don’t.
Blake leaned his head back against the couch and fought the urge to sob. Even in the silence of the house, he could hear everything and it wouldn’t stop. It forever echoed in his heart and clawed ruthlessly at his soul. He could only pray. Sometimes exhaustion would claim him and he’d fall into a dark place. It was worse. It scared him beyond the reaches of a balanced man. It made him wish that he had died right alongside his men and his best friend, Tanner.
Yep, death had to be preferable to this hell he lived in.
CHAPTER THREE
Shards of glass flying into his face and the smell of burning fuel had Blake shooting up off the couch. His heart was pounding and his head spun with its attempt to understand just what the hell was going on. Sweat trickled down his spine and absorbed into the waistband of his jeans. He swallowed hard as he lifted his chin towards the ceiling as he tried to take a deeper breath.
No more. No more. It’s over.
He chanted to himself as he willed his heart to stop banging against his rib cage. Gradually each breath became deeper and his surroundings shifted to the little house he had rented for a month. Grabbing the back of the couch in his hand, Blake grounded himself further. He was in Hot Springs, South Dakota looking for a family that may or may not know he exists. If anything were to come of this, he hoped peace would be possible.
Please God put them to rest. Let their souls heal in your love. Let them stop dying each moment I close my eyes and hear them crying out to me.
Blake’s silent prayer became more and more a plea. This was not living. This was dying slowly and decaying from the inside out. This wasn’t what he had signed up to serve for. Still he couldn’t bring himself to renounce the good he had done all those years. He was a soldier after all. He was a soldier who was broken by the insanity of war.
Stiltedly he walked around the couch and towards the small bedroom where his duffel bag sat on the end of the bed. The room was rather cheerful with a blue patterned quilt and pictures of the countryside. He stared into one particularly beautiful and wished he could set off across the tall prairie grass into the sunset. Nothing but the glorious space stretching out into forever. Blake didn’t fear being alone. For the most part, he had spent his life alone except for the comradery of his companions in his unit. Now he was afraid of being haunted forever by the last tour, the last mission he had had to complete. Stepping foot on American soil, the riot of pictures, emotions and sounds bombarded him relentlessly.
Pulling his clothes out from the duffel bag, he picked a clean pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. Deciding that a shower might be just what he needed to clear away some of the cobwebs, he got down to business. Fifteen minutes in the shower made a world of difference besides he now felt clean. Fastening his belt on his jeans, Blake clicked on his phone and shook his head. He had only been asleep less than a couple of hours. Opening the bottle next to his deodorant, he took a couple of pills and popped them into his mouth. They were prescribed for the intense anxiety and for the pain of the shrapnel wounds he had suffered on his back.
Too bad it never seemed to do anything other than take the edge off.
Slipping his wallet into his back pocket, Blake picked up his ball cap and picked up his new house keys from the small table by the door. Giving one last precursory look around, Blake closed the front door and locked it. He pressed his entry button for his truck, watched the front lights blink and took a deep breath. The hardest moments were those when he had to keep breathing. Sometimes that was the only plan he could make. Just breathing through the moments that staked a claim on his life.
Stepping into his truck and pulling the door closed, Blake locked the seatbelt and fired up the engine. He backed out of his driveway onto the road and followed it back to the main highway. There wasn’t a stitch of food in the house and he figured doing something as mundane as grocery shopping would set some normalcy into his day. Luckily the store was easy to find and he pulled into the parking lot fifteen minutes after leaving his new house. Scanning the lot for a good spot, Blake noticed a young woman attempting to get a tire out of her truck bed. He lifted a brow in curiosity. She seemed to be having a time of it if her expression was anything to go by.
Blake pulled into a spot three down from her and turned his engine off. She didn’t act like she noticed. He sat for a moment. Her long blonde hair was pulled up into a ponytail. Her tank top was already showing signs of sweat from her exertions and her jeans clung lovingly to her backside. He bit his lip and opened the door to get out. Coming around the front of his truck quickly, Blake caught the heavy truck tire before it bounced across the parking lot. He eased the tire back down to the ground.
“Thank you.” Her voice met his ear and he offered a smile as he turned around. It wasn’t even a fake smile he often found himself giving to others.
“You’re welcome.” He took in her light brown eyes with darker flecks of chocolate. She stared at him as well. He wasn’t sure how many seconds they stood there. His reaction to her had caught him off guard and he couldn’t say it was unwelcome.
“Can you believe of all things to happen, I get a flat tire on this beast of a truck and it’s hotter than Hades out here?” She twitched the end of her ponytail off her shoulder and tugged the jack out of the truck bed. Blake would have helped her had he been able to push his brain away her.
“Oh, well, that’s how it works, doesn’t it?” Blake couldn’t quite ditch the tingling his heart was doing at her presence. For a moment he thought maybe it was the medication he had taken, but then, he hoped not.
“Apparently it happens when my boss is unavailable and my cell battery is dead!” The lovely blonde threw her hands in the air and shook her head as she squared up the jack. Blake pulled himself out of his sidebar and pitched in. She was allowing him to take over and that suited him just as well. He had always been a leader.
“It shouldn’t be too hard to fix. Do you have a tire wrench?” Blake asked as he set the jack up and began pumping the handle to lift the flat tire up off the ground.
“Yeah, it is behind the seat. I’ll grab it.” She turned from him to open the truck door and dig behind the seat. Blake couldn’t help but admire the fit of her jeans. She definitely had curves in all the right places and he loved that she wasn’t extremely thin. He was often drawn to women with substance. He grinned just thinking about it as she turned around with the wrench. The woman lifted an arched brow and handed it over.
“Great. Thank you.” He tipped his head back down and began working on the tire. The lug nuts took some persuasion and after some grunting and near cussing, Blake got them off. He handed each one to her to hold and liked the way it felt as his fingertips brushed her palm.
“Hang on just a second while I switch the tires out and then I will need the lug nuts back.” Blake worked the flat off and winced when it fell to the pavement. He rolled it to the side and then walked the inflated tire to the mount. Hefting the tire into place, Blake held out his palm for the nuts and bit his lip when she did exactly the same thing to him. Each nut one at a time and each time her fingertips grazed his palm. His mind wanted to wander more along this subject line, but he needed to get this done. It really was freaking hot out here in the South Dakota sun.
“There we go. It’s as good as new.” Blake got up from his crouching position and grimaced, his hand pressing against his side. The wounds were healed but the scars were tight. It had been too much to hope she hadn’t noticed. One look into those beau
tiful brown eyes told him that he was dreaming. As unlikely as it seemed, she didn’t say anything about it. She only took the jack to the back of the truck, lifted it into the back of the bed and closed the tailgate.
“Thank you for your help.” She smiled at him and he grinned as he leaned up against the back fender. He made sure she was watching him when he met her eyes and then looked down at the ground. She furrowed her brow and then followed his gaze. Embarrassment only made her cheeks redder. His grin widened. The flat tire still lay on the ground.
Dropping her head, she opened the tailgate again and then moved to get the tire. He met her there and without speaking, they lifted it together and slid it across the bed. Her cheeks were still rather red, but Blake wasn’t sure if it was just the heat now. She brushed her hands off onto her jeans and smiled. His heart jumped at the sight. She also extended her hand to him. Only a moment’s hesitation and he took it into his own.
“I appreciate your help.” She moved to pull her hand away, but Blake tightened his grip.
“Would it be too forward to ask your name?” He asked her, a grin spreading over his lips again. She tilted her head to the side and then nodded.
“Bailey.” He sensed that was all she was going to offer, but he would take it. At least this beautiful woman had an equally beautiful name. She wouldn’t remain a mystery in his dreams. He shrugged aside the thought that he only entertained nightmares now.
“It was nice to meet you, Bailey. My name is Blake.” Two could play at her game so he released her hand. She stepped around him to get to the truck door and up into the cab. She looked rather small inside that truck, but when she started it up, he re-thought that idea. Bailey was in total command and it made him like her all the more.
“I’ll see you around.” Bailey said as she pulled the truck out of the parking spot and drove to the main road. Blake smiled.
“I hope so.” He said to himself as he dusted his jeans off and moved towards the grocery story entrance. He looked once more to the intersection, but Bailey was gone. Blake couldn’t explain how he missed her already. Hot Springs was a small town though so maybe he would meet her again.
CHAPTER FOUR
Blake moved through the aisles at the grocery store pushing a metal cart before him. The front wheels squeaked occasionally. He rolled his eyes and tried to focus on what he might need in the time that he would be here. He didn’t want to be running to and fro all the time.
Basics. Basics were good. Milk, butter, orange juice, bread, eggs, and meat were all staples. He made a mental note to walk slowly through the dairy aisle when he got there. Now he turned the corner and progressed quickly down the boxed cereal towards the canned goods. Blake wrinkled his nose at the sugary breakfast foods and made another note to pick up bacon and some potatoes. He much preferred a hearty breakfast to a bowl of cold, mushy cereal.
The further he squeaked down between the shelves the more irritated and befuddled he became. This wasn’t so hard all that long ago when he had shopped and cooked for himself or he would go out to eat. It was unreal how much had changed in nearly a year and a half being out of the country. Just one more sight of something he didn’t do well was another thorn in his side. The barely suppressed anger slowly boiled to the surface and to his credit, Blake noted it.
Carefully he went through the dairy products selecting his previous items and came to the freezer section. Pizza was always good and perhaps some of those pre-cooked entrees too. In the middle of deciding on lasagna or enchiladas, a woman’s voice caught his ear. Pausing in his mental selections, Blake eavesdropped on the woman just down the aisle talking to herself. He turned and looked at her a bit more in detail. She was of average height, long, dark curly hair with a rather athletic looking body. She was apparently trying to decide between two different kinds of ice cream.
Blake chuckled as he put both of the entrees in his shopping cart and pushed it towards the woman. As he made to pass her, she suddenly turned to him and smiled. Blake stopped and smiled in a bit of a daze. She was beautiful, but it was her eyes that captivated him. They were gold. They sparkled with mischief and good humor.
“Butter Brickle or Strawberry Cheesecake?” She held out her hands and weighed the bricks of ice cream like her arms were a scale. Blake laughed out loud and instantly felt a connection with her. Her brilliant eyes twinkled.
“Why not get both?” Blake lifted a brow in question and she emphatically shook her head.
“Oh no! I couldn’t do that. I would like to continue to fit into my jeans, thank you!” She narrowed her eyes and concentrated on the ice cream individually. Blake couldn’t help but look her up and down. He wondered how he could tell her that he didn’t think she had anything to worry about without getting slapped for it.
“Okay, how about this?” Blake took each carton into his hands and then told her to turn around. She pressed her lips together, narrowed her eyes, tilted her head a bit and then gave into his request. Blake shuffled the frozen bricks around in his hands and then put them back behind his back. “Now turn around and pick the first side that you look at.”
She turned around, hesitated only slightly and then pointed at his left side. Blake grinned as he brought his hand around to reveal the ice cream she had randomly chosen.
“Butter Brickle! It’s my favorite!” She laughed and took the ice cream from him. After she’d placed it in her cart, she turned back to him. “It must be my lucky day to find someone so adept at sorting out problems.”
Blake waved a hand and only smiled. In the few short minutes that he had been talking to her, this woman had made him feel at ease and very close to happy. It was in his nature to analyze everything, but right now, he didn’t want to do that. He was afraid the feeling might go away and all he’d be left with was the pain and anger. He lifted his eyes to find those gloriously golden ones watching him and he knew she had seen the million questions that had passed over his features.
“My name is Rayne Randall.” She held out her hand in greeting and smiling warmly, Blake took it.
“Blake Phails. I am glad I could help.” She surprised him by the firmness of her grip and that fact that she didn’t let go right away. His interest was piqued as he realized she was as shrewd at reading people as she was beautiful.
Rayne let go of his hand and acted like she was ready to move on down the aisle. Blake let out a deep breath as he watched her. He had met two beautifully attractive women in the span of thirty minutes.
Hot Springs definitely has potential.
“Are you staying in Hot Springs or just passing through?” The woman’s voice penetrated his mental fog. Blake looked into her face.
“I’m here for a couple of weeks.” He wasn’t sure what else to add although from her face, he knew she expected more. There was a ten second delay of sizing up.
“Can I help you find someone?” She watched as his eyes lifted quickly. “It is a small town, but people are spread out. I haven’t been here a whole long time, but my boyfriend grew up here. He might be able to help.”
Boyfriend.
Well add a strike to his list. It wasn’t much of a mystery that such a woman would be attached. Still he couldn’t quite account for the feeling of disappointment.
“The fact is I am not sure who I am really looking for at the moment.” Blake bit his tongue before he said more. He wanted to say more. Rayne Randall invited all sorts of secrets, but he didn’t know if he could share the story with a stranger, even a stranger as gorgeous as she was.
“Fair enough.” She smiled softly, a odd light in her eyes and began pushing the cart again. His heart squeezed. She looked over her shoulder at him. “I am heading over to The Well for a drink and some lunch. Do you want to come? It’s the least I can do for the man who saved me from pulling my hair out over ice cream.”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to start any hard feelings on my first day here.” Blake shook his head, ready to depart the scene. There was no way he wanted to cause a
fight between himself and her boyfriend.
“I am still my own woman, thank you very much. However, he is going to be there and I think you could pick his brain about who you are trying to find.” She lifted a careful brow. “Besides, from the looks of your cart, you don’t cook very often.” She laughed at his surprised glance at his cart and then he laughed too. He liked Rayne. He liked that he felt lighter around her and perhaps she had a point. A local would know far more than he could find out on his own in a strange town.
“I accept then as long as you let me pay for lunch.” She looked to argue. “I insist.” His voice said he would brook no argument and she didn’t try. She only smiled.
They paid for their groceries and pushed their carts out together. Surprisingly she was parked just on the other side of his truck.
“I thought I was the only one who parked outside the normal parameters of the lot. I hate to get door dings and scratches on my baby.” She patted her truck’s hood and grinned. He laughed at her.
“I don’t usually park in the north forty, but I helped a young woman change a flat tire on her truck.” Blake handed her the grocery bags from the cart as she placed them inside the truck’s back seat.
“That was very nice of you.” Rayne smiled accepting the bags as he handed them over. “You better be careful around here. A nice guy like you will be flooded by women looking to make you their own.” Her laugh only made his smile deepen.
“Poor them.” Blake chuckled as he handed Rayne the last bag and a gallon of milk. Quickly he swiped a bag from his cart and snuck it into her hands. “Missed one.” He turned and unlocked his truck to put his meager groceries inside.
